by Linda Howard
Later that afternoon, after hours of trying to pass the time by cleaning the downstairs—a process that didn’t proceed as quickly as it should have because she kept going to the window to see if Rule had returned—Cathryn at last heard the pickup and ran to the window again to see him pulling up beside the supply shed. Her heart was beating so swiftly that she could feel her skin heating, and for a moment she forced herself to take slow, deep breaths before she walked down to where he was. She had forgotten the quarrel they’d had that morning. She only knew that he had been gone for hours and that she was hungry for the sight of him, a secret hunger that had to be fed immediately.
She was still out of earshot of the shed when she stopped abruptly, paling as she watched the two figures who had been unloading the remainder of the fencing. Ricky was helping Rule, and though Cathryn couldn’t hear what they were saying, she could see Ricky’s face, see how it glowed as the young woman laughed up at him. Suddenly Ricky dropped the box of tools she was carrying and hugged him, her pretty face turned up to him as she laughed unrestrainedly. She rose on tiptoe and quickly kissed him, then sank back as Rule’s hands went to her shoulders and moved her back from him. He must not have scolded her, because Ricky laughed again; then the two returned to their task.
Cathryn turned away, moving at an angle so they wouldn’t look up and see her. As she did so she caught sight of another figure and she halted, her head jerking around. Lewis Stovall was leaning against the corral, his hard face expressionless as he watched Rule and Ricky unloading the truck. There was a certain tautness about his stance that puzzled her, but she was too upset to worry about him right then.
Cathryn returned quickly to the house, so shaken that she went to her bedroom and sat on the bed, her eyes wide with shock. Ricky had hugged Rule, had kissed him! He hadn’t returned the embrace and it certainly hadn’t been what she would call a passionate encounter, yet she felt sick as she remembered how Ricky’s slender arms had gone around his waist. Lorna had said that Ricky was in love with Rule, but Cathryn hadn’t believed it then and still found it hard to swallow. Yet if it were true...no wonder Ricky was so bitter, trying wildly to hurt Cathryn even if she had to use Rule as her weapon. Had Rule ever made love to her? Had Mr. Franklin’s accusation not been so wild, after all?
No, it wasn’t true. She couldn’t let herself think that it was, because she couldn’t bear the thought of it. Moaning softly, she pressed her icy hands over her face. Ricky didn’t have any right to touch him! That was the basis of it all. Recognizing her sick jealousy for what it was, Cathryn tried to chide herself out of it. After all, hadn’t she herself given him permission to go to other women? He wasn’t a monk—far from it. He was a healthy, hotly virile man. But she hadn’t meant it! She couldn’t stand the thought of any other woman melting under his demands.
It had been an innocent scene. She had to believe that, or she wouldn’t be able to bear it. It had been only a quick hug and a kiss, and he hadn’t returned either of them. She had no reason to be jealous, no reason at all.
Yet it was more than an hour before she felt sufficiently under control to go downstairs and sit through dinner, carefully keeping her face blank and trying not to look directly at either Rule or Ricky. She wanted to do something violent, and she was afraid that if she saw either of them smirk she would lose her temper. Rule would like that; he had a tendency to use her loss of control against her.
She toyed listlessly with her beef casserole, neatly separating it into four equal portions on her plate and taking a tiny bit from each section in turn. The day had been a total disaster. Like a fool she had let Rule bully her into quitting her job. Now she realized that she had given up one more piece of her personal independence, bringing her that much more firmly under Rule’s domination. The fight with Mr. Franklin, the fight with Rule, the shock of seeing Ricky kiss him...all of it was just too much. She began to wish he’d say something nasty so she could throw her plate at him.
But the meal continued silently, until at length Rule excused himself and went into the study, shutting himself inside. Feeling like she could scream, Cathryn got ready for bed. What else was there to do? She vented some of her frustration on the pillow, then tried to read. At length she succeeded in making herself sleepy and she turned out the light, sliding down between the sheets. Moments after she had closed her eyes she heard a faint sound and her eyes flew open, her heartbeat quickening to double time as she wondered if Rule had decided to break their agreement and come to her anyway. But no one was there, and to her horror tears welled up in her eyes. Quickly she subdued the impulse to sob like a child.
Had he already reduced her to that? After one night of his lovemaking, was she so addicted to him that she craved him like a potent drug?
Damn him, didn’t he realize how upsetting the day had been to her?
No, he didn’t realize, and she was lucky that he didn’t. If he had any inkling that she was feeling so weak and uncertain of herself, he would move in like the hungry panther he reminded her of, ready for the metaphorical kill.
If only David were still alive! He had been a warm, sheltering harbor, a quiet, strong man who had loved her and left her free to be herself, instead of demanding more than she had to give. Rule demanded more. He wanted all of her under his control, and the terrible thing about it was that she would glory in being his completely, if only she could be certain of him, secure in his love. But how could she be? He would take everything she had to give but keep himself guarded, locked away from her searching heart.
She wouldn’t be able to stand it, every day spent worrying over the puzzle that was Rule’s personality, becoming more and more frantic as she failed to solve it. Why had she agreed to stay? Was she trying to drive herself crazy?
The thought of Chicago was heaven. She could still go back; she still had to close up her apartment, and she definitely needed her clothing. She had been scratching by with the bare minimum that she had brought, since she had thought that she would be staying only a weekend. That would be an ironclad excuse to leave, and once she was in Chicago, out of his reach, she wouldn’t come back. There were other jobs.
Clinging to the thought of her quiet apartment, she drifted to sleep. It must have been a sound sleep, because she didn’t awaken when her door was opened the next morning. It wasn’t until a hard hand slapped her bottom lightly that she shot up in bed, pushing her hair out of her eyes to glare up at the tall man standing beside the bed. “What are you doing in here?” she snarled.
“Waking you up,” he replied in the same tone of voice. “Get up. You’re going with me today.”
“I am? When was this decided?”
“Last night, while I watched you sulk over your dinner.”
“I wasn’t sulking!”
“Weren’t you? I’ve been watching you sulk on and off for quite a few years now, and I know all the signs. So haul your pretty self out of that bed and get your clothes on, honey, because I’m going to keep you so busy you won’t have time to pout.”
Cathryn debated giving him a fight, but she quickly realized that she was in a difficult position and gave in with poor grace. “All right. Get out so I can get dressed.”
“Why should I? I’ve seen you naked before.”
“Not today you haven’t!” she shouted furiously. “Get out! Get...out!”
He leaned down and flipped the cover back, then locked his fingers around her wrist and dragged her off the bed. Standing her before him as if she were a naughty child, he pulled her nightgown over her head with one swift movement and tossed it aside. His dark eyes flashed down her body, finding every detail and touching her with heat. “Now I have,” he snapped, and turned aside to pull open dresser drawers until he found her underwear. After throwing a pair of panties and a bra at her, he went to the closet and pulled out a shirt and a pair of soft, faded jeans. Thrusting those into her hands, too, he said, “Are you going to get dressed, or are we going to fight? I think I’d like the fight. I rememb
er what happened the last time you tried nude wrestling.”
Temper glowing hotly in her cheeks, Cathryn turned her back on him and hastily donned her underwear. Damn him, no matter what she did, he won. If she dressed, she was doing as she was told. If she didn’t get dressed, she knew that they would be in bed in a matter of minutes. Having to admit to herself that she didn’t have the willpower to resist him left a bitter taste in her mouth. Any abstinence was due entirely to his willpower, and Rule had plenty of that. He had been bending everyone to his will for years.
As she jabbed her arms into the sleeves of the shirt, his hands closed on her shoulders and gently turned her around to face him. Swiftly she looked up at him and wasn’t surprised to find that his expression was closed, his face stony. He pushed her hands down and buttoned the shirt himself, his fingers lingering on the soft swells of her breasts. Cathryn drew a deep breath and tried to fight back the longing that surged through her, making her nipples ache and pucker tautly under the lace of her bra.
“Would I be breaking our deal if I kissed you?” he murmured harshly.
With a jolt Cathryn realized that he was fiercely angry at the limitations she had set for him. Rule was a man used to having a woman whenever he needed one, and celibacy was riling him. The knowledge that she was upsetting him made her smile. Looking up at him, she hedged, “Just one kiss?”
For a moment he looked as if he would explode with fury. The glare he gave her was so violent that she took a step backward, prepared to scream at the top of her lungs if he made a move toward her. Then he controlled himself, reining in his temper and visibly forcing himself to relax. “I’m going to have you again,” he promised softly, holding her eyes with his. “And when I do, I’m going to make up for this, so prepare yourself.”
“Written in stone?” she asked just as softly, her tone mocking.
“Written in stone,” he assured her.
“That’s odd; I’d never thought you’d be rough on a woman.”
A smile suddenly lit his somber features. “I wasn’t talking about being rough, honey. I was talking about satisfying a lot of urges.”
He was making love to her with words, seducing her with memories. Her body quickened as she thought of the night they had spent together. She swallowed and opened her mouth to grant him his kiss...as many kisses as he wanted...but he forestalled her by turning abruptly away. “Get dressed, Cat. Now. I’ll be downstairs.”
Shivering, she stood for a moment watching the door that he had left open in the wake of his departure. She ached for him, willing him to return. Then she shook herself out of her sensual fog and pulled on her jeans and boots, her hands trembling from both regret and relief. How unlike Rule to deny himself sexual gratification! He had to have known that she had been trembling on the brink of surrender, but he had pulled her back. Because she had threatened to leave? Did he want her to stay so badly?
After brushing her teeth and combing the tangles from her hair, she ran downstairs and burst into the kitchen, suddenly afraid that he hadn’t waited for her. He was sprawled at the table, nursing a cup of coffee. Something flickered briefly in his eyes when she entered, then was quickly veiled before she could read it.
Her stomach jumped unpleasantly when she saw Ricky sitting close beside him. Murmuring a good-morning, she sat down and reached for the cup of coffee that Lorna had promptly placed before her.
Ricky arched an eyebrow at her. “Why are you awake so early?” she asked snidely.
“I woke her up,” said Rule curtly. “She’s going with me today.”
Ricky’s pretty face pulled into a scowl. “But I was planning on going with you again!”
“You can go where you want,” Rule said without looking up from his coffee. “Cat’s going with me.”
Cathryn stared at him, troubled by the way he casually brushed Ricky aside, when only the day before they had been laughing together as they unloaded the truck. A quick glance at Ricky revealed a quivering bottom lip that had been bitten and conquered.
Lorna slid filled plates before them, drawing everyone’s attention to their food, for which Cathryn was grateful. Rule ate with his usual hearty appetite, though Cathryn and Ricky did little more than pick at their food, at least until Rule looked up and frowned when he saw Cathryn’s full plate. “You didn’t eat last night,” he said pointedly. “You’ll eat that if I have to feed it to you myself.”
Delightful visions of egg dripping down his face danced with wicked temptation in Cathryn’s mind, but she reluctantly turned them away. Hurriedly she gulped her breakfast, drained her cup and jumped to her feet. Kicking his ankle, she snapped, “Hurry it up! What’s taking you so long?”
Behind her she heard Lorna quickly stifle a chuckle. Rule rose to his feet and clamped his fingers around her wrist, dragging her in his wake. He paused at the back door to jam his battered black hat on his head, then grabbed up another one, which he pushed onto Cathryn’s head. She knocked at it and said sulkily, “This isn’t my hat.”
“Tough,” he muttered as he hauled her across the yard to the stable.
Cathryn dug her heels in every inch of the way, pulling back on her wrist and trying to twist her arm out of his grasp. When that failed she tried to trip him, managing once to send him stumbling, but she didn’t accomplish much, since he retained his grip on her and she had to stumble after him. The thought came fleetingly that it was becoming commonplace for him to drag her across the yard, and she wondered what the ranch hands thought of it. The mental picture of grinning male faces gave her the strength to liberate her wrist with a violent twist. “Stop dragging me around!” she snapped when he whirled to face her, his expression thunderous. “I’m not a dog to be dragged around on the end of a chain!”
“Right now I think a chain would do you good,” he snarled softly. “You damned little redheaded wildcat! You refuse to let me touch you, but everything you do is a dare to me. I never had you pegged for a tease, honey, but you could have changed while you were away.”
Aghast, Cathryn stared at him. “I’m not teasing you!”
“Does that mean you’re serious when you give me the come-on?”
“I’m not giving you any such thing!” she denied hotly. “Just look at the way you’ve acted this morning—and yesterday, too! Yet you expect everything to be roses. I’m angry with you...no, make that furious. Enraged. Am I getting through to you?”
He looked astounded. “Just what have I done now?”
Out of the corner of her eye Cathryn saw Lewis Stovall leaning negligently against the stable door and almost grinning, which probably meant that he found it all highly amusing. She sniffed and evaded Rule’s question by saying, “It’s time we got started,” and walking around him to the stable.
Only the presence of Lewis and several of the other hands kept Rule under control, she was certain. She saddled her own horse, choosing the gray gelding she had ridden her first day home. When Rule was mounted on his big chestnut he led the way across the pastures, and looking at the set of his broad shoulders, Cathryn knew that he hadn’t forgotten the subject of their earlier conversation. Just let him bring it up! she thought fiercely. She had a few things to tell Mr. Rule Jackson!
CHAPTER 6
He waited only until they were out of the others’ hearing before he kneed his horse close beside hers and said with dangerous calm, “You’d better have a good explanation.”
Cathryn gave him a fierce, narrow-eyed stare. “The same goes for you,” she fired back. “For instance, why were you kissing and hugging with Ricky yesterday afternoon, but this morning you treated her like dirt? Was it an act for my benefit?”
Sudden amusement lit his dark eyes. “Ricky’s never done anything for your benefit.”
“Stop playing games with me, damn it!” she said furiously. “You know what I mean.”
“You’re jealous,” he drawled, looking so pleased with himself that Cathryn almost exploded with anger.
“I am not!” she yelle
d. “You can run around with every woman in Texas for all I care! I want to know why you were so friendly with her yesterday but treated her like a stray hound this morning. The rumor in town is that you’re sleeping with Ricky.” She felt sick even saying the words, and her hand tightened on the reins, making the gray dance and shake his head.
“Oh, you care, all right,” he replied. “Why else have you been throwing such a tantrum this morning?”
Cathryn ignored the provocation of that remark, no longer able to avoid asking him straight out. “Have you ever made love to Ricky?” she asked in a harsh voice; then she had to swallow a sudden surge of nausea. What would she do if he admitted it, when the very thought of him touching another woman made her feel sick? She wouldn’t be able to bear it.
“No,” he said easily, totally unaware that her very sanity hinged on his answer. “But not for lack of opportunity. Does that answer your question? Or do you have something else you want to accuse me of? Surely there’s some woman left in the county who you’ve managed not to suspect me of messing around with.”
She almost flinched from his sarcasm. Rule didn’t usually argue, but when he did he had a deadly tongue. Her dark eyes were huge and miserable as she stared at him. “Ricky’s in love with you,” she said. She hadn’t wanted to tell him, though on reflection she was certain that he knew it. Ricky wasn’t a subtle woman.
He snorted. “Ricky doesn’t love anyone but herself. She goes from man to man the way a butterfly tries all the flowers. But why should you care who warms my bed? You don’t want to share it. You even told me to take myself elsewhere when I needed sex.”
Cathryn’s throat closed and she stared at him helplessly. Was he so blind? Couldn’t he see that every inch of her ached for him? But thank God that he didn’t see, because if he knew how she felt she would never be able to control him...or herself. She wanted to be sure of him; she wanted to trust him before she became so deeply involved with him that she had no self-protection left, yet she felt pressured from all sides to throw caution to the winds. If she didn’t claim him, Ricky would; if she didn’t satisfy him sexually, someone else would.