by HELEN HARDT
“It matters,” I said. “There are things you don’t know.”
“I’m right here. I’ve got two good ears, and I’m a good listener. Tell me anything. I promise it won’t affect how much I love you or trust you.”
I let out a heavy sigh. “Something happened to me… Some unimaginable things.”
“What kinds of things?”
My vocal cords froze. Chills dashed through my neck, and I was paralyzed, unable to speak further. After a moment or two of silence, she crawled toward me and snuggled up to my body, her skin like silk.
“I will never pressure you to say anything you’re not ready to say,” she said. “But I can promise you that nothing will change my feelings about you.”
And in that moment—that moment where she had showed me the ultimate trust—I actually believed her.
“Last time at the end of our session, we decided we would talk about what happened to you when you were ten,” Dr. Carmichael said.
I sat in the usual spot, clenching the arms of the hunter-green recliner. I nodded.
“Do you want to go there today? Are you feeling up to it?”
I couldn’t help chuckling. “If I waited to until I felt up to it, I’d be dead and buried before it happened.”
“I understand. We will get to it, Talon, but it’s not absolutely essential that it happen today.”
“So you’re letting me off the hook?”
“You’re not on any hook. What you say here is your choice. If you’re not ready to talk about that, would you like to try the guided hypnosis today? Maybe we can find out what you were dreaming about when you ended up with your hands around Jade’s neck.”
I didn’t like the idea of someone inside my head any more than I liked the idea of talking about certain things, but I desperately needed to figure out why I had ended up in that position with Jade. I had to, if I wanted a future with her. As it stood now, I would not spend the night with her again until I was certain I would never hurt her.
“All right,” I said to Dr. Carmichael. “Let’s try it today.”
“Some people are more comfortable on the couch during this kind of session,” she said.
The idea of being on a shrink’s couch freaked me out a bit. “I think I’d rather stay in the chair.”
“Why don’t you pull the handle to let it recline. I need you to be relaxed, Talon, or this won’t work.”
I released the lever and let my feet rise. “Understood,” I said.
“I’m going to dim the lights, and then we’ll begin, okay?”
I nodded. Now or never.
Dr. Carmichael came back and took the chair opposite me. “Are you comfortable? Do you need a pillow or a blanket?”
“I’m fine.”
“All right,” she said. “The first thing you need to know about hypnosis is that it’s more than a state of relaxation. It can be any state where you disassociate and become more focused and more suggestible. Do you ever have flashbacks, Talon?”
I fidgeted, gripping the chair as usual. I nodded slightly.
“I understand that’s a difficult thing for you to admit. But I’m asking because I want you to understand that during those flashbacks, you’re most likely in a state of self-induced hypnosis. I think it’s necessary for you to know that before we proceed.”
“I don’t understand.”
“There’s nothing for you to be concerned about. I will guide you through your hypnosis session, and if you become uncomfortable or if for any other reason you want to stop, it’s important that you understand that you can stop at any time. You will remain in control.”
A shiver ran through me. I nodded.
“What sort of things trigger your flashbacks?”
“It can be anything. A glass of water on the table. Or…” My girlfriend massaging an intimate part of me. I wasn’t ready to tell her that yet.
Dr. Carmichael nodded. “You’re reacting to a posthypnotic suggestion when you have a flashback. Otherwise known as a trigger. In these instances, hypnosis is not relaxation at all.”
“How can I be reacting to a posthypnotic suggestion? I’ve never been hypnotized before.”
“It’s a phenomenon known as environmental posthypnotic suggestion. It occurs when a person’s been through a traumatic experience, and certain triggers cause them to relive the emotional and physical trauma that they experienced. For example, someone who’s been shot could react to any sound that sounds like a gunshot—a firecracker for instance, or a car backfiring.”
I nodded, still shaking a bit.
“I want you to understand all of this before we begin. I will do my best to keep you relaxed, but if you feel yourself tightening up, you just tell me that you want to stop. All that said, do you want to proceed?”
Was I really ready to relive all of this? Because that was no doubt what would happen. “Doc, let me ask you a hypothetical question.”
“Go ahead.”
“Say you have a patient who’s been through a horrific experience, a childhood trauma, and it has colored his whole life. Can he recover?” I’d asked this before, but I needed to hear the answer again. Needed to know I was going in the right direction.
“Does he want to recover?”
I closed my eyes. “Very much so.”
“Then he can, but he must first face what happened to him. Only then will he be able to deal with it and move forward.”
Words I’d heard many times before. I cleared my throat. I needed to do this. For my brothers, for Marj, especially for Jade. And more than all of them combined, I needed to do this for myself.
“Let’s do it then, Doc,” I said.
“Then close your eyes, and we’ll get started.”
Warmth coated my face, and I shut my eyes against the sun’s rays. I inhaled the scent of beach—sand, coconut sunscreen, that slightly fishy scent that was actually pleasant. The waves crashed to the shore, the sound of them soothing. I breathed in the salty air. My energy rose as the ozone swelled from the crashing waves, fueling the air with oxygen. I lay on top of a plush beach towel on a chaise longue, my knees elevated, my back relaxed.
All was right with the world. I opened my eyes. Next to me Jade sat, her lush body clothed in a silvery-blue one-piece that matched her eyes. She looked over at me and smiled, and my heart thundered. My fingers were entwined around hers.
I closed my eyes again, breathed in deeply, and let it out slowly. Tension seeped out of my muscles, and I melted further into the lush towel covering my chair. The sun’s rays heated my skin, and then a cool breeze drifted over me. I moved my feet on either side of the chair and wiggled my toes in the sand.
“Are you relaxed?” came a voice from across the breeze.
I nodded my head slightly. Yes. I am relaxed.
Whispers met my ears, voices… Something landed on my cheek. Probably a bug. I swatted away, but still it was there, pressing on my skin.
And the whispers became louder.
“Come on, boy,” a voice whispered. “You think you can take me on? Do it, boy. Show me how strong you are.” And then an eerie chuckle, black and evil.
I rose from my chair to face my tormentor.
“Come on, boy. Show me what you got, boy.”
I cowered, rolling into a ball to the sand.
“You think you’re so tough, don’t you, boy? You can’t hurt me. You’ll never know who I am. I’ll never answer for what I did to you.” And then the eerie demonic cackling again.
The cackling that brought the rage rising through me.
I stretched out on the sand. Get up. Get up and show him. Get up and show him you’re not a scared little boy anymore. Get up, Talon. Get up.
My muscles tensed, and I grabbed hold of something… It felt like the leather arm of the chair, but when I looked down, it was just a handful of sand.
Get up, goddamnit. Get up.
I summoned my strength, called on every bit of fortitude and courage I possessed, and I stood. I stood m
y entire height of six feet three, and I towered over the masked maniac who taunted me.
“Decided to get tough again, boy? Show me. Show me what you’ve got.”
I pulled my hands into fists and forced myself toward him.
For once, I noticed his eyes. They were brown, brown and evil.
With all my strength, I pushed him down and landed on top of him in the sand.
“How do you like that, boy?” I taunted. “How do you like that?”
I punched his nose, the blood spurting on my face. And then, as he coughed and sputtered, I put my hands around his neck. His arms flopped at his sides, the tattoo of the flaming bird seeming to move as his muscles flexed.
“You like that, boy? You like how I choke you like that? Do you, boy? Tell me. Tell me you like it.”
With a jolt, I was back in my lounge chair, the sun shining on my face. Jade was beside me, her hand still entwined with mine.
I opened my eyes, and I was in the hunter-green recliner in Dr. Carmichael’s office.
“How do you feel?” Dr. Carmichael asked.
She was right about hypnosis not necessarily being relaxing. I had a push me-pull you sensation going on inside my muscles. They were both relaxed and tensed, if that made any sense. Of course, it made as much sense as any part of my life had in the last twenty-five years.
“I’m not sure how to answer that,” I said.
“Do you remember anything about the session?”
I nodded. “I remember being on the beach.”
“Yes, that’s how I guided you to relaxation. Then what?”
“I felt very good. Jade was beside me. And then…”
“What?”
“A man appeared.”
“Did you know this man?”
I gulped and nodded. Brown eyes. The man with the tattoo had brown eyes. Something new. “Yes. I mean, I don’t know his name, and I’ve never seen his face. He always wears a mask.”
“He always wears a mask in your dreams?”
I gulped again. “In my dreams. And in reality… When I knew him.”
“Was he the man you were strangling?”
I nodded. “Yes.”
“I guided you back to your dream when you fell asleep with Jade. That’s what you were remembering—what you were dreaming about when you ended up with your hands around her neck.”
I nodded.
“So you weren’t strangling her, Talon.”
“I know I wasn’t. I would never hurt her. But the fact is, despite that in my dreams it wasn’t Jade who I was strangling, in reality, it was.”
Dr. Carmichael nodded. “But at least now we know it wasn’t her you wanted to hurt.”
That did little to console me. “What if it happens again?”
“I don’t think it will, now that we’re starting to work through it. But if you’re scared that it might, just don’t fall asleep with her. Until you’re sure.”
I closed my eyes a moment. “That’s pretty much what I had decided anyway.”
“Now tell me about this man you were strangling. You say you knew him.”
“Yes.” My heart pounded.
“Is it someone from your time in the military?”
Oh, if only. People expected military personnel to have posttraumatic-stress disorder, expected them to have problems coping. If only it were that simple.
“No, it wasn’t someone from the military.”
“Then who was it?”
This was it, the moment of truth. The time of reckoning. Time to spill my guts.
“He was a man, one of three men, actually. He kidnapped me, beat me…molested—”
No, that wasn’t a strong enough word, and I had vowed to be honest, to get through this no matter how hard it was on me.
I cleared my throat. “He… He…raped me.” I squeezed my eyes shut. “When I was ten.”
Chapter Thirty-Four
Jade
“Hello, Wendy,” I said to the receiver. “This is Jade Roberts again from Snow Creek.”
A heavy sigh whooshed through the phone line and into my ears. “What can I do for you, Jade?”
“You can tell me about the relationship between Larry Wade and Daphne Steel.”
Silence for a few moments. Then, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I have reason to believe that Larry Wade and Daphne Steel were half brother and sister.”
And again, silence.
“Look, Wendy, I know you don’t want to get involved in this, but I care about the Steels.”
“You’re just doing Larry’s dirty work.”
“Yes and no. I’m researching them for him for classified reasons, but as you know, I have my own agenda.”
More silence.
“Why did someone tamper with Daphne’s birth certificate and marriage certificate? Why didn’t anyone think to change her father’s first and middle names while they were in there?”
“I’m not sure what tree you’re barking up, Jade, but I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Look, I’m not stupid. The last name on Daphne’s marriage certificate is Wade. Her birth certificate notes that her father’s name is Jonathan Conrad Warren. Larry Wade’s father is Jonathan Conrad Wade.”
Another heavy sigh. “Well, you’re the attorney,” she said. “Piece together the evidence.”
“I already have pieced it together. What I want to know is why.”
“I’m afraid I can’t tell you that.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m not sure I know myself.”
I didn’t believe her, of course. In my mind’s eye, I saw her stroking her cheek with her index finger. But I wasn’t ready to pack up everything and fly out talk to her again if she wasn’t willing to cooperate.
“All right, Wendy. I understand. If you ever feel differently about things, please call me. You have my number.”
We said our good-byes and ended the call.
I shifted my focus to a couple of DUIs for the remainder of the day. I was due in court in the morning for arraignments. Besides, I had to let go of the Steels for a few hours. As much as I loved Talon and the rest of his family, I needed to escape it all, if only for a few hours. This research was taking its toll.
When I finished work on the DUIs, I got on the Internet to look at tattoo shops in Grand Junction. Maybe I’d drive into the city over the weekend and check one of them out. Maybe find a new image. One that wouldn’t upset Talon so much.
I was sipping the bottled water on my desk when Larry stuck his head inside my office.
“I’m taking off early, Jade,” he said. “Did you need anything before I go?”
I pushed some documents across my desk. “Just your signature on these.”
“Sure, no problem.” He entered my office, clad in shorts, a Hawaiian-print shirt, flip-flops.
“Going to the beach?” I smiled.
“I wish. Nope, just taking the grandkids out for the afternoon. Do you have any plans for the weekend?”
“I might go into the city.”
“Yeah, what for?”
“I’m thinking about getting a tattoo.” My phone buzzed. “Excuse me for a minute.” I picked up the receiver. “Yes?”
“It’s a Ted Morse for you, Jade,” Michelle said.
Colin’s father? Why would he be calling me? “Okay, put him through.” I turned to Larry. “I’ll just be a minute.”
He nodded, took the documents, and sat down in the chair opposite me, perusing them.
“This is Jade,” I said into the phone.
“Jade, Ted Morse. I need some answers.”
Would I ever be free of this family? “What do you mean?”
“Where the hell is my son, Jade? He was supposed to fly home after that court appearance. No one’s seen him since he left here.”
My blood froze in my veins. “He didn’t show up in court. The last time I saw him was Saturday evening.”
Silence for
a few seconds, and then, “I’ll be in touch.” The line went dead.
Where was Colin? Dread crawled up my spine and lodged in the fine hairs on the back of my neck.
Larry sat across from me, staring. “Everything okay?”
“Yes, yes. That was my ex-fiancé’s father, just looking for him.”
“I see.” Larry scribbled his signature on the last document. “So your tattoo. May I ask where you’re getting it?”
“I don’t know yet. Maybe a shop in Grand Junction.”
He laughed. “I mean where on your body.”
“Oh. Sure. On my lower back.”
“Good spot. Your first?”
I nodded.
“They hurt like hell.”
“So I’ve heard. But I’ll be fine.”
He turned to leave, and my pulse raced double-time. Don’t let him go. I needed to know things, things that only he could tell me. And now Colin had disappeared. I doubted Larry had anything to do with that, but I feared Talon might. Damn it, I wanted some answers. So I risked losing my job and my access to all the databases. I needed to start now. For my own sanity.
“Larry?”
He turned around. “Yes?”
“Before you go, I need to ask you some questions about the Steel investigation.”
“Well, as I’ve told you, most of that’s classified, but I’ll help if I can.”
I drew in a breath, gathering my courage. “I want to know about your sister. Daphne Steel.”
His eyes grew dark, and he walked around to my side of the desk. I trembled. But what could he do? We were in a public office, and Michelle and David were right outside. I met his angry gaze and then dropped my own to the floor, berating myself for not being able to look him in the eye.
Cheap flip-flops. But something was off.
Larry was missing a toe—the little toe on his left foot.
Continue The Steel Brothers Saga with Book Three
Possession
Coming September 27th, 2016
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