by Tia Louise
Remi quickly cuts a piece and puts it in his mouth. “It’s delicious. Thanks, Eleanor.”
“Is that all you have to say?” She laughs, and puts her hand on her chest. “I’ll have to import Kobe beef to impress you next time.”
I watch as Lillie pushes her meat into a pile on the side of her plate before dipping a scoop of whipped mashed potatoes with her fork. I’d be worried about her being hungry, but she had a good lunch at Ma’s and a late snack today.
I take a bite of buffalo, and it’s pretty darn good. “You know, I read they massage those Kobe cows with Sake and give them beer to make them eat. It sounds great, but some say it’s inhumane.”
“I guess you would know.” Eleanor doesn’t even look at me before taking a sip of wine.
“How would Ruby know?” Remi’s voice has an edge in it. It makes me uncomfortable, and I don’t know why I decided to share that tidbit of knowledge.
“Oh, Asians know Asian practices—”
“Ruby’s American.” The way he says it fills me with a weird mixture of pride and defensiveness.
I’m not ashamed of my heritage, at the same time, Kobe beef comes from Japanese Black cattle. Once again with feeling, I’m not Japanese.
“Oh of course she is.” Eleanor dismisses the topic with a wave of her hand as Tessa returns to the room carrying that fucking bottle of port. “Remi, look what I found today in the bookcase. It’s that Tawny Port from the Prager Winery. Remember this?”
My throat is so tight, I’m sure I won’t be able to eat another bite. I have no idea what’s about to happen, but I sneak a glance at Remi.
“I do remember.” His voice is soft, and his expression is happy with a little sadness around the eyes. “It was a special trip.”
“It was your honeymoon. I’ll never forget when you got back, how happy you both were. Sandy said we had to save this a few years. I think we should have it now before it goes past its prime.”
“After dinner.” Remi takes another bite of steak, seeming to recover. “I miss being on the West coast. Seattle has a wine region as reputable as California’s. I wouldn’t mind taking a trip back home and scoping it out.”
Eleanor’s face goes from smug to startled. “You’re not thinking of moving back there? But it’s so far away. How would I see Lillian?”
“I want chicken,” Lillie whines, and I can’t help thinking Bok bok, bitch!
I fight it, because it’ll make me laugh, and it’s definitely not the time for laughter. Eleanor dug up that old memento to take us down a difficult memory lane, and guess what? Backfire!
Still, the last thing I want is to appear frivolous or insensitive.
“I’m sure we’d figure it out.” Remi doesn’t seem upset at all. He seems really healthy.
“My tummy hurts.” Lillie starts to whine, and I say a silent prayer of thanks.
“You should not have had ice cream so close to dinner.” I don’t know who Eleanor is scolding, but I put my napkin beside my plate.
“I can take her up and give her a bath. She’s had a busy day. I’m sure she’s tired.”
“Thank you.” Remi’s eyes meet mine, and my insides warm at the emotion I see in them.
I know from my work how complex his situation is, and the last thing I would ever do is hold his feelings against him. I want to tell him to take his time. I’m here to help. Instead, I take his daughter’s hand.
Eleanor’s loud voice makes me pause. “Don’t you want to try the port?”
I’d like to try shoving it up your butt.
I do not say that. I pause and smile. “I don’t really care for fortified wine, but thank you.”
Lillie gives me a pull, and I follow her up the stairs, away from whatever scene Eleanor thought she was putting together.
If she thinks she’s going to pit me against the memory of Lillie’s mother, she’s wrong. As much as my feelings for Remi are growing, as much chemistry as we share, I’m not a monster. I don’t expect anything from him.
I’m here to do a job, and that’s my primary focus now. I’m almost through week two. Two more weeks, and I’ll have made it through the month.
20
Remi
Stopping by my daughter’s room after dinner, I hear her voice coming from the tub.
“Henry’s ears stick out. He looks like Gus Gus in Cinderella.” Water splashes, and I change my mind about interrupting. I’d like to hear how this conversation goes.
Ruby’s voice is gentle. “People can’t help things like ears and noses, so it’s not nice to point out if they’re big or shaped funny.”
“I like Gus Gus. He saves Cinderella with the key from her wicked stepmother’s pocket. Even though Lucifer tries to eat him.”
More water sounds. I imagine Ruby’s rinsing her hair with a cup. “Henry does look a little like Gus Gus. But he’s not fat.”
I cover a silent laugh with my hand, and they continue stirring the water. It sounds like Lillie’s playing. “What’s evolve mean?” My daughter’s tone is sweetly curious.
“Where did you hear that word?”
“Henry said it.”
“You should probably call him Dr. Pak. You should get out before you turn into a prune.”
“What is it?”
“Evolve?” Ruby exhales. “It means to grow and change. To learn from experience.”
“You sounded like you don’t like it here. Do you like it here?” Noises of standing, stepping out of the tub, send me from the door into the hallway. I don’t mean to eavesdrop, but I have to hear Ruby’s answer.
“I like you.” Ruby carries her into the bedroom, and I can see from the doorway Lillie’s wrapped in a hooded towel. “I like your pretty house and my pretty room. I like our garden.”
No mention of me. My jaw clenches, and I think about what happened at dinner. Ruby was eager to get away when Eleanor brought out the port.
“Are you going to go out with Henry?” Ruby pauses in scrubbing my daughter’s head with the towel. I realize I’m holding my breath.
“I don’t know.”
Her answer pisses me off more than it probably should.
Or hell, maybe it pisses me off the right amount? Go out with Henry Pak? Leave here? After what we’ve shared? Turning on my heel, I jog down to my office. Adrenaline is pumping in my veins as I pace in front of my desk, and I know I’m not getting any work done tonight. Not with all these thoughts racing in my mind.
Leaving my work station, I storm down to my bedroom and strip off my slacks and work shirt. I go to the dresser and take out a tee and some nylon jogging pants. In less than five minutes I’m out the door, running down the circle driveway and out to the path leading past our house and through this expansive neighborhood, around the lake.
Every lot in Eagleton Heights is two acres. It makes for a nice, long path for walkers and joggers. I loop past the condos, where I now know Dr. Pak is setting up residence. Without even thinking I pop the bird at the new construction before circling around to where I started.
My legs burn with exertion, and I’m covered in a sheen of sweat when I arrive back at the house. I drop my hoodie in a basket in the laundry room and strip off my sweaty tee. I don’t feel like going upstairs for a new one. Luckily a stack of folded clothes sits on the drier, and I grab a white undershirt from it.
I didn’t eat much after Eleanor dragged out that port. I don’t know what kind of reaction she expected me to have, but I’m pretty sure from her response it wasn’t what she got. My feelings about those days are only good.
I never believed I would get here, but five years out, I look back on my honeymoon and the short time I had with my wife as cherished memories. A blessed time, followed by one of the darkest times of my life.
When I was in therapy, Drew said I would eventually get to this place of peace with the past, and a desire for a future. I didn’t believe her, but now it seems she was right. Those memories will always live in my heart, and I hope I’m blessed enough t
o have more to come.
My stomach rumbles, and I walk to the refrigerator. Eleanor keeps us on a relatively healthy diet, so I’m not expecting to find much in the way of snacks. Thinking about it more, I decide it’s time to take back this portion of my life as well. I want some fucking snacks in this goddamn house.
I grin, remembering how Ruby made pigs in blankets her first day here. They were delicious, and it sends my mind along a trail of all the ways she’s different from the women my mother-in-law associates with, different from Sandy’s old friends, the women I see when I take Lillie to preschool.
Ruby is fiercely independent, and she has her own unique style. She’s not a follower. She’s not a member of the herd. She doesn’t seem to want anything from me other than honest work, and she’s amazing with my daughter.
A soft noise behind me draws my attention, and when I see her, emotion hits me hard in the chest. My feelings for her have grown so strong over the past week and a half. I don’t want her to date Henry. I want her to stay here with me.
“What are you doing in here?” Her voice is soft, a little flustered, but I can tell she’s trying to tease me.
She’s standing there in cotton shorts and a thin tee with “Dream Big” printed on the front. A robe hangs from her shoulders, but it’s open. I watch as her eyes travel over me fast, her cheeks blushing pink.
“You blush easily.”
“Do I?” Her voice is soft, and she grins, her cheeks growing pinker. “I never did before. I didn’t mean to catch you in your underwear.”
Glancing down, I see the wife beater I’m wearing doesn’t cover much. I’m sweaty, my hair’s a mess, and I’m standing barefoot in the kitchen. “I just got back from a run. I thought everyone had gone to bed.”
“Lillie’s in bed.” She comes closer. “I don’t know where Eleanor is.”
Lifting my chin, I return to the refrigerator, where I’m holding the door open. “I just needed a little something more to help me sleep. I was thinking about Lillie’s leftovers, wishing we had something like cookies or pigs in blankets.”
She almost laughs. “Sorry about that. Didn’t mean to contaminate Lillie with my horrible food choices.”
“You should have a baking day, make cookies.”
Her voice turns sassy. “Are you saying you want my cookies?”
“I’ll eat your cookies.” I give her a wink, meaning it in every way.
She snorts a laugh, and it makes me smile. I love when she plays with me. Returning to the fridge, I take out a plastic container of what looks like cantaloupe. When I open it, it smells like alcohol.
“Hm.” I study the salmon-colored fruit. “This might be bad. I’m going to need you to taste it for me.”
“I don’t think so. That’s not my job.” She does a hop, and she’s sitting on the bar.
Perfect. I step between her legs, lifting out a cube. “You’re saying you won’t taste this to be sure it won’t hurt me?”
Holding it up, I lightly trace the corner across her full bottom lip. She pulls her head back. “It smells like it’s fermented.”
“Will you nurse me if I get sick?” I pop it in my mouth, imagining her in a sexy nurse outfit. It makes my dick twitch. “Tastes okay.”
“I wouldn’t eat too much of it.”
Stepping to the fridge again, I find a smaller container of strawberries and take it out. “How about this?” I hold a slice of strawberry to her lips. “Don’t you like strawberries?”
“Yes and no—the seeds get stuck in my teeth.”
Parting my lips, I watch as her mouth opens slightly. Her pink tongue slips out and tastes the fruit before she pulls it between her white teeth.
I have a full-on semi at the sight, and I put the other half in my mouth. “It’s juicy and sweet, just like you.”
“Remi…” Her voice is a warning, but my hands go to her thighs.
I slide them higher as I lean closer, possession running hot in my veins. “I don’t like you talking to Henry Pak. I don’t want you going to his condo when he’s moved in. I don’t want him calling you.”
Her eyebrows rise, and her hands grip my wrists, stopping my progress. I’m ready to devour her like that fruit, and I’m pretty sure she sees it in my eyes.
“That’s not your business.” Her voice is low, thick, and her breath is a little faster.
“I can make it my business.”
“How?” Her brow quirks, but her grip on my wrists loosens.
“I don’t want Lillie around him.”
“Henry’s polite, he’s a doctor, he’s Korean…” Her lips twist into a cute frown. “He’s just the type of guy my mother would love.”
“Now I really don’t like him.” That makes her laugh. “Besides, you don’t like polite men. I can tell.”
Her eyes narrow. “How can you tell?”
“I watch and learn. Figuring out what you like has become my favorite pastime.” My hands start to move again, but she catches my wrists.
Her chin lifts, and when our eyes meet, it’s electric, like always. “What are you saying?”
I’m not sure exactly. “You’re important to me… I care about what you’re doing. It matters in a way I didn’t expect.”
“I really need to find my own place.”
Those words are a slice to my stomach. “I don’t want you to move out.” Leaning forward, our breath mingles. “Then I wouldn’t be able to kiss you whenever I want.”
“Not here. Someone might see us.” It’s a heavy whisper, but she leans closer, meeting my mouth.
Her lips part, and our tongues entwine. She’s sweet like the strawberries and a little salty, which I guess is from me. Her small hands cup my jaw, sliding her thumbs lightly along my cheeks. Our mouths move faster, and I pull her closer so her core is against my waist, hitting the top of my cock. Fuck me it feels so good.
“You taste so sweet.” My lips travel to her cheek, higher to her ear, and she exhales a soft moan. “You smell so good.” I inhale the flowery scent of her hair.
“Remi,” she speaks my name on a breath, and I move my hand to the top of her thigh, higher into her shorts, sliding my thumb along the damp center of her panties.
She moans, and I close my mouth over hers again, kissing and chasing her tongue. I loop my fingers inside the thin lace until they’re slipping inside her pussy.
Another soft noise, and her hips begin to rock in time with my fingers sliding up and down her wet folds, touching her gently, then more insistently, massaging that little spot as she whimpers and sucks on my lips.
All at once, she stops and moves away. “We can’t do this.”
She catches my hand, taking it out of her pants and hopping off the bar. Her back is to me, and I watch as she brings her hands to her cheeks, her shoulders rising and falling with her rapid breaths.
I rake my hand through my hair. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. Forgive me.”
Pain is in my chest, and the last thing I want is to drive her away. I’ve dreamt of her moans, how she says my name when she comes, since I buried my face between her thighs. She’s like a drug to me now, and I want to hear those sounds again and again. I want her to want me as much as I want her. I can’t stand the thought of someone else having her, touching her that way.
“You don’t have to apologize. I like it. Too much.” It’s what I want to hear, but she doesn’t turn to me.
I want to pull her into my arms and hold her close, taste those sweet lips again. I want to ask her if she’s decided about New York… but I decide maybe I’d better not go there with the scent of her still all over my fingers.
“I’d better go to bed now.”
With that, she leaves me standing in the kitchen with a tent in my pants.
21
Ruby
“So? Are you going to New York with Remi?” Drew sits on her feet on my mom’s couch.
Her bridal shower is small, but it’s what she wanted—just our closest friends, Dotty
Magee, and a few girls from Drew’s church group. They’re in the kitchen helping Ma with the platters of cake and cookies. I’m on the couch, surrounded by torn wrapping paper, sexy lingerie, photo albums and frames, with the book listing who gave what on my lap.
“Shush!” I hold my hand in front of her lips. “If Ma hears you, she’ll put me in a convent.”
“Too late for that.” Drew leans back, beaming. “Well? What did you tell him?”
My lips press into a frown. “I haven’t told him anything yet.”
I think about our hot make-out session in the kitchen, his fingers in my panties nearly making me come. It makes me hot all over, and I clear my throat.
Again, I’d spent the last two days doing my best to stay out of sight. It didn’t matter. He would find me, and every time we’d look at each other, it was blazing hot. Any time our hands would brush, whether I was handing him a plate or taking care of his daughter, it was sparks of lightning.
His possessiveness, the way he talks about Henry… I hate admitting it, but I love it.
Drew’s watching me with a knowing light in her eyes. “I take it karaoke night didn’t move you back to the friend zone?”
“God, no. That was a total backfire.” I put the book on the coffee table and start packing Drew’s gifts in their boxes.
It’s all I can do to keep my mind from flying to his tongue inside me after that night of singing. Jesus. My thighs squeeze at the memory.
“Well, I don’t blame you.” Drew helps me clean up the mess. “His voice is like chocolate ribbons of pure sex. And with those eyes and that dimple…”
She sighs, and I straighten, putting my hands on my hips. “Aren’t you supposed to be in love with someone else?”
“For you! I’m appreciating him for you.” She laughs. “I’m so happy you’ve finally found someone. I swear, I thought you might end up with Ralph after all.”
“Good god, Andrea! Don’t even say those words.” That makes her laugh more.
“Is living with him your only reason for not diving headfirst into this love fest? Because I’ll help you find an apartment. Heck, with the money you’re making, you could buy one of those new condos in Eagleton Manor.”