by Tara Leigh
I reached for my steaming cup, managing a sip through the cloud of whipped cream floating on top. Delicious. “No, no fun at all.” Wrapping my palms around the mug, I felt warm inside and out, in a way I hadn’t in too long to remember. “I was wrong to run, and I’m so, so sorry.” My voice cracked as I forced myself to maintain eye contact with Pappi.
“Are you ready to tell me why?” Forgiveness and empathy bled from every syllable.
“I am. Although my reasons are shameful. Reason, actually. I was afraid if I told you what I’d learned,” my throat closed up and I took another sip of the spiked hot chocolate, wishing I’d asked for a straight shot of Kahlua instead, “about D—Derrick, that you would just want to kill the messenger.”
Pappi leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. “First of all, you’re not a messenger. I love you like a daughter, Noelle. No one, not even my son, can ever change that.” A fragile smile trembled on my lips as he continued. “And second, there’s nothing you can tell me about Derrick that I don’t already know.”
My stomach plummeted. Of course there was. And it would break his heart. “I wish that was true.”
“I have a confession to make, too, Noelle.” Before I could stop him, he continued. “I knew that Derrick was using his debts as justification for marrying you. I would never have let that happen, though. I swear it.”
I pulled back, confusion seeping from my pores. “I don’t understand.”
“Derrick is an addict. A gambling addict. I know that. I’ve known it for years. It’s in his blood, I’m afraid.”
“You gamble?” I rubbed at the deep frown denting my forehead. I’d never known Pappi to so much as play in a neighborhood poker game.
“How do you think your father and I met?” He shook his head, eyes staring unseeingly at the fire as his tone became introspective. “We met at the tables in Atlantic City, back when the place was a real hot spot and traveling to Vegas wasn’t nearly as cheap, or as easy. We both liked to play blackjack, and were pretty good at keeping track of the cards, at least until they started dealing with five decks. Your father and I became friends, and then business partners.”
“I had no idea,” I said, breathing the words on a sigh.
“We turned our skill at the casinos into the initial bankroll for our business. Mostly, we were day traders. We had our ups and downs together, nearly went bankrupt in the early nineties. Got into tech when the craze was just beginning. We rode that wave right until the end, putting all our eggs into the NASDAQ basket. Didn’t realize it was a bubble until it burst.”
“When September 11 hit, we were nearly bankrupt again. My wife took off, but your mother, may she rest in peace, never complained. Said she had complete faith in us that we’d right the ship again. Even when your dad and I couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, when I was about to lose this house, she never let us think of ourselves as failures.” Pappi turned his eyes on me. They were a rich chestnut, like his son’s, but edged in a softer, lighter brown that shined with warmth. “I figured Derrick would outgrow the destructive side of his gambling addiction, learn how to put his appetite for risk to good use in the markets, like we did. And I hoped he would have a woman by his side who would love and support him, like your mother did for your father. I didn’t want him to be unlucky in love, like I was. I wanted to insulate him from the loneliness of that, I guess.”
“But, his debts, the men that are after him. We’re not safe.”
He gave me a long, searching look. “Did you know that your mother used to do our books?”
I shook my head. There was so much I didn’t know about my parents.
“Well, she did. And even when we weren’t sure how we were going to pay the rent on our office, or the mortgage on our houses, she made sure we paid our taxes, and our insurance. When your father died, that insurance money let me pay off our accumulated business debt and start with a clean slate. I didn’t take as many risks, but over the years I did all right. Well enough to take care of you and Derrick without cutting into the money your parents left, and since my ex remarried, her new husband took care of her. Anyway, I’ve always paid off Derrick’s debts to his bookies, the casinos, the loan sharks—under the condition that they never tell him. I had hoped that he would see how quickly debt grows. How small time bets can become huge disasters practically overnight.” Pappi grimaced. “He didn’t though, so I sent him to a gambling rehab center. While he was there I spread the word that Derrick was to be cut off.”
“But you didn’t tell Derrick.”
“No. All of you young people, you think you invented the wheel. Let me tell you, I’ve been around the block, too. Some of the men Derrick got involved with, they may be criminals, but they’re still men. A stock tip here, a recommendation there, always having enough cash to settle the score—that goes a long way. Derrick may have been their customer, but I was footing his bills. And so they were good to me. Fresh out of rehab, Derrick couldn’t help himself, he went to the tables. I asked for him to get the scare of his life, expecting him to finally come to me. Not to elope with you so he could get his hands on your inheritance.” A shuddering breath dribbled from Pappi’s pursed lips. “My plan backfired. I’m sorry, Noelle.”
I was reeling. All this time, Pappi had known. He hadn’t cut Derrick off, hadn’t been blind to his son’s gambling. He’d simply been biding his time, hoping Derrick would grow up. It never occurred to him that I would get caught in the crossfire. “Have you—”
“Talked to Derrick? Yes. A friend told me about the marriage license you applied for this afternoon. It was a simple matter to find out that he’d checked into a hotel. I made some calls and he’s on his way to another rehab facility now. I promise, Derrick won’t ever frighten you again.”
“I hate to say this, but I think he found someone you don’t know to take his bets. That’s how I left without Derrick noticing, he was losing . . .” My voice trailed off as I read Pappi’s expression. “You already knew about it?”
“Yes, that bet went nowhere. Derrick might think he can find someone willing to take his bets, but he can’t. Not anymore. I even have an alert on his credit cards to deny authorization to any known gambling website.”
I reached out a hand, giving Pappi’s shoulder a gentle squeeze. “I’m sorry.”
He huffed a sad sigh. “Thank you, Noelle. One day you’ll be a parent, too. You’ll understand the lengths you go to keep your children safe. Even from themselves.”
“He’s lucky to have you, and I’m glad he’s safe. Even though I’m not in love with Derrick anymore, I will always love him.”
“I know that, too. And although a part of me aches that my son isn’t man enough to deserve you, the other part of me is damn proud that you struck out on your own. Took a risk and carved your own path.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you where I was. I was worried that if I called and heard your voice, I would run right back here.”
“Don’t worry about me. It took a few days, but I’ve been keeping tabs.”
“Days? You’ve known where I was this whole time?”
“Of course. The police were no help since you were of age. But I had a private detective hot on your trail within hours. I would have gone crazy otherwise.” He shot me the aggrieved father look. “Although letting you stay in that rat-trap apartment in Brooklyn was the toughest thing I’ve ever had to do, let me tell you.”
If Pappi knew about my apartment, he had to know about—
The jarring ring of the doorbell had me swinging my head toward the window overlooking the front of the house. A familiar black Navigator was parked at the curb. “The friend you mentioned earlier, that was Nash?”
“Yes. I went to see him after learning of your engagement.”
I lowered my head, ashamed I hadn’t been the one to tell him. “I’m sorry.”
Pappi rose from his chair, knees creaking as he walked to the foyer. “Don’t be. We’ve both kept our share of secrets, h
aven’t we?”
There was a rush of cold air as Pappi opened the front door, followed by a swift handshake that was an immediate giveaway of a previous meeting. And then Nash stepped over the threshold, his gorgeous face coming into view. Heat exploded in my chest, spraying a toxic plume of grief through my chest cavity.
Because now that the threat of Derrick was neutralized, I had no reason to marry him. And judging from how well our dinner with Mack Duncan went, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if he chose to sell his business to Nash whether we were married or not.
Nash was probably just here to say goodbye.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Nash
Nixie rose from a chair in front of the mantel, light from the fire setting her hair ablaze like an angel’s halo. The sight of her, safe and sound and so damned seductive, nearly blew me off my feet.
No matter how many times she’d accused me of rescuing her, Nixie had been my white knight. Saving me from the empty life I’d resigned myself to.
By now, Paul had probably told her that Derrick was no longer a threat. Which meant that there was no real reason for her to marry me. The thought sent a jagged crack down my center. Not a break, not yet, but enough to know there was a weak zone just Nixie’s size. Feeling like I was about to choke on the warm air, I gestured toward the window as the first flakes of the season slowly drifted from the sky. “How about a walk in the snow?”
Nixie glanced through the mullioned panes of glass, her profile as exquisite as a carved cameo. “I’d like that.”
I grabbed the coat hanging on the otherwise empty coatrack in the foyer and held it out, dipping my head to breathe in the scent of vanilla and cinnamon that clung to her. Outside, the sun had already set, but the street was ablaze with white Christmas lights strung from dozens of trees. Our hands reached for each other instinctively, palms meeting, fingers interlacing as we stepped onto the porch. “I guess you know about Derrick. That Pappi’s been paying his debts all along.”
I nodded. “Yes. He’s not in any danger, and neither are you.”
We walked down the path cutting through the front yard and turned onto the sidewalk. Nixie gave the tinted windows of the SUV a cautious wave. “Is Jay mad at me?”
“Why would Jay be mad at you?”
“Because I keep getting him in trouble.”
I gave a slight shake of my head. “Shouldn’t you be asking me that question?”
“Are you?”
“I should be.”
“Does that mean that you aren’t?”
I stopped, studying the perfect slope of her cheekbones, the pert tilt of her nose. Nixie’s eyes were practically glowing, and I could feel myself tumbling into a swirling sea of topaz. “I have to admit, having a face that’s downright impossible to stay mad at is one of your more exasperating qualities.”
A stray snowflake caught on a ginger fringe of lash, suspended for a moment until a blink sent it on its way. One blink was all it took for something beautiful to disappear, lost forever. I couldn’t let that happen to whatever existed between Nixie and I. This extraordinary chemistry between us was a crackling, live thing, and yet so fragile. I was desperate to protect it, nurture it.
“No,” I whispered on a harsh breath, the single word emerging gritty and full of need. “I’m not mad.”
“But . . .” she prompted.
Nixie knew me so well. “But I think we should do a better job at being truthful with each other.”
“I’m glad you feel that way.” Her expression turned serious, all trace of her earlier smile evaporating. “You should have been honest about why you were marrying me.”
“I know.” I hesitated, struggling to voice something I’d only just realized myself. “I was going to, in—”
“In the car, before . . . “
“Yes. I should have been honest from the very beginning, of course. But I want you to know that I told Mack Duncan about us after we left “21” last night. Confessed that I’d been less than honest about our relationship. That I’d lied, actually, just so he would take my offer seriously.”
Nixie made a small sound, like a strangled cough. “Oh.”
“I think I’ve realized that going into any relationship, business or otherwise, under false pretenses isn’t the way I want to conduct myself.”
She jerked her hand from my grasp and turned away from me. “Let me guess, he’s still going to sell his company to you.”
“Yes.”
“Okay. I—I understand. Thanks for coming all this way. I need to get back—”
I grabbed for her hand as she began walking away from me. “Nixie, wait. I haven’t told you why I wasn’t honest with you.”
“Is it really important now?”
“Yes, it is. Mack Duncan gave me a reason for marrying you, but it wasn’t the reason, and I couldn’t look at you and tell you that it was.” A confused frown pulled at her eyebrows as I dropped to one knee, the cold, damp concrete pressing into my trousers. “What I’m trying to say is—we may have started out ass backward, but nothing in my life has ever felt so right. Will you marry me, Nixie?”
Nixie
Snow swirled around us now, the heavy flakes stinging my skin like drops of acid. “You don’t have to do this. We don’t need to have a marriage of convenience anymore.” I hoped Pappi wasn’t at the window watching this ridiculous display.
Nash’s bark of laughter took me by surprise. “Convenience? Hell, you are the most inconvenient woman I’ve ever met in my life.”
Insulted, I sucked in a breath of cold, damp air. “Fine. I might be inconvenient, but you are the bossiest, most bullheaded—”
Nash’s arms shot out and encircled my waist like a python, pulling me onto his powerful thigh, my hip pressing against the ridged muscles of his abdomen, our mouths barely an inch apart. “Is that really what you think of the man who’s so damn in love with you he can’t even see straight when you’re not around, and is damn near cockeyed whenever you are?”
I leaned back, needing to take in the whole of his face and not just the individual pieces that were like works of art on their own. His words echoed inside my brain, ricocheting like a pinball machine as I gaped at him. “You love me?” I finally managed.
Nash’s hands ran along my spine and settled somewhere between my shoulders and neck, his thumbs finding a sensitive patch of skin behind my ears that sent goose bumps rising to attention like tiny white flags of surrender. “Yes. I love you today and I think I’ve been in love with you since the morning I watched you wake up in my bed.” He twined a strand of my hair around his finger. “I’d never seen anything so damned beautiful in all my life.”
A faint spark of happiness sputtered to life, the flame catching and spreading warmth throughout my soul. Could this really be happening? A surge of optimism washed over me, a lightness of spirit I hadn’t felt since my parents were alive.
It didn’t last long.
Familiar doubts rushed in, threatening to extinguish the seductive glow. But this time, I fought against my old insecurities. Staring into Nash’s eyes, I shoved aside those negative thoughts, choosing to cloak myself in Nash’s words instead. My life might not always be glitter and rainbows, but I had all the ingredients of making it pretty damn good. Most importantly, I had Nash. And from here on out, he had me. Not because of convenience, but because of love.
Entwining my arms around Nash’s neck, our lips merged together, breaths commingling, tongues tenderly dancing. This man was mine. Realizing what I hadn’t said, I broke apart. “I love you too . . . and yes!” I trilled, the words jumping from my throat so I could kiss him again.
EPILOGUE
Nash
I’ve walked past St. Paul’s Chapel nearly every day of my life, but today wasn’t like any other day.
Today I was inside.
Waiting for my bride.
A low hum of anticipation thrummed inside my chest as the heavy doors at the back of the church opened. Three hundred
people were packed into the elegant Georgian hall, and there was a collective gasp as Nixie came into view. My first glimpse of her sent a bolt of electricity shooting through the soles of my shoes and charging every cell in my body. Breathless, I could only stare as Paul escorted my bride down a white satin aisle strewn with red rose petals.
Tomorrow was Christmas, but my gift had already arrived.
Radiant prisms of light shot from Nixie’s glittering headpiece, streaking through the sanctuary and infusing the 250-year-old house of worship with a palpable energy. We were only a few blocks away from the alley where I first got a glimpse of her. A few blocks and a world away. She’d sparkled as much then as she did now.
Finally, Nixie and Paul stood before me. The buoyant notes of the choir reached a crescendo as I lifted the veil over Nixie’s head, revealing gleaming copper hair cascading down her bare shoulders.
A riot of emotions trekked across Nixie’s flawless face—love, passion, excitement—and in her eyes I saw everything I never knew I wanted but now couldn’t live without. My throat turned to dust as I realized how close I’d come to losing the best thing that had ever happened to me. Before Nixie, I’d never known what it was like to smile for no reason at all, just because . . . I was happy. Nixie made me believe I could conquer the universe with one hand, so long as I held onto her with my other.
It physically hurt to tear my gaze from my beautiful bride, but I did, shaking hands with Paul and mouthing a silent “thank you” for the precious gift he was entrusting to me.
I crooked an elbow and Nixie threaded her arm though mine. Together, we climbed the final steps to the altar.
The service itself was a blur of words until it was Nixie’s turn to speak her vows. A single tear trekked down her cheek as she promised to love, honor and cherish me. I lifted a hand to brush it away, resolving to spend the rest of my days fighting to be worthy of her.
Parker came forward, solemnly carrying a green velvet pillow, two rings held in place with red ribbon.