by M Dauphin
Now, I have to go home and have a talk with Braydon… A talk I’d rather never have to have.
By the time I get home, it’s dusk and Bray’s car is already home.
Here we go.
“Where have you been?” He meets me at the door, almost frantic, but unable to hide his excitement. “I’ve been calling and texting all afternoon.”
“I had some shit to take care of.” Legit shit… shit scum of the earth.
“Oh. Okay. Well… come on, it’s freezing!” He pulls me in, and can’t keep his hands off me, and as much as I’m feeling the warmth spread over my body, I can’t not tell him what I found out today.
“Bray, stop,” I say, shoving his hands off me. When I see the bright in his eyes dull, I realize I’m being a bitch. “Sorry, I just got some… ugh… nevermind. Tell me! How’d it go?!”
I’ll let him tell me his happy before I squash it with reality.
Goddamned Trixie.
Braydon
“So then the tour will start in three weeks. The new album will drop in one week. The bus will be here in a week or so to get final approval.” Christian hums and looks over the rest of the paperwork, as the band and I sit in his mediocre office. I’m not sure what we were thinking when we signed on with them, but it’s kind of been a joke and I feel like when this ‘bus’ arrives, it’s going to be yellow with black stripes on the side and a white roof.
We’ve been working our asses off for the last two months, ever since we signed on, and have seven songs and a planned tour to show from it. Sure, it’s great being paid more for our music, but, now that we’re writing for the man and not writing for us, it isn’t nearly as fun.
I turned to music because it was fun. Not because someone told me to do it. Hell, if I wanted to do what I was told to do my entire life, I’d be an accountant or some businessperson right about now.
“How long are the tour stops?” Nick asks.
Nick. A new band mate since signing. Apparently, we needed a keyboardist.
“Uh… you’ll be home by Christmas. Maybe. Definitely by New Years Eve.”
“So, gone for Thanksgiving for sure?”
“Yes. We’ll make sure you still get your turkey if that’s what you’re worried about.” The eye roll that Teg gives him makes me want to reach across the table and punch him. If he’s listened at all to Nick these last few weeks, he would’ve known about the kid’s grandma.
“Nah man, I just want to see my Nan. This might be her last holiday with us and all.” He shrugs, and I feel bad for the kid.
Then, it hits me.
I’m going to be on tour when my son is born. I’m… I’m going to miss his first Christmas.
Shit.
What am I doing?
Pulling out my phone, and ignoring the rest of the meeting, I message Al.
ME: What’s Trixie’s due date, again?
Al: November 15. Just a month away.
Grunting, I shove my phone in my pocket and suddenly want out of this meeting. I’m so damn happy with my life right now that missing my kid’s first Christmas isn’t really an option in my book. I’ve done my best to make sure my boy makes it to full term, but I think Trixie would be happy if he came out now. Dealing with her, and making sure she stays clean while pregnant, has been a pain in the ass these past few weeks, but I’m not backing down… Al will be involved if it means taking Trixie to court. She has this delusional view that we’re going to be together for the baby, but that’s not how this is going to work. She’s a massive fuck up, and I’m not sure how many more ways I can tell her that she’s going to share custody with me from the get-go. I’m not paying her shit if she doesn’t let me have my child half time at least. He might have been an accident, but he’s the best damn accident I’ve ever made. Last week, we went for the 3D ultrasound and got images printed out. Later that day, I came home and Alexis had printed one smaller and put it on a keychain for me, so now, everywhere I go, I have him with me. It’s so fucking weird, but I’m so damn in love with him and he isn’t even born yet.
“Hey, man, what if we push it back a bit? None of us want to travel the holidays and all of us have shit to do. Why don’t we just start in the new year? Have a New Years Eve bash or something to start it off?” I try, but I know he’s going to shoot me down. I bet he’s had these dates set from the day he signed us, even though he never ran any of them by us.
“No can do, Braydon. This is settled. Keep practicing, keep promoting yourselves. We leave on tour in a month.”
Fuck. Me.
After Christian leaves, and the band mates scatter, I head into my office to get some peace and quiet. Al’s been busy lately turning a room in my apartment into a nursery. The renovations to turn our building in to a single family home are underway, and she couldn’t be happier about it. She was a little bit hesitant at first when I came to her with the plans my friend drew up, but I knew the minute she started talking about painting walls that she was ready for a change.
This is a pretty big change, but she’s taking it great. We’ve been picking out paint schemes and details. In about a week, it should all be done and we’ll be sleeping in our bed at night. No more of this ‘my place’ ‘your place’ thing. It’ll be our place, and I’m too damn excited for it.
“So, uh… how’s it goin’, man?” Gabe walks in, and I want to throw the stapler at his face. Matter of fact, I’ve wanted to throw shit at his too pretty face ever since the day I found out about Trixie’s lifestyle habits while carrying my child. I’ll never get rid of Gabe, but I’m still pissed that he didn’t come to any of us sooner.
“Fine. Why?” I snip at him, tired of biting my tongue around these self-centered asshats. These boys aren’t involved with anyone serious. They have no family that they have to leave behind during the holidays. I don’t want to leave my kid AND the girl I love for the first holiday season I have with them.
“You just asked to postpone the tour, dude. We’ve been waiting for this shit for years.”
“Right. I don’t know what I was thinking,” I say, standing and collecting my shit. I’d much rather work from home this afternoon.
“So, you sure everything’s good?” He crosses his arms, and watches me, as I throw shit into my bag. I just need out of here. Out of this… place.
Away from him.
“Fine. I’m just stressed with everything going on. I’m heading out for the day. Text if you need anything.” I push past him, tossing my shit into the back hatch of my bike, and strap on my helmet. As my bike pulls away, I notice Gabe leaning on the doorframe to the back door of the bar, arms crossed and watching me intently, but I don’t wave. He knows something’s wrong, but, if he were a smarter man, he’d know why and wouldn’t have to ask.
“Hey, babe, I’m home!” I have to yell over the sounds of the saws and sanders going on in the background. I’ll be so glad when all this is over.
“Up here!” I hear her voice travel down the (now grand) staircase heading upstairs and grin. I love that she’s comfortable being in parts of this place that used to be mine when I’m not here. Granted, we’ve moved around almost every room, and re-designed the entire floor plan of this place, but we’re both still getting used to this new way of living.
“You’re off early.” She smiles up at me from her e-reader, pushing her reading glasses up to the top of her head.
Damn, she’s so fucking cute.
“I needed out of there,” I sigh. “They started talking about the tour…” I trail off, noticing a letter on the table in front of her. “What’s that?” She’s stopped talking about her hopes of modeling recently, instead pushing forward to work with some local disability charities she wants to help out.
“Um…” She grins, and nods at it. “Ya know, just another letter.” She shrugs, but the grin she’s wearing tells me it’s more than just a rejection letter.
Picking it up, I slowly read it over three times before realizing what it is.
Ms. Grant,
We would like to thank you for your recent inquiry into our modeling system. You name is one that has been in our thoughts these recent months, as Mr. Sheridan was a talented and loved part of our business. As of right now, there is no line that works with disabled members of society, but your vision to bring a positive outlook to those members suffering from limb loss or any other disability is very intriguing.
After speaking with the president and looking over the budget, we believe you would be a very valuable asset to our team. You are a well-known face suffering from a heartbreaking tragedy. All of America would love to see how you pushed past the anger and hurt to find yourself stronger and more self aware than before.
Please give us a call at the number listed at the top of the page to schedule your meeting. We look forward to working with you, Alexis.
Wendy Jacobs
Assistant CEO, Calvin Klein Inc.
Holy shit.
“Alexis, this is fantastic!” I drop the letter on the table, and swoop her up in my arms. “This is the best news ever!” Taking her beaming face in my hands, I kiss her hard. I can’t believe she fucking did it! I mean, I can… She’s beautiful and driven… but this is absolutely brilliant!
“It’s pretty cool, huh?” She looks nervous now that she’s finally gotten the letter she’s been waiting for for months.
“You’re going to rock that photo-shoot, Al. You’re beautiful, strong, and America will love you. You’ll see.”
She smiles and slaps my arm before heading downstairs to the kitchen. I follow her and, as we walk past some of the construction crew, I see some of the men stop the turn their heads, very obviously checking her out as she sways her ass.
“I’m working with another local chatiry, too. I hope we can work together with the people at Calvin. I really want to spread awareness that limb loss isn’t the end of the world for people.” She starts pulling out dinner as she talks. “This morning, I met a girl who was born without an arm from her elbow down. She’s only 9, and uses her prosthetic as well as anyone would use a regular arm, but she said she’s been starting to get a lot of stares and mean comments from other kids in the school. I hate that.” She slams a bowl down on the counter and huffs. “I just wish kids weren’t so mean.” She looks at me and smiles, shaking her head.
“You’re going to do your best, Al. I know this, and you know this. People are always going to be mean and not understanding about things they don’t quite grasp… about different things. You have to learn not to take it too personally, though.” Leaning on the island, I grin as she throws together the ingredients for her famous lasagna.
She only makes it when she has anger or stress to get out. I love that she’s getting her passion back.
“I know this. I’m not stupid, Braydon, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.” She sighs and wipes the hair out of her face. Her glasses slip down and land on her nose, making her curse and push them back up. I’m not even sure she knows how damn beautiful she is, even when doing these daily mundane tasks, but she is and all I can think of right now is ignoring the food and taking her right here on the granite countertop we just had installed last week.
We gotta christen it, right?
“Anyway, how was your day today?” She smiles up at me as she starts to layer her lasagna, and I want so badly to reach over and kiss her.
“Oh uh… it… So what would you think if I left the tour?”
“What?!” She drops the pasta layer into the sauce, splattering it all over her shirt. “Shit,” she fumbles, grabbing a wet rag to blot it off them looks at me with a shocked expression and gaping mouth. “What the hell are you talking about?”
I knew bringing this up wouldn’t be a good topic, and, since she’s all for people chasing their dreams, I know she’s going to fight me on it, but I can’t shake the feeling that it’s the best thing for me to do.
“Listen… We had a meting today, and they scheduled us to leave in a month. One month, Al. You know what else happens in exactly one month? The baby is born… my son… and I won’t even be here for it. Hell, I’ll miss his first Thanksgiving and there’s a possibility his first Christmas, too. What type of dad would that make me?”
Her eyes soften, and she grins sadly at me.
“Bray, you’ve finally got your dream, though. For years, all you’ve wanted was to be a bigger, signed band and make a name for yourself. Now that you have it, you’re gonna throw it all away?”
“I’m not throwing it away… I’ll stay in the band if they need me still, but I can’t do the tour. I can’t, in my right mind, not be here for this time of his life. Hell, had I known she was pregnant before we signed, I probably wouldn’t have signed. Shit’s changed a lot lately, and the band isn’t even as fun as it used to be. It’s like being forced to do something we used to do for fun has made it not… fun… anymore.”
“I know what you mean, but what about the other guys? Have you ran this by them yet?” She sets the cloth on the counter, and takes the stool next to me. Her soft hands, freshly manicured, take mine, and she looks at me with a sad understanding. A look that tells me she knows that I have to do just as much as I do, but she also knows it isn’t going to be easy.
“I haven’t. I think Gabe knows something’s up, but I haven’t broke the news to him yet.”
“So, you’re for real not doing the tour?” She’s holding back a grin, and I can’t help but smile at her. I know she probably thinks that I want her to be sad that I’m not going after a dream of mine, but dreams change. Now, my dreams consist of being a better man to Al, being a great father, and having a successful bar.
It’s weird how that happens.
A year ago, I would have wanted to punch myself in the face for pulling out of a gig like this, but now I don’t see any reason not to.
Hell, I’m having a kid!
“I’m for sure, Al. I mean… I guess I was waiting to run it by you first. I kind of like your approval for things.” I smile and sigh. “But, yeah, I’m really pulling out of the tour. I wouldn’t ever forgive myself for missing out on the newborn phase because I was too busy touring with a band.”
She smiles and leans over to kiss me. Her hand resting on my thigh makes me want to do other things to her immediately, but the food on the counter is taunting me.
I didn’t realize how damn hungry I am.
“I’m proud of you, Braydon. Proud of everything you are and everything you’ve become in this last year. Thank you.”
“What are you thanking me for?”
“For not being the self absorbed douche I used to think you were.” She smiles, and then pats me on the cheek.
“Ha!” I can’t stop laughing at her. Just when I think she’s gone soft, something like that comes out of her, and I’m reminded of why I’ve fallen so hard for this girl.
Alexis
“Mmmm, good morning to you, too,” I hum, reaching my hand around to grasp his morning wood. I’m not certain if he’s totally awake yet, but he will be soon. Slowly caressing him, he hardens more and groans in my ear.
“Tease,” he mumbles, his hand coming around me, resting on my bare chest.
“Not teasing at all.” I twist in his arms, and smile at him, kissing his nose, and then trail my lips down his neck. He shifts to his back, as I take my time worshipping his body.
His well-sculpted, inked, ridged beautifully hard body.
“Fuck, Al. I’m getting too used to waking up like this, baby.” His scruffy voice makes the warmth spread between my legs. I fucking love that voice.
“Good,” I whisper, before taking him in my mouth. Jesus Christ, he tastes good. Why women say giving head isn’t sexy is beyond me. They’re nuts. This is great.
“Holy shit,” he hisses when I start pumping him harder, wetting his shaft before using both my hand and mouth to completely work him into a frenzy.
Without warning, his hand wraps around my hair and he pulls up, making me pop off of him. Grinning, I crawl up h
is body and straddle him as I sink onto him.
“Fuuuck, woman,” he groans, his hands going to my hips to hold me still. “You wanna make me come this fast? Slow it down, or else I can’t promise you I’m gonna last any longer.” His voice is raw, and the look in his eyes is pure lust.
I love waking him up like this.
Slowly, I start to rock back and forth, twisting every now and then to give him every feeling possible. Letting him go as deep as he can, I moan, loving the feeling of him being buried inside of me. His hands suddenly pull me down to him, and then twist us so he’s on top. Jesus, this man has moves.
He pulls out of me, and starts kissing every part of my body. From my neck to my nipples, my waist to my wrist, his lips don’t miss an inch of my body. Leaving the best for last, when he latches on to my clit, I buck into him, screaming out with pleasure.
“Fuck, Bray!” My hands go his head as he plays me in only ways he knows how. I swear to God he’s got the best tongue out there. He brings me to the brink of orgasm, only to back away and smile up at me.
“Jesus Christ, you taste so damn delicious, baby.” Moving up my body, he pushes his lips to mine, so I can taste my wetness, which makes me even more needy.
“Just fuck me, Braydon.” Pulling him to me, he enters me slowly, but soon speeds up his pace until we are both panting and yelling out in ecstasy.
“Holy shit!” When the orgasm rips through me, my entire body shakes. I feel his release and squeeze as tightly as I can, making him groan and lean in, biting my shoulder as he rides out his orgasm.
“Holy flying fuck.” He’s panting and sweaty. I’m panting and sweaty. We’re both thoroughly fucked, and it feels fantastic.
“Yeah. I could totally get used to waking up like that every fucking day,” I say, smiling. He chuckles and kisses me before heading to the bathroom to get cleaned up.