They were both oblivious to the fact they were in the open and anyone could see them. Just as well there was nobody else about.
When they pulled apart, she bent her head and breathed a kiss on his neck. “Sweetest Adella.” He whispered into her hair. “I - I think I love you,” he said.
She looked up to gauge the truthfulness of his words by trying to read his expression.
“I've never met any woman like you. You're so beautiful, so perfect. I don't think you realise how perfect you are.”
She met his gaze, and had never been so happy before. His words were what she longed to hear.
“Perfect. You used that word twice, but I assure you, I am far from perfect. Just ask my mother.” She took hold of his hand and he closed his fingers rounds hers. “It is you who are perfect.”
He shook his head in disagreement, but was smiling all the same. Then his face became serious, “If you ask my father, he will tell you that I am the worst of men.”
“Well, I will have to set him straight on that matter then. I have admired you since the moment I first saw you. Couldn't you tell? These last few weeks I have been unable to stop my feelings from growing into something much stronger. To know you feel the same warms my heart and I do not think anything could quash it. Except you yourself of course.”
He lifted her hand and kissed the palm. “That will not happen. I know it. You have entered my heart and there is no escape for you now.”
They walked back hand in hand, and at each kissing gate Joseph would make Adella pay a toll; a kiss.
As they approached Sidmouth, Adella became more serious.
“Joseph. I think we ought to keep our feelings a secret for the time being. Mr and Mrs Waters frown upon any fraternising between the staff and I have to keep earning money for my mother and father.”
He stopped, and pulled at her hand. It made her turn around to face him. “How am I going to be able to restrain myself from kissing you when we are back at Brayfern?” He was smiling, but there was a serious tone to his voice.
“You will have to bear it, as will I! However hard it may be.”
“Then I will take my share now,” and he drew her to him and kissed her again.
That evening as usual they spent in the schoolroom. But this time they sat next to each other, and Adella found she could not sew; Joseph would not let go of her hands.
“It has been agony with you night after night, wishing I could kiss you, and touch you,” Joseph said.
“It has?”
“Yes. Could you not tell how much I looked at you. Whenever you are in the room, I find it hard to look at anything or anyone else.”
His smile made her pulse race. “Joseph,” she sighed, “Such sweet words you speak to me.”
“I mean everyone of them.”
When Adella retired to her chamber, she was so happy, so content. But she knew they must to be discreet. Her Father was almost well enough to return to work, but it would still be weeks until that happened. She could not risk being dismissed. She could not but feel that they had been thrown together somewhat, but what good luck that he was hired as Harry's tutor and not some other worthless man. Adella could think of nothing except how warm and tender he was in every way. He never behaved too inappropriately. Indeed, she was glad of it, and it was what she expected of him.
She loved above all else being able to touch his face, his hands and sit close to him. It was a kind of intimacy that she only dreamt about, but thought could never happen to her. It opened a floodgate. She felt elated, alive and cherished.
From then on, they were normal attentive employees during the day, but every evening they would continue to sit together, to speak, read and talk and at the end of the night before they parted Joseph would kiss Adella goodnight.
Occasionally, they would have half a day or a whole day to spend together, and would make up some excuse to leave the house separately, and then meet in secret. Sometimes it was in Sidmouth, but mostly it was in the surrounding countryside. When she looked back, Adella knew that it was a very indiscreet way to behave. But her feelings were so strong that though she knew she was behaving like a love sick girl, she was acting from the heart. It was like a tide, pulling her in regardless.
Barely a month later, there was a dance in Sidmouth for all servants and employees in the area. Joseph and Adella were to attend and Mr and Mrs Waters kindly lent their carriages to carry their servants.
The dance was held in a large marquee in the cliff top gardens and Joseph and Adella danced all but one dance together. Adella loved every second of it and Joseph was a changed man from the nervous quiet one who came to work at Brayfern four months previously. He was talkative, attentive and vibrant. She had never seen a man look so alive as he was that night.
When the dance finished, they both made their way back to Brayfern in one of the carriages. Adella helped the grooms with the horses before she returned to the house. As she was leaving the stable block and heading back towards the house, she heard her name being called.
“Adella.”
She looked around in time to see Joseph's smiling face peeping around the corner of the stables.
She walked back, turned the corner and found him waiting. He was leaning against the wall, but his whole demeanour was agitated. He came towards her, and grabbed her arm, pushed her against the stable wall and kissed her with such force and passion that her breath was taken away.
“Joseph, are you drunk?” she managed to say when he finally released her.
“I have never been more sober in my life,” he said looking into her eyes.
He kissed her again, then broke away and said, “Adella, I love you. Say you'll marry me. Say you'll be mine, I could not bear life without you now.”
She looked into his eyes, inquisitive, yearning. Willing her to say yes. His smile now gone; he waited for her to answer.
Chapter 5
“Yes,” she said. “Yes, I'll marry you,” she replied immediately. It was an easy question to answer. She had known what her answer would be if he asked. For a moment she thought she was dreaming.
She flung her arms around his neck and he pulled her into a tight embrace. Then he spun her round and laughed aloud.
“You said yes!”
“Shhh. Someone will hear us!” she giggled.
“Soon there will be no secrets. Soon we can tell the whole world,” he whispered and kissed her again.
The next day, Adella was walking on air. She couldn't believe that she was going to be a married woman soon. She looked at her hand and imagined a ring on it, and how it would sound being called Mrs West. At breakfast in the schoolroom with the children, Joseph and Adella exchanged smiles and knowing glances. Earlier she worried that he may have regretted asking her, but one look at him allayed all her fears. His face wore a soft smile. One she knew well, and his eyes seemed to pierce through to her heart. It was as though he could read her every thought.
That night, Joseph was a little quiet. As usual, they sat together in the schoolroom, and Adella glanced often at him and wondered whether she should ask him what she feared the most; that he regretted his proposal. He had been silent like this before, but it never lasted this long.
“I wish I could buy you an engagement ring, but I can't afford one at the moment,” he said at last.
“I do not need one,” she spoke quickly, secretly relieved that that was the reason for his quietness. “I really do not care about a ring.”
“You deserve the finest jewels. Are you sure you do not mind?”
She laid aside her sewing, “Do you really think such a thing matters to me? I am happy beyond words that you wish to marry me. I - I would prefer to have a wedding ring. I am not sure how much they cost, but we could buy one together? I have some money saved– ”
He took hold of her hand. “I promise you, you shall have a wedding ring. A gold one and I will buy it myself, if I can't I know my best friend Frederick would lend me the money.”
/> She smiled, “Very well. But gold wedding rings are not cheap. Any will be sufficient. Please, do not fret about a gold one.”
“Hmm we will see. Will you not mind living on a tutor's salary?”
“So that is what troubles you, is that why you are so quiet?”
“You could tell?”
“I knew something wasn't right. I know you well enough already,” she said her eyes full of love for him.
“You have not answered my question.”
She stood up, “Well, I need at least 20 dresses a year, fifty pairs of shoes to replace the two I own myself, and if I do not have a house that has at least fifteen bedrooms then I will be very disappointed!”
He laughed at her as she sat down next to him, and took his hand.
“Joseph, all I need is you. I have never wanted to be rich, only happy, and you make me so very very happy that I can't find the words to express it. It's like I have always known you and when I look to the years ahead; the years we will share, my heart is full of gladness.”
“Mine is too. I have never been happier than these last few months. Who would have thought that a woman such as you existed in the world.” He let go of her hand only to gently stroked her cheek, “You have no pretence, no falseness, you just want to share my life.”
His hand slid down and he cupped her chin. He drew her in and kissed her, sealing their promises.
***
For the next month, they planned their future together. They were both eager to marry quickly, Joseph more so than Adella. This surprised her, she thought there would be at least a period of a year for their engagement. She knew they could not afford an extravagant wedding, but after a bit of thought, she realised that the notion of waiting that long was something she saw happen to her friends. There was no reason to wait if they didn't want to.
She couldn't help but think on occasion that Joseph's eagerness to marry lay in his passion. He was at times fervent, and Adella was forced to put a stop to his ardent kisses on more than one occasion. In fact, how quickly they could marry was all he spoke of some evenings. They agreed that once his time at Brayfern was over, they would have to spend time apart while he sought full time employment. But he was confident that he would find a position quickly. She was anxious about them being parted. She could not bear the thought of him leaving, and although she offered to come with him when he left, he declined. It was for practical reasons than anything else. They could not afford the rent of two separate rooms, so, as soon as he found employment, she would quit Brayfern and go to him. Then they would be married immediately. He was to make sure that the Banns were read before she arrived, or he would obtain a special licence. Everything was settled and planned for.
One afternoon, Adella had been out for a long walk with Mary. When they arrived back and were settling down for tea in the schoolroom, Daisy, one of the maids, rushed in.
“There is such a turmoil downstairs,” she was out of breath from having run up the stairs and gasped a few times.
“What is it?” Adella said standing up.
“Oh Miss Maxwell, the whole house is in disarray! A gentleman arrived in ever such a grand carriage about two hours ago. He walked in on Mr and Mrs Waters taking their lunch and demanded to see Mr Polwarth. Well obviously nobody knew who he was talking about, there is no one here by that name. The man then said that he worked here as a tutor. 'Mr West you mean' was what Mr Waters said. Anyway, they got Mr West from the study and it turns out the Gentleman is Mr West's father, and his name isn't Mr West – it's Mr Polwarth – Joel Polwarth and they were both locked up in the study for half an hour and when they came out Mr West said he was leaving immediately and didn't have time to pack but would have his things forwarded to his home address in Bedfordshire, which is a really big house and he's really rich and the eldest son too!” She spoke so quickly and without pausing for breath that she panted for a few moments.
Adella stood for a moment silent, her brain took in everything Daisy just said.
“Joseph is leaving?” Adella repeated.
“Yes miss.”
“His father is here?”
“Yes.”
Adella couldn't move.
“Go quickly, before it is too late.” Daisy said and she pushed her towards the door. “They are fetching his father's carriage. They leave in the next few minutes.”
Adella rushed to the door, her mind was all confusion. “Yes, yes, I'll go. Look after Mary for me?”
She didn't wait for and answer, and rushed downstairs and out of the house. Her legs couldn't carry her fast enough. Sure enough, outside there was Joseph stood beside a carriage, waiting to get in. Daisy was right; one quick glance at the carriage showed it was of the best quality.
“Joseph?” she ran up to him.
He turned his head slowly. He was the same man, but not her own Joseph. His face was different; his eyes were cold. Distant.
Finally he spoke.
“Miss Maxwell. I am leaving immediately. It has been a pleasure working with you.”
“Where? Why? Joseph, why are you leaving so quickly? You were not due to go for another four weeks. Daisy said you were going to Bedfordshire. Is that where you live?”
At this, a man; an older version of Joseph, approached. He was taller than Joseph. His hair was grey and his face wore deep frown lines in his forehead. Mr and Mrs Waters followed behind as his father spoke.
“Miss Maxwell, is it?” the man said eyeing her up and down.
“Yes. I am the Governess here.”
“My son is leaving with me immediately. I would thank you not to delay us any further with taking your leave.” His tone was one of unaffected boredom.
Joseph stood still, but was looking away from her, at the carriage.
“Joseph? Please, where will you be going? Home? I do not know where that is. Please, will someone explain what is going on?”
His father spoke again in an angry voice, but this time it was to Joseph, he ignored her.
“Hurry up. I want to leave now.”
Joseph turned to Adella again. “Goodbye Miss Maxwell.”
He started to get into the carriage and she grabbed his arm to stop him.
“But Joseph, is this any way to treat me? Please, just explain. Is this anyway to treat your fiancée?”
At that, he stopped. Father and son exchanged glances.
“Fiancée?” his father repeated, “are you telling me you are betrothed to my son?”
“Yes.”
At that he laughed. “Surely there must be a mistake. Joel, are you betrothed to this governess?” He looked her up and down again with disdain.
Joseph slowly turned to her, his glance clouded, “No. I am certainly not betrothed to her.”
She gasped and managed to stammer out, “Joseph, do you – do you deny me?”
“Miss Maxwell. It has been a pleasure working with you, but I do not understand why you are under the illusion that we are engaged. Perhaps it is because I was friendly towards you, which I see was a mistake, for now you know I am rich, you now think me your fiancé. I will have you know, that I am shortly to be married to a fine lady. Miss Anderson has, as my father has told me today finally accepted my hand in marriage.”
He removed her hand from his arm.
Adella could not speak. Then made one last attempt to reason with him.
“But we are engaged, we have been engaged since the 18th August.”
His father intervened then. “Miss Maxwell do you have a ring?”
“No. Joseph could not afford one.”
At that he scoffed, “You delude yourself, girl! My son could afford the largest diamond any jeweller could provide. Besides which, you do not even know his real name.”
He got in the coach, closely followed by Joseph. They shut the door and his father said, “Mr Waters, I bid you good day and advise you to reconsider who you employ as your governess. Drive on Jones.”
The coach pulled away and Adella and Mr Waters sto
od watching it, the sound of hoof beats echoing in her ears. When it was out of view, Mr Waters turned to Adella. “Miss Maxwell, you will come to the study immediately.”
His face wore a deep frown. She knew he was about to attend to the elder Mr Polwarth's advice. She followed him with nervous steps through the front door, and beyond the hallway to the study. She stood as he seated himself behind his desk. He looked at her with clear scorn and spoke in a cold voice.
“Miss Maxwell, I never thought you of all people would be so mercenary. Do you still claim that you are engaged to Mr West – er Polwarth?”
“Yes.”
“Then I have no alternative than to dismiss you. I cannot have a woman such as yourself here in my house. Why, no wealthy man would be safe to visit here without you claiming something of him!”
She dropped her head, “I understand.” She knew argument would be fruitless.
“Do you have nothing else to say by way of apology?”
“Sir, I cannot apologise for something I am wholly innocent of. If Mr West chooses to deny our engagement there is nothing I can say that will persuade you or anyone else.”
“Then you will leave as soon as you have packed.”
She nodded, and summoned enough presence of mind to beg, “May I leave first thing in the morning? If I leave now, it will be dark for most of my journey and I must travel alone.”
“Very well, but make sure you are gone before breakfast.”
“Yes sir.”
Adella went directly to her room to pack. She knew she must gather her belongings together quickly, but something stopped her. She did not seem to believe what had happened. Surely there was a mistake? Surely, the man she loved, the man who loved her, or at least said he loved her could not act so cruelly. She suddenly felt completely alone, and deep in the pit of her stomach she knew the only thing that could alleviate her pain was Joseph. Yet as each minute passed, he travelled further and further away.
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