by HELEN HARDT
Wade was Daphne Steel’s last name on the original marriage certificate that we had found in Marj’s basement. But it wasn’t her name on the one in the Colorado database.
Could there be a connection?
Probably not. Wade was a fairly common name. Maybe not as common as Smith or Jones but a heck of a lot more common than a lot of other surnames.
If I was going to investigate my boss, I’d do it at home. I wasn’t sure if I could clear my cache on the city server, so I didn’t want to do it here.
But my curiosity got the best of me. I had been covering my tracks as best I knew how since I started this investigation into the Steels. I could probably begin with looking up Daphne. She had to have a birth certificate somewhere, right? If she wasn’t born in Colorado, it might still be under her original name, Daphne Kay Wade.
Quickly I searched the Colorado birth records. Damn! There she was, Daphne Kay Warren, born in Colorado, and the age matched up. How in the hell did someone change a birth certificate? Whoever did this had to have left a stone unturned at some point. I hoped I could find it. I did a quick search of the national databases. A plethora of Daphne Kay Wades and Daphne Kay Warrens existed, but none of them matched the criteria I needed. She was indeed born in Colorado, and her certificate named her as Daphne Kay Warren.
As much as I wanted to start Googling Larry to find out more about him, my first priority was finding and getting copies of all the news articles that Marj had found since Ryan took her copies away.
That was simple enough. I found them easily in the local paper and in all the papers in Grand Junction. They appeared to be the same articles, so I sent them to the printer and started a file. After I put the folder of articles in my briefcase to take home, I went out to talk to Michelle.
“Did you need something, Jade?” she asked.
“Maybe. I’ve been doing some investigative work for Larry, and I’d like to be able to continue at home from my home computer. Is there any way to access the Colorado databases from home?”
“You can always log into our server.”
Of course I could. I knew that. But I didn’t want a paper trail. “I tried that,” I lied. “My computer doesn’t support the logistics.” I had no idea what I had just said, but I figured she’d buy it. “I was hoping maybe I could access them from my own browser.”
“I’m afraid not. Not without one hell of a hacker.” She smiled.
I chuckled. “That’s certainly not me. Guess I’ll just do my work from here. I just hate staying late.”
I went back to my office. I had no idea if Larry was watching what I searched. If he was, he hadn’t mentioned it.
What the hell? I got into the Colorado database and typed in Larry Wade, city attorney for Snow Creek.
Turned out Larry hadn’t been elected city attorney but had been appointed two years ago when the previous city attorney resigned in the middle of his term to take early retirement. So Larry got himself appointed, and he would be up for reelection in a year.
I chuckled to myself. Maybe I’d run against him. God knew I could do a better job than he was doing. Don’t get ahead of yourself, Jade. You’re still a first-year attorney.
Real name was Lawrence Kenneth Wade. Divorced, two grown children, two grandkids. His ex-wife’s name was Lena.
Nothing more about his family and certainly no mention of being related to anyone named Daphne.
I didn’t know where he was born, but I searched the Colorado database anyway. There he was—Lawrence Kenneth Wade, born to Jonathan Conrad Wade and Lisa Jeanette Baines.
Jonathan Conrad Wade… Where had I seen—
I grabbed the printout of Daphne Steel’s birth certificate. Daphne Kay Warren, born to Lucille Lynne Smith and…Jonathan Conrad Warren.
What were the chances that their fathers had the exact same first and second names?
My skin shrunk around me, my veins freezing. Search Jonathan Conrad Wade. A few hits, and I found the right one. Search Jonathan Conrad Warren…
Nothing. At least not in Colorado.
Jonathan Conrad Warren didn’t exist.
If what I suspected was true, and Jonathan Conrad Wade and Jonathan Conrad Warren were the same person…Daphne Steel and Larry Wade were half brother and sister.
And someone had gone to a lot of trouble to cover up that fact.
Chapter Thirty-One
Talon
“You left abruptly yesterday. Would you like to tell me why?”
I was back in the hunter-green chair at Dr. Carmichael’s office. She’d made room for me on her schedule right after my court appearance.
“I hardly ever sleep, but when I do, it’s plagued with nightmares.”
“Interesting answer to the question I asked.” Dr. Carmichael cleared her throat. “So I gather you don’t want to talk about why you left yesterday. That’s okay. We can talk about whatever you want to.”
“I want to tell you why I came in here.”
As difficult as it would be to talk about nearly choking Jade, it would be infinitely harder to talk about where we had left off the last time.
Luke’s small form—I could still see it on that bed.
But I couldn’t go there yet.
“All right,” Dr. Carmichael said. “Begin whenever you’re ready.”
“I’ve fallen in love.”
The words still seemed so foreign to me. But while the words were foreign, the feelings they evoked were not, almost as if they had been with me since the dawn of time. I just didn’t know them until now. It had taken Jade to release them.
Dr. Carmichael smiled. “That’s wonderful, Talon. The first time we talked, you said you didn’t have relationships.”
“I didn’t. At least, I never wanted to. Not until her.”
“And her is?”
“I told you about her before. My sister’s best friend. Her name is Jade.”
“That’s a very pretty name.”
I nodded. It was a pretty name. It was perfect for Jade. It sounded like warmth and caring and giving.
“So is Jade why you came in here, then?”
I nodded again. “Yeah. I scared myself the last time we were together.”
“How so?”
“We…had relations.”
“You mean you made love.”
I gulped. “Yes. Why is that so hard for me to say?”
“Because you’ve probably never made love to anyone before.”
“I’ve had plenty of experience.”
“You’ve had plenty of sex, you mean.”
I nodded. She was right.
“So what happened? You were making love…”
“Afterward, we were lying together. And I…fell asleep.”
“Okay. Nothing unusual about that.”
“It was for me. I don’t sleep very well. And I had never slept with another person before.”
“Never?”
I shook my head. “When I was in Iraq, I shared tents with the other guys sometimes. But this was…different.”
She smiled again. She had a nice, warm smile. No wonder Jonah had the hots for her.
“I would hope it was different.”
I couldn’t help a small chuckle at that. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep. Or maybe I did. I was going to stay with her through the night and through the next night as well.”
“Why?”
“It’s a long story. The guy I beat up was in town, her ex. He had taken her to dinner, which really pissed me off. So I didn’t want to let her out of my sight until this morning when we had court.”
“But you did let her out of your sight.”
“You know I did, because I was in here yesterday.”
She nodded. “Why?”
“When I fell asleep, I started dreaming and…” My skin compressed around my muscles, my nerves on edge. My legs cramped up, and I clenched the chair’s arm again.
“What did you dream about?”
I searched my mind to come up
with something, but I couldn’t remember what I had been dreaming about. I only knew that I had been dreaming.
“So what happened?”
Fear froze the back of my neck. How could I say this without sounding like a monster? “I… I’m afraid to tell you.”
“Everything you say to me is in confidence. You know that.”
“Yes. I know. But what I did…”
“Did you hurt her?”
I gulped, my eyes misting. “No. Or not a lot. But I could have.”
“What exactly happened?”
“I woke up with my hands around her neck.”
Dr. Carmichael didn’t look fazed at all. Well, this was her job. Maybe she had heard worse.
“I see. And what happened?”
“Jade woke me up.”
“How did she do that?”
“She scratched me. Dug her fingernails from my shoulders down to my wrists and scratched me.” The scratches had started to scab up, but I felt them then, as if they were fresh. Like tiny daggers piercing my skin.
“Did she try waking you any other way?”
“I don’t know. She probably couldn’t scream at me because my hands were around her throat.”
Dr. Carmichael nodded. “Did Jade suffer any damage from what you did?”
“Her voice was slightly hoarse. But she said she was all right.” I shook my head. “And here’s the damnedest thing.”
“What?”
“She didn’t blame me. She wanted to help me. She said she knew I would never hurt her. I mean…she woke up to find me with my fingers around her neck, and then she says she knows I would never hurt her. What kind of person would say that?”
“A person who trusts you.”
I shook my head. “I don’t deserve her trust.”
“Well, Talon, you don’t really get a say in the matter. Her trust is hers and hers alone to give. It sounds like she’s chosen to give it to you.”
“I’m the last person in the world who deserves anyone’s trust.”
“Why would you say that?”
“Because I’m…” Broken. I couldn’t force the word from my lips. Using that word would open up a bunch of questions about things I wasn’t ready to talk about yet.
But here I was, sitting in a shrink’s office. I was thirty-five years old, and I was in love for the first time in my life.
Maybe it was time to talk about it.
I wasn’t getting any younger, and deep within my soul, I knew I would never have a chance for a future with Jade unless I put my past to rest.
I looked up at Dr. Carmichael. “How do you get over something so horrible, so terrible, so…malicious and sick, that most people can’t even comprehend it?”
Dr. Carmichael let out a sigh. “You work hard. You have to want it. And it’s not enough to want it for another person. You have to want it for yourself. There’s something you’re hiding. I’ve known it since we first met. I’m willing to go the distance with you, Talon, and I’m willing to go at your pace. But know this. You do eventually have to open up about it. I will never be able to help you if you don’t.”
I’d heard the same words from Jonah so many times.
Dr. Carmichael continued, “You being here shows me that you do want to work through this. This is the third time we’ve seen each other, and you’ve been able to open up slightly more each time. So that’s a good thing. But I know there are things you’re hiding. I know that there’s a reason why you fainted that first time, why you became nearly catatonic last time. I’m willing to go as slow as you need to go.”
“How could that have happened?” I asked. “How could I have put my hands around her throat? I…love her.”
“Let’s change the topic for a minute. Let’s talk about your love for her. How do you know you love her?”
Good question. “I…don’t know. I’ve never loved anyone other than my parents and my siblings. And this is way different.”
“Of course it is.” She chuckled.
“It started as a craving, and then it became an obsession. I had to have her. And I thought that by having her once, I would be able to get rid of the desire. But instead, every time I had her, my desire for her multiplied.”
“That sounds like lust, not love.”
“That’s what it was at first. But as I got to know her, I started feeling more. And then suddenly it seemed like those feelings had been with me all my life, and it took her to evoke them.”
“And is the physical desire still there?”
“I want her as soon as I lay eyes on her. Every single time.”
“Is she in love with you?”
“She says she is. But there’s so much about me she doesn’t know.”
“She’s put her trust in you, Talon. Do you want a future with her?”
The question of the century. And the answer was yes. “Yes. Goddamnit, yes.” I wanted a future with Jade more than I wanted my next breath of air. “And I know I can’t have it unless I work through my own demons.”
“I think it would help to know what you were dreaming about when this event happened with Jade. Would you be willing to go through some guided hypnosis with me? We might be able figure out what caused you to put your hands around her neck.”
“Hypnosis? Is that some kind of voodoo bullshit?”
Dr. Carmichael laughed. “Hypnosis is, at its center, a state of relaxation. You usually feel calm and relaxed when you’re under. And quite frankly, relaxation of any kind would be really good for you.”
I couldn’t help a small smile. She was right about that. “I don’t know, Doc. I have a hard time giving up…”
“Control?” She smiled.
“Yes, control. I guess I’m kind of a textbook control freak.”
“You probably are. But just from the little bit I know about you, it makes perfect sense to me why you would want to be in control. You and I don’t know each other that well yet, so you may not trust me to hypnotize you.”
“I really don’t trust anyone, Doc. Except my brothers.”
“Do you trust Jade?”
“I’ve never really thought about it.”
“She trusts you.”
“Yeah, she thinks she does anyway. There’re still a lot of things she doesn’t know about me.”
“You can never know everything about another person. Tell me, based on what you know right now, and based on what you feel about her, do you trust Jade?”
The answer thrust itself into my head so quickly, I knew it had been there all along. “Yes. I trust Jade.”
“And are you absolutely sure that you’re in love with her?”
Warmth coated me, releasing the ice from my skin. Just the thought of her… “A hundred percent positive, Doc.”
“All right. Back to your control issue. When you’re hypnotized, you have heightened focus and concentration, and you’re more open to suggestion, but you don’t lose control over your behavior. It’s important that you know that. I think the hypnosis would be helpful, but it won’t do any good until you’re ready. So let’s switch topics to something else.”
“Fine with me. What do you want to know?”
“I think it’s time that you tell me everything that happened when you were ten.”
The boy was tied up, gagged, and thrown onto the backseat of an old brown Ford truck. He had lost track of time but thought they’d been driving for at least an hour. He wasn’t sure.
He hadn’t thrown up. He’d used all of his energy and will to keep the vomit from rising when one of the masked men had held a knife to his throat, telling him that if he made a noise or threw up, he would kill him.
And then the other one had…
The boy closed his eyes, wincing.
They’d forced him to watch. Forced him not to empty his stomach or his bowels.
The blood spattering, bones splintering, gelatinous goo sliming from Luke’s crushed skull…
Luke. The masked men had carved Luke into pieces and stuf
fed him into a black trash bag.
At least Luke hadn’t screamed.
He had already been dead.
The boy fought to keep from puking again. He’d already emptied his bladder. His urine-soaked jeans clung to him.
“Usually we keep them longer than this,” the man holding the blade to the boy’s neck had said. “We got tired of this one quickly. Those damned buckteeth of his… Didn’t work so well. Besides, you’re a lot prettier than he was.”
The evil voice echoed in the boy’s head as the truck screeched to a halt.
The boy was dragged out and his feet unbound.
“Here you are, boy,” one of them said. He had a low voice. “Home sweet home.”
Chapter Thirty-Two
Jade
My search for any connection between Larry Wade and Daphne Steel, other than their father’s first two names, came up at a dead end.
I sighed and got ready to leave the office. Talon had looked so strange this morning, and because of what had happened last time we were together, I knew he wouldn’t come to me. So I would go to him. I texted Marj quickly to let her know I was coming to the house. I grabbed the folder of the printed-out articles and also Larry’s and Daphne’s birth certificates and then headed to my apartment. I changed into casual clothes and drove out to the house.
Marj hadn’t returned my text, so I wasn’t overly surprised when she wasn’t home.
I knocked, and Talon came to the door, cute little Roger panting at his heels.
“Hey,” he said when he opened the door. He looked delicious in a burgundy button-down shirt and his signature jeans and cowboy boots. His hair was a mess, though a sexy mess, and the dark circles under his eyes were more pronounced than ever.
“Hey,” I said back. “I wanted to come check on you.”
“What for?”
“You seemed a little off in court today. Can I come in?”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Why not? We’re in love, Talon. I want to spend some time with you. Make sure you’re okay.”
“I’m…”
“You’re what?”
He closed his eyes for a moment. Then, “I’m…afraid, Jade.”