“Fuck.”
“Yeah. Fuck. Now tell me again, how do you know Genevieve?”
“Vanessa, listen, it’s best if you don’t know all this.”
“Tell me!” My voice rose in anger, and tears sprang to my eyes. Genevieve and the girls were my only friends in this entire world, until I met Hawk, and now I wasn’t sure I had any friends at all.
“Fuck!” Hawk looked torn, his eyes flashing with anger and frustration.
“TELL ME!” My voice echoed toward the sky, scaring Pearl awake at my feet.
“Genevieve is…was…my step-mother. She was married to my father, the founder of the Devil’s Horsemen.”
“Are you fucking kidding me? That can’t be.”
“I’m sorry, Vanessa. I couldn’t tell you. I didn’t know how to tell you. It’s all so complicated.”
“I don’t understand. She’s from France.” I was shocked, frozen in place, my heart racing, my mind clouded with confusion.
“Alright, fuck,” he sat down on the porch steps, his head in his hands. “I’ll tell you everything. But you aren’t going to like it.”
“Go on.”
“Genevieve was my pop’s old lady. He met her in France and brought her over to the States and married her. They ran the club together for ten years before Pop died in an accident on the highway. I took over the club, and Genevieve moved on. Unfortunately, when she has business that she can’t handle herself she calls me. Usually, it’s the dirty part of her business. She’s self-sufficient, for the most part.”
“What does this have to do with me? I still don’t understand. How does she know my father?”
“She doesn’t,” he replied.
“I don’t understand? So who the fuck is Blackie?”
“Blackie is Genevieve, Vanessa. It’s an old nickname. Genevieve knows how wealthy your family is, and she saw how unfairly your father treated you, so she came up with a plan to kidnap you and take his money. I guess she’s tired of working.”
“Working?! She doesn’t work! Me and the girls do all the work, for fuck’s sake.”
I felt sick. She was supposed to be my friend. No wonder nobody was looking for me. Were the girls in on this, too?
“So you knew all along that I was being betrayed?”
“Yes.”
“I thought I was being kidnapped because of politics.”
“I know.”
“How could you let me think that all along? You lied to me.”
“No, I didn’t, Vanessa!” He looked hurt, and how dare he! I was the one hurt here. In fact, I was the only one hurt in this situation.
This entire time, I had been thinking I would do one of two things. Either go back to my normal life after this was over, and go home to Genevieve and the girls and pick up where I left off. Or, build some sort of life with Hawk.
But now, neither of those were an option. And the possibility of returning to my family had died long ago. Now, I had nothing.
I looked at Hawk standing in front of me, perfect in every way. Except one.
He was just doing his job all along. But his job was personal. Even if there was some chance of us being together, I could never face Genevieve again. And she was a part of his life. How could I ever be a part of his life if he was close to someone that betrayed me so deeply?
“Vanessa, listen. It was just business. I never meant to get so involved with you.”
His words were like a slap to the face. And they were just what I needed to hear.
“So I see.” My voice was cold and steely and every wall I possessed slammed down between us.
“So what happens now?” I asked, deliberately avoiding the pained expression in his eyes.
“I guess nothing happens. It’s over, I’m supposed to take you home.”
“I see. I’ll get my things.” I turned to walk into his house, his voice trailing behind me as I ignored him.
“Vanessa, please…let’s talk about this.”
I turned back to him quickly, trying to hold my tongue, but the words poured out in uncontrollable anger.
“What’s to talk about, Hawk? You told me you had a ‘client’, that it wasn’t personal. You failed to tell me that it was my best friend you were working for and that she just happened to be your step-mother! For god’s sake, what do you expect me to feel? I fucked you! Repeatedly! I was taken in by your kindness, I thought you cared about me! All you wanted was to use me while you baby-sat me. I’m sure you were going to be paid handsomely, weren’t you? And that wasn’t enough, was it? You needed to have my body and my heart, as well. Well, fuck that! And fuck you! And fuck Genevieve!”
I quickly collected my things and continued to fight back tears. I had never felt so betrayed, so lost. I grabbed my purse, my dress, my stupid heels, and all of Pearl’s things before scooping her up and walking outside.
“Let’s go.” The thought of riding in the truck with Hawk for the next two hours was excruciating. He opened my door and I threw my things in and placed Pearl on the seat between us.
He walked around to the driver’s side and slid behind the wheel. The engine roared to life as he turned the ignition on and turned to look at me.
“Listen, I have some things I need to say to you, but since I just returned from that long trip here on my bike, I need to go inside and pee before I start the trip back again. Wait for me, I’ll be right back.”
“There’s nothing to say. It’s just business, remember?” I said sarcastically.
He sighed a huge sigh of exasperation before opening his door and sliding out of the truck to go inside.
My eyes locked on the keys hanging from the ignition and then I watched him go inside, the tight muscles of his perfect ass dancing in his jeans as I watched him walk away one last time.
With tears clouding my vision, and my hands shaking, I picked up Pearl, moved her over and slid across the seat, quickly putting on my seatbelt and putting the truck in reverse.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Three Months Later
The early morning sun of San Diego streamed through my windows and the clay was cold and wet between my fingers. Pressing and kneading, I formed the curves of the statue’s ample hips, smoothing the lines with my fingertips as I worked the clay. I had been working non-stop, getting ready for my first art show, and my fingers were sore and stiff.
Pearl lay at my feet, cozy and warm in her new bed in our new home, four puppies nursing at her breasts. When I found out that Two Dog Dave’s pit bull had gotten her pregnant, I had been terrified. Dogs weren’t supposed to give birth at her age. But right after we moved to San Diego, I found a good veterinarian that nursed her through the birth and fortunately, Pearl and the babies had pulled through just fine.
I still wasn’t sure how the puppies would turn out looking considering their odd DNA mix, but they were adorable right now. Pearl had been a trooper and turned out to be a loving, attentive mother. I couldn’t have been more proud of her. I still felt guilty for putting her in this situation at all, so I spoiled her as much as I could. The vet had insisted on spaying her, and even though I knew she would never get out of my sight again, I agreed.
After fleeing Joshua Tree with Hawk’s truck, I drove all the way to Los Angeles, left his truck two blocks from the clubhouse and took a cab to my apartment. I packed as much as I could into my car, cleaned out my bank account, added it to the ten thousand dollars that was still in my purse from my date with Drake, and left Los Angeles as fast I could.
I hadn’t looked back or talked to anyone since. No Hawk, no Genevieve, and certainly not my father. He had lost the election, and I knew the last thing he wanted was to hear from me. So, instead, I just disappeared.
Luckily, I had the money from Drake to help me start over. I rented an adorable studio apartment with amazing light right by a park in the middle of the city. Done with the high-heel lifestyle, I found a small open space in a trendy part of town, leased it and opened an art gallery. In addition to networking a
nd finding artists, I concentrated on decorating my new home, taking care of Pearl, and resuming my sculpting. I had left most of my sculpting supplies and finished art back in my apartment in L.A. and I had to start from scratch, but after two months of doing nothing but working on it in my spare time, I had replaced everything.
It felt great, for the most part. I couldn’t help but wonder about Hawk and Genevieve and the girls. I wondered what Genevieve told the girls about my disappearance, if they missed me, and if my family wondered where I was. By the time Genevieve had me kidnapped, I already hadn’t spoken to them for six months. I was sure my father thought I had dreamed up the kidnapping.
I was trying to move past it as best as I could. Hawk’s golden-green eyes haunted me day and night, and part of me felt a twinge of guilt for bailing on him the way I did, but I just couldn’t bear to listen to him for those two hours back to town. I knew no matter what he had said that day, it wouldn’t have changed a thing.
Sometimes, words just don’t work that way.
So, I had immersed myself in work. After just a few months, I had six pieces completed, and I was ready for my show. It was tonight, in twelve short hours, and I was beside myself with exhaustion and excitement.
Mostly excitement. I was excited because I had finally done something all on my own, with no help from my father or Genevieve. I made the money, bought the supplies, created the pieces, and organized the show all by myself. Sure, it helped that the show was at my own tiny gallery, but it was still because of me.
And that felt amazing.
I spent the rest of the day at the studio, making sure everything was tidy and in its place. I couldn’t afford an employee, and this was the gallery’s third art show. I had found lots of interested artists, and they each showed their art for two weeks. So far, so good. Every piece had sold, and the artists were ecstatic, as was I.
The gallery had gotten busier with each showing, and tonight proved to be more of the same. Only this time, the artist was me.
Nervously, I walked around the studio for the millionth time, examining every detail and placement of my sculptures. They were all women, four of them inspired by the girls and Genevieve, although I would never tell anyone that fact.
I missed them. I missed the camaraderie of having women to confide in and laugh with and just hang out with. I knew I would find that again, I just needed to work on building some friendships, and I would do it - as soon as I found time.
Most of my time in San Diego had been spent alone and working. To be honest, I liked it. I needed the time to heal, to come to terms with the fact that my entire life had been upended and destroyed.
The most difficult thing to come to terms with was Hawk. I missed him terribly. I would wake up, tangled in my sheets, sweaty, my heart racing, my head full of dreams of him holding me, kissing me, his eyes shining in laughter. I went from waking up in the morning and wishing he was there to going to bed at night and wishing I had never met him.
It was excruciating, but I did my best to push all thoughts of him aside. Especially today. Today was a big day.
I turned on soft jazz music, made sure the self-serve bar was fully-stocked, and unlocked the door to my gallery, Captured. I thought the name was fitting, and while it referred to the art you would find inside, it had a private meaning that I didn’t share with anyone else.
The other three showings were very successful, and tonight was no different. Shortly after opening the doors, people began streaming in slowly, talking softly, drinking wine and milling around my sculptures admiringly. I couldn’t have asked for a better night. The full moon hung outside the window, shining in and reminding me that everything comes full-circle. I could finally breathe a little as I strolled around the gallery, answering questions and talking about my favorite thing in the world - my art.
I was on cloud nine, and by the end of the night, I had sold all but one of my pieces. I hadn’t worn high heels since I left Hawk’s place in Joshua Tree, but since tonight was a special occasion, I had made an exception and wore a black velvet dress with intricate black lace around the collar and wrists with a pair of black suede Manolo Blahnik’s. After hours of wearing them, I couldn’t wait to get home and take them off.
It didn’t help that wearing them kept bringing back memories of being with Hawk all day. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get that man out of my head.
After the last person left, I locked the doors and walked around the gallery one last time before leaving, caressing my sculptures lovingly, feeling that wistful feeling of being happy they sold, but not quite ready to let them go either.
It seemed my life was a big lesson in letting go lately, and as I winced with every step, I reminded myself that there was one person I still needed to let go of.
I closed up shop, and drove to my new apartment. With visions of bare feet, pajamas, and a tall glass of wine running through my head, I didn’t notice the bike when I pulled up.
As I unlocked my front door, Hawk stepped out of the shadows behind me.
“I can’t believe you named your gallery Captured,” he whispered behind me, and I jumped in terror.
“Fuck!” I screamed, my heart jumping into my throat.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to startle you.”
“Hawk!” I said, staring at him in awe.
I didn’t think he could have gotten hotter, but he was. There he was, the man that had haunted my every waking moment for two months, standing in front of me.
“Hi, Princess. You look good.” His gazed traveled up and down my body before finally resting on my lips. Without thinking, I licked them, trying to think of something to say to him.
“Um…thanks. I guess.” I was shaking. I never expected him to show up on my doorstep like this.
“What about me?” he asked.
“Huh?”
“What about me? Do I look good?” He winked and I melted inside.
“Hawk.”
“Aren’t you going to invite me inside?” he asked.
“I - um - well, I…” I was at a complete loss. Should I invite him in? Should I run inside, lock the door and tell him to never contact me again? Why was he even here?
“Are you here to kidnap me again?” I asked, the thought slowly forming in my head.
“No, Princess. I only want to talk to you. You weren’t easy to find.” He held up his empty hands, waving them in the air. “Look - no chloroform.”
“I see that.” I tried to smile at him, but I was such a mess that my lips weren’t obeying. I turned and unlocked the door, trying to successfully put one foot in front of the other without falling down. My legs were shaking, hell, my whole body was shaking and once again, I recalled the effect this man had on me.
Not much had changed.
I kicked off my shoes as soon as I turned on the lights, and held the door open for Hawk.
“Come in.”
“Nice place. It’s a lot different than your other place.”
“Yes, well. I’ve downsized.”
“You’ve disappeared, is what you’ve done,” he replied.
“Apparently, I’m not very good at it if you found me.”
“I’ve been looking for you for months. Ever since you stole my truck, actually.”
“Yeah, I’m sorry about that. Did you find it?”
“Sure did. I was hoping you would be in it when I found it, but you were long gone.”
“I left as fast as I could,” I said, lifting my chin defiantly. “I didn’t have any reason to stay.”
“No?” he asked, his eyes clouding over with pain.
“No.” I said coldly, turning away from him. I couldn’t handle seeing that. It was the last thing I wanted to see. “So how did you find me?”
“I put a google alert on your name and an ad for the show at the gallery came up. Again, that’s an interesting name you’ve chosen for the shop.”
“What do you want from me, Hawk? Why are you here?”
/> “Why am I here? Seriously, you’re asking me why I’m here, Vanessa?”
“Yes, I am.” The only thing I could do was keep my defenses up. This man had gotten under my skin, and I needed to keep my heart caged up and cold or he would just break it again. “I don’t see the point.”
Hawk looked at me for a long time, his golden-green eyes peering at me, staring right through me. I tried to break his gaze, but he pulled me in and I couldn’t tear myself away.
Suddenly, he walked across the floor, stood in front of me and grabbed my face in his warm hands. I shuddered at his touch, the electricity of his fingers burning me, igniting my body with desire, the passion exploding between us.
“I’m here for this, goddammit.”
He mouth captured mine in the most passionate kiss I had ever experienced. My apartment melted away with the world, and I dissolved in his arms as he wrapped them around me, his mouth tearing at mine, possessing me once again in the heat of his embrace.
How could I have resisted? There was no possibility of me walking away from him, there was no way I could reject his kiss. He pulled me into his body, his yearning hard against my thigh and I sighed against him as I felt his familiar throbbing heat against me.
I threw my arms around his neck, arching my back up, opening my mouth to allow his tongue deeper, wanting him as close as he could possibly get.
My intentions of being cold and hard flew out the window as he grabbed my ass and pushed his hard cock against me as he pushed me against the wall. His kisses turned harder, more urgent as he devoured my mouth, his groans waking up a part of me I had buried months ago.
I shivered against him, and he pulled away from me, sinking to the floor in front of me. His soft lips trailed kisses up my inner thighs, nibbling and sucking at my flesh as he made his way up higher under my dress. His mouth reached my black lace panties, and I sunk my fingers in his soft hair as he licked them softly, his heat burning through them to my quivering center.
“I can’t believe you’re wearing panties…” he murmured as he quickly reached up and pulled them over my hips and down my shaking thighs.
RECKLESS AND WILD: MOTORCYCLE CLUB ROMANCE BOX SET Page 26