by Sia Wales
“You know that… you’re… how can I put this? You’re quite a sweetheart.” As soon as the words have left my mouth, I realize how he could misconstrue them.
But he just rolls his eyes. “You’ve been hitting the bottle hard tonight, baby girl!”
“You don’t say,” I mutter, embarrassed. “And it’s gone right to my head.”
“You don’t say!” he parrots, making fun of me. “But anyway, thanks for the compliment.”
“It’s true.” I attempt a grin, but it comes out skewed.
“I’m going to get you out of here.” His voice is so authoritative, that I dare not protest.
“Yes, get me out of here,” I beg in a whisper. I’m more than ready to face the chill outside, as icy cold as the hands now dragging me up from the ground. As I leave the floor, sticky with spilled cocktails, I open my eyes a sliver. Donn hoists me into his arms, like a newborn baby, as if I were light as a feather.
“Shall I take you home?” His voice is heavenly, like a sweet taste of paradise.
I nod.
“Was that you actually agreeing with me?” he asks astonished, somewhat satisfied.
As he gets to his feet, his scent hits me, bringing me around. He pulls me into his arms; I willingly fall into his embrace.
He looks at Bryan, that impassible look in his eyes. Bryan’s jaws clench.
“I was taking her outside,” he explains defensively. “But she insisted on staying here.”
“I’ll take care of her now,” says Donn firmly. “You get back to work.” I can tell from his tone that he’s laughing inside.
“I wanna stay with her!” protests Bryan, enough conviction in his voice to seem challenging to Donn.
But he just ignores him.
Bryan grabs his arm to stop him, but just one look into Donn’s dark, glazed eyes makes him freeze in his tracks; a look so glacial he seems like the lord of darkness himself. Bryan moves meekly aside, as if hypnotized to obey instructions.
I just about have time to mouth goodbye to him before Donn marches off with me in his arms. I’m still fighting off the nausea, and his quick pace doesn’t help. I feel bile rising from my stomach again. Please don’t let me throw up now!
“Please, let me down,” I implore him. “I can walk by myself.”
Bryan trots along behind us as I wriggle to free myself from Donn’s arms. My struggles seem in vain, he has me in an iron grip. Indeed, he just bounces me up further into his arms, holding me tightly against his chest. I give in…
“You’re in a bad way,” he reproaches me. “You obviously can’t hold your drink, young lady,” he adds sarcastically.
I blush, but refrain from answering. I curl up in his protective arms and close my eyes trying to cut out the light, anything that will help make this nauseous feeling go away.
When we reach the entrance, the two bouncers clear the way for him then stand back to let him pass.
I feel I could die of shame, or at least just sink into the earth, never to be seen again. At least that would be some kind of victory over him!
I feel his chest vibrate, he’s stifling a laugh at my unspoken thought; right here, right now, he seems just like a happy-go-lucky kid.
I feel the cold night wash over me; I take a deep breath, the icy air fills my lungs. A few drops of water fall onto my face. A chill runs through me. Donn rubs my shoulder in an attempt to warm me up, but his icy hand gives me no relief. I open my eyes and am almost blinded by the headlamps of a black car which pulls up alongside us.
The driver gets out and hurries towards us.
“Sir?” asks a male voice.
“She almost fainted,” explains Donn to the man, dressed in a dark suit, as he opens the car door and waits for further instructions. My vision is still cloudy, but he looks at me as if he were a gravedigger. Very fitting for the occasion. I’m still trembling, I feel dizzy. Donn notices my spell and gently places me on the car seat as if I weighed 11 pounds, not 110. I grab onto the door handle and slip out of the car cautiously. I’m still just a few feet from the parking lot. If I could get that far, I would get the keys to Jamie’s car from the doorman, and I could wait for her curled up inside with the heat turned up high.
Donn might have even let me go by myself if I hadn’t staggered like a newborn giraffe taking its very first steps. Or maybe not.
“Can you stand up or do I have to carry you again?” he asks sarcastically.
“I can walk,” I reply, doing my utmost to stand upright, but not managing too well.
The gentle rainfall washes the sticky sweat from my face, and I enjoy the feeling. I feel better already, and I’m sure I’ll get well soon enough if I can just get home.
We’re at the end of the block, behind the parking lot. I turn right to head for Jamie’s car, but feel something tugging at the sleeve of my jacket. I hear the gentle hum of Donn’s car engine as it crawls along the street behind me.
“Where do you think you’re going?” asks Donn, crossly.
“To the car, then home.”
“Didn’t you understand? I’m your guarantor. I promised to bring you to the ceremony safe and sound. Do you think I’d let you drive in this condition?”
“What condition?” I retort, indignantly.
“Do you want a ride?” His mouth is turned up at the corner, not an unkind smile.
“From who?” Is he being confusing, or is it just me?
“From me, obviously!” But I’ve already got a ride home. I don’t even remember too well where I am. I’m too dazed and confused to care.
“Did you see Jamie outside the bar?” I ask, puzzled.
“No,” he snaps.
I frown; every nerve of my body is on edge.
“She’s still inside with that guy,” he announces, his eyes stony. “Come on, get in the car. Trust me”
“I’m quite capable of getting home on my own,” I brag, though probably not quite as self-assured as I’d like to come across, certainly not helped by my soaked, unkempt state.
“I’m not a hundred percent sure you’d make it.” His incredible eyes dance with mine.
“It’s not really any of your business!” I bark back, lowering my eyes to hide my embarrassment.
His eyes darken, he clenches his jaw. I think he’s running out of patience. “You are my business.” Suddenly his face is an inch from my ear. “I’ll look after you.”
While unsettled, I manage to walk in a somewhat straight line towards the well-lit car lot. “You define me as ‘business’?” I ask, irate.
“Hold on, baby girl,” he pleads, walking alongside me as I stump childishly in the puddles, hoping to get him wet.
“It can’t say it’s not true” he continues, “But maybe I could have put it better. It was rude of me, sorry.”
“Just leave me alone!” I yell.
“Don’t you like me anymore?” A tentative smile spreads on his lips.
“Nobody likes you…”
“I don’t care what anyone else thinks. But I know you think a lot about me,” he points out, mischievously. “And I think a lot about you, too.”
“Then do something else.”
He laughs. This is fun for him.
“This is not funny,” I snap.
But he keeps sniggering. “Of course, you’re quite right.” He takes a deep breath. “But would you really want me to do something else?” There is a veil of torment in his eyes, blended in with the irony of the situation.
I nod forlornly, biting my lip. “Get ready for the end. Have fun in the library tower.”
Donn drags me under the shelter of a canopy. “This is not the end, it’s only the beginning. It’s not a given that every dawn has its dusk, that everything has to come to an end.” His mood swings tonight resemble the pendulum of a grandfather’s clock. “And I don’t want you to miss out on anything that my presence in your life deprives you of. On the contrary, I want your life to be a full one, so that I can help you achieve everything that you
r heart desires.”
“I don’t need you for that,” I point out, gazing into space. “And I don’t think you understand what I mean, especially that last sentence.”
He throws an arm around my neck, pulling me into his lips. I blush and lose my balance.
“Your warmth is extraordinarily nice,” he whispers, as he holds my face in his hands, staring deeply into my eyes. My head spins again. When he brings his face closer to mine, I’m not the only one to be breathless.
“Stop it,” I say, struggling futilely to free myself.
“I might… as long as you tell me…” he murmurs anxiously, an edge of resentment in his tone.
“What?” I’m thrown.
My stubbornness makes him finally lose his patience.
“That you’ll stay with me, now and forever.”
He brings his lips to mine, sucking them greedily, almost violently, into his mouth, torment raging in his depths.
I try to wriggle out of his grasp, but I’m unable to free myself from it. I freeze and close my eyes. I can feel the rage, the frustration, rising within him as he senses my passive resistance.
One of his hands clasps my neck, the other roughly grabs my shoulder. He shakes me and pulls me in close to him. Then his hands seize my wrists, bringing them up around his neck. Only when he’s sure I won’t let go do his hands moves down my body to my hips. There is a sliver of bare skin between my jacket and my trousers, and he slips his cold hand in, forcing me to arch my body against his. And those smooth icy lips greedily try to set aflame the fire in mine.
I’m shaking, but not from the cold.
His mouth… It’s not the most delicate kiss, but it’s unyielding, and passionate.
His grip is so persuasive, bullying me into submission. I try to keep a clear head, but in vain. When he senses his victory, he releases my mouth, the surge of power in his triumph racing through his entire body.
I open my eyes to find him staring at me, unbearably. How can one endure such vehemence, lust, beauty?
I pull my arm away from his neck and strike his mouth with all my strength. My bones crunch as they make contact.
He stares incredulously at me for an instant. Then he merely rubs his jaw and unfurls a slightly guilty smile.
“I guess I deserved that,” he states calmly.
“Do you think I’ll give in to you that easily?” I snap back, confused. My eyes are glazed, I can barely keep my head upright. After my automatic reaction, I suddenly feel overcome with guilt.
He steps back as he laughs. He seems disappointed. “It costs nothing to dream.”
“And this is your dream? You’re my guarantor. Isn’t that enough for you?”
“Yes, it is.” The smile slowly spreads across his lips. “For now.”
“Didn’t I hurt you at all?” I ask, irate as hell.
“Are you kidding?! You’re a shrimp. If you hadn’t started yelling, I wouldn’t even have realized you were trying to hit me. Baby girl, it was more of a caress that a punch.”
“I hate you, Donn Brooks.”
“That’s fine too. See, hate is a deep feeling, passionate. At least it means… that you feel something for me,” he says, grinning like a Cheshire cat.
I’m enraged, frustrated. “I’ll show you another passionate move,” I grimace, raising my fists.
He grabs my wrists. “I’m sure it was more pleasurable than kissing Bryan.”
I grunt.
“Admit it!”
“I wouldn’t give you the satisfaction.”
He smirks. “The truth? It’s not enough for me. I may have a limited experience with relationships in my two hundred years of life, but I’ve crossed the centuries to find you! And as long as your heart is beating, I won’t give up the fight. Anything… to have you. It won’t always be like this, I promise you.”
These words send a chill down my spine, I shake my head indignantly. “But you promised,” I whimper.
“I know, but, baby girl, you don’t know what you want. That’s part of your charm. One of the things that first drove me crazy about you. I am totally, head-over-heels in love with you. But a part of me, the more visceral, primordial part, still thirsts for your blood. It’s not just your company I love! The difference is that I am what I am.”
I narrow my eyes, trying to make sense of this jumbled conversation. Donn just waits. I look down at his fingers, now digging into my hips. I don’t know what to do, what to say.
“What are you thinking?” he asks in curiosity. He’s obviously decided to respect at least one part of the pact.
I look into his turquoise eyes, so intense they make my head spin. As usual, the truth bursts forth without me wanting it to. “I’m trying to understand just what you are.”
He starts. “And have you made any progress?” he asks nonchalantly.
“Not really,” I admit, trying to hide the quiver in my voice.
“I’m not the monster you think I am.”
“Glad to hear it.”
“I’ve told you, Stella, I’m above all a selfish creature, and I desire your company too much to behave as you’d like. But I’m still a tough, cynical man, with no heart, no feelings. Never forget that. But what I feel for you… is the exception that proves the rule. My heart has started beating again, but only when you’re around.” His eyes narrow. “And that’s enough of a reason to fight, even harder if I have to. Because I’ve never felt stronger and more alive, despite dying that October 14 1781 in the battle of Yorktown.”
“The War of Independence. The anniversary is in four days.”
“A long afternoon, two hundred and thirty-three years ago.”
“You died in battle?”
“Yes. I was the first officer in command in Dublin, Ohio, in Franklin County. The youngest general and the highest-ranking officer in my battalion, Commander Dorian Grayshire.”
“Dorian?”
“I’m warning you! Never mention that name…” he shivers, his tone menacing.
“But it’s your…”
“Not anymore,” in a roar so loud his chest vibrates. “That name is part of a distant past. Finished, buried, one that never belonged to me!”
I just nod, dumbly.
“Blood was my daily bread back then, too. I lived for the ethics of war. Forgive the food metaphor, but I can’t find a better one.”
“Huh, born to be a vampire, I guess,” I mumble in wonderment, the irony not escaping me.
“Anyway, on the afternoon of October 14th, in four days’ time, I’ll show you a glimpse of me behind the mask. Every day has to end, even the worse one… A new dawn breaks… then dusk comes. Another end,” he whispers, his turquoise irises looking back into a two-hundred year-old past. “But in the dark nights of time, baby girl, I saw one light shining. You, my star. Suddenly, there was light and joy. The black hole that had taken the place of my heart began to beat again, the ice mask crumbled like a glacier meeting the ocean, and everything turned to fire.”
“But the ice hasn’t melted.
His dark eyes bore into me. “My ice is resistant, but it has tasted that little that it needs to be willing to melt. Twice.”
“But if things end badly?” I ask.
“Nobody says that death is the end; it is an end, but a beginning too. And here on earth, I have found a little corner of paradise and I don’t intend to let it go.”
I blush. “Please, Donn…” I don’t know what to say, his words just go round and round my head. “Have you finished?”
“No,” he smiles, closing his eyes as if dreaming. When he opens them, they flash like shooting stars, coming to meet mine. But they speak of torment, darkness.
His breathing becomes heavy, his fingers search for my face. He holds it still, facing his, and I can’t tear my gaze from his onyx eyes. I want him to take my words seriously, but…
A corner of his mouth turns up into a smile; I try to flick my hair in front of my face, wanting to hide what I know my expression is saying.
But he holds my head still as still can be. His fingers dig into me, they hurt. Maybe I’m acquiring some kind of special power, because I can read in his eyes what is about to come.
I try to object, but I know it’s too late. His mouth closes onto mine, suffocating all protest. I feel his sweet breath in my mouth as he kisses me ardently, his hands wound around my neck, making any escape attempt futile. His teeth suck on my bottom lip, his tongue is soft as it molds perfectly to fit my mouth. A wave of mixed emotions washes over me.
I feel dizzy, as if I were about to collapse.
His lips stop for an instant and his mouth follows the contours of my chin, working its way around my face. His hands leave my hair in search of my arms, which he pulls up around his own neck. Then he slips his arms around my hips and brings his mouth to my ear.
“You can do better than that,” he breathes gloomily, sending a shiver down my spine when he gently nibbles on my earlobe.
I try to push him away with all my might, but it’s like trying to shift a mountain. I instinctively let my body go, hoping that sensing non-resistance will make him weaken his grip. But his lips tenderly brush against mine, his hands feeling their way across my face.
Then I really do collapse as he easily catches my fall.
“Stella?” He seems alarmed as he holds me up.
“You made me faint,” I say softly, barely able to speak, my strength drained from my body. I bury my face in his shoulder, now welcoming the protection his arms offer.
“I have to go now. And I’d rather walk.” I turn toward the road, a surge of energy providing the strength I need.
“No.” Indignant, he holds onto one of my arms. He drags my weak body toward the black car.
“I’m OK,” I protest, but my credibility is zero, the drunkenness making me slur my words. “Will you stop it.” I try to wriggle free to no avail as he leads me to the open door of the vehicle.
“Just let me take you home,” he says slowly, pronouncing every word as if he were talking to a little child. “It would be safer.”
“You’re just a bully!”
“The door is open,” is his only reply. I swallow hard. He cracks a smile.