“Always,” Kendall said. “But I still think it's better for you if you can work it out. Hon, she's married to your dad and she's not going anywhere.”
“Maybe.”
“No, my dad told me. He was talking to your dad and he said he'd never been happier, except for you. The only thing that could make it totally great would be if you wanted to be part of it, to start again.”
It was on the tip of Becky's tongue that hell would freeze over first but she knew she couldn't stay here forever and there was good stuff she wanted to talk about. She didn't want to spend her time arguing about Tracy. She would have to deal with her when she got home as it was. “So I guess you got your first spanking, huh?” she said with a giggle.
“So not funny,” Kendall said, although she too was smiling. “You were right though. It cleared the air.”
“See?”
“Yes.”
“I want details,” Becky said. “It's only fair, I always told you.”
“Let's go up to my room then,” Kendall said. “I'm not going to do this out here.”
* * *
Tracy wandered around not really sure what to do with herself. She’d had a nap and had woken up feeling a little bit better but there was nothing to do while she was alone in this giant house. She stood at the window and looked out at the sparkling pool. She would have loved to have a swim, but not knowing where Becky was, she couldn't risk it. If she came back and caught her in a bathing suit with her baby belly showing there'd be hell to pay. Besides, she'd promised Geoff they would tell her together before they went home.
“This is ridiculous,” she said out loud. “We have to eat.” She started rattling through the fridge, looking for some ingredients she could throw together for a meal for her and Becky.
* * *
When Becky finally drove up the driveway she felt a twinge of guilt. It had to be after seven o'clock. Luckily, Ryan hadn't rung. If he found out she'd left Tracy alone all day he wouldn't have been impressed in the slightest. She best get inside and do something about dinner, maybe order a pizza or something.
As she got out of her car and started towards the house, she sniffed. Cooking. Someone was cooking. Tracy. She knew it. Not only did she know where stuff was, she'd helped herself to the whole kitchen and everything in it.
Chapter Five
Tracy smiled when she heard the door open. “HI!” she called from the kitchen. “I hope you're hungry!”
“It wouldn't matter if I hadn't eaten for a week, I wouldn't eat what ever the hell it is that you've cooked.”
“Sorry?” Tracy said.
“You heard me. This is MY kitchen and you have NO right to come in here and help yourself to whatever you want!”
Tracy narrowed her eyes. She'd been trying really hard to ignore all of Becky's little digs because she realized how hard it must have been for her. She'd even tried to put herself in Becky's shoes and she knew she wouldn't have been happy. But this was too much. She'd been stuck in the house all day by herself and all she'd done was prepare a meal. Maybe it was enough of the nice guy.
“Becky you come back here.” she shouted as the younger woman flew up the stairs.
“NO!” Becky shouted back “You can go to hell!”
Tracy threw down the dishtowel she was holding and hurried for the stairs determined to get Becky to talk, to actually talk about her feelings. They would never be able to get past this until they did.
“Becky!” she yelled.
“Fuck off!” Becky yelled back, running down the hall.
“I just want to talk to you, Becky, come on,” she said as she reached the top of the stairs. Becky turned to face her and Tracy almost thought she'd changed her mind. Then the phone rang. Tracy turned and started down the stairs to answer it when Becky came towards her.
* * *
Becky ran past Tracy on the stairs. It was her phone, damn it. Her phone and her house and Tracy wasn't going to step in and stop her from being in charge of her own house.
The world seemed to suddenly run in slow motion as Becky's elbow clipped Tracy's back. Becky stopped and tried to grab her but Tracy lost her footing and tumbled and tumbled, she didn't seem to be able to stop herself and Becky couldn't move the right way. It all happened so fast that by the time Becky reached her she'd hit her head and was lying silently in a crooked heap.
“Tracy!” Becky screamed. “Tracy wake up!” Nothing. The hysterical girl ran to the phone, it was still ringing. She picked it up and talking over the top of whoever it was, she tried to explain what had happened, but her words wouldn't come out straight.
“Fell, Tracy fell on the stairs. Have to go. 911.” Without even waiting to see who it was she hung up and dialled for an ambulance.
* * *
“Becky! Becky?” Ryan said as the phone went dead.
“What's happened?” Geoff asked, by the look on Ryan's face something had happened.
“Tracy's fallen. Becky was hysterical and all she said was Tracy fell. Have to get back there. She must be calling an ambulance.”
Geoff went very pale. “The baby,” he said.
Ryan's eyes widened and his mouth dropped open. “Tracy's pregnant?”
Geoff nodded. “We need to get there. Fast.”
“I'll get us a flight but first we need to let Becky know so she can tell the paramedics.”
Geoff nodded mindlessly. All he could think of was getting back home. He hoped to God that they were all ok.
* * *
Finally, the phone rang again and Becky answered with a tiny voice.
“Hello?”
“What happened, honey? Are you ok? Is Tracy ok?”
Becky burst into tears. “I hear the ambulance,” she said through her tears.
“Good. That's good. Becky you need to tell them something.”
“She fell.” Becky said not really hearing him.
“Becky, you need to listen to me this is important.”
“I tried to stop her from falling,” she said. “I knocked her, but I didn't mean it. I tried to grab her.”
“Becky, no one's blaming you, but listen to me.”
“The siren is getting closer.”
“Good,” Ryan said.
“I tried to stop her from falling,” she said.
“BECKY!” Ryan said sternly.
“Yes?”
Thank God he finally had her attention. “Becky, there's something you have to tell them when they get there.”
“What?”
He hated to say it. He knew that the guilt Becky was already feeling would crush her. But he had to for Tracy and the baby's safety. “Honey, Tracy's pregnant, you need to tell the paramedics.”
“Oh God!” she said and she dropped the phone.
* * *
Becky took Tracy's hand. “Please wake up Tracy, please?” she begged. “I'm so sorry you fell and that I've been so horrible.” She looked down at Tracy's tummy. No wonder she'd put on weight. She really was a terrible person, she thought. Becky sat there on the stairs holding Tracy's hand, half praying, half promising God anything she could think of to make her stepmother wake up.
There was a loud banging on the door and she dropped Tracy's hand while she went to let them in.
“She fell on the stairs.” Becky said. “She won't wake up. She's pregnant.” As she said the words it dawned on her, Tracy was pregnant with her baby brother or sister. Once again, she started to cry. “Please, save her, and the baby.”
“We'll do our best, Mam. She has a pulse, so that's a start,” one of the guys said. “Now just stand back and let us do our job.”
Becky stood at the bottom of the stairs chewing off her fingernails and crying softly. If only she could take it all back from that first day. Ryan had been so understanding and he'd given her space to work it all out, maybe he shouldn't have.
* * *
Tracy struggled to open her eyes but she just couldn't seem to wake up. She could hear Becky crying. There were str
ange men touching her, taking her pulse she thought. She winced as a needle pricked. Her eyes blinked open and she felt cool liquid flowing down her arm, no it was inside her arm, she thought.
“Tracy?” Becky said desperately. “Oh, Tracy, I'm sorry. I bumped you. I didn't mean to hurt you I promise.”
“I know.” Tracy managed to say with a low husky voice. “Accident. Baby?”
“We need to get you to the hospital to answer that question,” the paramedic replied.
“Baby?” Tracy asked more desperately.
* * *
Tears ran down Becky's cheeks and she didn't know what to do or what to say except, “I’m so sorry.” She said those words over and over but she didn't seem to be able to make them mean enough.
As they took her out the door on the gurney, Becky followed. “Can I go in the ambulance?” she asked.
“Of course,” she was told. “You need to turn off what ever is cooking. You don't need a fire on top of everything else.
Becky ran into the kitchen and turned off all the knobs on the stove but that just made her feel even worse. Tracy had prepared her favourite meal.
* * *
Ryan and Geoff had managed to get to the airport and book a small private plane. Geoff hated small planes but he would have grown wings and flown himself if it were possible. All he could think of was getting home.
“Did you try again?” he asked Ryan.
“Yeah. I don't think Becky would have stopped to get her cell. We'll be there within half an hour.” Geoff nodded. “I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to any of them.”
“I know,” Ryan said. “Me either. It'll be fine.” It was a lame thing to say but he really didn't have any other pearls of wisdom. He just hoped that what he said was true.
* * *
Becky wrung her hands when Tracy seemed to pass out again. “She woke up. Why's she asleep again? Is she getting worse?”
“I'm tired,” Tracy said in a husky voice, opening her eyes again and trying to focus.
“That'd be the shock.”
“Oh thank God you're awake.” Becky said with a deep sigh.
“My baby,” Tracy croaked. In her muddled state she hadn't even thought about Becky not knowing about the baby. Then she remembered they already told her to wait until the hospital. Becky was there.
“You know?” she asked.
Shifting Becky out of the way, the paramedic took Tracy's vitals. “No pains?” he asked.
“No. I'm fine,” she said. “You could take this collar off.”
“Sorry, Mam, that'll need to stay on until we get to the hospital.”
Tracy pulled at it with irritation. “Really, I'm fine. I can feel my legs and everything is moving.”
“Yes, I know about the baby,” Becky said.
“Ok then,” Tracy said. “Your dad and I wanted to tell you together. I'm sorry that you had to find out this way.”
“It doesn't matter now,” Becky said. “I probably wouldn't have wanted to tell me either.”
“It wasn't like that,” Tracy said.
Becky's eyes filled with tears. She could see the worry etched on Tracy's face and guilt ate at her. It was her fault. It was all her fault. If she'd had breakfast with Tracy, if she'd stayed home, if she'd just sat down and eaten the dinner that Tracy had made for her. If, if, if. She might not have pushed her but that baby, her little brother or sister was in danger because of her. There was no way she could go back and fix it now. She would deal with her own guilt later.
Becky wiped her face on her sleeve and sat up straight. The paramedic had moved so she was able to move closer to Tracy. She took her stepmother's hand.
“We have to think positive,” she said. “The baby is going to be fine.” Tracy squeezed her hand gently and gave her a weak smile before closing her eyes and drifting off.
* * *
“I see,” Ryan said. This was the first chance they'd had to ring the hospital to check on Tracy. “But she's stable?” Ryan really wanted to have some good news to put Geoff's mind at rest but he wasn't getting anywhere at all.
“Is she there yet?” Geoff said with frustration.
“They have Tracy and she's waiting to be seen by an obstetrician.”
“Well I guess that's something,” Geoff said.
“I know. Hopefully they'll know more when we get there.”
“Let's hope,” Geoff said with a nod.
* * *
Tracy grabbed Becky's hand in an iron grip while the doctor squeezed gel all over her tummy. Becky couldn't take her eyes off Tracy's naked stomach. How could she not have noticed? That was obviously a pregnant belly. She knew she wasn't stupid, just blind and self-centred. “It'll be fine,” she said, trying to reassure Tracy who was plainly so stressed that she looked like she was going to faint.
“Please. Hurry,” Tracy said.
What had seemed like a slow and anxious trip to the hospital was nothing in comparison to this few minutes wait. Waiting for an image of the baby to come on the screen seemed like an absolute eternity to both of them, Becky thought, but mostly Tracy. It was, after all, her baby and she'd already been shaken up by the fall. The fall that she had caused.
“Getting there,” the doctor said, looking at notes and finally flicking the switch that would put them both out of their misery.
Both women took in an audible breath as the machine hummed to life and a blurry picture came on the screen.
“It's moving!” Becky squealed happily when she saw a small jerky movement from a leg and what looked like a waving hand.
Tracy burst into tears. “Oh, thank you!” she said. “It is ok, isn't it?”
The doctor checked for one thing and then another but finally smiled. “Your little baby is doing just fine,” he said. “See the heart beat?”
Becky stared at the screen in awe. “Wow,” she said blinking away her tears, “that really is a little person on there.”
“Yep, it sure is,” Tracy said. “A very special little person.”
“And one that's very stubborn,” the doctor said with a smile. “Luckily for you, those are always the strongest kind.”
Both women burst out laughing.
“It's in the genes,” Becky said.
* * *
“This sounds like a happy room,” Geoff said from the doorway.
“It sure is,” Becky said with a smile. “Tracy and the baby are fine.”
The doctor had alleviated his worry when he filled him in on the prognosis as he was leaving, but finding Tracy and Becky in the same room actually talking, made him almost lose it. The days stress was starting to catch up with him and as he went to speak, emotion made his words catch in his throat.
“Thank God you're ok,” he said. He kissed her forehead tenderly. “Thank you, Beck, for looking after her.” He kissed his daughter’s cheek and wrapped her in a giant hug. “I'm so proud of you.”
* * *
Ryan watched Becky's face and although she was smiling there was something she was hiding. It wasn't anger, it was something else. When her dad hugged her and whispered in her ear he watched as her face fell and tears filled her eyes.
“Becky,” he said holding out his hand to take hers. “Why don't we leave your dad and Tracy to have some time alone. She looks like she needs some rest.”
“Yeah, good idea,” she said. She gave her dad a peck on the cheek and turned to Tracy. “I'm really happy about being a sister,” she said with a smile. “I'm…” she started.
“It's ok,” Tracy said. “It was an accident.”
“I'm, I'm gonna do better, I'll be better, I promise.” Becky said softly.
“Me too,” Tracy said, her own eyes filling as she caught her husband's content
smile.
* * *
“Big day,” Ryan said, still holding Becky's hand in the back of the cab on the way home. “I'm proud of you, you know. What you said to Tracy, that was really nice.”
Becky sighed. “Don't,
” she said.
Ryan frowned. “Don't what?”
“Don't say you’re proud of me.”
“But I am proud of you.” Becky's eyes filled with tears. You don't understand, she thought sadly.
Ryan put his arm around her to comfort her and she cuddled into his side finding a safe warm spot to hide. He knew this wasn't the time or the place to delve further but he was worried about his young wife. Becky was mischievous, forgetful, still not so great with money and she could be as stubborn as all get out but she never acted like this before: so quiet and distant.
“You want something to eat?” he asked her when they were finally home.
“No thanks,” she said. “I think I'll take a shower.”
“Good idea. You might feel hungry after you get comfortable.”
“Yeah,” she said.
* * *
Becky walked up the stairs and she felt sick as she got to the place where Tracy had been laying just a few hours before. She closed her eyes to block it all out: her screaming at Tracy and then shoving past her, watching her tumble down the stairs. She was sure that Tracy's neck was going to be broken. When she thought of how easily the baby could have just slipped away because of her temper and her jealousy, her stomach lurched and she had to run for the bathroom.
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