by Joe Haldeman
The cab pulled up in front of Tom & Jerry’s Bar and Grill and let me out after I paid 430K. I stepped to the sidewalk with my hand on the shotgun-pistol, but there was nobody around. I hustled into the bar.
It was surprisingly clean on the inside, dimly lit and furnished in fake leather and fake pine. I went to the bar and got some fake bourbon and, presumably, real water for 120K. The water cost 20K. A waitress came over with a tray.
‘Pop one, brother-boy?’ The tray had a rack of old-fashioned hypodermic needles.
‘Not today, thanks.’ If I was going to ‘pop one,’ I’d use an aerosol. The needles looked unsanitary and painful.
She set the dope down on the bar and eased onto the stool next to me. She sat with her chin cupped in her palm and stared at her reflection in the mirror behind the bar. ‘God. Tuesdays.’
I mumbled something.
‘You wanna go in back fer a quickie?’
I looked at her with what I hoped was a neutral expression. She was wearing only a short skirt of some gossamer material, and it plunged in a shallow V in the front, exposing her hipbones and a few bleached pubic hairs. I wondered what could possibly keep it up. She wasn’t bad looking, could have been anywhere from her late twenties to her early forties. No telling what they could do with cosmetic surgery and makeup nowadays, though. Maybe she was older than my mother.
‘Thanks anyhow.’
‘Not today?’
‘That’s right.’
‘I can get you a nice boy, if—’
‘No. No thanks.’ What a world.
She pouted into the mirror, an expression that was probably older than Homo sapiens. ‘You don’t like me.’
‘I like you fine. That’s just not what I came here for.’
‘Well … different funs for different ones.’ She shrugged. ‘Hey, Jerry. Get me a short beer.’
He brought it.
‘Oh, damn, my purse is locked up. Mister, can you spare forty calories?’ I had enough ration tickets to take care of a whole banquet. Tore off a fifty and gave it to the bartender.
‘Jesus.’ She stared. ‘How’d you get a full book at the end of the month?’
I told her in as few words as possible who I was and how I managed to have so many calories. There had been two months’ worth of books waiting in my mail, and I hadn’t even used up the ones the Force had given me. She offered to buy a book from me for ten grand, but I didn’t want to get involved in more than one illegal enterprise at a time.
Two men came in, one unarmed and the other with both a pistol and a riot gun. The bodyguard sat by the door and the other came over to me.
‘Mr Mandella?’
‘That’s right.’
‘Shall we take a booth?’ He didn’t offer his name.
He had a cup of coffee, and I sipped a mug of beer. ‘I don’t keep any written records, but I have an excellent memory. Tell me what sort of a job you’re interested in, what your qualifications are, what salary you’ll accept, and so on.’
I told him I’d prefer to wait for a job where I could use my physics — teaching or research, even engineering. I wouldn’t need a job for two or three months, since I planned to travel and spend money for a while. Wanted at least 20,000K monthly, but how much I’d accept would depend on the nature of the job.
He didn’t say a word until I’d finished. ‘Righty-oh. Now, I’m afraid … you’d have a hard time, getting a job in physics. Teaching is out; I can’t supply jobs where the person is constantly exposed to the public. Research, well, your degree is almost a quarter of a century old. You’d have to go back to school, maybe five or six years.’
‘Might do that,’ I said.
‘The one really marketable feature you have is your combat experience. I could probably place you in a supervisory job at a bodyguard agency for even more than twenty grand. You could make almost that much, being a bodyguard yourself.’
‘Thanks, but I wouldn’t want to take chances for somebody else’s hide.’
‘Righty-oh. Can’t say I blame you.’ He finished his coffee in a long slurp. ‘Well, I’ve got to run, got a thousand things to do. I’ll keep you in mind and talk to some people.’
‘Good. I’ll see you in a few months.’
‘Righty-oh. Don’t need to make an appointment. I come in here every day at eleven for coffee. Just show up.’
I finished my beer and called a cab to take me home. I wanted to walk around the city, but Mother was right. I’d get a bodyguard first.
9
I came home and the phone was blinking pale blue. Didn’t know what to do so I punched ‘Operator.’
A pretty young girl’s head materialized in the cube. ‘Jefferson operator,’ she said. ‘May I help you?’
‘Yes … what does it mean when the cube is blinking blue?’
‘Huh?’
‘What does it mean when the phone—’
‘Are you serious?’ I was getting a little tired of this kind of thing.
‘It’s a long story. Honest, I don’t know.’
‘When it blinks blue you’re supposed to call the operator.’
‘OK, here I am.’
‘No, not me, the real operator. Punch nine. Then punch zero.’
I did that and an old harridan appeared. ‘Ob-a-ray-duh.’
‘This is William Mandella at 301—52—574—3975. I was supposed to call you.’
‘Juzza segun.’ She reached outside the field of view and typed something. ‘You godda call from 605—19—556—2027.’
I scribbled it down on the pad by the phone. ‘Where’s that?’
‘Juzza segun. South Dakota.’
‘Thanks.’ I didn’t know anybody in South Dakota.
A pleasant-looking old woman answered the phone. ‘Yes?’
‘I had a call from this number … uh … I’m—’
‘Oh. Sergeant Mandella! Just a second.’
I watched the diagonal bar of the holding pattern for a second, then fifty or so more. Then a head came into focus.
Marygay. ‘William. I had a heck of a time finding you.’
‘Darling, me too. What are you doing in South Dakota?’
‘My parents live here, in a little commune. That’s why it took me so long to get to the phone.’ She held up two grimy hands. ‘Digging potatoes.’
‘But when I checked … the records said — the records in Tucson said your parents were both dead.’
‘No, they’re just dropouts — you know about dropouts? — new name, new life. I got the word through a cousin.’
‘Well — well, how’ve you been? Like the country life?’
‘That’s one reason I’ve been wanting to get you. Willy, I’m bored. It’s all very healthy and nice, but I want to do something dissipated and wicked. Naturally I thought of you.’
‘I’m flattered. Pick you up at eight?’
She checked a clock above the phone. ‘No, look, let’s get a good night’s sleep. Besides, I’ve got to get in the rest of the potatoes. Meet me at … the Ellis Island jetport at ten tomorrow morning. Mmm … Trans-World information desk.’
‘OK. Make reservations for where?’
She shrugged. ‘Pick a place.’
‘London used to be pretty wicked.’
‘Sounds good. First class?’
‘What else? I’ll get us a suite on one of the dirigibles.’
‘Good. Decadent. How long shall I pack for?’
‘We’ll buy clothes along the way. Travel light. Just one stuffed wallet apiece.’
She giggled. ‘Wonderful. Tomorrow at ten.’
‘Fine — uh … Marygay, do you have a gun?’
‘It’s that bad?’
‘Here around Washington it is.’
‘Well, I’ll get one. Dad has a couple over the fireplace. Guess they’re left over from Tucson.’
‘We’ll hope we won’t need them.’
‘Willy, you know it’ll just be for decoration. I couldn’t even kill a Tauran.’
‘Of course.’ We just looked at each other for a second. ‘Tomorrow at ten, then.’
‘Right. Love you.’
‘Uh …’
She giggled again and hung up.
That was just too many things to think about all at once.
I got us two round-the-world dirigible tickets; unlimited stops as long as you kept going east. It took me a little over two hours to get to Ellis by autocab and monorail. I was early, but so was Marygay.
She was talking to the girl at the desk and didn’t see me coming. Her outfit was really arresting, a tight coverall of plastic in a pattern of interlocking hands; as your angle of sight changed, various strategic hands became transparent. She had a ruddy sun-glow all over her body. I don’t know whether the feeling that rushed over me was simple honest lust or something more complicated. I hurried up behind her.
Whispering: ‘What are we going to do for three hours?’
She turned and gave me a quick hug and thanked the girl at the desk, then grabbed my hand and pulled me along to a slidewalk.
‘Um … where are we headed?’
‘Don’t ask questions, Sergeant. Just follow me.’
We stepped onto a roundabout and transferred to an eastbound slidewalk.
‘Do you want something to eat or drink?’ she asked innocently.
I tried to leer. ‘Any alternatives?’
She laughed gaily. Several people stared. ‘Just a second … here!’ We jumped off. It was a corridor marked ‘Roomettes.’ She handed me a key.
That damned plastic coverall was held on by static electricity. Since the roomette was nothing but a big waterbed, I almost broke my neck the first time it shocked me.
I recovered.
We were lying on our stomachs, looking through the one-way glass wall at the people rushing around down on the concourse. Marygay passed me a joint.
‘William, have you used that thing yet?’
‘What thing?’
‘That hawg-leg. The pistol.’
‘Only shot it once, in the store where I bought it.’
‘Do you really think you could point it at someone and blow him apart?’
I took a shallow puff and passed it back. ‘Hadn’t given it much thought, really. Until we talked last night.’
‘Well?’
‘I … I don’t really know. The only time I’ve killed was on Aleph, under hypnotic compulsion. But I don’t think it would … bother me, not that much, not if the person was trying to kill me in the first place. Why should it?’
‘Life,’ she said plaintively, ‘life is …’
‘Life is a bunch of cells walking around with a common purpose. If that common purpose is to get my ass—’
‘Oh, William. You sound like old Cortez.’
‘Cortez kept us alive.’
‘Not many of us,’ she snapped.
I rolled over and studied the ceiling tiles. She traced little designs on my chest, pushing the sweat around with her fingertip. ‘I’m sorry, William. I guess we’re both just trying to adjust.’
‘That’s OK. You’re right, anyhow.’
We talked for a long time. The only urban center Marygay had been to since our publicity rounds (which were very sheltered) was Sioux Falls. She had gone with her parents and the commune bodyguard. It sounded like a scaled-down version of Washington: the same problems, but not as acute.
We ticked off the things that bothered us: violence, high cost of living, too many people everywhere. I’d have added homolife, but Marygay said I just didn’t appreciate the social dynamic that had led to it; it had been inevitable. The only thing she said she had against it was that it took so many of the prettiest men out of circulation.
And the main thing that was wrong was that everything seemed to have gotten just a little worse, or at best remained the same. You would have predicted that at least a few facets of everyday life would improve markedly in twenty-two years. Her father contended the War was behind it all: any person who showed a shred of talent was sucked up by UNEF; the very best fell to the Elite Conscription Act and wound up being cannon fodder.
It was hard not to agree with him. Wars in the past often accelerated social reform, provided technological benefits, even sparked artistic activity. This one, however, seemed tailor-made to provide none of these positive by-products. Such improvements as had been made on late-twentieth-century technology were — like tachyon bombs and warships two kilometers long — at best, interesting developments of things that only required the synergy of money and existing engineering techniques. Social reform? The world was technically under martial law. As for art, I’m not sure I know good from bad. But artists to some extent have to reflect the temper of the times. Paintings and sculpture were full of torture and dark brooding; movies seemed static and plotless; music was dominated by nostalgic revivals of earlier forms; architecture was mainly concerned with finding someplace to put everybody; literature was damn near incomprehensible. Most people seemed to spend most of their time trying to find ways to outwit the government, trying to scrounge a few extra K’s or ration tickets without putting their lives in too much danger.
And in the past, people whose country was at war were constantly in contact with the war. The newspapers would be full of reports, veterans would return from the front; sometimes the front would move right into town, invaders marching down Main Street or bombs whistling through the night air — but always the sense of either working toward victory or at least delaying defeat. The enemy was a tangible thing, a propagandist’s monster whom you could understand, whom you could hate.
But this war … the enemy was a curious organism only vaguely understood, more often the subject of cartoons than nightmares. The main effect of the war on the home front was economic, unemotional — more taxes but more jobs as well. After twenty-two years, only twenty-seven returned veterans; not enough to make a decent parade. The most important fact about the war to most people was that if it ended suddenly, Earth’s economy would collapse.
You approached the dirigible by means of a small propeller-driven aircraft that drifted up to match trajectories and docked alongside. A clerk took our baggage and we checked our weapons with the purser, then went outside.
Just about everybody on the flight was standing out on the promenade deck, watching Manhattan creep toward the horizon. It was an eerie sight. The day was very still, so the bottom thirty or forty stories of the buildings were buried in smog. It looked like a city built on a cloud, a thunderhead floating. We watched it for a while and then went inside to eat.
The meal was elegantly served and simple: filet of beef, two vegetables, wine. Cheese and fruit and more wine for dessert. No fiddling with ration tickets; a loophole in the rationing laws implied that they were not required for meals consumed en route, on intercontinental transport.
We spent a lazy, comfortable three days crossing the Atlantic. The dirigibles had been a new thing when we first left Earth, and now they had turned out to be one of the few successful new financial ventures of the late twentieth century … the company that built them had bought up a few obsolete nuclear weapons; one bomb-sized hunk of plutonium would keep the whole fleet in the air for years. And, once launched, they never did come down. Floating hotels, supplied and maintained by regular shuttles, they were one last vestige of luxury in a world where nine billion people had something to eat, and almost nobody had enough.
London was not as dismal from the air as New York City had been; the air was clean even if the Thames was poison. We packed our handbags, claimed our weapons, and landed on a VTO pad atop the London Hilton. We rented a couple of tricycles at the hotel and, maps in hand, set off for Regent Street, planning on dinner at the venerable Cafe Royal.
The tricycles were little armored vehicles, stabilized gyroscopically so they couldn’t be tipped over. Seemed overly cautious for the part of London we traveled through, but I suppose there were probably sections as rough as Washington.
I got a d
ish of marinated venison and Marygay got salmon; both very good but astoundingly expensive. At first I was a bit overawed by the huge room, filled with plush and mirrors and faded gilding, very quiet even with a dozen tables occupied, and we talked in whispers until we realized that was foolish.
Over coffee I asked Marygay what the deal was with her parents.
‘Oh, it happens often enough,’ she said. ‘Dad got mixed up in some ration ticket thing. He’d gotten some black market tickets that turned out to be counterfeit. Cost him his job and he probably would have gone to jail, but while he was waiting for trial a bodysnatcher got him.’
‘Bodysnatcher?’
‘That’s right. All the commune organizations have them. They’ve got to get reliable farm labor, people who aren’t eligible for relief … people who can’t just lay down their tools and walk off when it gets rough. Almost everybody can get enough assistance to stay alive, though; everyone who isn’t on the government’s fecal roster.’
‘So he skipped out before his trial came up?’
She nodded. ‘It was a case of choosing between commune life, which he knew wasn’t easy, and going on the dole after a few years’ working on a prison farm; ex-convicts can’t get legitimate jobs. They had to forfeit their condominium, which they’d put up for bail, but the government would’ve gotten that anyhow, once he was in jail.
‘So the bodysnatcher offered him and Mother new identities, transportation to the commune, a cottage, and a plot of land. They took it.’
‘And what did the bodysnatcher get?’
‘He himself probably didn’t get anything. The commune got their ration tickets; they were allowed to keep their money, although they didn’t have very much—’
‘What happens if they get caught?’
‘Not a chance.’ She laughed. ‘The communes provide over half the country’s produce — they’re really just an unofficial arm of the government. I’m sure the CBI knows exactly where they are … Dad grumbles that it’s just a fancy way of being in jail anyhow.’
‘What a weird setup.’
‘Well, it keeps the land farmed.’ She pushed her empty dessert plate a symbolic centimeter away from her. ‘And they’re eating better than most people, better than they ever had in the city. Mom knows a hundred ways to fix chicken and potatoes.’