by R. A. Boyd
“I live about half a mile up that way,” Cass said, breaking the long string of thoughts in Jax’s head. “You’ll make a left once you get to Deerborne. And it’s all downhill from there, so you’ll probably want to just drop me off at the top of the street so you won’t get stuck.”
Jax watched as she leaned forward and let the heat from the vent blast her full in the face. Her shoulder length coily hair blew this way and that, and his fingers itched to grab hold of a lock and pull it to his nose. She might not like that just yet. He was mesmerized by her ease as she sat between them. Her lovely caramel skin reminded him of silk, and her soft cheeks were becoming less and less rosy.
“Am I hogging the heat?” she asked, glancing at Jax as he watched her.
With a slow blink, he gazed down at her full lips and then back to her eyes. “No,” he murmured. “Want me to cut it up some more?”
She unbuttoned her coat and shook her torso as if letting in the warm air, and damn-it all if Jax didn’t want to sink his face in between her ample bosom and breathe her in. “No, I’m good. The heat feels good.” She turned to Damon. “You all buckled up?”
Damon pulled his lips in and nodded his head. “Yep. I’m good.”
Jax smirked. Damon was hypnotized by this woman just like he was, and was trying not to behave like the drooling psycho he knew he could be. Damon had a cooler head than Jax, but he was just as deadly. At least they usually were. After only ten minutes with Cass, they were puppies when it came to her.
They drove in a comfortable silence. The radio was cut down so low that even Jax with his impeccable hearing could only hear the bass of the music. Absently, Cass hummed to herself as they got closer to her street.
“Turn here,” she pointed left, “on Deerborne. And here I am on the right.” She took a deep breath, shrugging her shoulders up to her ears, and looked back and forth between them. “Thanks for the ride. I’d still be walking and freezing if it weren’t for you two.”
Damon got out as Jax unbuckled her seatbelt. Reaching across her, he was so close to her face that she had to sit back a little to avoid her breasts rubbing against his shoulder. When Jax looked at her, she smiled and inhaled so deeply that it pressed her breasts tightly against her shirt. He wondered if she’d done it on purpose. The scent of pheromones washed off of her in waves that pulsed against him like her heartbeat.
He nodded to Damon, and when she turned around she noticed he had his hand outstretched, reaching for her. “I’ll help you down,” Damon said.
Jax watched his lifelong friend grab her by her waist and gently settle her on the ground. He turned around, and when he tried to get out of the truck he almost choked himself on the still buckled seatbelt.
“Good job, genius,” Jax whispered to himself. He couldn’t focus. Once he was free he hopped out of the truck and grabbed her bags.
She was standing in the snow quietly talking with Damon. He walked over and stood next to them, listening to her thank him again.
Her house sat by itself surrounded by hedges. Single-family homes littered the street with large front and backyards. Cass’s was a two-story redbrick house with beige columns that held up the porch. The short driveway lead to a single car garage attached to the house. Garland and artificial candles sat in the windows, and the curtains were drawn so you couldn’t see inside. But he could make out the shadow of a Christmas tree in a downstairs window. The grass and bushes were covered with snow, and it made the house look like a cozy Christmas card.
“Ready for Christmas already?” Jax asked.
She huffed a laugh and rolled her eyes with a playful gesture. “My niece came to visit early this year. She usually spends Thanksgiving break with me and we decorate, but she and her friends are going to New Orleans instead. She came to help me put up the tree and everything and then headed back to school to get ready for her midterms. Guess she knew I wouldn’t have done it on my own.”
Jax nodded and cleared his throat. “Need help taking those in the house?” he asked, pulling the bags further up his arm.
Cass puffed out her cheeks and pulled in her bottom lip. When she finally spoke, it was with uncertainty. “No, I’m good,” she said, reaching out to take the bags. “You guys should go. This stuff is coming down even faster. The forecast called for eight to ten inches, but if this keeps up we’re going to top that. Maybe I’ll see you around at the store. One day. I hope.”
Her bashful nature was cute as all get-out.
Jax wanted to reach out to her, pull her to him, and let her know that it was okay to invite them in. He could tell she wanted to, but she was afraid. Not afraid that they’d hurt her. No. The scent of her fear wasn’t acrid. It was just shy.
He kicked some of the snow off his boot and knew how he and Damon would come back to her. The idea morphed into his head and he wanted to fist bump the air. They’d come and shovel her property in the morning, and offer to take her car to a mechanic. He nodded to himself, proud of how fast he’d come up with seeing her again without looking like a stalker.
Jax patted Damon on the shoulder. “Come on, man. Let’s go.”
Their connection told him that Damon didn’t want to go, but they both said their quick goodbye’s and got back in the truck.
Chapter 3
Cass almost squealed in joy as she watched their truck get stuck going up the kill. The wheels spun, shooting out dirty snow this way and that, and the tail end swayed back and forth as if it were dancing with the flying snow. The truck backed up and then surged forward again, this time causing the front of the vehicle to spin out. The smell of burning tires wafted toward her, and a smile cracked her face.
“Do you two manly men want coffee?” she whispered quietly, joking with herself and trying not to giggle like a crazy person.
Heck, she felt crazy. These two men had done something to her that she never imagined could be done. On this craptastic November 18th, she never thought she’d smile again; never thought she’d experience the joy of anything that could happen on this day and the next. And when they’d touched her, woo-doggie that had set something on fire inside of her for both of them.
She thought she should feel slutty for wanting both of them, together or separately, but she didn’t. She imagined Damon kissing her deeply as Jax worked his way down her body, spreading her wide, and putting his head between her legs. The thought alone made her cheeks and ears burn like lava. She put her gloves, scarves, and hat inside the bags, opened her door, and shoved her bags just inside before closing it behind her. She walked toward the two sexy giants that gave her a ride. When she got to the window she watched them talk for a moment, Damon’s hands animated as he pointed to which way Jax should turn the wheel.
When they turned to look at her, she was smiling and giving them the universal hand motion to roll down the window.
“Hey,” she said, shrugging and feeling foolish. “You guys want to come in for coffee or something? To warm up? Then you can try again later to move your truck. I’ve got shovels in the garage.” In silence, they regarded her strangely, and like lightning she amended her words. “Or you could just use the shovels, because if you stay here then the snow would just keep falling and then you’d really have trouble getting yourselves out. So I’ll just get the shovels and bring them to you so you can get home,” she said, rambling.
They looked at each other and Cass was mortified. They probably thought she was a horny idiot.
Jax broke the silence. “We’re going to see if we can get the truck back to your house so it won’t sit here in the middle of the street. Coffee sounds good.”
Her eyebrows shot up and her mouth went round, seeming surprised that they accepted. “Coffee sounds good?” she said, now backing toward her house and pointing at it with her thumbs. “Coffee sounds good. Umm… just come on in. I’ll put the food away.”
She turned and almost fell in the snow, but recovered her footing by grabbing hold of Mr. Grubber’s, her neighbor from three houses up, old h
atchback that sounded like a motorcycle. She apologized to the car, and with careful strides walked back to her house.
Shaking her head and cursing herself for her clumsiness and for apologizing to an inanimate object, she scolded herself at her lack of coordination. “Smooth move, Cass.”
Once she made it inside her house and took off her boots, she ran the food to the kitchen and started quickly tidying up. She hadn’t fully unpacked her suitcase from her trip. It sat wide open in the middle of the living room floor, clean and dirty laundry separated in laundry bags on two sides, neatly packed individual baggies with her toiletries and shoes, and a container full of candied almonds she’d planned on eating with her ice cream. She slammed the bag closed and shoved it into the corner.
“Oh, my gosh,” Cass whisper-yelled. Three bras and her new vibrator sat on the living room table. She’d ordered them before she left and just had the time to open them before she made her snowy trek to the market. Jax and Damon would have to walk past them when they came in through the front door, and dang-it, she could hear the crunch of their boots as they walked up onto her porch.
With the speed of a sex deprived maniac who forgot she only had on socks, Cass ran toward the table and skidded past it as she slid on the newly polished hardwood floors. Instead of stopping just shy of the table, her socks kept her moving and she slid underneath of it.
“Are you okay?” she heard Damon yell. “Jax, can you see him?”
See who, she wondered. Maybe Mr. Grubber saw her grab hold of his truck, and the two Adonis-like men walk into her house, and now he was giving them his standard evil eye. “I’m—I’m fine! Please, take your shoes off at the door and leave them on the carpet,” she yelled triumphantly, knowing it would give her a cool twenty seconds to get herself from off of the floor and put the bras and vibrator away.
Shimmying her way from under the table, she grabbed her unmentionables, crawled over to her suitcase, and shoved them in. Breathing hard and knees aching from banging on the floor, she sat there for a moment and smiled.
“Did you fall?” Jax asked as he entered the room with Damon behind him whose eyes were locked to the top of her staircase.
She looked over there as well, but only saw her wizard robe hanging on the banister. He probably thought she was a nerd. She was. And she was proud of it.
With her legs crisscross applesauce on the floor, she smiled up at Damon as he walked toward her. “I did, but I’m fine. Go on and have a seat. I’ll get coffee.”
She balked as he bent down, grabbed under both of her arms, and pulled her to standing. He picked her up like she weighed nothing. Cass was no small woman. She had an hourglass shape; wide hips, thick thighs, and an ass made for dirty dancing. Her sister kept telling her that she needed to eat healthier. Cass walked two miles on her treadmill most days and lifted light weights on the others.
She didn’t turn down her favorite dishes but she did practice eating in moderation. She’d gone on crash diets as a teenager, but no matter what she did her body tended to be on the big girl side. Now, Cass was comfortable in her skin and vowed after making herself sick from taking diet pills and living on soup for three weeks back in high school that she would never do anything to make people accept her. They could go kick rocks if they couldn’t take her for who she was.
Cass wanted to be embarrassed as Damon effortlessly pulled her from the floor, but she couldn’t find it in herself to care. Inside she was practically panting at how close he was to her. She went to pull her hands from his once she was standing but he gave a small squeeze of resistance.
Cass could see a twinge of panic on his face. Was he ashamed that he didn’t want to let her go? She didn’t want him to. To comfort him, and with no thought to it, Cass slid one hand up his arm, up his neck, and laid her palm against his cheek. She looked into his hazel eyes and everything inside of her lit up. This man was special. He’d awakened something sleeping inside of her, something that she had no words for.
A low growl reverberated through his chest and up this throat, and she could feel the vibration against her hand. He rubbed his cheek against her palm and closed his eyes, seeming to bask in her touch. He dragged his fingertips down her arm, leaving a trail of heat where he touched her skin. This man was dangerous.
From a few feet away a similar sound reached her, and when she leaned to the side to look at Jax she saw he was staring at her. His eyes glowed like the moon outside, and when she looked down at his pants she saw that he was hard. And big.
Cass let out a long breath and felt her lady bits warm. He was hard for her. For her. “Do you guys share women?” she asked, but as soon as the words left her lips she smacked her hands over her mouth. “I’m sorry,” she said through her fingers, backing away to the kitchen. “You— you need coffee and shovels.”
“We do,” Jax said from near the couch.
“Need coffee and shovels?” she asked, eyebrows coming together in confusion as she moved toward the kitchen.
“Share women.” His eyes reflected in the light as she retreated. A devious smile curled the left side of his lips.
She stopped for a moment, mumbled some incoherent words, and then made her way to the kitchen as fast as she could. Once she was in there she turned and watched the door swing shut behind her, hoping it would keep any more intrusive, insensitive words from flying out of her mouth.
“Do you share women?” she whisper-yelled. “Are you kidding me? Why would you say that to them? Do I get the coffee or the shovels first? Why the heck am I talking in questions?”
Cass walked back and forth behind the center island, waving her hand in front of her as if trying to wipe away every foolish thing she’d done since she’d laid eyeballs on those two. She wanted them. Both of them. Double penetration was never her bag, and watching those videos on the porn websites made her feel naughty. When she ordered her new vibrator she wanted to get the dildo with the two bits, but she was too ashamed. Who the hell would even know she’d ordered them?
She stopped pacing and rolled her eyes to the ceiling, and took a few breaths to calm herself. There was no time do anything to clear the air of what she said. All she could do to keep herself from dying of embarrassment was to make the coffee and get the shovels.
After hitting the little starter button on the machine, she pulled three of her favorite mugs from the cabinet along with the powdered creamer. Andrew hated the powdered stuff, but she loved it. Hand me the creamer from the fridge please, Darling, she could hear him say. With a smile, she opened the refrigerator door and took out the vanilla creamer that he loved. She always made sure she had it on hand so if she wanted to pretend they were having coffee together, she could smell the sweet, warm aroma of the vanilla.
“Oh, God,” she choked out. All the lust and wanting were drained from her body as she thought of Andrew. “Andrew, I’m so sorry.” She doubled over, grabbing her middle and tucking down to her knees.
Would he hate her for wanting someone for the first time in only two years? Would he have chastised her for waiting so long? No. That wasn’t the real question floating through her mind as she stooped there having a mini panic attack. Would he shame her for wanting two men at the same time? That was it.
“I’m so sorry,” she said again, sinking down to the floor.
She knew the answer. Or at least part of it. Don’t mourn me for too long, Cassiopeia. I’d feel guilty if you did. He’d said it right before the doctors told them that he was going to be discharged. When they thought everything was going to be all right.
Pain and emptiness clutched her chest, and she let out a strangled sound that echoed back at her from under the island. The pots and pans were under there, and when she looked up she could see her distorted reflection in the biggest pot.
Red rimmed eyes stared back at her, and even she could see the sorrow there. Sniffing as hard as she could to clear her nose, she wrapped her arms around her legs and decided to stay there. She would never live down those horrid
days two years ago. Nothing and no one could heal her. She’d tried to heal herself but failed every time. People thought she was okay. She played nice around family and friends after they started insisting she see a therapist. Cass didn’t need anyone to tell her what was wrong. She knew. She had a broken heart, and one day it would be the death of her.
Even as Damon stood in the living room, Cass’s suffering wafted from the kitchen and coated his airways like molasses. “She’s crying.” He turned to Jax and could see the pain etched in his Alpha’s eyes. “Look,” he said, pointing to a picture above the fireplace.
She was beautiful and smiling in a wedding dress that looked like it was made for a princess. Cass looked to be younger in that photo, but not by much.
“He died,” Damon said, walking over to the kitchen door. “He was standing at the top of the steps over there when we walked in. She’s cutting herself up inside. And he’s not helping. He thinks he is, but he’s making it worse.”
Jax ran his hands up over his face and through his hair, pulling it once he reached the nape of his neck. “Damon. How the fuck can you see him?”
Damon moved toward mantle above the fireplace and picked up the picture. He ran his finger over the veil that stretched behind her. Her smile was so radiant and true. She wore a floor-length, strapless dress that had a lace sheath around her arms. Her dark, coily hair was pinned up, and the way wisps of hair fell around her face made him want to reach inside the picture and roll his fingers around those soft looking coils.
Damon shrugged and pursed his lips, trying to come up with what he’d been wondering since they walked through the door. “He’s connected to her, and we’re connected to her. Hell, I can help the other shifters in our clan move on from their dead, but this is different. He’s holding on to her until she’s better.” He gave a slow shake of his head and let out a long breath that tapered off into a low snarl. “She won’t get better. Not as long as he’s trying to help her.”