by Susan Lewis
Patty’s glass smashed against the wall. ‘Just leave it,’ she seethed.
Eva and Livvy stared at her in shock.
Seconds ticked by before Livvy said, ‘Mum, come and sit down.’
‘This is a total overreaction,’ Eva told her, ‘so now we want to know what’s really going on.’
Patty’s eyes closed as she growled in frustration. ‘OK, if the only way to get you off my case is to go on the bloody computer to find me a man, then let’s do it!’
Livvy glanced uneasily at Eva.
Eva’s eyes were harsh as she stared at her sister.
‘Mum, you’ve got to want to do it,’ Livvy said lamely.
As Livvy’s statement registered Eva wasn’t entirely sure who started to break up first, her or Patty, she only knew the relief of falling into her sister’s arms as they began to laugh, almost hysterically.
‘But you have,’ Livvy protested, not quite understanding what was so funny.
‘You’re absolutely right, my darling,’ her mother told her, dabbing tears from her eyes, ‘and I’m being a total pain in the neck about it, aren’t I? So as soon as we’ve eaten we’ll go online to start tracking down the fool who’s dying to sweep an impossible forty-five-year-old wreck of the Hesperus off her size-seven feet.’
Livvy looked at Eva. ‘I don’t think she should write her own profile, do you?’
‘Absolutely not,’ Eva agreed. ‘You must leave that entirely to us,’ she informed Patty.
‘What’s amusing you?’ Don asked, glancing up from his book as Eva slipped into bed beside him. ‘You’re grinning like the proverbial, so I take it you girls had a good evening.’
‘We did – in the end,’ Eva sighed, sinking back against the pillows. ‘It started off a bit tricky … You know how prickly Patty can be at times, but once we got her to relax …’ She yawned loudly and thought about reaching for a magazine.
‘So what did you talk about?’ he asked, going back to his book.
Should she tell him about their hilarious trawl through the dating websites, Eva wondered. Since Patty almost certainly wouldn’t want anyone to know, she decided she probably ought not – and besides, from a security standpoint she wasn’t entirely sure he’d approve. ‘Oh, you know, this and that,’ she said airily. ‘The fashion show, mostly. Patty’s considering changing her mind about modelling, which is fantastic.’
After a moment he said, ‘Mm,’ showing that he was no longer paying close attention.
Remembering that her phone had beeped with a text during the drive home, Eva went to fetch it from her bag, and clicking through to messages she felt her heart turn over when she saw who the text was from.
Just to confirm that card has gone to letter-box. Sorry should have contacted earlier, up to my eyes. Will be in touch if any more news. Shelley.
Going back to bed, Eva held the phone in her hand as she tried to imagine the journey her card would take now. Presumably his parents would be the first to receive it, but only after it had been vetted by a social worker, of course. The big question was always the same: would it get to him, or simply be thrown away – or held back until he got around to asking about her if indeed he’d even been told he was adopted? It was like reaching into the darkness from the edge of a precipice, or trying to make sense of a dream. She recalled the text Jake had sent Patty earlier saying he needed a new charger for his phone, and thought maybe she’d go over to Lyme Regis or Weymouth to get it for him, somewhere she wasn’t known that would allow her to pretend in the shop that she was buying it for her son.
‘He’s such a scatterbrain, he loses everything,’ she’d say. She might even add, ‘His father despairs of him.’
Her eyes closed as she thought of how pathetic she was, stealing a few moments of fulfilment from a total sham. What would Don say if he knew? Would it make him any keener to discuss the possibility of starting a family?
Turning to look at him, she felt herself melting inside as she thought of how wonderful he’d be with a baby, perhaps awkward at first, but always loving and caring, protective and ridiculously proud. Yes, it was time, she was thinking as she rolled towards him, and she was sure he wouldn’t take much talking round once he realised how much it would mean to her.
‘Do you have something on your mind?’ he murmured drily as she ran a hand over his chest.
Moving in even closer, she was about to take away his book when her mobile bleeped with another text. Groaning irritably, while half afraid it might be a follow-up message from Shelley, she rolled on to her back and fished around for the phone.
‘So?’ he prompted when she started to frown.
‘It’s from Patty,’ she said, ‘telling me to answer my phone, but she hasn’t rung. I take it the landlines are OK?’
‘As far as I know,’ and after reaching over to check he said, ‘Yep, everything’s fine.’
‘I’d better give her a quick call,’ and scrolling to Patty’s number she clicked on. ‘Hi, it’s me,’ she said when Patty answered. ‘Is everything all right?’
There was an odd moment before Patty said, ‘Yes, fine. Why shouldn’t it be?’
‘I just got your text telling me to answer my phone.’
‘My text …? You mean I sent it to you? Sorry, it should have gone to Jake. He left a message about ten minutes ago asking me to call him, and now he’s not answering his phone.’
Relaxing, Eva said, ‘Maybe he can’t, if he needs a new charger.’
Sighing as she remembered, Patty said, ‘He must have used someone else’s phone to call me, and then forgot to give me the number.’
‘You might have it stored if he rang your mobile.’
‘Of course. This is so typical of him, ringing in the middle of the night after he gets back from a party wanting to tell me all about it. Sorry if I woke you.’
‘It’s OK, you didn’t. Give him my love if you manage to get hold of him,’ and clicking off the line she dropped the phone on to the floor beside her and turned back to Don.
‘Is she all right?’ he asked, raising an arm as she wriggled towards him.
‘Mm, she meant to text Jake and sent it to me instead,’ and, glad she hadn’t bothered with a nightie, she slipped a leg over his.
‘Oh, hell,’ he groaned as she started to climb on to him, ‘I opened one of the study windows earlier, and I’m not sure I closed it again.’
Used to how scrupulous he was about security, she let him go and rolled on to her back. ‘Don’t be long,’ she instructed, while admiring his hard masculinity as he went to put on his robe.
However, he’d barely left the room before her thoughts were on their way back to Shelley’s text.
Downstairs in his study Don used his mobile to call Patty. ‘I take it the text was meant for me,’ he said when she answered.
‘I’m sorry. It was a silly mistake. I should have …’
‘It’s OK. Is everything all right?’
‘No, yes … I mean …’
As she started to break down he said, ‘I’m on my way.’
‘No! You can’t.’
‘I’m on my way,’ he repeated, and closing his phone he went back upstairs to let Eva know that he’d been called out on an emergency.
Chapter Nine
‘Oh my God, they’re totally awesome,’ Livvy murmured, as she gazed down at the photographs in Eva’s secret album.
Eva’s heart flooded with love. Why had she never shown her niece these photographs before, she wondered. Possibly because for a very long time she’d actually forgotten she had them and indeed, had only come across them last week, while looking for the adoption papers she’d signed almost sixteen years ago.
‘Has Mum seen them?’ Livvy asked.
‘I’m sure she must have, at some point,’ Eva replied, ‘but I’ve no idea if she remembers them. I first found them years ago, when I was about seven or eight, hidden away at the bottom of Grandad’s wardrobe.’
Still entranced, Livvy closed the a
lbum, smoothing her fingers over the cellophane-protected wild flowers on the cover – daisies, clover, faded little scarlet pimpernels – and said, ‘I bet you picked and pressed these yourself.’
Eva gave a laugh at how well her niece knew her. ‘The photos were in a scruffy brown envelope when I found them,’ she said, ‘and I thought they deserved better. So, I used my pocket money to buy the album, and over time I collected the flowers to make it as pretty as I could. I used to pretend I was doing it for my mother, so I’d have something to show her when she came back.’
‘Oh, Eva,’ Livvy murmured, putting a hand to her heart. ‘That’s so sad and sweet. How old were you when you finally accepted she was dead?’
Knowing that a small, hidden part of her still didn’t want to accept it, Eva said, ‘I guess I was in my teens. Or maybe it was before that, I just didn’t want to come out and admit it. If I did it would make it real. So I used to pretend to myself that she’d run off with someone else, or that Grandad and Patty were lying to me, or that the world was lying to them. That way, there was always a chance she might come back.’
Clearly deeply moved, Livvy opened the album and gazed down at her grandmother’s face again. ‘I wish I’d known her,’ she said. ‘No one ever really talks about her. I mean, these aren’t the first photos I’ve seen, obviously, but they’re definitely the loveliest. Are you going to show them to Mum?’
Feeling a twist of unease that was part guilt and part nerves, Eva replied, ‘I don’t know if you can understand this, it’s probably quite childish, but Mum knew her for so much longer than I did. She has lots more memories and she shared so much more with her than I ever did. These photos … Well, I guess they feel like mine, some small thing that I have all to myself.’
Still gazing down at the album, Livvy swallowed hard as she said, ‘You must have really missed her, both of you.’
‘Yes we did, but we never really talked about it much. I think Patty found it too difficult … I know Grandad did. After Mummy died he kind of disappeared inside himself, and for a long time I’m pretty sure his own mother was the only one who could really get through to him.’
‘I always loved him to bits, but he was a bit like a child in some ways, wasn’t he?’
Eva smiled as she thought of her father, and the truth of Livvy’s words. ‘It’s what made everything so difficult for Patty,’ she confided, ‘even when Granny B was alive he still relied on Patty for almost everything. In some ways it was as though she’d taken Mummy’s place. I remember her making sure his shirts were clean and ironed; preparing his meals; reminding him when he needed to go to the dentist, or chiropodist, or to see the bank manager. She even bought herself a birthday card once for him to write and give to her.’
‘Oh my God, that is so sad,’ Livvy cried, clasping a hand to her mouth.
Eva couldn’t disagree. ‘But we did have fun with him, too,’ she insisted, ‘especially when he took us on nature rambles naming just about every flower and tree we passed, pointing out birds’ nests and badger tracks, inventing quizzes and games for us to play. But then we’d go home and he’d disappear into his study to mark homework or lose himself in some new research or other …’
As Eva’s voice trailed off, Livvy said, ‘It’s amazing really, that you and Mum have turned out the way you have – you know, confident and normal, when Grandad was so withdrawn and shy and Granny was … Well, we don’t really know what she was like, do we?’
Eva shook her head sadly. ‘Mum knows more than I do, obviously, but as she doesn’t like talking about her, and I never like to press it …’
Looking at the photograph of her grandmother again, Livvy said, ‘You know, this could almost be you. Or Mum. You’re so like her, both of you, in your own way. And she looks so … I don’t know, thrilled I guess, like she’s having a really fabulous time.’
Eva’s heart tripped with pride. ‘I’d love to know who was taking the picture, what they’d said, or done, to make her laugh like that.’
‘You don’t think it was Grandad?’
‘Actually, I’m pretty sure it was, but I never dared to ask in case he took the pictures back again.’
Livvy turned to the next page and practically melted all over again to see her grandmother sitting on a swing with a bubbly-haired little girl on her lap, and an older girl standing beside her, with her arms wrapped around her neck.
‘How old would Mum have been there?’ Livvy asked.
‘About ten, I should think.’
Livvy’s hopelessly soft heart glowed in her eyes as she looked at Eva. ‘I can’t imagine what it must be like to grow up without a mother.’
‘Luckily you haven’t had to,’ Eva said tenderly, ‘and Patty and I had each other, remember?’ She leaned across to turn to the last shot.
Captivated all over again by the picture of her grandparents together, Livvy said, ‘Grandad looks so young there, doesn’t he? And happy. You can see that he really loved her.’
‘I think it’s my favourite photo,’ Eva confessed. ‘When I was young, and didn’t know any better, I used to think, with a child’s logic, that she’d died because she didn’t love us. After I found these photos I knew that wasn’t true.’
Glancing up as someone opened the shop door, then closed it again, apparently deciding not to come in, Livvy said, ‘Have you ever shown them to anyone else?’
Eva smiled as she shook her head. ‘You’re the first,’ she told her, and felt a beat of pleasure to see how touched Livvy clearly felt by that. She couldn’t help thinking of how wonderful it would be if one day she could show the album to her son, but knowing better than to allow herself to continue down that route, she uncrossed her legs and got to her feet. ‘I promised to call Don by eleven to make sure he’s up before Mrs H gets there,’ she said, going to the phone.
Livvy looked startled. ‘Is he unwell?’ she asked.
‘No, he had a call-out last night and didn’t get back until gone four, so I left him to lie in this morning.’ After making the connection to his mobile, she said, ‘Hi, are you awake?’
‘I am now,’ he replied drowsily. ‘What time is it?’
‘Almost eleven. Your biggest fan will be turning up any minute, so I thought you’d want to make yourself decent – unless you have designs on her feather duster, of course.’
Livvy gave a choke of laughter.
‘Yeah, very funny,’ Don commented. ‘Where are you?’
‘At the shop, where else? We’ve had one customer through the door all morning, who bought a spectrolite pendant in the hope of raising her consciousness and blending with universal energies.’
‘Mm, I detect an Elaine connection there,’ he responded.
‘How did you guess? It was one of her spiritual group who’d been sent by the sister of the woman who made the necklace, who, of course, is also part of the group. Anyway, I should let you get up now. Will you be home for dinner tonight?’
‘I’ll check my diary and call you later.’
As she rang off Livvy said, ‘Seems late starts are catching this morning, because Mum was still in bed when I rang at half eight, and you know what an early bird she always is.’
Stretching luxuriously, Eva asked, ‘Do you know if she’s got any hot dates lined up yet?’
‘She didn’t say, but I think she’s going to need a bit more encouragement before we can really get her to commit.’
‘I’m sure you’re right about that,’ Eva agreed, and taking the album back she went to store it safely in the office.
‘OK, you two, you’re in charge,’ Don informed Rosie and Elvis as he pocketed his wallet and scooped up his keys. ‘Don’t let that Mrs H eat too much or it’ll spoil her girlish figure.’
‘Oh, listen to you,’ the portly old housekeeper chuckled delightedly. ‘Now, I should have all your ironing done by the time you get back, just in case you’re going somewhere special tonight, and unless you’d rather I didn’t I’m going to give your study a good going-over
today.’
‘Go right ahead,’ he told her, his eyes narrowing as his attention was caught by the security monitor showing a car at the gates. ‘Is that someone waiting to come in?’ he asked. ‘Has anyone rung the bell?’
Following his eyes to the screen, Mrs H replied, ‘Not that I heard, and I’ve been here ever since I arrived.’
As he registered what she’d said he smothered a smile, and after telling her to keep any secrets she might find in his study he grabbed his mobile phone and left through the conservatory.
A few minutes later, as he approached the end of the drive in his Mercedes he saw, to his surprise, that the car was still there. With the benefit of real, as opposed to electronic vision, he was able to determine the colour was blue, the make a Fiesta and judging by the number plate it was about ten years old.
Driving over the sensors in the tarmac he waited for the gates to glide open, readying himself to offer assistance to someone who’d broken down, or at least to find out why they were there. However, having noticed the gates opening, the Fiesta’s driver, who appeared to be a young girl of about Jasmine’s age, quickly started her engine and pulled away. Presuming it was a friend of his daughter’s who’d been establishing via mobile phone that Jasmine wasn’t inside, he thought no more of it and let his own car roll forward to the edge of the road.
Once the traffic had cleared he was about to turn in the direction of Bridport when he noticed Patty’s Audi parked in a layby across the road.
His insides tightened in a way that made him feel nauseous, and immediately stopping the Mercedes he ran across to find out what was going on.
‘Patty?’ he said, pulling open the passenger door.
Her hands were clenched on the wheel; her face was pinched with exhaustion and despair.
‘Oh my God,’ he murmured, and sliding in next to her he drew her straight into his arms.
‘I can’t go on like this,’ she sobbed. ‘I feel as though I’m losing my mind.’
‘Ssh,’ he whispered, feeling his own mind starting to unhinge as he held her close. ‘It’ll be all right.’