The atmosphere between us was still tense when we left the den later that day. Our conversation had been enough to keep me quiet for the time being, but I hadn't let go of the hope that Thorne and I could still be together somehow. I knew he could control his instinct, even if he doubted it himself.
If my feelings towards Thorne had made me uncomfortable in the past, now that I'd acknowledged them it was even worse. Whenever I looked at him I wondered what he was thinking, whether he was thinking about me too, or trying to bury his feelings by focusing on something else. It was difficult to strike up a conversation without it becoming strained and awkward, and the long silences we shared didn't feel quite as comfortable as they had the day before.
We left the den as we'd found it, packing up our dwindling supplies and moving the makeshift screen away from the entrance so that it could be found by other travellers. I wondered again who else had used this place besides Thorne, and what the significance of the wooden box had been. I never saw him open it, but in the last few minutes before we left I realised that at some point the lid had been lifted, and whatever had been inside was gone. Some personal effect, maybe? A memento of his old life, too painful to keep with him, but too precious to let go of? It seemed like a strange place to keep something like that, where anyone could walk in and take it. My curiosity only grew as we headed back out into the woods, away from the city and deeper into the forest, towards the place Thorne said we would find his old pack. I wanted to ask him about the contents of the box, but I'd already pushed him about one sensitive matter today. My normally cool and collected companion still seemed prickly and standoffish, and I didn't want to pry further where it wasn't appreciated. Part of me was almost afraid to.
We walked all day, with me darting ahead from time to time in my wolf form to sniff for scents and listen with my sensitive ears. I was especially alert after missing the signs of Cyan and the Mine Pack wolves the day before, and with only one of us fit to scout for danger I knew I couldn't rely on Thorne to pick up my slack.
He never let me go too far, always calling me back or hurrying to catch up if I was gone for too long. As dusk fell, after I'd been scouting for a place to camp, he even seemed to forget the tension between us for a moment, grabbing me by the scruff of the neck and scolding me with a teasing note in his voice for being gone so long. I ruffed happily at him, rubbing my muzzle against his leg, then he caught my eye and the moment was gone. He let go of me and straightened up stiffly, fixing his eyes on the path ahead. A low whine threatened to escape my throat, but I swallowed it down along with the rest of the painful tightness in my chest. He couldn't even let himself relax around me any more, as if one of us would pounce on the other the second we shared even the slightest bit of affection.
I slunk away into the lengthening shadows, ignoring his calls for a full half hour before finally coming back. He didn't even try to scold me this time, and it made the obvious concern on his face all the more frustrating to see.
Tell me off! my thoughts whispered. Let me know how stupid I'm being, say how worried you were!
I wanted him to yell, or growl, or reason, or comfort. Anything was better than this awkward hostility. We built a small fire beneath an overhanging bank and took it in turns to sleep while the other kept watch. I took the first shift, sitting in my wolf form with my back to Thorne as the chilly breeze ruffled my fur. I tried to ignore the sound of his breathing, but the hours crawled by like years until I couldn't bear it any longer, and woke him with a prod of my paw. We didn't say a word as we shifted places, and I curled up next to the embers of the fire in a futile attempt to get some rest before the break of dawn.
The second day was worse. Our food ran out, and I was forced to go hunting, tired and irritable, while Thorne foraged for anything that was safe to eat. I spooked half a dozen small animals, growing increasingly impatient in my efforts until at last I managed to catch a scrawny squirrel, more by luck than intent. It wasn't much of a meal, but I was too angry at myself and Thorne to try for anything else.
"I'll go out tomorrow," he said as I showed him the meagre spoils of my hunting trip. "My arm's almost good enough for my wolf to walk on now."
"Sorry, I wasn't exactly focused on hunting today," I replied sharply, tossing the squirrel down beside our knapsack. I slumped against a tree, folding my arms over my knees as I directed my gaze into the distance.
"Do you want to talk?" Thorne said after a pause.
"Better not, one of us might lose control if we say the wrong thing," I huffed.
"Don't be like that."
"Oh, sorry. I'll just go back to being quiet then."
"It's safer this way. It'll only be until we reach the Wood Pack, then we can—"
"What?" I snapped. "Never see each other again when they turn you away?"
"It might not come to that."
I looked up at him, my anger softened with sadness. "I don't want to stay with them if you're not with me."
"We can't always have everything we want."
"No, not if we never even try." I narrowed my eyes at Thorne, and saw a twitch of something dark and furious and passionate touch his expression. My heart beat faster as I realised I was provoking his instinct. This was exactly the kind of situation he'd been trying to avoid. I held my breath, feeling the air crackle between us as he stared me down.
Thorne sighed and turned away, and my heart sank.
"We'll be there in a couple more days. Just try and bear it till then," he said, picking up our squirrel and sitting down to dress it.
We shared a silent meal of tough meat and bitter berries, and I dreamt again of being taken by a savage alpha in my fitful snatches of sleep, waking up the next morning in a sweaty, confused daze.
My instinct tingled uncomfortably as we set out into the forest again, and my eyes followed Thorne with equal parts anger and longing as his brown wolf limped ahead in front of me. The lack of proper sleep and food had left me confused, and I wasn't sure any more whether he'd been right about all of this or not. Was his inner alpha guiding him to make a tough decision that was best for both of us? Or was he reluctant to take a chance on our relationship for fear of what might happen if he failed? One of those was the Thorne I dreamt about; the other was the wolf who'd settled for a place at the bottom of Cyan's pack rather than heading out to start his own. The urge to provoke him intensified as my instinct worked its way to the surface with each passing hour.
He was right about one thing: if we didn't reach the Wood Pack soon, something dangerous was going to happen between us.
By afternoon on the third day my state of alertness had begun to slip, giving way to the tired and tormented emotions crawling beneath my skin. When Thorne stopped suddenly I almost walked into him, yapping in annoyance. His head snapped around, his expression commanding silence. I slunk down on my haunches, bowing my muzzle in deference, and then I caught it.
The distinct scent of a wolf clung to the path here, tinged unmistakably with the smell of coal dust. The dry particles tickled at the back of my nose, calling my senses back to their alert state in an instant. Someone from the Mine Pack had passed this way recently.
Thorne indicated for me to wait as he followed the scent between the trees, ears pricked and muscles tensed. After a minute of combing the area he shifted back into his human form, and I followed suit.
"There's two of them, the same two we saw before," he said.
"The scent's fresh, isn't it?"
Thorne nodded, his eyes flicking between the surrounding trees. "I don't think they're following us, or we'd have noticed earlier. But if they don't know we're out here already, they will soon."
"What do we do?" I said in hushed tones, the animosity between us forgotten in light of this new threat.
"Move carefully. Quietly. Keep your eyes and ears open. If we're lucky we'll both be going our separate ways. They might not even be looking for a fight."
A fight. I wondered if it would come to that. I'd never had to
defend myself against another werewolf before—not if I didn't count my scuffle with Cyan—and the Mine Pack were notorious for being vicious. Thorne's presence reassured me, but had he recovered enough from his injuries to defend us against another alpha and his mate? I could only hope so.
The atmosphere between us gave way to a new kind of tension as we moved on. Now there was fear, danger, and an unnerving feeling that we were being watched with every step. It permeated every second, keeping the pair of us on edge, adding yet another layer of discomfort to my lack of sleep and mixed emotions until I began to feel drained and exhausted. I kept putting one paw in front of the other, forcing myself to keep moving with my eyes open and my ears pricked. I had to stay alert, for Thorne if nothing else. I couldn't bear the thought of anything happening to him, not again.
At first we moved slowly, but we crossed the trail of the Mine Pack couple twice more as the afternoon wore on. By then Thorne's agitation was obvious. His wolf glared into the forest, a growl rumbling in the back of his throat as he paced irritably back and forth.
When we stopped to eat the leftovers of Thorne's morning hunt he told me he was sure the others had our scent by now, and that they must be somewhere very close by.
"Do you know anywhere we can hide for the night? Another one of your dens?"
He shook his head. "Not nearby. It wouldn't do us much good anyway, not if they're following their noses." He sighed in frustration, rubbing his injured shoulder. "We can't stay out in the open tonight. We've got to try and reach the Wood Pack before then."
"Can we make it?"
"Maybe, if we run."
"What about your shoulder?" I reached over to him, but he swatted my hand away irritably.
"It's fine."
We decided to abandon our knapsack and travel as light as possible. As Thorne rooted through our belongings for anything we might need I caught sight of him reaching into the bottom of the pack and taking out a handful of neatly folded papers. I frowned, peering over my shoulder as I watched him hastily tuck them into the back pocket of his jeans. Those definitely hadn't been amongst our supplies when we set off. Then I remembered the box in the den, and how it had been emptied before we left. Were they letters? Messages from someone?
The question of what the papers might be didn't bother me half as much as why Thorne seemed to be trying to hide them. I looked away as he stood up, pretending I hadn't noticed, but as he walked past my gaze couldn't help but be drawn to the solitary corner of paper sticking out of his back pocket. It was just one more item to add to the list of everything that had been confusing and frustrating me over the past few days. My urges told me to confront him about it, but now wasn't the time. My wolf's survival instinct was stronger than the emotional state of my human side.
After hiding our pack between the roots of a tree we shifted into our animal forms and set off at a run.
There was no question of being inconspicuous any more. If we were being hunted, our predators would easily be able to follow our noisy trail. We just had to keep going, keep ahead of them, and hope we reached the safety of the Wood Pack before our legs gave out.
And what if it doesn't turn out to be safe at all? My human wondered. What if they throw Thorne back to the wolves, literally? I won't abandon him, no matter what he says.
But doubt gnawed at the back of my mind. He'd been a different Thorne the last few days, and now he was keeping secrets from me. Was I really ready to risk my wellbeing—my life—for someone like him, with one side that instinctively drew me in and another that pushed me away? My heart said yes, but my head questioned whether I was thinking straight. There was more to the world than just me and Thorne alone together in the wilderness. I had to think of Ellie, and what it would mean for her if something happened to me. She'd probably never even know. Her big sister would just stop calling one day, and she'd never see me again. The thought of it was too painful to even consider, and I pushed it out of my mind, forcing myself to run faster as the woods flew by in a blur.
After an hour I was tired. After two, I was exhausted. Dusk was beginning to fall, and I had no idea how close or how far we might be from the Wood Pack. There was no time to shift into our human forms and have a conversation about it. I kept on following Thorne, watching as his limp became more and more pronounced, his tongue lolling from the side of his mouth as he drove himself relentlessly on.
We heard howls in the woods, sometimes close by, sometimes miles behind us. I saw dark shapes flitting through the trees in the distance, and my heart leapt in panic, my exhaustion momentarily forgotten as I hammered my paws into the ground harder. It didn't seem like there were just two wolves out there, it felt like dozens. The fading light was playing tricks on my tired eyes, and I began to see the dark shapes around us with increasing frequency. Sometimes they only turned out to be swaying branches or spooked critters, but other times I couldn't be so sure.
The fear grew, surrounding me like dark mist until it was enormous, all-encompassing, straining me to my limit. I didn't know how much longer I could force myself to keep going, both physically and mentally. I whined at Thorne, but he only responded with a gruff bark to silence me. His breath was laboured, but if he could force himself to keep moving with his injuries, then I had to try and do the same.
We ran harder, and as the glow of sunset began to fade from the sky the noises grew louder, closer. I was certain there were more than two wolves stalking us now. The nearby howls were being answered by more animal voices in the distance, drawing them in, waiting for the strength of their full pack before they made their move. Thorne barked savagely at the darkness as a four-legged shape sent a scattering of twigs and pebbles rolling down a hill beside us, and he was answered a moment later by a taunting, high-pitched growl.
I tried to keep my paws moving, but I was beginning to trip and stumble, my concentration fading along with the light. Up ahead I could see the treeline ending, and an open space beyond. We seemed to be heading straight for it. The howls nearby became agitated as they realised our destination, our pursuers becoming more bold as they slipped in and out of the trees, glowing eyes clearly visible amongst the undergrowth as they kept pace with us. Thorne leapt atop a huge stump where the trees ended, turning to face our pursuers as I ran past him.
The ground in front of us was wide open, a meadow scattered with the stumps of hundreds of felled trees. It stretched for miles in every direction before the forest closed in again, and the only refuge between where we stood and the other side was a tangled copse of trees in the middle. I looked back and saw Thorne growling, the shadowy shapes of two black wolves stalking around him; the Mine Pack alpha and his mate. Their white teeth gleamed in the darkness, but they hung back, snarling and pacing as the howls in the distance grew closer. With a loud bark Thorne made as if to lunge at them, and the pair retreated back into the trees with a series of parting growls. He turned to me and flicked his head towards the copse, leaping down from the stump as he hurried to catch up. I looked over my shoulder in a panic as we crossed the meadow, but for whatever reason the pair weren't pursuing us. After maybe half a mile we reached our destination, and Thorne finally called a halt. He shifted back into his human form, breathing heavily as he leaned his good arm against a tree, and looked back at the spot we'd last seen the Mine Pack wolves.
"They won't come any further," he panted as I stumbled to my feet. "This is Wood Pack territory now. They know not to cross that line into the meadow."
"Are we safe?" I dared to hope for a nod, but Thorne's expression was grim as he studied the treeline. The number of dark shapes moving in the distance had increased, shadows flitting between the tree stumps where a dozen pairs of predatory eyes glowed. They were waiting, watching.
"They're not stupid, they know not to challenge the Wood Pack," Thorne said, but he didn't sound convinced.
"Then let's keep going."
"We won't make it, not if they see us moving out of the copse and come after us again. We can hide in
here and wait for the Wood Pack to find us. They'll have heard those howls coming from miles away."
I glanced at the treeline, then back to Thorne. "And what if they come for us before then?"
"I don't think they will, but we'll last longer up a tree or down a burrow in here than we would out in the open. It might just be enough for the Wood Pack to find us. Trust me, it'll be safer to stay where we can hide. They won't want to set foot in another pack's territory unless they know for sure they can be in and out quickly."
I leaned back against a tree, breathing heavily and struggling to calm myself down now that the immediate danger had passed. I didn't like this. We could make a run for it, get deeper into safe territory—anything instead of waiting. But would Thorne even listen if I suggested it, or would he freeze me out again? It felt like he was being indecisive, passive, refusing to take a chance that needed to be taken. I looked at him through my loose tangles of hair, and he looked back, chest heaving as perspiration ran from his brow.
"What?" he said.
"We shouldn't just wait around."
"Well I say we should. Don't do this again, Lyssa, not now. I've had enough of it."
Anger flared in my chest, and I bit back a furious response as he turned away from me. I hated him being like this. Refusing to tackle the problem head on, pushing it aside—pushing me aside. Why didn't he just take what he wanted with the confidence I knew he was capable of?
A wave of dizziness gripped me, and I pressed a hand to my forehead. I wasn't thinking straight. Of course Thorne wanted to play it safe. He was being careful, smart, but...
I raked my fingers through my hair in frustration, willing the impulsive tingle in my belly to go away. I'd been on my feet for so long, spending so much time as my wolf that her thoughts and instincts were intermingling with my own. The journey was taking its toll on both of us.
Wild Instincts - Complete Edition (Werewolf Erotic Romance) Page 11