I close my eyes because that's not all that I have to tell him.
"There's something else." I close my eyes and push my hand back in my pocket and grip onto the solid item. "There's something I need to show you."
I grip the object and ready myself for the explosion I'm about to unleash. With a shaky hand I slowly hand over the object to Roman and wait for him to take it. As soon as he has it his brows bunch up. I hold my breath when I hear a catch in his throat. Oh, God. What have I done?
Surprised the hell out of him? Check.
Made his eyes bug out of his head? Check.
Caused sweat to form over his brow? Check.
Made myself sicker than a dog? Double fucking check.
"Oh my, God."
That about sums it up, Roman. God saw what we did. All of it. Every time. He even saw when you did that thing with your tongue.
"Holy shit. Um, is this?"
I nod my head because, again, my words have fucking failed me.
"Are you sure? I mean…"
"Positive."
"Positive, positive?"
I nod my head again.
"Okay.”
What’s okay, Roman? You are okay or this is okay?
"When did you find out?"
I watch his chest rise and fall.
"Early this morning."
"Early this morning?"
"Yes." I breathe out. “It’s one of those early test thingies.”
I blink a few times when his expressions start to morph, going from surprise to looking like he just smelled one of Dirk’s atomic farts. His eyes go wide and he starts to shake his head.
"No. No. No. Fuck that!" He barks out, quickly sitting up with the pregnancy test still firmly in his grip. But when he runs a hand through his beautiful hair that’s when I know panic has set in. "Gia."
"Yes?” I watch as he climbs off the bed and starts to pace back and forth certain that I'm about to get whiplash. “You okay?”
"Am I okay?” he asks as his nostrils expand with each breath he takes. “Gia, there's no way I'm letting you leave. Not now. No. Fucking. Way."
This was what I was afraid of.
"This is my job we're talking about. Everything I’ve built for myself. The life I made before I came out here. I can't lose it."
Roman’s back on the bed and right in front of me, and before I can even breathe, his hands are immediately on my belly. I feel sick again.
"And this," he says, splaying his hands across my skin, tears forming in his eyes, "This is what we made, Gia. This. Our baby. Please don’t do this."
I feel my own tears start to pool along my lashes as he looks at me with such despair in his eyes.
"Don’t go.”
He pulls me closer. Our bodies touch, and a sudden urge to envelope him overwhelms me with a searing force. My stomach turns and shifts at the thought of being away from Roman for even a second but this is something that needs to be done.
"I just need to go back for a little while. Get a few things straightened out," I tell him. "Just a week. Two at the most."
"I’ll go with you."
"It's not necessary, Roman. Besides, you have to be here to run the ranch. This place will fall apart without you."
He tugs my body to his side, cementing his hand right below my belly button.
“I promise. I’ll be back.”
“Two weeks?” he asks, placing a kissing on my belly. “Just two weeks?”
“I swear it.”
He nods his head against my belly and whispers, “I love you.”
Chapter 22
Just Died A Little Inside
~Gia~
"When were ya gonna tell me, Missy? Hmm? When ya went and popped the little stinker out?"
"I see Dirk beat me to the good news," I say, placing my hand over my belly. "I meant to come by and tell you as soon as I found out, but things with Roman got a little crazy.”
"And how does our resident cowboy feel about ya goin' back to the city?" she asks, crossing her arms over her ample chest. "Dirk says he's pretty shook up about it."
My shoulders automatically slump and my stomach starts to turn. I plop down on a bale of hay and the sudden urge to cry is overwhelming. But before the tears have a chance to take flight, I feel Jen’s palm grip my shoulder. When she kneels down beside me I chance a look into her eyes and, for a fraction of a second, I think I see tears start to form.
"Ya know, Missy," she says, taking my hand. "I hope you know what you're doing because if you don't, this might just cause some damage, and I'm not just talking about you and Roman. There’re other people around here that care about you now. You’re family, goddamnit."
I pull in a deep breath just as the floodgates open.
"Whatever you decide just make sure ya don't forget your way home," Jen says just as tears start to slip down her cheeks. "Besides, what would I do without the only best friend I've ever had?"
I take a look around me at the one place that's both confused and accepted me, and I make a decision. I know what I have to do. Just a few weeks ago I would’ve never imagined myself surrounded by such beauty or by people who genuinely care about me. Real people.
My head whips around when I hear the familiar rumble of Dirk’s four wheeling death trap zip down the dirt driveway.
"Clarabelle! Clarabelle, wait!"
I take a quick glance over at Roman. His eyes look tired and his body is tense, and it pains me to know that what I'm doing is the cause of it. He shoves his hands in his pockets and offers me a small smile.
"Doggone it, Clarabelle, I thought I wasn't gonna make it in time to say bye to ya!" The air gushes from my lungs when Dirk’s strong arms pull me tight against his chest. "Give us a hug, girl."
"I’ll be back soon."
"He said that he'd shoot his own toe clear off his foot if he missed ya," Jen adds with a cheeky grin and a shrug of her shoulders. "I handed him the shotgun."
I giggle at her comment. "Well, I'm glad you won't be going toeless, Dirk."
Before any one of us can say another word, dust kicks up down the driveway and an all too familiar streak of bright yellow slowly approaches. I take a couple calming breaths, feeling another round of tears start to peak and jump when a hand grips my shoulder.
"Are you sure you don't want me to drive you back to the city?"
I turn and look up at Roman. "I'm sure."
"Okay," he says with a nod as his jaw clenches. "Okay, Gia."
I slip into the backseat of the cab and close the door behind me. I smile up at Jen and Dirk and quickly divert my eyes when Roman steps up to the door, kneels down beside it, and brings himself eye level to me.
"I do love you, Gia," he says as he cups my cheek with his palm. I close my eyes and feel more tears start to fall. "Before you walked back into my life, there was a big fucking black hole right in the center of my heart-a hole I thought would never fill. You helped me to love again, baby, and I never want to live without that feeling ever again."
He lightly pulls my face close to his and kisses me with such an intensity it makes me dizzy. When he pulls away, he looks directly into my eyes.
"Do what you need to do and when you're done, come back to me, baby. Both of you," he says, placing his hand on my flat belly.
And I think I just died a little inside.
Chapter 23
Mecomerculitis
~Gia~
"My goodness, Gia! Are you all right in there?"
No. No I am not all right. I am tossing my cookies left and right and it feels like my innards are about to explode!
"I'm good," I say, pushing up to my feet. The smell of the porcelain throne isn’t helping the situation any. "Just caught a bug or something."
"That doesn't sound like just a bug. Have you seen a doctor? You might have that new flu that's been going around. Have you heard of it? Oh! Or it could be something you ate. What did you have for lunch? Please tell me that you did not have that disgusting tuna roll. Ugh
! That stuff could kill a buffalo dead in his tracks!"
I pull in a breath and suppress the urge to smother my co-worker, Annie, to death. I've only been back to work a short time, and the very moment I walked through those double doors, the queen of You Need To Wear A Fricken Muzzle hasn't shut the hell up-not even once.
"I'm fine, Annie, really. It'll pass."
I walk over to the sink and pray that she doesn't elaborate further on what kind of viruses, plagues or any other life-threatening illnesses she thinks I might have. But as soon as I place my hands under the warm water I hear her piercing voice right by my ear.
"You know, Gia. The news just said that there's a new virus strain that just hit oversees. Something called Mecomerculitis. Sounds deadly to me. Hey, did you hear about the new girl in payroll? She caught something that nearly caused her to grow a third nipple. True story. I swear it."
"I'm pregnant, Annie! I am having a baby not Mercowhateverthefuck! A baby."
My hand flies over my mouth, and I know that I just revealed my most precious bit of information to the one woman in the office that will no doubt have it spread to everyone within a one hundred mile radius in the next five minutes.
I close my eyes and wait for the inevitable. When it doesn't come, I slowly open my eyes and notice Annie's brows pulled together. She gives me a knowing nod before turning and walking out of the bathroom door. I give myself five minutes to breath and then turn to exit the restroom. When I do I damn near have a heart attack.
"Congrats, Gia!"
"Oh my god! A baby!"
"Who's the father? There is a father, right?"
"Were you artificially inseminated?"
"Yay! A baby shower!"
After five hours, my co-workers have finally piped down.
Today has gone by so damn slow. All I want to do is gouge my eyes out, claw at my guts and wish for this awful morning sickness to go away. The same morning sickness that's turned into afternoon sickness and, if it doesn't quit, I'm sure will end up as evening sickness as well. Mother Nature is a beast. She is the epitome of evil. I’m almost certain that I will more than likely go postal on someone's ass and I’m gunning for Annie.
"Ohemgee!"
Not only do I feel an overwhelming urge to throw up the bagel I just ate, but now I think I may have peed myself from the squeal right behind me.
"Gia! Gia!" I turn my chair around and notice, Jessa, another one of my crazy co-workers, hauling ass toward me. "Girl, there's someone at reception asking for you and holy hell he's the kind of hottie you want to wrap in bacon and avocado and dip in ranch dressing and gobble that sucker right up!"
Jessa's definition of a hottie is any male with two legs and a penis.
"Did you get a name?" I ask as I turn my chair back toward my desk.
"Um…damn. I forgot. Hold on. Let me go check." She spins on her heal and heads back toward the reception area.
"I'll go, Jessa," I reply.
For as long as I have known Jessa Lee, it’s always ceased to amaze me that the girl even graduated high school with honors and a valedictorian to boot. She's one of those people that when she gets to talking, you know the whole house is lit up but nobody's frickin’ home.
I look down at my pencil skirt and smooth my hands over the fabric right before I reach the front of the reception area. I suck in a breath when I realize what the fuss was all about. My head starts to spin, my heart drops to my belly and everything begins to move in fast forward.
Stetson.
White t-shirt.
Brown faded belt.
Blue denim Levis.
Brown cowboy boots caked in mud.
Before my brain has time to even process what’s going on around me, a pair of big, strong arms engulf me. I feel wanted, adored, and then it happens. Just like in the movies. My body, still wrapped up in a hard bundle of strength and muscles, my senses overloaded with that familiar woodsy cologne, is dipped back a fraction and my lips are consumed with a searing kiss. I get lost in the kiss and my body begins to hum. I don't even realize that the kiss has been broken as I open my eyes I get lost in the man that makes me feel whole and, until now, I’ve never admitted that. Not even to myself.
I lace my fingers through Roman’s hair because I've never wanted him closer than I do now and pull him closer to me. When he looks into my eyes, the expression on his face breaks my heart.
"I fucking love you, baby. I want you to pack your shit up and come back home with me. To our home. Both of you.” His words come out with a tinge of desperation, and I'm not sure that he even just took a breath. When the next words tumble from his lips, I realize with insurmountable certainty that this man is my home. "Marry me, Gia. Be my wife."
Through the eruption of cheers and loud chatter from my co-workers, it takes me less than a nanosecond to seal my future.
"Yes, Roman. Yes, I'll marry you."
Chapter 24
Several Months, A Few Days, and
A Whole Lotta Minutes Later
~Gia~
"Breathe, baby! I'm gonna call Jen!"
"Stop screaming, Roman!”
I swear my vagina’s about to bottom out. Like give way, fall out, detach from my body, running and screaming for the hills. Whoever said that having a baby is the most tender, precious moment in a woman's life, has clearly never given birth.
"Roman! Roman, get in here!"
As soon as he rounds the corner, my heart nearly sinks at the sight of him. Sweaty, nervous and panicked, and then I remember that he’s the reason I'm about ready to push a baby out of my body
"I think I peed in the bed, all over your favorite flannel sheets. Oh! And I think…yep, I need to poop, too."
"Jen, you really need to hurry. Gia’s gonna blow ass in my bed. Well, I don't know!"
Any more pressing on the bladder, kid, and I am definitely peeing all over your dad's bed.
"Baby, Jen wants to know if you're crowning? Can you check? Please? The woman keeps yelling at me and it's seriously freaking me the hell out. She scares me. So check for any crowning, yeah?"
If I had two forks and some duct tape, I would seriously consider plucking out the idiot’s eyeballs and taping his mouth shut.
"No, Roman! I cannot check for CROWNING! I cannot bend that far to see my own damn, swollen vagina!" I snap and then decide to give it to him good. Throwing back the blankets, I wave my hand between my open legs. "Here! You look! See a head yet?"
"Oh, shit."
And just like that I watch Roman drop his cell phone and hit the floor.
"Well, kid," I say, placing my hand on my protruding belly. "Guess it's just you and me."
It took fifteen minutes for the ambulance to get to the house, and it took another five for Roman to come out of his impromptu trip to Snoozeville. As soon as he came out of it he apologized for another fifteen minutes, right up until the nurses rushed me into my room.
"I call bullshit!" It feels like my vagina is splitting in two, like mini rabid leprechauns are trying to claw their way out of my vagina in slow motion. "I want a redo! This shit hurts!"
My belly starts to squeeze, and it feels like I need to take a gigantic dump.
"Those are contractions, missy." Jen’s voice sends me into a full blown cry fest when I look up and see her face. "Aww, sweetie, it's gonna be okay. Where's Roman? I didn't see him anywhere outside."
"I dunno." My ugly sobs continue uncontrollably, and I silently wish for the ground to open up and swallow me whole. "He left me. He just up and left me like a pile of trash on the side of the road. This child is going to split me wide open!"
"He left you? What the hell are you talkin' about?"
"Right after they checked me in, he took off down the hall like a bat out of hell. I've been in here hooked up to all this shit by myself for the last ten minutes." Another round of contractions hit me, and I swear to the moon that my vagina and my butt hole are going to voluntarily detach from my body. "Somebody come remove Lucky Fucking Charm out
of me!"
"Hold tight, sweetie," Jen says as she gently strokes my hair. "Let me get the nurse and go find our resident idiot. Just keep breathin'."
"Hey, Jen, baby?" I look over at the door and watch as Dirk’s expression morphs in fifty different directions. "Hey there, Clarabelle, how's everything goin'? Things movin' along pretty good?"
Words fail me as I continue to do my breathing exercises. If he cracks one smart ass Dirkism I will personally deliver a swift kick to his hairy berries.
"Y'all greased up down there?" he asks, his question garnering both Jen’s and my attention. When he waves his hand and motions toward my vagina his face morphs into a look of disgust. "'Cause ya know, when things are greasy other things can slide on out real easy. Ya know? Like a well-oiled machine. Just grease it up and move it on out is what I always say."
"Dirk, baby," Jen coos. "Keep Gia company for a minute, will ya? I need to find Roman."
"Sure, baby, sure," he says with a nod of his head. "I'll stand right here and keep Clarabelle some company. Right here. Yep."
As soon as Jen slips out of the door, a contraction hits me like a ton of bricks. This one is unlike the rest. If I had to guess, I'd say it’s about a nine on the Richter scale, and as much as I'd like to refrain from scaring an innocent bystander like Dirk, I fail miserably.
"Oh, shit, it's coming! Get the nurse, Dirk! Get the nurse!"
And with that, I hear another thud hit the ground.
"Oh, good grief. What in the blazing hell happened to this baboons ass?"
"He was talking about greasy vaginas and then hit the tiles," I reply as Jen walks back into the room five minutes later with Roman hot on her heels. When I look over at Roman another contraction hits me. "Thanks for joining me asshole. Oh my god! Jen please pull this child out of me. I will fully allow you to shove your big ass man hands up my vagina to get this baby out."
"I'm so sorry, Gia." Roman rushes to my side and all I want to do is pummel his ass. "It's just seeing you earlier all exposed and stretched open like that. I mean, you have no idea what it looks like down there. I…baby, I don't think you want to know what it looks like down there. It wasn't very pretty. Kinda dark and scary. Like a creepy fun house."
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