by Lydia Dare
“But no’ until I heal ye.”
“Can’t you do that in London?”
She giggled. “Everythin’ I need is here, Ben. Ye came ta me ta be healed. I canna let ye leave until then.”
Eighteen
ELSPETH WATCHED BEN OVER THE RIM OF HER TEACUP. He’d settled into the settee and looked more than comfortable with himself, his light hair hanging rakishly across his brow. She could watch him forever and never tire of it.
After a moment, Ben sat forward. “I should probably go. I would hate for anyone to find out you were alone with me after dark.” His hazel eyes twinkled at her.
But she didn’t want him to leave. Not yet. “It’s rare ta have visitors this late at night. I’m sure we’re safe for at least a while.” His head tipped to the side. “So doona go,” she mumbled.
“We have excellent hearing, you know?” The corners of his mouth tilted into a grin.
Elspeth bit back a curse. “Of course ye can hear me. Ye can probably hear my thoughts as well.”
“No. Your thoughts are safe. But I do have fun trying to read your mind.”
“How successful are ye at that?”
“Not very, actually.” He scratched his chin. “Why don’t you make it easy for me and tell me what you’re thinking?”
“Because then there would be no challenge and you would lose interest completely.” And she did so want to challenge him.
“Very true.” He nodded his agreement before his eyes roamed across her body. El crossed her arms over her chest when she felt her nipples harden. He chuckled.
She gasped, “Ye can read my mind!”
“No, lass, I promise you.” He held up one hand to silence her protest. “Your body speaks to me much more clearly than your mind does.” He adjusted his trousers. “And I really should go, because sitting here makes me want you again.” His eyes darkened a shade, but he made no move to leave.
Her heart skipped a beat. “But we just—” She motioned toward the door and then glanced at the mark on her wrist.
“That was nothing, love. A bit of pleasure. But it can be better.” His gaze went from warm to smoldering.
“I doona ken if I can survive better,” she whispered to herself.
“Of course you can,” he chuckled. He flashed a wolfish smile at her discomfort and pointed to his ear, relaxing again against the settee. “Excellent hearing, remember?”
“What other gifts do ye have?”
“Aside from being able to bring you pleasure?” His grin widened.
“Aye, aside from that,” she sighed. The time for games was over. Because Elspeth suddenly had the feeling she was outmatched.
Ben enjoyed teasing her. He enjoyed it more than anything he’d done in a long time. But he kept forgetting she was an innocent. She wasn’t a whore or a widow, or even a tavern wench. She was a good girl. And he’d do well to remember that.
She rubbed her hands together nervously.
“Sorry, lass, I’ll be on my best behavior. Ask me anything you want to know about Lycans,” he prompted, sitting forward with his elbows on his knees, prepared to give her his full attention.
“Anythin’?”
He winked at her.
Elspeth sat forward, too, her inquisitive smile warming his heart. “Will ye tell me more about the change?”
“What would you like to know?”
“What’s it like for ye? Changin’?”
“It’s hard to explain,” he started.
“Give it a try.”
He took a deep breath. Where would be the best starting point? “When Lycans come into maturity, we grow bigger, stronger, and faster than others. We need this strength on our wolf side in order to compete with predators who might destroy us when we are in our wolf form. It can be a bit scary at first.”
“In what way?”
“You start to feel the pull of the moon. As it waxes, the call is stronger and stronger. We become more aggressive as our bodies prepare for the change.” He narrowed his eyes and watched her closely so that he could gauge her reaction to his next revelation. “We become more lusty, too. Which is how I got into this mess.”
“Ye know what caused ye ta stop changin’?” she asked.
If he told her about that, she could probably guide him better. But he was so hesitant to reveal that aspect of his life to her.
“Out with it. Tell me what happened.” She didn’t appear to be willing to take no for an answer.
“I can’t.” Heat crept up his face.
“Are ye blushin’, Ben?”
“I suppose I am,” he said quietly.
“Tell me more,” she prompted.
“I was with a…” He stopped and tugged at his cravat. This was harder than telling her he was a Lycan.
“A person?” She motioned with her hands for him to continue.
“Yes, a person. A woman, actually.” He stood up to pace. If he kept moving, kept talking, he could tell her. “You see, Lycans cannot be with women in the days prior to the moonful, because we get a bit lusty and that lust can cause us to hurt someone.” He stopped pacing and stared at her.
She gasped. “Please tell me ye dinna hit a woman, Ben.” She stood up and shook her head.
“I never hit her,” he started. “But I was a bit too forceful with her. I lost control.”
“I still doona understand.” This was growing more and more frustrating. “What did ye do ta her?”
“I bit her,” he snapped quietly, and was immediately sorry for his tone.
“I’m afraid my hearin’ is no’ as keen as yers.” Although Ben would bet it was better than most. “Will ye repeat that?”
“I said, I bit her,” he repeated with more force.
“Well, why in the world would ye do that?”
“I couldn’t help it.”
She closed her eyes and breathed deeply. She was obviously frustrated with him.
“Lycans mark their mate.”
Her eyes flew open. “Mark? As in bite?”
He nodded. “Although she wasn’t my intended mate, I lost control and bit her. I knew she wasn’t mine. And if I hadn’t been in the wrong place at the wrong time, I wouldn’t have lost control. And I would still be able to change.”
He walked closer to her and lifted the fiery tresses from her shoulders, revealing her neck. He lowered his head to where her neck met her shoulder. He breathed in her scent for a moment. “This is where a Lycan marks his mate,” he said before he very gently nipped her skin with his teeth.
Immediately the scent of desire engulfed him. Her body warmed beneath his touch and reflected off her in waves.
“That dinna hurt,” she whispered, clutching his jacket.
“I didn’t mark you.” His fingers brushed over the spot he’d nipped. “I just showed you where a mark would be.”
“Would ye want ta mark me?” she asked, refusing to meet his gaze.
He tipped her chin up with his finger. “More than anything, Elspeth.”
“Oh,” she breathed. Her heart was beating so fast he could hear it.
“But I cannot,” he said, taking a step backward. “I wouldn’t take the risk of hurting you.” He tried not to let disappointment cloud his words, but it was difficult.
“Ye lost control with this woman? Who was she ta ye? Yer intended?”
“Not exactly,” he hedged.
“No?” She smiled brightly. “Then who was she?”
“Elspeth.” He sighed her name and rolled his eyes away from her, trying to buy some time. But she just glared at him with those beautiful green eyes. So he told her the truth. “She was nobody, just a whore.”
He closed his eyes and waited for her reaction. But she slung her fist and hit him in the jaw before he even felt the rush of wind that was her setup.
Nineteen
“WHAT WAS THAT FOR?” BEN BLINKED AT HER.
Elspeth had never hit another human being in her life. But a blinding rage overcame her when he’d said the word “whore.” It was
a word she’d heard her whole life, usually in reference to her mother. And it would not be tolerated in her home.
“I’d appreciate it if ye’d go, Lord Benjamin.” She walked to the door and held it open without even looking in his direction.
“Elspeth,” he began, walking toward her. “Please let me explain.”
“No explanations needed, Lord Benjamin.” She pushed his shoulder to get him through the door, though it would have been easier to move a boulder. “I would suggest ye go, or I’ll summon Caitrin and have her bring that cauldron of oil.” Her gaze met his, finally.
He looked tortured, but she refused to budge. “Ye’ve no idea what damage a few witches can do with a cauldron of oil.”
“I’ll leave,” he whispered, then soundlessly he left her cottage and disappeared into the darkness.
Numb, Elspeth stared into the chilly night before finally closing the door. Nobody, just a whore. Anger engulfed every part of her. How dare he say something like that? That woman, whoever she was, wasn’t nobody. She was a person. Maybe she had children to feed and clothe. Maybe she’d stumbled on hard times. Maybe she’d fallen in love with the wrong man, who’d used her then abandoned her.
Nobody, just a whore. She’d never get to sleep with this fury pounding through her. Elspeth looked about the room. There was plenty to do to keep her busy.
She could tidy up before tomorrow. She could use a spell and be done in an instant, but that wouldn’t help her get rid of her irritated energy. She picked up the teacups and spoons before sweeping the floor and scrubbing the table. It didn’t matter, however. Nothing helped her forget Ben’s cruel words.
Once the cottage sparkled and she couldn’t find anything else to occupy her, Elspeth finally stumbled into bed and slid beneath her counterpane. Breathing in the calming scent of heather by her bed, she closed her eyes and willed herself to sleep.
Ben thrashed his way through the woods. He could just kick himself for being so goddamned stupid, for being so dicked in the nob. He knew telling her about the lightskirt in Brighton was a mistake. But he’d gone and done it anyway. He was being honest with her. Telling her what happened. He was baring his soul, for God’s sake—and she’d thrown him out.
Had he learned nothing from Will’s mistakes? Women didn’t understand men’s baser needs, and Ben’s needs were more base than most men’s. So what if he employed the use of whores from time to time? It wasn’t something he was ashamed of. Most men of his station did so. And he wasn’t married.
But she just kept pressuring him. Tell me, Ben. Tell me what happened. Who was the woman? Well, women shouldn’t go around asking questions if they don’t want to know the answers.
He’d so hoped Elspeth was different than that. There was something between them. A connection he didn’t know how to explain. A connection he didn’t want to explain—he just wanted to enjoy it.
And now she was furious with him, for something he’d done before he even knew her. He was a bloody idiot.
Ben stopped in his tracks when he noticed a light in one of the front windows of MacQuarrie’s home. Damn! All he needed was another conversation with Alec. He was not in the mood to hear more warnings about spending time with Elspeth Campbell. Perhaps he could stay the night in the stables.
Perhaps he should just pack up and go back to London.
Before the thought had time to take root in his mind, he shook it away. He still needed Elspeth to heal him. God damn it, he simply needed Elspeth.
Nothing had ever been easy for him. He somehow always picked the toughest path. One would think he’d learn after a lifetime’s worth of mistakes. So what did he have to do to get back in her good graces? Flowers? Jewelry? An apology? Though what would he apologize for? I’m sorry I’ve bedded other women before I met you? He’d be a pretty sad man at six and twenty not to have done so. He’d be the laughingstock of the Lycan world.
“Are you going to stand there all night?” Alec’s voice called from the front door.
Damn! Ben’s shoulders slumped as he started toward his friend’s house.
“You look like a man who could use a drink.”
That was probably true. He ambled up the steps. “What are you doing up so late?”
Alec shrugged and opened the door wide for Ben to pass. “Couldn’t sleep. I thought some whisky would do the trick.”
Whisky sounded wonderful. Numbing his brain was preferable to trying to sort out the way of women. “Lead the way, mon ami.”
Inside Alec’s study he poured two generous tumblers and handed one to Ben. “So I take it from your down expression that things aren’t going well with Miss Campbell?”
Ben took a sip and welcomed the smoky burn down his throat. “Please don’t start, Alec.”
His friend laughed. “I’m not one to kick a man when he’s down, Westfield. You look as if you’re in enough misery without me adding to it.”
Ben raised his tumbler in a mock toast. “Many thanks.”
They sat in companionable silence for some time, which was nice. After a few more rounds of whisky, Ben leaned back in his chair and stared up at Alec’s ceiling. “Do you ever think you’ll understand the workings of the female mind?”
Alec sighed. “Not if I live ta be a hundred. I’m beginning to think it would be easier to perform Hercules’ twelve labors than to court Caitrin Macleod.”
“Perhaps you should take that as a sign from the gods.” Ben couldn’t imagine a worse fate than being leg-shackled to that haughty witch.
“Now, now,” Alec began good-naturedly, “if I’m keeping my mouth shut about Miss Campbell, you can at least return the favor where Miss Macleod is concerned.”
That did seem fair. “All right, what’s the problem?”
“You’d think I was daft.”
“Who says I don’t already?” Ben chided him.
Alec sighed. “I’d rather not confirm your suspicions, then. You want to tell me what Miss Campbell said to get you looking like a lost puppy dog?”
“She wasn’t happy to learn I’ve had relations with whores.”
Alec choked and Ben sat forward to pound on his friend’s back. “Are you all right?”
“Good God, Westfield! I don’t even want to know how you ended up discussing that.”
Feeling like the biggest of fools, Ben slunk back into his seat. “She made me tell her.”
Alec roared with laughter. “I can’t imagine why you would do such a featherbrained, idiotic thing.”
Ben glowered at him. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Do you tell the duchess of your exploits as well?”
Mother. He hadn’t written her in weeks. She was probably worried about him, but she’d be more so if he put pen to foolscap. After all, he’d never been able to fool her when something was wrong. Now he didn’t even bother. Besides, if Elspeth could heal him, there was no reason to get his mother upset in the first place.
Alec laughed even harder. “Please tell me you haven’t.”
“Of course, I don’t tell my mother everything.” Who would need to? She could read about it in the society rags. “I’m going to bed.”
The sound of Alec’s laughter followed him up the stairs.
Twenty
ELSPETH WOKE TO THE SOUND OF A GENTLE KNOCK ON her door. She pulled a wrapper over her nightrail, lifted her hair over the lace collar, and opened the door a crack.
Caitrin’s blue eyes flashed at her. “We ken ye’re angry at us, but we’re here ta support ye today, no matter what.” Caitrin, Rhiannon, Blaire, and Sorcha brushed past Elspeth into the room. “Ye bury yer grandfather today, and we’ll be here with ye whether ye want us or no’.” She brushed a tear back from her cheek.
“Cait, of course I want ye,” Elspeth said as she fell into the huddle of girls. “Ye’re my family, and I canna do without ye.”
When they finally separated, Caitrin looked down at her friend’s wrapper. “Is that what ye plan ta wear today?”
“
Of course, it’s no’,” Elspeth said. “Doona be daft.”
“Then ye better hurry, because the vicar already rang the death bell in the square. People will be arrivin’ shortly.” She clapped her hands together sharply. “Let’s get ye movin’.”
“I overslept?” Surely she hadn’t stayed in bed that long. Although it had been late when she’d finally fallen asleep.
Caitrin smoothed Elspeth’s wild hair with her hand. “Ye deserve ta rest more than anyone I ken. Ye’ve been dealin’ with a lot.” Then she moved to the window and raised the curtain. “The first of the mourners are walkin’ this way. Unless ye plan ta greet them in yer nightrail, ye need ta dress.”
Elspeth spun into action. She disappeared into her room and changed clothes after washing quickly. Then she combed through her unruly locks. They had a mind of their own, no matter what she did. She secured the flyaway tendrils with her mother’s hair combs, knowing all the while that her hair would be down around her shoulders before the hour had passed.
She bustled around the kitchen, started a pot of water for tea, and rushed out the front door. As soon as she stepped through the opening, she ran into the broad chest of a man.
“Whoa, there,” a deep voice said as strong arms steadied her. She knew immediately who they belonged to. Elspeth stopped and inhaled deeply. He had a scent like no other. He smelled of shaving soap and… Ben. It was unique to him, almost a wild scent, and it set her heart to thumping.
Finally she raised her head and met his gaze. “I doona ken what made ye think ye’d be welcome here, Lord Benjamin,” she whispered harshly.
His eyes narrowed as he released his hold on her and stood up to his full height. “I came with Alec to bring chairs.”
“Ye’ll be leavin’ when ye’re done, I assume?” The words sounded harsh to her own ears, but she couldn’t deal with him at the moment.
His fingers reached out to touch her chin, gently but forcefully making her meet his gaze. “No, lass. I’ll not be leaving you today. You can hate me all you want. But I’ll be staying.”
Elspeth couldn’t contain the small leap her heart made when he said he wouldn’t be leaving.
“Suit yerself.” She stepped back, moving out of his grasp. She immediately felt alone. More lonely than she’d ever been.