Yet now he wanted to marry her again and she wasn't sure what she wanted.
Could she forgive him? After all this time to know why he abandoned her , denied her. It was an anti-climax. Damn the day she ever met him.
The worst of it was that he was going to try and hide his brother and daughter for her. She should feel flattered he loved her so much he was willing to go to such lengths. But she only felt guilt. Guilt because he was using her as an excuse.
All those wasted years. All those years of thinking she did something to make him leave and yet it was not her fault.
Sometime later she heard the afternoon post arrive. It was unusual for letters to arrive so late, but she made her way down in a haze. The writing on the envelope she immediately recognised; her fathers.
Quickly she opened the letter. Her mother was ill and could Leonard spare her for a few weeks while she recovered? Her fathers words did not alarm her as they normally would. She was strangely numb to her mother being ill. She would go of course. Family duty came above all else.
Family duty.
It was what drove Joel away from her, and it drove her away from him now.
She went back upstairs and to the washstand, poured out some water and washed her face. She wanted to remove any trace of Joel Polwarth that still lingered on her lips. She pressed the cloth hard on her mouth to wipe away the feeling left from his harsh stubble. Then she gathered a few clothes and other belongings together, and packed them in a large carpet bag.
Before she left, she sat at her desk and wrote three separate letters in a swift hand. Then, from the bottom drawer of her bedside table took out a small parcel wrapped in cloth. Pulling back the wrapping to reveal a small leather-bound volume, 'Alroy by Benjamin Disraeli' was the title on the spine. The book fell open to where a neatly folded handkerchief marked the page. The handkerchief was still white and clean considering the amount time it was hidden. It was more than five years since the night before Joel left Sidmouth with his father.
Adella recalled the night she had felt her arm being shaken gently, and someone quietly calling her name.
“Adella. Adella.”
She opened her eyes slowly, “I'm sorry Joseph. Did I fall asleep?”
“Yes,” he smiled, 'but it has been a long day. And you will insist on embroidering my initials on all of my handkerchiefs. Even though it is not necessary.”
“I have not finished this one yet, look only the 'J' is done.” She held up the cloth, “I will have to do the 'W' tomorrow.”
He took hold of her hand, slid it into hers, and gently squeezed it. “Do you not find Alroy an interesting story?” he asked.
“Not really. You do?” She took the book out of his hands, neatly folded the handkerchief and placed it between its pages.
“Yes. I think it an underrated novel.”
“Well, we cannot expect to like all the same things, and agree on everything. When we are married, I do not think we will be one of those couples that always argue. But at the same time, I think it would be very dull if we agreed on everything.”
He smiled again and looked away, but not before Adella noticed a distant expression in his eyes, one that she was no stranger to now. Then, wishing him to turn back she said, 'I suppose I ought to go to bed. I have a busy day tomorrow. I am taking Mary out for a long walk. She seems to have a lot of excess energy these last few days. I think it is all the sugar her mother keeps feeding her.”
He turned to face her, his brows furrowed, “You should tell her to stop giving her sweets, it is not her who has to deal with the consequences. I hate to see you treated in such a way.”
Adella smiled, “Your concern for me is very touching.”
“Good, because I mean it all. Once we are married, you will not have to put up with it any longer. We will have our own children to look after, not other peoples.”
“You will still have other peoples children to teach,” Adella said.
“True.”
Adella yawned, “I must go to bed now.”
“Very well,” he said, “but I will not let you go until you have kissed me to apologise for falling asleep while I was reading to you.”
“I will have to fall asleep more often. . .” But any further words were stopped short by his kiss.
But that was over five years ago. Adella stroked the embroidered 'J' with her thumb. She never did add the 'W'.
With a deep sigh, she placed the handkerchief back inside the book and quickly covered it up again with the cloth. After placing it inside her bag she picked up the letters, took one final look around her room and closed the door behind her.
As she walked past Leonard's door again, she silently slid a letter underneath it then paused, arrested by a pang of guilt. But she managed to move, and walked downstairs. Any regrets were snuffed out by the memory of his refusal to tell her what she wanted to know. She went quickly and quietly from room to room in search of anything she needed to take with her, determined now that nothing would stop her leaving. Before a few minutes were up she was out of the house and on her way. She stopped briefly at the post office, then hurried on to the train station. She paced the platform, back and forth several times as it filled up with other passengers. Half of Bath were travelling to London it seemed.
She did not have to wait long for a train. There was one that left fifteen minutes after she bought her ticket, such luck she had not seen for so long. After she boarded the second class carriage the train stood annoyingly at the station for longer than she wished. There was a worry in the back of her mind that Leonard may have woken and come after her. She was determined to go even if he did turn up – indeed he could not argue with her, she was going to nurse their mother. Only when she heard the whistle and the train started to move away did she relax.
***
Leonard rang the door bell of South Parade and was directly shown up to the drawing room. He was breathless as he walked in. Joel and Frederick were seated in armchairs.
He was greeted warmly by both of them.
“Did Adella come and see you this morning?” Leonard asked.
Joel nodded.
“I knew it! What happened? Because she has left Bath! All I have is a short note telling me where she has gone.”
“Gone?” Joel exclaimed. “But I never expected her to leave. She said she needed space. But are you sure she has left?”
“What did you say to her?”
“I told her everything. I asked her to marry me. She said she would think about it. Damn it. How can she run away?”
“She has only done what you did to her,” Leonard said in a flat tone.
“Yes. You are right. But she's really gone?” Joel said, his expression stilled and grew serious. “Fled Bath because of me?”
“She has gone to Aylesbury to our mother and father.”
Leonard handed him the note and Joel devoured its contents in one glance.
L,
I have gone to Mother and Father. While you were asleep, a letter from father arrived asking me to nurse mother for a short while. Do not worry yourself, father says she is recovering but needs assistance. Besides, I need to get away from Bath and from Joel. I will write when I get there so you know I arrived safely.
A
Frederick took the letter from Joel and quickly read it saying in a sarcastic tone, “She doesn't give much away does she?”
Leonard snatched the letter back. “No. But she is angry with me and she would not have left Bath so quickly and without speaking to me. She knows you told me everything.”
“Ahh yes, that would be my fault. It slipped out when I saw her yesterday,” Frederick said.
Leonard was incredulous, “Slipped out! How can something like that just slip out! You told her deliberately didn't you? You could not tell her, so you told her I knew instead!” he shouted.
Frederick waved his arm dismissively. “What is done is done. Whether intentional or not.”
Leonard struggled to
find the words, “By my honour I didn't breathe a word, though I was a fool not to.” He stood shaking his head for a moment or two, and gathered his tortured thoughts. “She has never hurt anyone in her life, the sweetest, loveliest girl, my own sister.”
Frederick was now a little taken aback by Leonard's anger too, though it amused him somewhat before. Any mirth he felt quickly disappeared when Leonard turned to him. “And you, you are no help either. You told Adella I knew Joel's secret and whether intentional or not.”
Both men stood watching Leonard's outburst.
Joel spoke quietly, “As soon as the funeral is over with we will leave Bath, so you need not worry on that account. I meant what I said before. I want her back, and I will not rest until I have her.”
They were interrupted by a knock at the door. A servant entered, “The evening post sir,” and he handed over a small parcel.
“Thank you,” Joel said taking it and placed it on the side. He glanced at the package, then looked away, but he quickly snatched it up again.
Leonard saw it too. “That's Adella's handwriting.”
They all watched as he opened it. He ripped the brown paper quickly, and revealed a book. Joel turned it over in his hand and pulled out a handkerchief held within its pages. There was a letter with it too. He opened the paper and read it eagerly.
Joel,
I am returning these items to their rightful owner. I always wanted to return them to you and must do so in order to keep my conscience clear. When you read this, I will be far from Bath. I am returning to my mother and fathers house having neglected them long enough. My mother is ill and needs me.
The simple truth is that I will not be rushed into a marriage with someone I know so little. I knew you five years ago, but I have changed so remarkably since then. I think you must have too.
If you still love me as you say you do, then you will wait for me to come to terms with all I have learned today. I cannot say when that will be.
If you are determined not to marry the widow you must refuse because of your own wish to be free from your fathers influence and not entangle me in your escape. I want to remain free to decide my own destiny without being party to your reasons.
I do not know when we will meet again. I think it best at least that you do not attempt to see me until your mourning period is over. Six months is not such a long time.
Adella Maxwell
He clutched the items close to his chest, closed his eyes and muttered inaudibly, “I will finish reading this to you, I promise.”
“What are they?” Leonard asked.
Joel looked up, he held onto them possessively. “It is the book we were reading together the last night we were together in Sidmouth.”
“And the handkerchief?”
“She was sewing my initials on it that same last night.”
Leonard looked enquiringly at them, but Joel still would not give them up, even for the briefest examination.
There was a slight tremble in his voice, “I did not realise she still had these. She's kept them all this time.”
“But why return them? What does she say in the letter?” Frederick asked peering over at the paper in Joel's hand.
Joel handed it to Frederick and then to Leonard.
“She is determined to keep you on tenterhooks,” Frederick commented.
“Yes, but can you blame her?” Leonard asked.
“No, I can't blame her.” Joel said. “She has every right to act in her own interest. However much I hate it.”
Leonard left South Parade not long afterwards and instinctively walked towards the Alther's. Adella deserved better, from him at least. But it was not the fact that she left Bath, Flora was helping him now, and that gladdened him a little. No, he felt bitter regret he could not speak to her before she fled. He would go home, and once there write a long letter to her to try and persuade her to return to Bath as soon as their mother was better. Yes, a break was what she needed, and after a few weeks, Joel and Frederick would be gone, she could return and life could get back to normal.
When he got to the Alther's, he found the place closed as expected. The private bell was not answered either and he rang it several times. So he walked onwards towards his home, and though the light started to fade now, saw in the distance the figure of a woman he instantly recognised.
When they met he smiled, “Good evening Flora.”
Simply seeing her face made everything better, no matter how bad things were.
Flora's face wore a stern frown. “Good evening Dr Preston. I have just been to call on you. My Uncle was with me, but has called on a friend momentarily.” She indicated to the house behind them. She continued, “I received a letter from Adella in the evening post and it has troubled me greatly.”
She took out a letter from her pocket and handed it to Leonard. He took it eagerly. It said very much the same as his own letter, except that she asked Flora to look after Leonard.
Leonard sighed, and handed back the letter. “She wrote to me as well, and told me she was going home,” he said.
“But what else happened today that has made her leave in such haste? She said 'other reasons than my mothers illness drive me from Bath so quickly.'”
Leonard offered Flora his arm and she instinctively took it. “Come and walk with me a little until your Uncle has finished his visit and I will tell you.”
It was a few minutes later that Mr Alther appeared and looked up and down the street saw his niece and Dr Preston. He approached them and they instantly stopped talking, though not before he heard Flora say “I am sure you did what was best.”
“Keeping secrets again?” Mr Alther asked with a small laugh.
“No,” Flora said, “We are sorting out what to do now that Adella has left Bath.”
Mr Alther instantly frowned. “I was sad to hear she has left. I will miss her in the shop. But you must both try and persuade her to come back soon. Who will keep house for you now Dr Preston?”
Leonard and Flora looked at each other, and Flora tentatively spoke, “Well Uncle, in her letter, Adella has asked that I look after Leonard for her. Of course, I cannot keep house for him, it would not be proper, but do you think he could eat his supper with us, for Adella's peace of mind?”
Mr Alther glanced at them both, “Of course, not only for Adella's sake, but Mrs Alther would like the conversation too. She is always saying 'Dr Preston this' and 'Dr Preston that'. You are always welcome in our house.”
Leonard gave a small laugh, “Thank you. But I insist on paying you for my food, I would not want you to be out of pocket due to an extra mouth to feed.”
“Very well, but Flora, you will have to ask Dr Preston what his favourite dishes are so you can cook them for him.”
“I wouldn't want to put you to any trouble Flora,” Leonard said looking down at her.
Flora dropped her eyes from his gaze, “It is no trouble I assure you. It would be a pleasure.”
They parted a few minutes later, and Leonard went home to write his letter to Adella. He posted it first thing the following morning, along with another letter to his mother, telling her to expect Adella. Though he knew she would most likely arrive before it.
Two days later he received the confirmation he hoped for, that she was home. Her letter was short and to the point like her last, it stated she arrived safely but nothing more.
So this was the news that reached Leonard the morning of Mrs Polwarth's funeral. He hoped the ceremony would be over with quickly. Through his work, he often attended funerals, each one a reminder that he wasn't always able to help the ravages of illness. Without Adella at home as support, attending a funeral was not a happy prospect. He thoughts immediately turned to another face, one that could lift his spirits. He would stop off at the Alther's on the way home, on some pretext.
As he approached the small chapel on Wells Road, he saw the mourners already gathered outside. They were all men, which was no surprise as female gentry rarely attended funera
ls. He recognised Joel and Frederick amongst the group and as he approached, Joel saw him and offered him his hand. Leonard instinctively shook it despite his former anger. He came out of duty to his deceased patient, and would play the part.
As Leonard looked at Joel's face, he noticed a deep tiredness wrought across it, despite this, he seemed on edge. “Thank you for coming today, Dr Preston. It means much to me that you would attend, you looked after Cynthia so carefully. I am much obliged to you.”
Leonard nodded, and was about to walk into the church, when a gentleman next to Joel turned around.
Joel cleared his throat, stood aside a little and said, “Allow me to introduce my father; Mr Michael Polwarth,” then, to his father he said, 'This is Doctor Preston, he looked after Cynthia here in Bath.”
Leonard gaped and stared at the older man's hand held out to shake his. It was a well groomed wrinkled hand, and Leonard momentarily forgot himself, before he forced a mental shake and briefly shook it. After he did it, he wished he hadn't. This man, now stood in front of him, who looked like a harmless old gentleman was the cause of his sister's unhappiness for such a long time. Evil came in all guises, and this was the ultimate wolf in sheep's clothing.
Joel's father wore a questioning frown as he studied Leonard's face. Then his countenance changed, a smile of sorts played on his lips, until he spoke in a bright unassuming tone, “I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for looking after my dear departed daughter-in-law. I was exceedingly fond of her, and indeed always approved of my son's choice in marrying her. It is such a shame she has passed on, but at least Joel has a daughter to remember her by.”
Leonard stood incredulous. Such lies, such insolence! But he could say nothing and simply met his piercing blue eyes with an equal steady gaze, challenging him. Mentally telling him with one look that he knew the truth. He hoped the old man could read it.
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