Then I heard him.
Linus, figment of my imagination though he was, always knew what to do. He started singing Safety Dance in time with the lights, reviving me just enough for a coughed-out laugh. My dad groaned, as he had when Linus and I sang the tune ad nauseum one of the times Linus was confined to the hospital and we missed our high school’s dance. Linus grinned through the strain of the magic flowing through him. Come on, Dad! You can dance if you want to!
Knock it off, Linus! Mom shouted. I’m trying to concentrate! Lucy, don’t let yourself pass out, honey. Hold on!
I gritted my teeth and closed my eyes against the flickering light that predicted my impending doom. Alrik squeezed my hand, and I felt his power flowing through me like warm carbonation popping through my veins.
Baldy climbed out of the hatch, letting a flood of fresh nighttime air into the tunnel that temporarily revived me. An alarm had been triggered, but the finish line was in sight. Goatee lifted me up to Baldy, who laid me down on the green grass next to Jamie. My prince was still unconscious with drool crusted in his beard. Goatee handed the collapsed wheelchairs up to Baldy, and then hefted himself out of the hole. Then the two blue-scrub men set about putting Jamie and I back in our easiest mode of transportation.
My mom thought of everything. Every Easter she would hard boil eggs and have us dye them together to eat in our lunches for the next week. Not many teenagers still dyed eggs, but we were always supercool like that. It was the details that made her awesome. Remembering to put a mint in our lunches the days she packed us tuna sandwiches. Writing little love notes inside the napkins. Today it was the details that kept us going. She whistled the orderlies to run us toward the gas station I saw in the distance. Though it was the dead of night, the neon signs were blinding. My eyes gave my mom only just enough information to go on before they shut involuntarily.
My parents were arguing, which they didn’t do a whole lot of in front of us.
You know I’m right, Hildy! He has to be destroyed. He kept our daughter and let them torture her just as much as the rest of them.
I can’t do it! My mom sobbed. After all he’s been through? How can you ask me to do such a thing?
My dad’s hand reached through the hole and gripped hers tight. He’s a threat to Lucy. Look at what they did to her! Six loved you, but not enough to love what was precious to you. He hurt your only daughter. You have to see that!
My mom paused, and then the whistle changed. You’re right, Rolf. I’ll take care of it. It was a mournful tune that told Goatee to head back to the hole.
Baldy parked our chairs near a minivan that was filling up at the pump. All it took was a few seconds of whistling for the woman to happily invite us into her van and hand us her cell phone.
There was an explosion behind us, and then fire and sparks shot up from the manhole. I cringed against the light, closing my eyes again as Jamie was buckled in.
I was laid on the floor of the minivan, and our chairs were stowed in the trunk. Baldy made a phone call on her cell while the woman drove us toward the freeway. I heard screams in the distance and searched inward for an explanation.
Water conducts electricity, my mother explained, her voice choked up. That’s why I had you flood their coven. They’ll be dead for real this time.
My dad held my mom’s hand to comfort her. I know, Hildy. I know.
I didn’t do it to exterminate a whole race! I didn’t want that! I did it because they kidnapped my daughter! she cried.
My dad comforted my mom, and it was a beautiful thing to watch. I’d missed the sight of his quiet strength, and her drawing serenity from it.
I peeked at my surroundings in the minivan. Jamie was slumped in the backseat, completely limp. I was on the floor in front of the middle bench, since my mom was afraid of me being seen in case any sirens had escaped. Baldy was in the front passenger’s seat, unbuckled as we drove along at a high speed.
The strobe lights flickered more slowly, and I knew that with my ebbing adrenaline, I would be passing out soon.
Lucy, I need you to listen to me. Listen close, honey. I need you to do something for me. It’s Linus. When I crossed over to Undraland, I begged the Mouthpiece to save Linus, to get Pesta to exchange your father and I for him.
I know, I said with bitterness in my tone. And then she took you into Be and Linus died in my arms. Great plan.
I felt my mom’s wince. Pesta didn’t renege. She gave me some of her magic that binds souls. Before Linus died, I used a bit of it on him. I knew he wouldn’t last much longer, so I bound his soul in a vial and got it to your uncle by way of the crematorium. All he knows is that they gave you Linus’s ashes, but it’s not ashes, honey. It’s Linus’s soul.
I had to be hearing things. I couldn’t begin to force her words to make sense.
She hurried on, knowing she had mere moments before our time was over. My spirit’s inside of you, keeping your powers at bay, but Linus’s soul is in the ashes you were given. Please tell me you have the ashes!
Tucker! I cried, frantic. Tucker took my necklace that has the ashes of all my family in it. Linus is in there?
Yes! Good girl, Lucy! That’s wonderful! Linus was never cremated. I only whistled Alrik into thinking he was. I whistled your uncle to steal Linus’s body just after he passed and take it to Undra. He buried it, darling. You need the body and the soul! Find Tucker and get Linus’s soul back. Then take the soul to the body so they can reunite.
What? How?! You have to know how crazy you sound!
My mom paid my disbelief no mind. She was under the wire. I had Alrik bury Linus in Nøkken, fifty paces west of the Salmon Seesaw. Tell me you understand! Take the soul to the body, pour it into his mouth, get an elf to do a bonding charm, and he’ll come back to you. When I didn’t answer through the slow-motion strobe effect, she yelled, Repeat it back to me! I won’t last much longer, Lucy! Once you pass out, the wall will rebuild and my spirit will keep your abilities away from you.
Why, Mom? Why can’t I have the magic you do?
My mom’s voice took on the tone of the last warning before she pulled over the car to give us what-for when we were misbehaving on road trips. Repeat the instructions, Lucy!
Fine! I get the ashes from Tucker, dig up Linus fifty paces west of the Salmon Seesaw in Nøkken. I pour the soul ashes into his mouth, have an elf do a bonding charm, and he’ll come back to life. Now tell me why you won’t let me be like you!
The lights went on in my mind once more, and my mother sighed, holding onto my dad’s hand. She blew out a whistle through me in lieu of answering my many desperate questions.
I opened my eyes. The next thing I saw was Baldy in the front passenger’s seat, opening the door and leaping out onto the freeway.
Then the strobe light faded to black.
Sixteen.
Jens, but Not Jens
I hadn’t possessed the ability to quantify time in… well, not for quite a while. My mom had managed to push out one last burst of a whistle from me to communicate to the civilian we’d kidnapped to stay with us, just before I passed the smack out.
I hadn’t dreamt, but in my unconsciousness, I did finally find Jamie. He was curled in a ball like a cat on the floor of my darkened dream. The dark was terrifying, but it was all we knew anymore. Even the smallest bit of light was painful. I walked over to Jamie in the shared hallway of my mind and curled up next to him. He shifted, and I scooted into his arms so my back was pressed to his stomach. His breath in my stringy hair was shallow and ragged, but it was there, and I’d never smelled anything sweeter. He was thinned and limp, but he was alive. We were alive.
No one else was in my subconscious. The wall had been repaired and my mother tucked behind it, like she wasn’t even there. Uncle Rick, my dad, Mace and Linus were all gone, though my mother’s instructions rang clear in my head.
When I finally awoke, it was to the sound of the radio playing lovey nineties soft rock. We were parked outside a convenienc
e store, and it was still dark out. My eyes hurt from the fluorescence coming off the obnoxiously green sign, so I shut them immediately. My body had been in such a constant state of agony that I barely registered the aches anymore. When I lifted my head, I heard an unsettling crack that warned me not to move anything at all. I was on the floor of the minivan, and Jamie was still slumped in the backseat. My thin scrubs offered no warmth in the night, but the heater was on, and the difference it made was heavenly.
The red-haired woman was seated at the wheel, popping her gum and awaiting further instructions. My slight movement drew her eye, and she smiled, turning fully around in her seat to look at me. “You’re awake? Finally. Sorry, I turned on the music because I got bored. Did I wake you?”
I pointed to my throat, indicating I couldn’t talk.
Her shoulders slumped. “Your friend should be here by now. Jenny? The voice told me to take you here and wait until Jen came and got you. The man who jumped out the door on the freeway said your friend would be picking you up here at four, and it’s four-twenty.” She double-popped the piece of gum in her mouth. “Who was he? Weird that he jumped out of the van and died.”
I shook my head and closed my eyes again to fend off the light.
“Your arms have glitter paint on them. Did you want to go inside and wash up? They have a bathroom, I’m sure.”
I shook my head again. I hadn’t been part of a real conversation in a while.
“I’m starved, but I have to stay with you until Jenny comes.” She scrunched her wide nose as she informed me of the inconvenience. Being that I had actually been starved, I didn’t have a ton of sympathy at the moment.
Before she could ask another question I didn’t have an answer to, I heard the scariest sound that ever was. A car peeled into the parking lot, a door slammed and Jens called my name. My heart stuttered and spluttered, but I couldn’t pick myself up to get away from him. I lifted my hand and pointed to the voice, motioning for the woman to get me away from the shock that would surely accompany the illusion that was Jens.
“Finally!” She honked the horn and flagged Jens down.
Jens flung open the door, revealing messy black hair and muscles bulging more than a man had a right to. The terror filled my limited vision before I had to shut my eyes against the added light from the neon of the few businesses across the street.
The shocks. Oh, the shocks. I knew they were sure to come, and my body jerked at the phantom voltage. The hallucinations of me suffering at his hands. I grimaced and shirked away from him.
“Lucy! What did they do to you? How did…” The sweetest voice in all the world sounded scared and horrified.
I wanted to go to him, but knew the pain would come if he was near me. That was always the way of it. Hear his voice, then writhe in pain.
Jens’s voice now was dripping with emotion. “Foss, grab Jamie! Hurry! Let’s get a move on now! We’ve got no idea who’s behind them or how much of a lead we’ve got.” Jens climbed in, but looked almost afraid to touch me. His hands shook as they ghosted over my body, guessing at how to lift me without shattering what was left of me. “Baby, baby,” he whispered, shaking his head. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’ve got to move you, but I’ll be so gentle. Just a little jostle. Hang on.”
I saw a tear fall from Jens’s unshaven cheek down onto my shirt, and guessed he might actually be really there – in real life, not in my head. That the rescue was, in fact, happening. With all the people who’d been running around in my imagination, it was hard to tell for sure. When Jens lifted me off the floor, everything throbbed anew. I bit my crusted and dry lip against the jarring agony, knowing I’d been stupid to trust that the memory of Jens wouldn’t sting. My bones felt like they were grinding against each other as he moved me. Every bit of me hurt, and it was thinking about Jens that did it. Oh, how I wished it wasn’t true, that he was real and the agony didn’t flood me whenever I heard his voice. Jens in real life didn’t hurt me, but this one did, so I knew it couldn’t be him. Right?
When he edged me out of the van, my eyes shut and I turned my face into his chest. He smelled like sugar cookies. It had to be Jens. I’d been wishing with everything in me that he’d come for me. It felt too good to be true.
It felt like a trap.
I struggled against him, terrified to be near the source of what was sure to be more torment. “I’m sorry!” Jens moaned. “Am I hurting you? Tell me how to help you! Tell me what hurts, what’s broken, so I don’t break it more.”
Was I in the minivan, or was I still chained to the concrete floor? When was the jolt coming? I wished they would just get to it; the anticipation was killing me.
I poked around in my head for signs of my family, but they’d all disappeared. Surely if my mom was still here, she could tell me if Jens was real or not.
My mom? Why did a wall with my mom behind it feel more real than anything else? It sounded crazy. Maybe I was crazy. Dig up a body I’d already had cremated? How could that be real?
Jens carried me to our car and sat in the backseat with my limp body lolling in his lap. I vaguely recalled how it felt to lie in my boyfriend’s lap. We’d watched movies together in this very position in our living room every Tuesday night. I hadn’t been so feeble then. There was no romance or sensuality to this. Jens sobbed openly over me, rocking back and forth gently to soothe either me or himself, I wasn’t sure. It felt like Jens. It looked like Jens. I hadn’t been shocked yet.
Yet.
Was I still locked in the cell?
I heard Britta’s voice shrieking, but everything was so distorted. Normal sounds boomed at odd pitches and volumes. Jamie was slid in next to us, and I heard Britta wailing, “Jamie, Jamie, Jamie, Jamie!” over and over.
Foss’s voice reached my ears, and my chin leaned toward the sound. I hadn’t let myself think of Foss in so long; his gruff cadence sounded so real. “The driver’s been controlled by a Huldra. She doesn’t know anything other than what the guy on the phone told us.”
“Fine.” Jens spoke through his tears. “Foss, go grab them some bottles of water and whatever passes for food in there. Quick, and then we’re out.” The door shut and Jens gently pressed his fingers to different spots on my limbs, testing them to assess their levels of disuse. It was terribly painful, so I guessed this was how the sirens were torturing me this time. “Baby, can you hear me? Open your eyes, Loos. I need to know you’re awake and alive.”
I obeyed, but we were parked under a streetlight that was too bright, so he only got a peek at my eyes. I wondered if the food they’d given us caused hallucinations. The neon color danced with snippets of the face I loved that caused phantom jolts of electricity to shoot through me.
Phantom or real? I couldn’t tell the difference anymore.
Suddenly I was being sat up and water was lightly trickled into my mouth. I swallowed reflexively, pained at the motion that should have been simple. I felt the car jostle as it started down the road.
“Loos, don’t go to sleep, baby. You have to eat.” Jens’s voice was so tearful, that I obeyed. He pried open my mouth and placed two fingers onto my tongue. Creamy peanut butter stuck to the roof and sides of my mouth. More water, then more peanut butter. The taste was like nothing I could have dreamed, though I’d yearned a great many times for food of this quality in the cell. Did that mean I was out of the cell? Peanut butter stuck to my tongue. It certainly wasn’t the tapioca oatmeal slop. It wasn’t poisoned. It wouldn’t cut me off from Jamie.
Would it?
My eyes flew open and I searched for Jamie. He was sucking on Britta’s peanut buttered fingers with his eyes closed, not even aware of what he was doing.
When Jens tried to feed me the fifth bite, I shirked away, wary of what poison lurked in the delicious spread.
“What? Did you want something else? More water? Foss got you trail mix, crackers, and about half the store. Tell me what happened, Loos!” Jens was distraught, desperate for answers. “At least tell me
who had you!”
I was unsure. It looked like Jens. Well, it was a worn ragged version of the superhero I adored, at least. He was wild, unshowered and had a half-inch beard masking part of his face.
When he tried to feed me again, my breath began to quicken. I couldn’t escape them. They would feed me until the poison made me forget Jamie. If I couldn’t find Jamie, I’d never last long enough for anyone to find me.
No one was coming for me.
But… but…
“Baby, it’s okay! Calm down. I’ve got you!”
I tried to fend off the hands that forced more water into me, but they were so much stronger. I would forget Jamie again, and they’d keep me in the dark forever. I wouldn’t go out like that without a fight.
“I’m sorry! I looked everywhere, but I still don’t know where they were holding you. Was it a ‘they’? Who had you? I haven’t stopped in months! We followed your star, but it hasn’t moved, and you weren’t anywhere! Was Tucker with you? We can’t find him, either! What happened, Loos?!”
I watched him as if through a fog. He was beyond any level of stress I’d ever seen him at. He had bags under his crazed emerald eyes and his beard was scraggly. He leaned down to kiss my forehead, but when his whiskers brushed my skin, it reminded me of Captain Six. I cringed and struggled to get away, panicked he would try to make me his wife because of my mom’s spirit inside of me.
Now that sounded crazy for sure. Maybe I was just locked in the cell still. Maybe there was no minivan or mom spirit. Maybe I was just delusional from starvation and dehydration. That made more sense than anything.
“What’s wrong? Did you not want me to kiss you?” When Jens took in my confusion and fear, his mouth fell open in horror. “You… Do you know who I am?”
I met his thunderstruck gaze hesitantly as I tried to decipher how to answer that. It looked like Jens. It smelled like Jens. But it fed me, and I couldn’t feel Jamie in my head. There was a trap.
Lucy at War Page 7