by Susan Lewis
Patty’s smile was weak as she tried to accept the praise; her heart was heavy with guilt.
‘I have a question for you,’ Elaine had continued. ‘It won’t be an easy one to answer, so don’t feel you have to do so straight away. Do you think there’s a chance that what’s happening between you and Don could be you trying to prove to yourself that for once you can matter more?’
The bluntness of the question had taken Patty’s breath away, and several minutes had passed while she’d tried to face it honestly and bravely. In the end all she could say was, ‘I understand why you might think that, and I’ve even thought it myself at times, but in spite of the jealousy I’ve felt towards Eva, and the frustration, and yes, loneliness, of always knowing that I have to take care of myself while everyone takes care of her, I love her far too much to consciously or unconsciously hurt her like that.’
Elaine showed no expression as she said, ‘So you have no doubts about your feelings for Don?’
‘None at all.’
In the days since their chat Patty had wondered if she’d answered that question too quickly, too defensively, but even if she had it was only because she truly didn’t have any doubts. She loved Don in a way that went beyond words, because it went beyond her level of understanding. What she couldn’t be clear about, however, was how much longer they could continue to live under this sort of strain. It was easier when they were at home, just the two of them, but even then whenever Jake rang from his latest modelling assignment, or Reece was in touch for one reason or another, she was left feeling beaten and shamed by their condemnation. Going out could be nothing short of hell, with old friends cold-shouldering them, or even making a point of expressing their disgust. Of course there were always those who’d rather not get involved, particularly colleagues and clients, but even they weren’t quite managing to disguise their surprise or disapproval. Don’s answer was almost always the same as the one he’d given just now, ‘To hell with them,’ but she knew he wasn’t finding this any easier than she was. What made it worse, for her at least, was the way everyone was siding with Eva. Not that she blamed them, she was sure if she was in their shoes she would too, but once again it was as if her feelings, her dreams, her life, mattered less than her sister’s.
‘Are you going to answer that?’ Don prompted gently.
Looking down at her phone and seeing it was Livvy, she quickly picked it up. ‘Hi, how did it go?’ she asked, driving some excitement into her voice. ‘I was expecting to hear from you ages ago.’
‘Sorry, it’s been completely manic,’ Livvy cried, ‘but it was fantastic. Everyone loved the flamenco dress. The model had to keep coming back on because they wouldn’t stop applauding. OK, Bobbie and Carrie-Anne were making them clap, but honestly, Mum, it was amazing. And then I only had to go on and take a bow. I felt like a full-on celebrity with all the flashes going off and everyone trying to get to me. Jasmine even came up and asked for my autograph! She said she wanted to be the first to get it, because it might be worth something one day.’
Laughing shakily, Patty said, ‘I’m sure it will. Is she still with you?’
‘Yeah, she’s right here sending a text to her dad. It’s been totally wicked, Mum. I wish we could do this every week, except I’d never be able … Oh God, I almost forgot. Everyone was really mad about Livvy’s loons, you know the trousers I make with the zips that go from the bum right down the back of the legs? Carrie-Anne’s even ordered a pair. She’s reckons they’re going to be the next big thing.’
‘They will be if she wears them,’ Patty told her. ‘I’m so proud of you, darling. You were obviously a huge hit.’
‘I have to admit, it was pretty cool, and Eva’s like totally blown away, because everyone was really nice to her and kept saying how fantastic it was to see her, and great that she’s making a comeback. I don’t think she quite sees it like that, but she went along with it anyway. I’ll text you in a minute with a list of the papers you have to get tomorrow, and we definitely have to buy a copy of OK! this week, because they were there too. And Elle and Closer and … Oh God, I’ll send the list when the PR girl sends it to Eva.’
‘Be sure you don’t forget. Where are you now?’
‘We’re on our way back. Eva’s in the taxi behind with the publicity people, and once she’s finished with them she’s taking us to the Riverside for a celebration dinner. Yay! Bring it on!’
Putting out a hand to stop Don from ordering any drinks, Patty said, ‘How far away are you?’
‘I don’t know, about ten, fifteen minutes, I guess. Why?’
‘Because Don and I are at the Riverside.’
‘Oh no, Mum! It’ll spoil everything if she sees you.’
‘I know, I know. Don’t worry, we’ll leave before you get here. Just thank goodness you rang.’
‘Dead right. Oh God, I’m sorry, I guess that sounds mean, but you’ve got him and she hasn’t and I don’t think she needs reminding of that tonight.’
Knowing it was unlikely Eva forgot it for a moment, Patty said, ‘We’re on our way out now, so the coast should be clear by the time you get here.’
‘What on earth’s going on?’ Don demanded as she rang off.
Getting to her feet, Patty said, ‘Eva’s on her way here with the girls. If Arthur had been in tonight I’m sure he’d have warned us, but he isn’t so we have to count ourselves lucky that Livvy rang when she did.’
‘We can’t keep running away like this,’ Don protested as he signalled a waiter to bring their coats.
‘I know, but do you really want to sit here when she walks in with our daughters and have the whole place come to a standstill?’
‘No, I guess not, but to be frank I’m starting to care a lot less about Eva than I am about you. She’s clearly not going to pieces, the way we thought she would …’
‘Grief, loss, high emotion has an energy all of its own,’ she interrupted, ‘and what’s worrying me is what might happen to her when the high of this show finally runs out.’
‘Whatever does happen,’ he said, as they got to her car, ‘you need to start coming to terms with the fact that you can’t always be there to save her, and nor can you go on refusing to accept that she’s capable of standing on her own two feet.’
‘So you think she can?’
‘As far as I can see she’s proving it.’
‘Which means you’re refusing to take any more responsibility for her?’
‘No, it means that I’m backing off treating her like a child, which is something we’ve both done for far too long. Now, we’d better get out of here before they turn up. I’ll see you back at the barn. Would you like me to pick up some Chinese on the way?’
‘OK.’ After sitting into the driver’s seat, she lowered the window and looked up at him. ‘I can’t see a time when we’ll ever be able to run into her without it being utterly horrible for us all.’
Reaching for her hand, he said, ‘Time moves on, things change and before you know it she’ll probably meet someone else.’
Unable to imagine that, Patty said, ‘Even if she does, I know in my heart that she’s never going to forgive me.’
‘You might be surprised,’ he said softly, and after squeezing her hand he stood back for her to start reversing out of her space.
The following morning Eva came downstairs just before eight to find, to her amazement, that Livvy and Jasmine hadn’t only already been out for the papers and conjured up a feast of a breakfast, but they’d also fed and walked Rosie and Elvis and filled the ducks’ trough with pellets.
‘Good morning,’ Jasmine cried cheerily as she pulled out a chair for Eva to sit down. ‘We have scrambled eggs, sausages, bacon and grilled tomatoes, and/or muesli with fresh fruit, and/or porridge with skimmed milk and Greek yoghurt.’
‘Here’s your coffee,’ Livvy declared, setting a mug down next to her. ‘White, no sugar, and your orange juice is right there, already poured.’
With a bewildered but deligh
ted laugh, Eva said, ‘Is it my birthday?’
Livvy frowned. ‘I don’t think so,’ she answered, looking at Jasmine. Then, brightening again, ‘No, it’s definitely not your birthday, so I’m guessing it must be our way of trying to say thank you for yesterday, which was absolutely fantastically brilliant.’
‘And for dinner last night,’ Jasmine added, ‘which was also absolutely fantastically brilliant, but we noticed that you didn’t eat very much, so we decided you must be starving by now.’
Eva could only wish that she was, for their sakes much more than her own, but she knew already that she was going to have as big a struggle as she’d had last night to manage more than a few mouthfuls. It was seeing Patty, then Don driving out of West Bay that had stolen her appetite, and the memory of it this morning was having the same effect all over again. However, she had to make an effort to get past it or she was going to end up spoiling this extended celebration for Livvy and Jasmine, which was the last thing she wanted. Today was almost as exciting for them – Livvy in particular – as yesterday had been, and already Livvy was tearing open the papers to show her how much coverage they’d received.
It was impressive, there was no doubt about that, and Eva had to admit the energy that seemed to be coming off the pages, as well as from Livvy and Jasmine, was actually starting to give her a buzz. She wasn’t particularly surprised to see so many library photos of herself from the early days, and a precis of what had happened to end her career was only to be expected. So she skipped past all that and found, to her great satisfaction, that not only had the show itself been given a full double-page spread in three of the tabloids, but Livvy’s flamenco dress had actually made the front cover of the Daily Mail. Almost equally pleasing was the fact that none of the contributing designers seemed to have been forgotten, and there was even a shot in one of the papers of Carrie-Anne holding up a pair of Livvy’s loons and declaring them the next big thing.
‘I can’t believe it! It’s so fab, fab, fab,’ Livvy shrieked, jumping up and down with joy. ‘I wonder if Dave’s seen it yet?’
‘I thought you weren’t going out with him any more,’ Jasmine piped up.
‘No, but we’re still good mates and I know he’ll want to see this. Oh, look! It’s us three. Oh my God, it’s a horrible one of me, but you look fantastic, Jas. And you, of course,’ she added to Eva.
Glowing with pride, and colouring to the roots of her hair, Jasmine looked at the picture, then at Eva. ‘I guess it’s lucky my mother doesn’t get this paper,’ she commented. ‘She’d go mental if she saw this.’
With a quick glance at Eva, Livvy said, ‘Someone’s bound to show her though. And anyway, what’s her problem? You’re enjoying yourself, which any mother ought to feel pleased about, and it’s not as if Eva’s even with your dad any more.’
Flinching inside, Eva said, ‘I take it she knew you were coming yesterday.’
Jasmine shrugged. ‘I told her, but whether or not she remembered is anyone’s guess.’
Eva and Livvy exchanged looks.
‘Actually,’ Jasmine went on, blushing again, ‘she’s never really very interested in anything I’m doing. I mean, she gets on my case about stuff all the time, you know like am I doing my homework, is my room tidy, where am I going every time I go out, but the next thing she’s on the phone to one of her friends, or she goes out somewhere and it’s like she’s forgotten I’m there.’
‘Is she cool about you coming here now?’ Livvy asked. ‘I guess not, if she’d go mental about seeing your picture in the paper.’
Jasmine’s colour deepened as she said, ‘I won’t tell you the kind of things she says now, because actually they’re almost worse than before, and I feel ashamed of how spiteful she can be. I mean, she knows what it’s like to be left so you’d think she’d be a bit more sympathetic.’
Swallowing dryly, Eva reached for Jasmine’s hand and gave it a squeeze.
‘Has she never met anyone else?’ Livvy ventured.
‘Yeah, she goes out with different blokes now and again, I think she does Internet dating, actually, but nothing ever seems to work out.’
Feeling for how lost she seemed, apparently hardly able to connect with her mother, and now finding it difficult with her father too, Eva said, ‘If you found it easier to stop coming here …’
‘No way am I going to give up my job and stay at home with her every weekend,’ Jasmine cried hotly. ‘Especially when she’s out half the time anyway.’
‘When’s she expecting you back?’ Livvy asked.
Jasmine’s eyes were still on Eva. ‘I told her I’ll be here till Sunday, if that’s OK. I’m on study leave today and tomorrow, so I thought I might as well do my homework here and then I can go into the shop as usual on Saturday. I mean, I can go home again and come back on Friday, as usual, if you’d prefer …’
‘You’re always welcome here,’ Eva told her warmly, ‘you know that.’
Clearly moved, Jasmine tried to hide it by looking at the picture of the three of them again. ‘It’s actually quite good of you, Livvy,’ she insisted. Then, ‘I wonder if Dad’s seen it yet.’
Getting to her feet, Eva went to help herself to more coffee. She’d have liked to be alone for a moment, free from having to put on a front, but knowing it would leave the girls feeling flat she pushed past the images of Patty and Don sharing breakfast together, and returned to the table.
‘I reckon we’re going to be rushed off our feet today,’ Livvy declared, flicking on the TV. ‘I wonder if there’s anything on Daybreak or Sky about our show.’
‘We only had the PR camera there,’ Eva reminded her, ‘but I guess they could have streamed their video over to a couple of the channels by now.’
‘I bet Livvy’s right,’ Jasmine commented, ‘you’ll get loads of people turning up today, so maybe I ought to come in with you.’
Smiling, Eva said, ‘Tell you what, why don’t you stay here and concentrate on your studies, and if things start getting out of hand at Perdita’s I’ll give you a call.’
‘OK, cool. Can I come in at lunchtime? I could bring sandwiches and stuff.’
‘Great idea,’ Eva agreed. ‘Is Coral in today?’ she asked Livvy.
‘This afternoon, if she’s recovered from her hangover by then. Jeez, did she put it away yesterday, and last night. Did you see her?’
‘She was on a real high,’ Eva smiled. ‘I think she’s very proud of her connection to the flamenco dress.’
Livvy grinned. ‘It was good that she joined us at the Riverside, wasn’t it? I was afraid it might seem a bit, you know, boring for you after all your mates had gone. Not that me and Jas are boring, you understand …’
‘I’m definitely not,’ Jasmine informed her.
‘No, me neither. In fact, I think we’re just about the most interesting people on the planet.’
‘Definitely,’ Jasmine agreed.
‘Absolutely,’ Eva chimed in, reaching for the phone. ‘Hello?’ she said, before checking the ID.
‘Hi, it’s me,’ Patty said softly.
Eva immediately stiffened.
‘I just wanted to congratulate you on the show’s success. I take it you’ve seen the papers this morning?’
‘Yes, we have, thank you.’
‘It’s great that it went so well. Livvy must be over the moon.’
‘She is.’
There was a long pause before Patty said, ‘Did you get my text?’
‘I did, thank you. I have to go now,’ and putting the phone down Eva felt herself starting to shake. Excusing herself she ran upstairs to finish dressing for the busy day ahead. She was going to push that phone call out of her mind right now and make sure not to let it back in again.
‘What are we going to do with all this food?’ Jasmine said, looking at the table in dismay. A beat later her eyes came up to Livvy’s, and as they realised they were thinking the same thing, they looked down to find two willing takers gazing innocently up at them.
Chapter Fifteen
For several weeks now Sadie Larch had been trying to pluck up the courage to speak to one of the girls who worked at Perdita’s on Saturdays, but so far it hadn’t worked out. She’d started off wanting to speak to the owner, Eva Montgomery, but she never seemed to be there at weekends, and Sadie couldn’t get over to Bridport on weekdays, thanks to school. She popped across in the evenings sometimes though, because her nan lived in West Bay, and she’d actually seen the girl called Livvy coming out of the gym one night. (She’d only found out her name a couple of days ago, from the papers.) Sadie had nearly nerved herself to go up to her that night, but when she’d realised Livvy was scared, she’d ended up backing off.
If it weren’t for the uppity new Saturday girl with serious attitude who’d thrown Sadie and her best mate, Tara, out of the shop a couple of months ago like they were shoplifters – shoplifters, the girl could die for that – then Sadie was sure she’d have made more progress by now. As it was, she and Tara had resorted to driving up and down the main road both sides of Bridport trying to find a big white house that overlooked the sea, which was about all they knew of it from the Where Are They Now? piece. In the end, though they hadn’t been able to see a house from the road, they’d decided it must be the one with the huge gates and massive white walls that had security cameras on the top. They’d been up there twice trying to find out if they were right, but still hadn’t found the nerve to ring the bell.
The trouble was, this could all turn out to be hugely embarrassing and even get Sadie into a shedload of trouble if she had it all wrong, which was why she’d decided, now that she knew this Livvy person was Eva’s niece, that it was best to speak to her first. Her cousin, Richie, still didn’t think she should speak to either of them, but she wasn’t going to listen to him, because she knew that deep down inside he actually really wanted her to.
Wasn’t it just typical, though? having made up her mind that she was going to approach Livvy this weekend, come what may – and let the uppity little ginger nut dare try and throw her out again – the whole bloody world was going to the shop, after the fashion show they’d had last Wednesday.