The Choosing

by Darcy Sweet

  A soothing rinse with warm water was followed by soft hands rolling me over to lay face down. My head returned to nestle cushioned in the recess. The process had been hypnotic. The rhythm of their hands, the wine, the incense, even the oddly comfortable altar stone had lulled me into a dream state. I fought to stay conscious. Sweet sleep beckoned. I teetered on the abyss of dark comfort.

  The Marker’s raspy voice broke in through my thickening daze, “It begins.”

  Askel stroked the back of my head gently. “Sink into the pain Mistress. Center it.”

  The first prick stung, like an angry wasp I remembered stepping on as a child. The needle's stinging briefly gave way to burning just as the Marker sank the needle a second time. And another. Now a steady beat. A tap, a burn, then more stinging. Biting across my skin, burning a trail of angry fire. Needles at my spine, at the base of my neck. Again and again the tapping, the burning, it seemed ceaseless—the Marker pausing only to press a soft damp cloth to the skin that he’d pierced. It hurt most on the bone as he pressed the needles into my spine. I gripped the edge of the rock at each pierce of his relentless needle.

  I tried to sink into the pain. To accept the needle. But I couldn’t. It was more than the press of the needle, the burn of the ink. Beneath the pain, there was something else. Something wrong. Very wrong. With each sting, I grew smaller somehow. Less. Weaker. It was not what I expected. I could not say how but I knew, through the fog of the incense and pain that this was not right.

  I shifted, rolled my shoulders trying to get up from the altar. Hands pressed me down.

  “She is strong.” A voice I had heard before, a man, not Askel but I could not place who it was. I knew him. Who?

  “That’s exactly why she needs to be tethered.” A woman now. A spiteful woman. Words laced with hate. What had I done to her?

  Tether? I’d heard the word before. It was wrong. The Mother did not want me tethered. I should not be tethered. I pushed back against the hands that held me, trying to rise up on elbows.

  “She needs more. I need her kept still.”

  “Spell her, spell her, quickly.” The woman again. I did not like her. I wanted her gone. Gone.

  Adrenalin spiked in my veins. Animal instinct, a primal urge shrieked at me: Fight! Flee!

  I brought my arms to my sides and heaved upwards as hard as I could. My head pounded, my heart thudding wildly. At both sides the women came, soft voices in my ear. A tuneless chant and smoke swirled around my head.

  The fight drained away, seeping from me.

  Heavy. I felt so heavy. I tried to fight it. The smoke, the sound, the markings on my skin, but I could not. It covered me, smothered me and I sank down, weak, tired. The room swirled and went dark.

  “Talia my darling Talia.”

  This voice I knew. Nadar. He wasn’t with me. I wasn’t with him. I knew that he was between. We were between worlds. The dream and the now.

  “Save your fight, Talia.”

  Fight. Yes I had to fight. Flee. But I was tired. So tired.

  “Rest. I will find you.”

  Why? Why would he find me.

  His laugh filled my head. A soft, beguiling chuckle that rolled over me. It cushioned the pain. Surrounded me with comfort.

  “Why? Oh my sweet, how could you not know?”

  I could not see his face. I wanted to see him. Touch him. I reached forward, with arms that were not real, fingers that could not feel. I tried, tried to touch him, find him, but he was gone. Gone.

  And I slipped into the black. Over the abyss into the nothing.

  * * * *

  I awoke to sunlight on my skin. My cheek hot with the harsh beat of the midday sun. A feeling I had not had since before the circle in the swamp. I was outdoors. Above ground. I opened my eyes. Red hot light made me clamp a hand across my face to shield against the sun.

  “You’re awake.”

  “Askel?” My mouth felt like it was stuffed with dirty cotton. Rotten and dry.

  “Yes.” He did not sound happy.

  I sat, dragging myself up on unsteady arms. Hard wood scraped my back. We were rocking. Moving.

  We were in a cart, an open cart. I looked forward. Two men drove the horses, across from me sat Askel and one other. I hurt all over. My head. My throat. My back. Then I remembered. My hands flew to my neck, to the bandage that covered my neck and upper back.

  “Tethered.” I whispered the word. Fearful even though I did not know what it meant.

  Askel nodded.

  Tethered—the word itself meant tied. I was somehow tied. To whom? Who held this tether? I looked to Askel who shook his head, “Not to me. Not to anyone—yet.”

  “Yet.” My throat tightened. I couldn’t breathe. Fear gripped me with an iron clasp, squeezing my chest until I had no air. My vision blurred, rimmed with red. Askel reached forward and shoved my head between my knees.

  “Calm, Mistress—breathe. Breathe slowly.” He kept his hand lightly on the back of my head, his fingers threaded in my hair. I closed my eyes and forced myself to calm, concentrating on each slow breath. When my breath came without pain I opened my eyes. At my foot, around my ankle was an iron band. I was chained to the cart.

  Fear became anger. In a hot flash of hate I wrenched free of Askel’s hand and glared at him.

  “So, Askel, I no longer have to ask which school of the desperate to which you belong.”

  He flushed red.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Not as much as I am.”

  “It was necessary.”

  “Necessary? To drug me, tether and tie me down? Necessary?” I laughed. Like a madwoman, an ugly fierce crazy sound.

  “For all the Sarran, sacrifices must be made.”

  “My sacrifice.”

  He looked away. He could not meet my eyes. Askel was soft. Weak, he was a minion, a foot soldier. No way had he planned this.

  “Haakon,” I said, finally placing the voice I had heard in the tattoo chamber.

  Askel did not answer but met my eyes with a look of shocked surprise that said far more than words. “And Audhild. I heard them both in the Tattoo Chamber.”

  “You weren’t supposed to.”

  I laughed again. “Supposed. I had once supposed many things that did not turn out as I wished. Is that who you’re taking me to now? Audhild and Haakon?”

  He shook his head again. Looked away. Guilty. Unable to meet my eyes. So, it was worse than Audhild. Worse than Haakon. Who did he sacrifice me to? Anger edged with icy fear of the unknown.

  The cart came to a halt. We were at a clearing that lead into a rock quarry. Askel jumped from the cart and pulled me forward. The chain scraped against the wood, dragging as I shuffled forward on my buttocks. When I reached the end of the cart Askel released the iron band from my ankle. I stood and stretched out my back. They had dressed me at least. Small mercies, I supposed I should have been thankful I did not have to suffer the indignity of being naked as well as chained.

  I was dressed in a dark long sleeved bodice and skirt, similar to my everyday clothes that I wore in Hawthorne. A white apron covered my front and I wore ankle boots. Functional clothes. Suitable for a long journey. By horseback, in a carriage or on foot. Which was it to be? And with whom would I travel?

  I briefly considered running. I looked around and worked through the odds of escape. They had chosen a good place to stop. The clearing was wide and flat. There was a good three miles of nowhere to hide. My skirts were heavy and even if they weren’t there was no way I could’ve outrun Askel or the guards he had brought to reach the forest rim. They knew it too, that’s why I had been left unchained.

  We walked towards to the mouth of the quarry, leaving the cart behind with one of the guards.

  Askel lead the way, no deferential holding of my elbow now. I was not to be escorted, but to be lead. He walked in front while the guards pushed at me to hurry from behind. The ground was crushed gravel, it crunched under our feet. The only sound in the silence of the
clearing. The walls of the quarry loomed in front of us; we walked a good fifteen minutes before coming under their shadow. The ground became rockier here; I had to look down to watch my step. I gripped my skirts in one hand and held out the other for balance.

  Because I looked down I did not see him, and I was not prepared for the voice. The laugh. It chilled me.

  I knew it at once. My head shot up, I almost lost balance. The guard behind stopped me from falling with the butt of his lance.

  “I told you it was not over Talia.”

  Bandar.

  Behind his vicious smile stood my Uncle and four guards in the colors of Hawthorne Shire.

  I stepped back. Escape. Escape. The need to flee echoed in my head, surged through my veins. Run. I had to run. Now. I stepped back into the arms of Askel’s guard. He held me fast, one arm cinching my chest. I struggled. The bandage at my back rubbed at the newly tattooed skin. Newly tethered skin.

  Tether. The remembrance chilled me enough to still my struggle.

  They could not mean Bandar. No. I was not to be tethered to him.

  “No. No.”

  Bandar laughed again. The sound echoed off the quarry walls surrounding me.

  Chapter 8

  “No. No. Not you. Never you.” I could not stop the words. They gushed from me in shock.

  “Gag her.”

  Askel raised a hand to Bandar. “She is not to be harmed.”

  “I’ll be less inclined to harm the bitch if I can’t hear her.”

  Askel flinched, looked at me with brief flash of regret and then nodded. Bandar’s guards came forth and wrapped tight a length of cotton around my mouth. I bit into it, closed my eyes and fought the urge to weep. I would not give him that. I would not cry.

  “You know the agreement.”

  “We do indeed,” my Uncle spoke now, a supercilious bluster I thought I would never have to hear again.

  A sound I thought Roth had saved me from.

  Roth. I had not thought of him for days.

  How I wanted him now. To reach forward, extend his fangs and rip the throats from these men. Feed from their thick red blood until they were lifeless. Anger coursed heavy and hot through my veins. My skin crackled with the heat of my hate.

  Askel spoke, “The Tether must be done at the next full moon. You have assured me you have the means to make her agree. If you do not the Tether can be enacted but it will not be as powerful. Malchard needs her at full power.”

  Malchard? Beatrix’s Chosen? He hated the Sarran. Had hunted them for years. Why would Haakon and Audhild deal with him?

  Bandar stepped forward. He was preened to perfection as usual. A shining peacock in his knee high black boots, buff breeches and brocade red waistcoat. A perfect tailored façade disguising the filth beneath.

  He walked a tight circle around me, moving closer with each ring. Never touching. Even so I flinched. He laughed.

  “Talia, Talia, Talia—where is your Dark Master now? Too bitter for his taste were you bitch?”

  I bit down on the gag.

  Bandar moved before me, flicked his hand at the guard who untied the gag. Askel came to stand behind him. I looked over Bandar’s shoulder into his eyes. He met my eyes and started slightly.

  “Answer me. Are you all alone Talia? Where is your precious Dark Master?”

  “Hunting you to rip out your throat.”

  The blow came fast. It was not unexpected and as strange as it sounds I was almost grateful for it. I’d rattled him. Angered him already. Angry Bandar was stupid, more prone to be rash. The more angry he was, the more unsettled, the better chance I had to outthink him.

  I laughed and spat the blood from the blow hitting his pristine white neck cravat. He raised his arm again but this time he was too slow, Askel caught his wrist. “No harm. Remember the deal. Malchard wants her unharmed for the tethering.”

  I laughed again, Bandar’s deal was a fool’s one. “There is no way I will tether unharmed. Beat me bloody, I still will not concede.”

  “She will agree,” Uncle Hawthorne spoke.

  I met his eye and spat once again, blood spraying on the rock floor. “Never.”

  “Never Talia? Are you sure?” Bandar sounded too certain. Cold washed over me. What did he know? What did he have?

  I looked between my Uncle Hawthorne and Bandar. Bandar gave a tight smile and nod. Hawthorne gestured to a guard who moved forward. With my sister.

  “Leia.”

  Nausea gripped me, washing over me threatening to empty my stomach right there on the quarry floor.

  My sister. My sweet little sister.

  Leia was bound at the hands. Her mouth gagged. Too tight, I could see how it bit into her soft skin. Her pale hair was dirty and mussed. At sixteen she still had the slight frame of a much younger child. Lung sickness stunted her growth, she appeared as if a porcelain doll. A tiny perfect doll.

  “No. Uncle Hawthorne please, no.” I did not bother to appeal to Bandar. I would find no mercy there. There was no mercy to be found in his black soul. But my Uncle, as pompous and foolish as he was had never been an overtly cruel man. Surely there was some measure of compassion to which I could appeal.

  “She does not need to be hurt Talia. She will not be hurt. If you agree.”

  “Agree.”

  “To the tether. Come with us to Lord Malchard. Be tethered freely and your sister will not be harmed. I swear it.”

  “And if I don’t?”

  “I get her.” Bandar had moved to stand with my sister. He released her gag. She coughed. He cupped a hand at the base of her head, roughly angling her to look at him, his mouth a sliver away from kissing her.

  From where I stood I could see her shake. She trembled in his arms, terrified.

  “I have no choice,” I whispered, the implication of those words seeping black into my soul.

  “Either way I win. You refuse to tether I get you and your sister. You tether and I get the joy of watching you submit.” Bandar’s tongue snaked out, reptilious and slithering, and ran the length of my sister’s perfect doll mouth.

  It was more than I could bear. “STOP!” The quarry shook with the bass of my roar. A tumble of rocks fell from behind Bandar. He glanced over his shoulder in confusion.

  The power I had let flow into my voice drained away quickly with the realization that I did not know how to harness it. I could not lash out at the risk of my sister.

  “Let go of my sister. Do not touch her and I will go with you to Malchard.”

  Hawthorne nodded. Bandar did not move.

  “Get him away from her. I swear it Uncle, if he touches her you will get nothing from me.”

  My Uncle nodded once more and turned to wave a dismissive hand at Bandar. Bandar left, but not before coming to me and voice lowered saying, “He cannot watch her all the time. I will have you both before this is over.”

  I lunged, fueled by fury, ready to gouge his filthy eyes from his head. The guards seized me before my nails made contact. Bandar laughed. I squealed a desperate sound of rage.

  “Gag her,” he said through laughter before leaving me struggling in the arms of Askel’s guard.

  * * * *

  I was still gagged when Askel came to find me. From the look in his eyes I gathered he wanted absolution. He would find none here. He had chosen his path, if it hurt to walk it that was not my concern. Let him suffer.

  He came behind me and released my gag. I reached up and pressed my fingers to the sore sides of my mouth.

  “I’m sorry,” he said as he sat beside me on the rock floor.

  “I’m sure you are.”

  “Talia, I didn’t know. I didn’t…”

  “You didn’t care to know. As long as you didn’t you could sleep well. How exactly did you think they would make me agree to be tethered to Lord Malchard? With rainbows and chocolate?”

  He snorted out a desperate laugh and sank his head into his hands.

  “Sweet Mother. I’m sorry.”

  I
gave a half hearted dismissive wave and turned my head away from the sight of him. “Be sorry elsewhere. I have enough without the stench of your guilt Askel.”

  “It’s for the best. You’ll see Talia. You’ll see.”

  “Will I? What will I see? Please tell me of the grand outcome of my great sacrifice. I wish to know what is worth the safety of my sister and my liberty?”

  “Haakon and Audhild have negotiated a treaty with the Queen. Lord Malchard has agreed to allow the Sarran to live once more in Vandarra. We will be free.”

  “With me as the price.”

  “Yes.”

  “Fools.”

  “It will mean we no longer have to hide.”

  “You bargain your freedom by giving the Devil more power. What exactly, Askel do you think that Malchard and Beatrix will do with that power? Protect the Sarran? Bestow more rights on the humans?”

  I watched him slowly digest my words. Did he hear the truth of what I spoke? He said nothing. Just sat. Frustrated, I waved him away. “Go Aksel. Go back to your Sarran and prepare for your glorious short lived freedom.”