“What?” she said defiantly not looking round.
“Thank you for helping my wi-” he paused then continued, “thank you for helping Cynthia.”
She turned round, her face like thunder, “If you wish to thank me then you can start by telling your wife that I am not the liar she thinks I am.”
Comprehension spread on his features, his wife did know more than she let on.
“No?” she said with a wry smile, “I didn't think you would be man enough to tell her the truth. But what does it matter? Since the whole world makes me out to be a liar and fortune hunter, why not her as well?”
There was silence for a few moments as they stared at each other. Adella waited for a reply, and Joel unable to give one. It was broken only by Cynthia calling in the distance,
“Joel, Joel! Has that dreadful girl gone yet? Joel!”
Adella raised her eyebrows and said, “Best go and tell your wife I have gone,” and she turned and ran down the few remaining steps.
But he ran after her and as she tried to open the door he kept his hand on it stopping her.
“You should not care what my wife thinks of you. She knows nothing about you except what she has made up in her mind.”
“Let me out. I do not wish to speak to you.” She spoke in a cool low tone, but she was secretly afraid. She could not let him know it.
“I just want to explain. I promised you I would and I will. Will you turn and look at me?”
“You are going to tell me now?”
“No – I cannot. But I will.”
“So you keep saying. I really do not understand what all the secrecy is. You just wish to hurt me further.”
“I do not. I do not wish to hurt you.”
He was so close behind her she could almost feel his breath on her neck. “Listen to me. I have younger brothers. My father -”
“Your father would not have approved of me. I know that,” she turned round and met his gaze. She continued, '”our father would not have approved of me. I am not stupid. He is right. I am no match for you and I never was. I never will be either. Even after she is dead.”
“You do not understand; my father – he is – I cannot say what he is. But my brothers. They. . .”
“Yes?”
“They are younger than me and need – they need guidance.”
“Guidance?”
“Yes, they would have had nobody to help them.”
“What does that mean?”
“I cannot say anything more. I wish to tell you more, but not now. Now is not the time or place. I have said too much already.”
He stepped away from her and she noticed the sudden distance between them.
“I do not understand why you persist in hounding me at every turn. I have told you that I have moved forward and that I do not wish to speak to you or have anything to do with you. Yet here I am. Stood in front of you. In your house.”
“I am sorry. I will let you leave.”
She turned to the door and let herself out.
It was blessed release for Adella to get out of that house. She paused and swept a glance up and down the street for a sign of Leonard. She would wait outside for he could not be much longer.
She stood under a nearby tree, and tried to look as inconspicuous as possible as she fought to get her composure back. There were a few people about, a family getting into a carriage, a couple walking arm in arm along the street. She exhaled deeply and leant against the trunk of the tree, still shaking.
He had lied even to his wife. Of course he had. She would be the first person he would lie to! The woman was such a fool, so obviously devoted to him, singing his praises and good virtues when he was the biggest deceiver in all of England. They deserved each other. But what of her actually speaking to him? She was determined not to but when it came to it she could not help herself. What did she expect; an apology? For him to stop and beg for her forgiveness?
The cool wind blew on her face and it made her put her bonnet back on. As she was tying it, she noticed a little girl stood on the steps nearby with wide eyes staring at her. She was knee high, dressed in an expensive dark red coat. Her hair was shoulder length with soft dark curls.
“Hello. What's your name?” Adella asked smiling and glad to be distracted from the previous few minutes.
The girl said nothing, but ran over to a man a few feet away and hugged his leg. Adella looked up and her face fell. It was Frederick Garner.
They recognised each other instantly. Mr Garner picked up the girl and said, “Good afternoon Miss Maxwell.”
Adella gave a sharp nod of acknowledgement to him. She was determined not to say anything further or be overly polite. He did not deserve it.
“This little girl is called Sarah.” Frederick said pausing, then continued. “Sarah Polwarth.”
It took a few moments for her to realise what he had said, and what this child represented.
It threatened to overwhelm her.
She walked backwards.
Turned suddenly.
Her eyes filled with un-shed tears and she ran down the street, not pausing to think that Leonard might need her. He would understand, he hated Joel as much as she did.
She ran and vaguely remembered that she should go back to the Alther's. But she did not care now. The look on Mr Garner's face was imprinted on her mind, a mixture of smugness and pride. She shut her eyes trying to eliminate it, but it was no use, it was still there.
He had a child.
She continued on relentlessly, breathless and hot. If she passed people, she did not see them. They were a blur.
It was only when she reached her front door that she stopped. The key would not fit in the lock, her fingers trembled too much. She threw it down in disgust and slumped on the step and sobbed uncontrollably.
Chapter 12
Joel slowly turned back and made his way to his wife's room. His legs dead-weights leading him unwillingly away from the path his heart was urging him to take. He knew when they arrived in Bath that things would get worse, but he had not anticipated his first meeting with Adella would awaken the fierce love that had lain dormant for so long. Each time he saw her his whole body cried out to tell her the truth. To speak tenderness and warmth. To run after her and hold her in his arms and never let her go.
But he had to wait.
As he paused in the doorway to Cynthia's room he quickly buried such overwhelming urges. Instead, he reminded himself of the vows he made to his wife on their wedding day, and reluctantly moved forward. He couldn't allow himself to be weak now. Not after all this time. There wasn't much longer left.
“Well? Has she gone?” Cynthia said when he finally walked in.
“Yes.” He said in a low tone.
“Good. I can't stand her. Why did it have to be her who came to help me?”
Joel moved forward and sat on the bed. He looked directly at his wife, “You are too ungrateful. Miss Maxwell did not have to come and help you, and all you do is criticise her.”
She turned her nose up indignantly. “My arm aches so much! Where is Doctor Preston? I need him.” She looked at the bandage on her arm, “I am sure this is tied too tightly and the cut hurts terribly. I want my maid. Make yourself useful for once and ring for her.”
Joel stood up quickly and sighed, “I am sure Dr Preston will be here soon. Try and be patient.”
He walked down to his study, unable to spend a second longer with Cynthia. She was a witch today. He needed time alone to think over seeing Adella again. If Cynthia wasn't ill, he would have confronted her about how she knew about Adella. But he could not argue with her, sick, dying woman that she was. He had certainly not told her himself and the only other person who knew was Frederick.
Frederick wouldn't betray him.
But one other thought crossed his mind. It was possible she had seen his pictures of Adella, painted when they were in Sidmouth. Adella was not changed that much since then. Her eyes still the most beautiful dark brown e
yes and her hair was still dark and full with the odd curl escaped in much the same way as he remembered. But there was an unmistakable sorrow in her eyes now. He saw it the first moment his glance fell on her beautiful face, and he knew he had caused that anguish.
A few minutes later the study door was flung open. In ran Sarah, with Frederick right behind her. Joel lifted her up into his arms.
“Hello my sweet girl,” he said into her hair.
“Is Cynthia alright then?” Frederick asked.
“Yes. She is resting, though I do not think she will be happy until Doctor Preston arrives.”
Frederick rolled his eyes. “She is never happy unless there is a doctor attending her.”
“She is not always happy then.”
Frederick gave a small laugh, “Indeed, Doctor Preston has the patience of a saint to put up with the likes of her. Do you think she is the most troublesome patient he has?”
“Maybe she is,” Joel said smiling a little.
“Well I shall ask him when he arrives. . .”
“You will do no such thing!”
“Very well, but it will be on the tip of my tongue when I see him. I hope you realise how much restraint it will take.” He suddenly became more serious. “Joel. I saw Adella a moment ago, what was she doing here?”
“She was helping Cynthia, bandaging her arm, why?”
Frederick glanced at Sarah.
“Oh,” Joel said looking at his daughter.
“It was unavoidable I am afraid, we happened upon her outside the house, and she asked who Sarah was, I had to answer her.”
Joel rubbed his brow with his hand, “How did she react?”
“How do you think?”
“I assume she did not know of Sarah before then?” Joel asked as he walked to the window.
“No, her reaction was. . .well, she was upset, I could see it in her eyes. She ran off quickly.”
Joel stood silently. Looking out of the window yet he saw nothing of the street outside. Her eyes always did express what she was feeling.
He wanted to keep Sarah's existence a secret from her. Why, he did not know, but he knew she must feel the betrayal even further by Sarah's existence in the world. He wasn't ashamed of his daughter, well, not exactly. It was just that he always wished that her mother was Adella. He clenched his fist and felt the hardness of his nails digging into his palms. No pain he could feel could compare to hers right now. Finally, his reverie was broken by Frederick speaking.
“You should not feel too bad. It was inevitable that she would find out.”
Joel turned his head slowly, but he could not meet Frederick's eye. “I suppose you are right. But I cannot help thinking how I would feel if our positions were reversed and I had found out that she was mother to another man's child.”
“It may well happen yet unless you act quickly.”
He lifted his head and this time held Frederick's gaze.
“No,” he said. But there was self-doubt in his voice.
“You cannot fool yourself to believe that she will save herself for a man she thinks cares nothing for her, who treated her -”
“Enough!” Joel shouted, and the sudden outburst of anger made Sarah start to cry. Joel picked her up again and spoke soothing words, rocking her. “We must not argue in front of Sarah, I will not have her upset. She is too precious to me.”
Frederick said nothing, but went to the desk and sat silently as Joel calmed and distracted Sarah. They were interrupted by a knock on the door. It was the nurse maid who took Sarah away.
After only a brief pause Frederick resumed his onslaught, “The only way to truly prevent Adella from marrying some unworthy fellow, is to marry her yourself as quickly as possible. Tell her now.”
“No. It's not right. I may not love Cynthia, but I am not a fiend, or an adulterer.”
“Really? Doesn't it say in the bible 'anyone who even looks at a woman with a sinful desire of wanting her has already sinned in his heart.'”
Joel said nothing.
Fredrick continued, “She would make an excellent mother to Sarah, and then there would be your own children too.”
“Stop it!” Joel said firmly. “Just stop it Frederick!” His breath was heavy. “I know she would make an ideal mother to Sarah. You know how much I long to marry her. But you forget – I know her and I know she would never lower herself to become my mistress. When I am free from the shackles of my marriage I will tell her and not before.”
“You are a fool.” Frederick said with a cool note of disgust in his voice. “You need to give her time to adjust to the truth.”
“So you keep telling me.” Joel stared at Frederick for a few seconds and then left the study.
***
Some distance away, Adella still lay sobbing in a crumpled heap on her doorstep. Her mind awash with thoughts of the same little girl. That beautiful child, so innocent. She should have been their child. It was her eyes that haunted Adella, she had his eyes.
Of course she knew they were married, children were a natural consequence of it. But it still cut deep. Seeing their marriage announced in the paper five years ago was one thing, but seeing first hand their child was another. However much she tried to reason and excuse her deep emotions and rise above the mortification and betrayal, she could not. She tried not to blame the child, or hate her. That sweet innocent little girl who looked so like her father. Her tormented mind continued until she felt a hand on her shoulder.
“Adella?” a familiar concerned voice said.
She looked up, a little startled, then focused her eyes on the woman's face.
Flora.
“Adella. What is wrong? Why are you crying here?”
“I – oh Flora!” Adella said trying to stand up, but it was no good, she could not get up. Flora crouched down and put her arm around her.
Eventually as the sobbing started to subside, Flora lifted her up and, seeing the key on the ground, opened the door and led her inside.
Arm in arm, Flora took her to the kitchen, sat her down and put the kettle on the cooker. “What you need is a nice cup of tea. That will make you feel much better, and you can tell me everything.”
Adella managed to smile a little and nodded.
It was nearly two hours later when Flora, still in the kitchen, heard the front door open. She knew it would be Leonard, and hurried herself out to the hallway to meet him.
“Flora! What a pleasant surprise.”
Flora's heart leapt, and she lost concentration for moment as she tried to suppress a blush, “Good afternoon Doctor Preston. I, I have been helping Adella. . .she, oh dear, she was upset earlier. Something happened. . .”
A concerned expression spread over his face, “Where is she? Is she alright?”
“She is resting upstairs. I took her up there myself, but not before she told me some things –” she dropped her voice, “things about Mr Polwarth.”
Leonard sighed.
“So it is all true?” Flora asked reading the expression on his face.
“Yes. It is true. But something must have happened earlier for her to be so upset. What Mr Polwarth did five years ago is old news.”
Still with a serious countenance, Flora continued, “Adella tended to Mrs Polwarth's cut, and she was by all accounts rude to Adella. It appears she knows about her and Mr Polwarth, or rather that there was a history between them.”
“But that would not upset her so much, Adella can stand up for herself. Did something else happen?”
“Yes. She was outside and saw their daughter, that is what has upset her the most. She said she was being silly, reacting the way she has, but she told me everything that happened in Sidmouth and I must say, she has been very brave over the whole thing. Far more than I could ever have been.”
“I am sure that is not true!” Leonard exclaimed.
Flora smiled and lowered her head in embarrassment at Leonard's steady gaze.
Upstairs, Adella did not hear the conversation below.
She could not sleep, though nervous exhaustion racked her body. How much more could she take? She wished Joel and his awful wife out of Bath. This was her home, he had invaded it by his presence. Had he chosen this town specifically? And why had he procured her brother to be his wife's doctor? He knew from five years ago what his name was, he must have done it on purpose.
Bitterness gripped her and every muscle in her body tensed as she held onto the feeling. All she wanted was release from the sadness that engulfed her. She thought she had managed to move on. She thought she would be able to cope with him being so close. But now she was not sure. She was happily settled in Bath and her life had purpose. Helping Leonard and the sick was dear to her heart. How could he come into her life now that she had forgotten him. Only occasionally did her thoughts stray to her 'unmentionable betrayal'.
She heard a knock at her bedroom door, and though she did not respond, Leonard and Flora came in.
They approached tentatively, Adella was lying facing away.
“Flora is about to leave,” Leonard said.
“Oh,” was the quiet response.
Flora took a step forward, “Adella, if you need me again, you only have to ask. I – I understand how difficult it is for you now and how much you need a friend. I have had a similar disappointment myself you know. When you are feeling better I will tell you all about it.”
Leonard's eyebrows raised in surprise at Flora's words, but he said nothing.
Adella turned round briefly and took Flora's hand, “Thank you. You don't know what that means to me.”
Flora took her leave. Leonard followed and showed her out, and returned to Adella a few minutes later.
“She told you what happened today then?” she said.
“Yes. We had a brief conversation downstairs. She has offered to run your errands for a short while, until the Polwarth's have left Bath. What do you think?”
Adella turned round, and sat up quickly, looking at her brother's face, she sighed, “I think that would be an excellent idea. She does not mind doing it then?”
“Not at all, she offered actually, and well, I said I would speak to you first. But it would be a temporary arrangement. Just until they are gone.”
Sprig of Thyme Page 15