by Anthology
The secret sits on the tip of my tongue, begging to be revealed, but I've always dreamed of telling my husband—or fiancé, in this case—that we're expecting.
Tonight will be perfect. The two of us lying by the fire, right after making love. His ecstatic face after I tell him he's going to be a dad fills my vision. That's it, I'll tell him tonight.
* * *
My eyes are mesmerized by the blue flames winding around the logs. I inhale a deep breath, finally ready to celebrate our baby news with Tanner.
Tanner's naked body slides under the blanket, and I lean back into his strong arms. His hand appears in front of me with a glass of red wine.
"Here you go." His moist lips sweep along my shoulder.
I grab the swirling cup of red liquid and set it down on the table beside the couch.
"Thank you," I say as our feet link and rub against each other.
We've grown comfortable as a couple these months together. Finding time to spend together hasn't been easy though. Between Tanner's extensive training hours and my lessons at night, most of our time is spent in bed ... sleeping. Imagine my surprise when the stick showed positive. Guess we did find some time for other things.
Our hectic schedules are the reason we set aside two weeks to come up to the mountains. We have the place to ourselves tonight, and after that, our time together will be spent with our families.
"This beer is pretty good." Tanner twirls the bottle in his hand, checking out the label of a local beer we picked up at the store. He downs another swig and my stomach clenches. There's only so long I can hide the fact that my glass of wine sits full on the table.
"Tan." I swivel to face him, and his smile warms every fiber of my being.
"Yeah, baby." He tucks a loose strand of my chestnut-colored hair behind my ear, his intimate touch causing me to shiver.
"I was looking at the calendar today."
"For a wedding date? I don't know, babe. I think we should wait until after Portugal."
He continues to peruse the label on the bottle. I want to grab it out of his hands and smash it into the fire.
"Maybe we could do it in Portugal."
What the hell am I talking about?
Fear grips my chest that I won't be in Portugal to see him stand on that pedestal to claim his gold because of our newborn.
"I would prefer to do it here. I'll be so tired after the Olympics, I might not be able to fulfill my husbandly duties." He winks and gently kisses me.
"Well, I wasn't looking at the calendar for the wedding date anyway."
His eyebrows furrow in confusion.
I inhale another deep breath. He'll be happy. I know he will be.
"Tanner, you're—"
A loud knock booms on the wooden door.
"Who could that be?" He hurries into his jeans and I wrap the blanket around me tighter. "Hold that thought, baby."
He disappears to the foyer of the log cabin.
I let out the breath I was holding. Maybe we weren't expecting a baby this soon, but we’re ready for it. My only fear is that Tanner puts pressure on himself, and if I’m at home with a crying baby while he's in Portugal, his head won't be in the game.
"Oh shit, did I interrupt?" Brad's voice rings through the empty house.
Crap. He wasn't supposed to be here until tomorrow night.
I crawl around the floor, picking up my scattered clothes.
"Don't go in there—" Tanner's warnings go unheard.
I hold the blanket firmly with one hand to conceal my body, my clothes in the other.
"Well, well. You guys making babies?"
Done that.
Brad stands on the other side of the couch and watches my face slowly redden.
"Why are you here?" I stand and scurry into Tanner's extended arms. He holds me securely to his side.
"I came early. Surprise!" He holds his hands in the air.
"Not a good one," I mutter, causing Tanner to snicker.
"Since when is seeing your brother not a good surprise?"
Brad plops down on the plaid couch and swings his feet onto the coffee table.
"Make yourself at home," Tanner remarks and then turns to me. "Why don't you go get dressed, baby?"
I nod.
"Feel free to go to bed early," I say over my shoulder, with the hopes that Brad realizes he's intruding.
"Where did you get this beer?" I hear Brad ask Tanner, and a beer bottle cracks open.
Great. My romantic night just turned into guys’ night.
I head up the staircase and collapse on the white, plush comforter once I'm in the sanctuary of our room. Just like every other time today when my thoughts have flickered to the baby, I cover my stomach with my hand.
I wish I could just blurt out the news to Tanner, but I want this to be a moment neither one of us will ever forget. That years down the road, when our child asks, we'll have this great story to tell them.
Restless, I sit up on the mattress, my feet dangling off the edge of the bed. Questions fill my mind. I wonder if my ankles will swell? I wonder how big my stomach will get? Will I be one of those lucky women that have a small bump, or will my ass get big? Even with all the dreadful things pregnancy does to your body, the excitement that a part of both of us is growing inside me brings an eternal smile to my lips.
"I love you," I whisper, my hand massaging my belly. "And once I tell your daddy, he's going to flip his lid."
I unzip my suitcase and put all of my clothes in the dresser. After I throw on a pair of pajama pants and a t-shirt, I venture down the hallway, where I can hear both of their voices echoing from the vaulted ceiling of the great room. Brad’s telling Tanner a story about something that happened on his way here, and then they both bellow with laughter.
As disappointed as I am that Brad interrupted us, it's nice to hear Tanner this happy. They don’t get to see each other very often, and I know he needs this time with him…and so do I.
I pad down the steps and then round the couch to climb onto Tanner's lap. After I get comfortably situated, he presses his lips against my temple and brushes his hands along my legs that are swung over his.
Tomorrow ... I'll tell him tomorrow.
Chapter Two
His fingertips trace up my leg and shivers erupt from their path. He disappears under the covers and his hands inch my pajama shirt up my body. His lips linger behind, casting kisses across my naked skin. I wiggle under his touch. He molds his hands to my breasts, squeezing and manipulating them, and my back arches because I need more.
Boy, do I get more. His tongue circles my clit, and my core clenches from the surprise of his mouth. His hands grab hold of my hips, and he pushes them down on the mattress. I wind his strands of brown hair around my fingers, tugging every time his tongue explores deeper.
"Ohh…" I moan as Tanner continues to stroke my clit with his tongue. "Don't stop," I whisper, conscious that we aren't by ourselves in this house. Brad is only two doors down, dammit.
Tanner nudges my legs wider, opening me up completely for him. A deep growl rises from his throat as his eyes take in all of me. He sucks my clit into his mouth and circles his tongue until a million fireworks are lit, ready to be shot off.
"Come here." I yank on his brown hair to pull him up, but he shakes his head.
Knowing Tanner won't let up until I've reached the grand finale, my head falls back against the pillow and I grip his hair tighter.
My fingers glue to his head as mini explosions burst inside me from his mouth. My orgasm rests on the edge of his manipulation. Every time my legs try to close, he forces them apart, letting me know he's in control. I love it when he's like this, the animalistic alpha that's going to take me how he wants.
He slides his finger down the length of my core and then slowly—painfully slowly—moves another into my depths.
"Tanner!"
"Shh." His other hand grazes up the length of my body and cradles my face. His thumb swipes across my bottom lip and my teeth scrap
e the pad of his thumb. He rubs it back and forth, and my teeth bite the tip of his finger when his tongue brings me to the brink, triggering my orgasm and causing my hips to fly up from the mattress. "Uh-uh," he says and continues to control the waves of pleasure inside me.
His fingers slowly leave my core and he places soft kisses on my stomach as he slithers up my body. He captures my mouth with his, and his tongue slides between my lips.
"Flip over, baby."
I obey and he doesn’t waste a second before yanking my hips up in the air. His fingernails slowly move down my back and goose bumps prick my skin.
SLAP. He spanks my ass and rubs the tingled skin.
He kneels closer to me and the tip of his dick nestles between my ass cheeks. He won't go in without a condom, and I wish I could tell him we don't need one. But this is definitely not the time for that.
"Shit, I'll be right back." He jumps off the bed and rifles through this bag. I reach over to the nightstand, keeping my body in the position he wants it. Grabbing a condom from the drawer, I hold it up in the air.
"Baby," I call out.
His mouth curves upward and he runs back over, snatching it from my hand.
"On second thought, I need to see you." He grabs a hold of my ankles and flips me over, dragging me to the edge of the bed.
I watch him put the condom on from between my legs.
My hand reaches down and I guide him into me. He draws his lower lip between his teeth and watches me seize control.
His fingernails dig in my hip and he jerks me further down to the edge of the bed and thrusts into me. He holds my legs in his powerful hands as he circles his hips and grinds into me. My eagerness grows more unbearable with each rotation. I twist the sheets in my hands and writhe under him, trying anything to make this last as long as I can.
Moans and groans fill the room and beads of Tanner's sweat drip from his forehead, falling on my stomach.
"Harder," I whimper, and he grabs my ankles, driving into me.
My body releases the whirl of sensation he brings over me.
The pained expression on his face tells me he's not too far behind. He releases my legs and they fall over the edge of the mattress. His pace slows and he thrusts into me one last time before he collapses in exhaustion on top of me.
"Good morning," he whispers, placing a soft kiss on my lips.
"Good morning."
His fingers brush the loose strands of hair from my face. "You okay?"
I swallow the guilt of keeping this secret from him. It’s not the perfect time. "Yeah, I'm great."
"You look like you have a lot going on up there." He taps my temple.
You'll know why soon enough.
Brad said he's going skiing first thing this morning. Our parents are flying in late afternoon. Which means, once Tanner returns from his morning workout, we'll have a nice breakfast and I'll tell him our news.
Last night, Tanner fell asleep the second his head hit the pillow. So while his snores bounced off our walls, I Googled ways to tell significant others that you're pregnant. I probably shouldn't have ordered the silly t-shirts, but I couldn't resist. Especially the onesie stamped with "My dad can beat your dad’s butt at swimming." Our families will get a hoot out of them when they arrive in two days. I have a feeling they'll be the most popular Christmas gifts this year.
I scoot up in bed and lean against the headboard, watching Tanner dig through the drawers for his swimsuit. Yes, I'm the considerate fiancé that unpacked his clothes last night while he was sound asleep.
"You checking me out?" he asks, peeking over his shoulder.
"Yep."
For years I had to sneak looks at this gorgeous Adonis in front of me. Now he's mine, and I take great pleasure that I can stare as much as I want.
"Good."
He struts over to me, naked as the day he was born, his Speedo balled up in his fist. My teeth bite down on my bottom lip as I gawk at him.
"Come with me to the pool." He steps into his Speedo and sits on the bed.
"I would love to, but I was going to make you breakfast."
He raises his eyebrow and I shove him in the chest.
"Be quiet. I've come a long way."
He grabs my hand and pulls me close to him. "You have. I love your cooking." I snuggle in his embrace. "You know, after I’ve already eaten." Laughter pours out of him before he can even finish talking.
He kisses the top of my head and I draw back. "Be quick?"
"I will. I had a tough workout yesterday with Greg."
Greg is Tanner's kick-ass trainer and coach. He’s the one who got him into the Olympic competition.
Stretching his arms over his head, Tanner says, "I'm still a little stiff, in fact."
I start to climb out of the warm, cozy bed and my feet retract as soon as they hit the cold floor. I bend over, looking for my pajamas, which I recall being shoved in between the sheets. Tanner comes up behind me and pushes his dick against my ass. "And getting stiffer by the second."
I stand upright and his hands cup my breasts. His thumbs roll my nipples and my head falls to his shoulders. "I'll be back soon, and I'd like you to be naked when I get back," he whispers.
"Breakfast in bed sounds great."
He kisses the top of my shoulder and my body tingles with anticipation for him to return.
"Bye, babe."
I hold his head hostage and he continues to sprinkle kisses along my shoulder.
"Bye." I reach behind me and cradle his dick in my hands, my thumb rolling along the tip. I'm already getting wet again.
"You are making this difficult."
"That's the point," I say.
His hand grips my waist and he swings me around. He presses his lips to mine and our tongues instantly collide. I’m disappointed when he ends the kiss, because butterflies are still stirring in my stomach.
"I'll be right back." His eyes cloud with frustration. Our schedules never do align these days.
"Hurry."
He stops at the door, one hand on the doorknob, the other rubbing down his face. "After I win the gold, we're staying in bed for at least a week."
With a baby in between us.
A half smile creases my lips and he shuts the door behind him.
I hit my toe against the foot of the bed and then hop over to the nightstand to check the time on my phone. I have at least an hour, but probably closer to two. Tanner pushes himself harder than the trainers.
I put on a pair of thermal socks and venture downstairs to put my plan in action. Limping, I slip on the hardwood floor with my cozy socks but catch myself with the railing. A smile forms on my face finding Brad already up and dressed for skiing. Thank goodness he’s still leaving. Otherwise, my plan would be ruined … again.
"You heading out?" I ask, breezing by him on my way to the kitchen.
"Yeah. Tan's meeting me later, but I just need to get out and do something active." He follows me to the kitchen.
"The job getting to you?"
Brad works for an engineering company, so most of his days are spent just sitting at his desk. I know it's hard for him, but maybe if he had someone to come home to, he'd enjoy it more.
"It sucks. I mean the job is good, but some days I don't even see sunlight."
He grabs a banana off the counter and begins to peel it.
"How’s it going with Taylor?"
"I'm here, aren't I?"
He found her again after two years and then allowed her to keep him at arm’s distance. They're at a crossroads, and I hope the two of them can figure it out. They’ve both made mistakes with one another, but they truly are meant to be together.
"It's Christmas." I sigh. Tanner and I had hoped they would put their differences aside and we'd find them on the porch together, more in love than ever. I guess not.
"You think I don't know that, Pipe?" He crosses his ankles and then uncrosses them again.
I walk over to him and place my hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry
. I just know—"
"Stop. Please just stop with the ‘we’re meant to be’ shit. It's over, and both of you need to accept it."
He tosses the uneaten banana in the trashcan and walks to the back door, then turns around. "I'm sorry," he murmurs.
I want to tell him it's all going to turn out okay, but I don't want to make any more promises I can't keep. So I don’t say anything.
"It just hurts." His head falls between his shoulders and tears prick my eyes at the sight of my brother in such despair.
I step forward, but he swings the door open and plows through it before I can attempt to comfort him.
"I know," I mumble to myself.
I check the clock on the microwave and realize I don't have much time to get the buns in the oven. Running around the kitchen, I grab the pre-made cinnamon rolls I bought yesterday. I spray the pan, place them in, and toss the pan in the oven.
With a magazine to keep me busy, I relax on the couch until the "buns" are done. It took me a few months to get accustomed to the whole cooking thing, but I've improved slightly. At least I don't think I'll actually give Tanner food poisoning anymore. I'm hoping Tanner's mom and my mom will teach me some tricks over the holidays.
While the buns cool, I check the directions on my phone for the most critical part. I put the icing in a Ziploc bag, cut off the tip and write "You + Me = Baby" on top of the buns. After I place the frosting bag in the fridge, I stare down at my masterpiece. Somehow, seeing it written makes it even more real. Giddiness radiates inside me, and I think if Tanner walked through the door right now, I'd blurt it out. That would totally suck after all this planning.
I wait to make sure the oven is cool so the icing won't melt. Hiding the buns back in the oven, I check the time. The scent of cinnamon rolls floats through the space, and I light the Christmas candles supplied by the resort to mask the scent. If he went hunting for them without me seeing his reaction, it'd be worse than if I just blurted it out.
My foot slips as I start up the stairs and I bang my shin on the wooden steps. Damn socks. When I reach the bathroom, I flick the shower on, undress, and step inside the tub. I jump up and down under the cold water that’s streaming through the showerhead. The water slowly turns lukewarm, and as I begin to lather soap across my body, my hands stop on my belly. I wish they were Tanner's hands covering the spot our baby is growing, instead of mine. We’ve been through a lot together and I can’t wait to experience parenthood with him.