Mrs. Jarvis was so full of feeling that she didn't even know if she could get the words out. Sensing her agitation, Theophilus continued to clutch her hand, willing her the courage to begin.
"Giving honor to God and asking all of you to pray my strength," she began, "I want to share with you just what the Lord has done for me. Now there ain't a soul in here who don't know that Jarvis died. And you all know that I always said my Jarvis was a gift from God. That I believed with all of my heart that one of the ways the Lord had blessed me was to let me experience the love of my dear departed husband, Zechariah Jarvis."
Folks in the congregation looked at each other with the same question on their faces and lips: "Mr. Jarvis's name was Zechariah?"
"Jarvis left me to go home. And Lord, Lord, Lord! That thing just about killed me. I been married sixty-five years and I can truly say that each year, from day one to year number sixty-five, were pure joy. Pure blessed joy. And when Jarvis passed on, I thought I would die of a broken heart."
Several of Mrs. Jarvis's close friends nodded, acknowledging how worried they had been and how they had feared, at one point, that she would just shrivel up and die, she was so sad.
"But one night I was laying in bed, face drenched with tears, and I got up and went and sat in Jarvis's favorite chair and just started talking to Jesus. Church, I talked to Jesus like I'm talking to you."
One of the women ushers raised her hands and said, "Chile, that is the only way you can really talk to Jesus."
Mrs. Jarvis dropped Theophilus's hand to wipe at the tears that were streaming down her face. Her voice broke when she said, "I was mad at the Lord and told Him that, too. Said, 'Jesus, I know we all have our crosses to bear but this cross is just too much for me. And You said Your burdens were light. Well then, Jesus, if that really is so, why haven't you come through for me and lifted the burden of this pain and sorrow off of my shoulders?' And then, church, you know what I did?
"Church, I got up out that chair and shook my hand up at the Lord. And I said, 'Jesus, I can't take no more. And, Lord, right now, I don't want to take no more. I can't stand this pain and I want to die. I want you to put me out of my misery and just take me now. Just let the life come out of me and throw this old body down on the floor and let me die.'
"And then, church, I threw my own self on the floor— bumped my head pretty bad, too—and waited to be dead."
The same usher called out, "Chile, you sho' was in some bad shape, throwing your self all on the floor like that."
"Yes, church, I just stayed on that floor like that, waiting to die, hurting so bad, and mad at the Lord. And, church, do you know what my God did? Church, first, the Lord let me sleep. Put me in a deep sleep until the next morning. And when I woke up, the Lord just whispered to me, 'Callie, it ain't your time to go. You had sixty-five years of love, good lovin', and sweet memories. You been blessed with the kind of love I wish all of My children had. Callie, you understand down to the bone what so many only get a glimpse of in their entire lives. Callie, you have a calling while you still here. I want you to teach My children about this kind of love and where it really comes from—Me. All of that love you have for Zechariah got to be shared in this way. And when it get rough, I will comfort you in the way that I know you need comforting.'
"And, church, the Lord gave me that comfort at that very moment. He anointed me and blessed me with the ability to close my eyes and see my sweet Jarvis just like he was sitting right here in front of me. And he gave me a miracle. Made it so I can always close my eyes and hear Jarvis's voice, remember it, just like he standing there when I need to.
"So, church, I stand here today to tell you that God is real. And if you will trust in Him and come to Him with all your troubles, even when you mad at the Lord, He will deliver. He will deliver you. I am a living testimony of that."
She raised her hands high in the air and just started praising God. The spiritual fire radiating from her was so powerful it began to spread out. Theophilus reached out to hug her and felt that fire run all up and down his body, making him cry and thank the Lord for his own blessings. And he wasn't the only one affected—the whole church seemed in tune with the testimony, shouting and praying and crying, sensing the presence of the Lord in their midst.
When the moment finally passed and everyone calmed down, Theophilus dispatched the ushers to collect the morning offering. As they began to circulate through the congregation, he decided it was time to address the gossip that had sprung up the moment Essie had arrived that morning and had spread like wildfire by the time the service began.
"Church, I just want to say something about my wife this morning—about that new purple Cadillac she drove to church. I been hearing little bits and pieces about what you all are thinking and saying and just know in my heart that I need to deal with it before we all leave today.
"First of all, you should know that I bought that car for the First Lady with money I saved from all my extra preaching around Memphis and in Mississippi. Now if I want to work myself like that, while keeping my duties as your pastor, just so I can buy my wife a fancy car, then that is between me, the First Lady, and the Lord. Is that clear, church?"
"Yes, Lord, as clear as a crystal stream in the Bible," one choir member said, drawing chuckles from the congregation.
"But there's another thing I want to tell you today. You've all heard me preach about civil rights, and many of you have contributed to the movement, either on the front lines in Mississippi or in the background here, housing and feeding the workers. That fight is vital, one of the most important struggles in the history of the United States, to win our people the fundamental human right to social and political equality.
"But there is another right we don't talk about as much, and that's the right to economic equality, ensuring that Negroes can lead prosperous lives—and just as importantly, feel worthy to lead prosperous lives. Maybe you're thinking that I sound like Rev. Ike . . ."
Laughter erupted here and there in the church, but most people were listening expectantly.
"That's right. I have to agree with Rev. Ike on those points—I believe that Negroes are entitled to some good living while we are here on God's earth. For Rev. Ike, prosperity might mean six Cadillacs and a twenty-room house, but to me it's more complicated than that. True prosperity means knowing in your heart that God will help you and meet your need whenever and whatever that may be. Of course it's also a good thing when you are in your right mind, being loved, feeling good, eating good food—having spiritual well-being as well as a little more money than just enough to get by. It's good to have a comfortable home, a good woman, a few good suits, a reliable and decent-looking car—"
"Like that purple Cadillac," one of the old men cackled.
"Yes, like that," Theophilus said. "But most of all, to be prosperous, a man needs to have the Lord, not material goods, planted firmly in the center of his heart."
Chapter Seventeen
AUGUST 1963 AND THE TRIENNIAL CONFERENCE rolled around so fast, Essie and Theophilus found themselves scrambling around at the last minute, struggling to get ready. It seemed like their entire church was going, and both of the rented buses had filled up fast. For Theophilus, the conference would be a professional and a personal watershed. Sister Willie Clayton was now waging an all-out war against him—which couldn't hurt him as long as he had the protection of Bishop Jennings— but it was hurting Rev. James, his mentor, who was running for bishop. Willie had invested a considerable sum to defeat Rev. James and was backing Rev. Ernest Brown, Marcel's father.
With all the trouble that was brewing, Essie and Theophilus decided to drive down to the conference alone, in her car, rather than with the Thomases or other members of the congregation. They needed to pull together their spiritual resources.
One consolation was that the conference was being held in Theophilus's hometown, Richmond, Virginia. Essie's folks—Lee Allie, Uncle Booker, Mrs. Neese, and Mr. Pompey—along with Mr. D.S. and Mrs. Coral
Thomas, were all staying with his mother and father. He couldn't imagine where they would put everybody, but Larnetta, his mother, put his mind at ease. "Baybro, we are country folks. We'll manage just fine. In fact, with good company like Coral, D.S., and Essie's people, I'd say we'll be doing better than just fine."
Essie and Theophilus were going to stay with his sister, Thayline, and her husband, Willis. But they were still an hour away when Theophilus, exhausted from preparing for the conference and from driving most of the way, felt too beat to go another mile. He switched places with Essie, and by the time they reached Thayline's house, he was sound asleep.
Essie turned off the engine and pushed on his shoulder to wake him up. He didn't budge. She pushed on him some more and then poked him with her elbow, catching a relaxed spot on his arm, where his biceps were usually hard and pushing up against the sleeves of his shirt.
"Ouch! Baby? Why you poking me in my arm like that?" "Wake up, we're at Thay's house."
Hearing the car roll in, Thayline and Willis came out of the house. Willis came down off the porch and started unloading their luggage as Thayline, a female version of her little brother, pulled her housecoat around herself and said, "Baybro, you planning on spending the night in the car? Or can you get out and help us with these bags—half of which I believe belong to you?"
Theophilus didn't say anything to his sister. He didn't like hearing his sister's mouth. Thayline had been getting on him about one thing or another since they were little kids. He sat up, rubbed his chin and moved his jaw muscles around for a few seconds.
Essie opened her door and got out, causing Theophilus, who had been leaning against her, to fall over on the seat.
"Baby, why you let me drop down like that?"
Essie just looked at him, fighting the urge to roll her eyes. "I'm tired and not in the mood to hear any mess from you," she said.
"That's right," Thayline contributed. "The rest of us are tired, just like you, Theophilus."
Finally Theophilus got out of the car, grumbling to himself. "First Essie poking me in my arm and Thay worrying me about some luggage and everybody complaining because they're tired . . ."
He was still annoyed that Essie had poked him so hard and it made him crankier still that she had spoken to him so sharply. He wondered what was eating at her.
The smell of coffee, pancakes, and bacon wafted its way up Essie's nose, luring her out of a heavy slumber into that drifting-in-and-out phase of sleep. At first she couldn't tell if the bacon and pancake smells were real or part of her dreams. But the weight of the brown leg swung casually over her hip let her know that she was awake and those smells were as real as the man lying next to her. The breeze circulating around the room from the open window was chilly. She pulled the spread up over her shoulders.
Theophilus moved around and pulled her into the warm spot between his legs, letting his fingers travel leisurely down her bare arms and the length of her back to rest around the contours of her bottom. A soft sigh escaped from his lips as he pressed her body into his, enjoying the feel of her own soft warmth up next to him. He rolled over on his back and pulled Essie on top of him, making the bed creak loudly from the combined weight of his body and hers.
"What's wrong?" he whispered in her ear when he realized how tense she had become.
"The bed creaks every time you move around."
"And?" he murmured, pulling at the narrow strap of her pale yellow nightgown.
"And someone might hear us."
"Hear what?" he said, his voice half filled with sleep, half filled with desire. "You think somebody might hear me in this room with my wife? Is that what they will hear, Essie?"
"Well . . ." she said kind of hesitantly.
"Well, you worry too much," he said softly and pulled one of her legs up so that her knee rested on the side of his waist.
Essie relaxed a little and Theophilus pulled the opposite knee up to his waist and whispered, "Is that quiet enough for you?"
When she didn't say anything, he pulled the nightgown up to her waist, slipped his hands inside her underwear and wrapped his hands around her bare bottom. He always wondered why his wife wore panties under such sexy nightgowns— especially those come-up-to-the-waist cotton panties she seemed so fond of sleeping in. He knew that as long as he lived, he would never fully understand the ways and thinking of women.
He was about to ease off her underwear when Thayline yelled from the kitchen. "Baybro! Baby doll! Breakfast almost ready. You two better get up and come eat before your food starts to get cold."
"Shoot," Theophilus growled. His sister had the worst timing of anyone he knew.
Essie pulled away from him and said, "We'll be right there, Thay."
Theophilus sat up in the bed watching Essie get herself straight. He decided that he would take his time so Thay would know he was not happy.
Essie threw his robe over to him, shaking her head at him for sitting there acting like a spoiled brat. She thought to herself, "Now, this is the same man who just told me that he was ready to take over the pastorship of the church in St. Louis, if Bishop Jennings sends him there by the end of this conference. And here he is sitting on the bed with his lips poked out like he's thirteen years old."
Theophilus saw the look on Essie's face and got up and put on his robe. He decided acting funky wasn't such a good idea after all. He wanted to stay on her good side so that he could get a full serving of good loving later.
Essie handed Thayline the last skillet to be washed and then went and pulled the dirty linens off the table. She dropped the napkins on a chair and shook out the tablecloth, dumping crumbs on the blue and yellow linoleum floor.
Thay looked over her shoulder and said, "Baby doll, just put those old things over there in that corner. I'll throw them in the washing machine a little later."
Essie looked around. "Where's your broom?"
"It's over there in the broom closet."
Essie opened the yellow closet door and pulled out a yellow broom with a black rubber handle on it.
"Baby doll, you think you gonna like St. Louis?"
Essie stopped sweeping. There had been a lot of talk lately among Theophilus, Bishop Jennings, and Rev. James about St. Louis, but she didn't know if they were going or not. So much of the decision to send Theophilus to St. Louis depended on whether or not Rev. James was elected bishop at this conference. How would Thay know they were going?
"You sound awfully sure about all of this, Thay," she said. "Know something I don't know?"
"No, just a feeling I got—can't shake it, either. You know how I get those sensations running up and down my spine when something's up."
Thay was famous for those feelings. The last time she had one, Theophilus had proposed to her at that wild anniversary dinner his church held at Mabel's Kitchen. But Essie didn't want Thayline's premonition to be right this time. Garrison Temple in St. Louis had so much infighting going on inside its four sacred walls that the current pastor was asking to be moved to another church, any church, anywhere. This was not the kind of church, despite its size and level of prestige, one begged to be appointed to.
"You don't want to go, do you, baby doll?"
Essie didn't say anything, just moved the broom around a little pile of trash.
"You know, baby doll, I thought you'd be relieved to leave Greater Hope. I never thought you'd want to stay at a church where one of the members wouldn't let a soul forget she slept with your husband. What woman would? That Glodean Benson is nothing but a crazy tramp—"
Essie was so quiet that Thayline looked over to check on her. There were heavy tears rolling down Essie's cheeks.
"Me and my big mouth. Baby doll, I didn't mean for that to come out like it did. You know I wouldn't want to say something to hurt you like that."
Essie put the broom against the wall and sat down. "It's not you, Thay. But I wonder what's going on with Theophilus lately. He has been nicer to Glodean, and once or twice I've even heard him talkin
g to her on the telephone, asking her if she was all right. And right before we left for Richmond, I found these in the glove compartment of my new car."
Essie dug down in the pocket of her robe and pulled out a glamorous-looking pair of pink sunglasses with rhinestones sprinkled around the rim. She handed the glasses to Thayline, who also had to acknowledge who they belonged to. No one would wear sunglasses like those except Glodean.
"What else do you know about this, baby doll?" Thayline asked.
"Only," Essie said, blowing her nose, "only that he called me from the church one evening and said not to wait up for him. Had something pressing to take care of—and the next morning, I found these. Thayline, why would my husband let that woman ride in my car? How—"
"You know for sure she was in the car, baby doll?"
"I'm sure," Essie said. "Her perfume . . . I smelled it as soon as I got in my car."
Thay put her arm around Essie's shoulders and let her cry. She knew she was angry with her brother not for fooling around with that nasty heifer—he couldn't stand her she knew—but for having contact with that thang and not telling Essie why.
"Baby doll, does Baybro know you upset about this?"
"He doesn't even know I found the sunglasses," she confessed.
"Why didn't you ask him? You always speak your mind. Why hold on to some mess like this now?"
"I don't want Theophilus to think that I can't handle Glodean and her mess. You should see how some of the women in our church get all up in his face. They will come up to him and act like I'm not even standing there—grinning and asking for crazy mess like special, private prayer sessions with him at their house. One fool even had the nerve to request a private baptism at her house in her bathtub.
"But Glodean Benson is something else. It's like she got some big secret on Theophilus. Make me feel like she know things about him that I don't even know how to find out, let alone know."
"What kind of things?" Thay asked, getting madder at her brother about this mess. He knew better.
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