He cringed as though they had burned him, as well.
“I just want what is best for you, both as your parole officer and as your friend.” She wanted to reach over and hold him, but she resisted the urge. “You deserve to be loved and to have a life filled with everything you want. If you throw it all away in an attempt to sate your anger and your need for revenge, you are only going to hurt yourself in the end. Sometimes, Rainier, the best thing you can do is just let things go.”
He looked at her. “Letting go is the smartest thing...but you and I both know how hard it can be to walk away when feelings are involved, good or bad.”
He had to be talking about their relationship. Yes, they should have walked away, but it already seemed as if that option was too far out of reach. They had taken things to the point of no return and there was no going back to a time when they could simply let go. Not now.
But this wasn’t really about them. This was about his father, his choices and his future.
There was a roar of an engine from the parking lot and the spray of gravel as a car must have come to a stop.
“Do you think that’s Waylon and Christina?” Rainier asked, tilting his chin in the direction of the noise. From his tone, she could tell that he was relieved that he could hide from any more talk of feelings and the duality of right and wrong.
Admittedly, she was just as thankful for the interruption, for whenever they started talking about serious things it seemed they always took one step closer to deciding to give up on their feelings. And letting herself feel all she did for Rainier was the first decision she had really made in following her heart and breaking away from what everyone else thought was right or wrong.
She walked with Rainier to the barn door just as a car door slammed in the parking lot.
Looking out, she gasped.
Standing there in the red and green glow of the Christmas lights was William Poe. His normally pristine suit was fraught with wrinkles and his hair was disheveled. He looked over at them and, when he saw them, curled his lips in a punishing smile.
“Rainier Fitzgerald.” He said the name like it was a curse. “You are a goddamn murderer. It’s time you and your people paid.”
Chapter Fifteen
Rainier sauntered out to meet his family’s enemy head-on. Opening and closing his fists, he found the rhythmic motion both invigorated and frightened him. William Poe was a foolish man to think he could come here and talk to him that way.
“William, before you say one more thing you’re going to regret, you should put your ass back in that car and drive away,” Rainier said between gritted teeth.
Laura grabbed him by the wrist and tried to hold him back as he neared the tax appraiser, but he pulled out of her grip. She couldn’t stop whatever was about to happen, and neither could he. There were moments in life in which things came to a head, and this was one of them.
William laughed as he looked down at Laura’s hand and then back up at him. “You have no right to tell me what or what not to do. In fact, if you were smart, you would listen to your little handler and stay where you are.”
“Ha,” Rainier said with a snort. “So you’re afraid. Good. You should be.”
William pulled at the edge of his wrinkled suit jacket in a feeble attempt to straighten it, as though the action could give him a more dignified air. “I have no need to be afraid of you. You are just like the rest of your family—worthless.”
Rainier ground his teeth together so hard that they squeaked.
“Rainier, you should just go inside. William is here for a fight.” Laura rushed in front of him and put her hands up. “Do I need to remind you of what we were just talking about?”
Walking away was easier when a crazed man wasn’t standing in his driveway slandering his family.
“I’m sure Mr. Poe isn’t stupid enough to come here for a fight. Or are you, William?” He gave him a warning glance.
“I’m here to set things right. Is your brother Wyatt here?”
The door of the ranch house opened with an ominous screech and his father came walking out, followed by his brother.
“What do you want with me, William?” Wyatt asked. His hair was matted on one side of his head and there was a line on his cheek from where he had just been lying on his pillow, but he was wearing his uniform. Finding William there must have been one hell of a thing for his brother to wake up to.
“Did you really think you could get away with not telling me the body you and your family found on the ranch belonged to my father?” William asked.
Merle and Wyatt both stopped at the edge of the porch, and Wyatt leaned against the railing. For a moment he didn’t answer William, but stared at him like he wished he would disappear.
“William, I think you’ve made a mistake in coming here.”
“So you don’t deny that you tried to hide my father’s death from me?” William took a few steps toward Wyatt, then stopped and looked back at Rainier as though trying to decide whether or not he was a threat if he turned his back to him.
Maybe he wasn’t as stupid as he looked.
“I wasn’t trying to hide anything, William. I had every intention of notifying you today of your father’s passing.”
“And yet you were telling the rest of the world about it yesterday?”
Rainier jerked as he looked over at his brother. The only people who knew about the body being Paul’s were family members, Laura and her father. Had Wyatt told other people on the force, or had someone else leaked the information before Wyatt could tell William?
“Don’t talk about things you don’t know or understand, William. It will only lead you deeper into trouble,” Wyatt said.
“I’m hardly the one in trouble here.” William laughed. “In addition to my father’s mysterious death, do I need to remind you about your taxes?”
“We have that figured out,” Laura said. “We’re going to get the family on a payment plan...so whatever it was that you were hoping to accomplish by undermining this family, you are going to have to try a lot harder.”
William sneered at her. “So I’ve heard. But if you think that the Fitzgeralds are going to be able to get their payments figured out before the deadline, then you are wrong.”
Laura’s eyes widened with shock and anger.
“What in the hell are you talking about?” Merle asked.
“Do I need to spell it out for you, you dumb redneck?” William asked, smoothing down his hair. “No matter what you and your family try to do to save this little ranch from falling into the hands of the county isn’t going to work. It’s too late.”
“We know you’re behind all this, William, and as soon as we can prove it, we are going to have you fired. You are going to be in far more danger than we are,” Merle said. But his voice wasn’t filled with the same conviction that was in his words.
William leaned against his car. “You don’t have a clue what you are talking about. Maybe if you could take your head out of your ass, you would see that your world is going to crash down upon you and your family. I will make sure of it, but that doesn’t mean I’m the one at fault. If you want to know who is really responsible for all this, you should look in the mirror.”
Merle turned around and walked into the house, slamming the door behind him. Wyatt gave Rainier a questioning glance, but he couldn’t have told his brother what William was talking about or what he seemed to be accusing their father of, because he didn’t have a clue.
“You need to get your ass out of here and off this property. Or I will arrest you for trespassing,” Wyatt said.
“You enjoy that power and authority while you can, Wyatt, because I’m coming for your job next.”
“I’m not afraid of you, William. You are nothing but an overinflated, egomaniacal prick who thinks he can
control and manipulate everyone around him into giving him what he wants.”
William straightened up and walked toward Wyatt.
“Don’t you dare take one more step toward my brother,” Rainier said, moving around Laura and making his way over to the man.
William turned. He looked him up and down as if sizing him up and then lifted his nose in the air. “I don’t know who in the hell you think you are, Rainier Fitzgerald.”
“I’m the man who is going to stop you. I’ve heard all about you.”
“Oh, what have you heard? Aside from your brother’s colorful analysis of my character?”
“I know that you think you can control women, that they are nothing more than playthings to you. You were an embarrassment to your wife, Monica. And whether you want to admit it or not, you are the one who was behind her death. If you had just kept your dick in your pants, she would still be alive today.”
“You don’t know what the hell you are talking about,” William growled, moving so close that Rainier could smell the dank odor of his sweat and the stale scent of his hair oil. “We both know you’re the murderer here. You killed my father. How else could you have known where to find his body? And it’s a little odd, don’t you think, that on your first day out of prison you would come home and dig him up? I think you just wanted to get him out of here before anyone else had a chance of finding his body. And then, when your family found out, they all came to bat for you.” He pointed toward Wyatt. “Even your fucking brother.”
“That’s the dumbest thing I ever heard, William.” Rainier balled his fists in an attempt to control his rage. All he wanted to do was reach up and tear out the man’s throat. “For knowing so much about your father’s remains, I would think you would know that, according to the medical examiner, he has been dead for around twenty-five years. That means I was just a toddler when your father died. I couldn’t possibly have been the one to pull the trigger.”
William glanced over at Wyatt as if gauging his reaction, to see whether or not Rainier was telling the truth.
“Don’t look at my brother. You look at me.”
William did so, then took a step back.
“I...I didn’t know it happened that long ago. But that’s no matter,” William said, waving off Rainier’s point. “You probably planted his body and made it look like it’d been there for a long time. It’s probably just another one of your stupid games.”
The man was grasping at straws and everyone knew it.
“William, ever since you started poking around I’ve been hearing about you and what you’re capable of. Thinking back, if I had to bet, you are the one who is responsible for us finding your father’s remains here.”
“That’s asinine. I have never wanted to hurt my own father. Unlike you.”
The dam inside Rainier broke. Before he knew what he was doing, he reached up and took William by the throat. His fingers dug into the soft flesh around his trachea and squeezed. The little tube in his hand would have been so easy to crush. One motion and his family’s nightmare would be over. Everything could go back to the way it had been before hell, in the form of William Poe, had rained down on them.
“No, Rainier. Don’t do it,” Laura begged. “He’s not worth it. If you hurt him, your life is over.”
He squeezed the man’s throat just a little tighter. He was already violating his parol: if Rainier sacrificed himself by killing the man, at least he could say he had done something for his family—for the greater good.
“He isn’t your father,” Laura said. “If you kill him, it won’t fix anything.”
“But he’s so goddamned evil. He has to be stopped,” Rainier retorted, not looking away from William’s eyes as they started to bug out of his head, thanks to the pressure he was creating by closing off the flow of air and blood.
“Let the judicial system take care of it, Rainier. We don’t live in the Wild West anymore. Justice will come, but it’s going to take time. We can’t resort to violence or we’re no better than animals, and you’d be no better than your father. Don’t be like him, Rainier. If you love me at all, please...no...” she pleaded.
He let go of the man’s neck, but there were impressions from where his fingers had gripped him. William slumped down to the ground, gasping and wheezing for breath. “Screw you,” he whispered, his voice hoarse. “You’re going back to prison if it’s the last thing I do. Everyone in your family is going to pay for the mistake you just made,” he said as he stood back up after regaining his breath.
Rainier looked at Laura. She had an expression of terror on her face, as if she knew that what William was saying was true. He had just violated his parole by assaulting the man.
If he was going to go back to prison, at least he would go for something he truly deserved to be punished for.
He leaned back and, with every bit of strength he possessed, struck. His fist connected with William’s face. The scoundrel went flying across the snowy parking lot.
“Rainier! No!” Laura screamed.
Wyatt came running. “Goddamn it, Rainier!”
William lay on the ground, his back to them as he clutched his face. Blood speckled the snow, and Rainier watched a droplet melt the white crystals around it. He shouldn’t have hit him, but he couldn’t deny that it felt good to rain just a little bit of justice on the man who had wrought so much terror and tragedy on his family over the last few months. William deserved a hell of a lot more than just being punched in the face.
Leaving the man whimpering behind him, Rainier turned to face his brother and held up his hands. “Cuff me.”
Wyatt reached down to his utility belt and grabbed his handcuffs. “I don’t want to do this, Rainier. Why couldn’t you just fucking control yourself?”
“That was control.” Rainier looked down at his hands. Blood was dripping from his fingers, from where he had gripped his hands so tightly that his nails had cut through his skin.
Laura rushed to his side and threw her arms around him. “No. No. No,” she repeated over and over, as if she just couldn’t believe what had happened.
He wrapped his arms around her and smoothed her hair as he looked at her. “I made this choice. Good or bad, I have to pay the price. But know that I did this for my family, to make things right. It may seem stupid to you, and you have every right to be angry with me, but William had that coming.”
“You wouldn’t have done that if you loved me,” Laura said.
His heart shattered under the pressure and weight of her words. “This doesn’t have to do with the way I feel about you, Laura.”
“Once again, Rainier, you’re wrong.” She let go of him and walked away toward the house. On her back was the blood from his hands.
Chapter Sixteen
After all they had talked about, and despite the consequences he must have known would follow, Rainier had still acted like he hadn’t learned a thing in prison. He had failed and so had Laura. She couldn’t save anyone—even those she had thought savable. He would never change. Her father had been right. Maybe she would have been better off just walking away.
She stood at the living room window and watched as Wyatt slipped the cuffs back onto his belt, unwilling to put them on his brother. Instead, he simply walked Rainier to his squad car and opened the back door, waiting for him to get in of his own accord. Watching him climb in was one of the hardest things she had ever witnessed. It was almost as if a piece of her was being sent back to prison with him—and in a way it was.
It had been a mistake to give him any of her heart.
Eloise walked up behind her and put her arm around her shoulders. “I’m so sorry, Laura.”
Laura nodded.
“Are you going to go to the station with them?” Eloise asked.
“I...I can’t. I can’t watch him go back to t
hat place.”
She stared out at the back of Rainier’s head as he sat in the car. William and Wyatt were talking, and William had a piece of gauze stuffed up his nose. He was speaking animatedly, his hands flying as he made angry gestures. She was sure he was telling Wyatt how he was going to continue tearing away at the family.
He may have deserved what he got, but no matter how much she empathized with Rainier’s anger, she couldn’t understand Rainier’s choice. And maybe that, more than anything else, was the reason they truly couldn’t be together. She couldn’t be with a man who didn’t harbor some level of self-control. There were always moments and situations in life when it would be easier to throw a punch and resort to violence, but that didn’t mean people could allow themselves to act that way.
More than anything, he frightened her. This wasn’t like the man she had come to know over the last few days. The one she had just seen seemed far too much like the other convicts she had known over the years. All the memories of convicts who had missed meetings, threatened her, showed up drunk or high—they all came to her at once. It may have been a stereotype of the ex-con, but it was a stereotype for a reason—those things were grounded in truth.
She had been stupid and naive to think Rainier was different.
Laura turned away from the window and embraced Eloise. She buried her face in the woman’s neck and just let her tears fall. She didn’t care that she barely knew her, or that she was making a show of herself. All she cared about was the ripping sensation in her chest as her heart was torn to pieces.
“I don’t know what to say that will make you feel better, Laura,” Eloise whispered. “Know that I’m hurting, too. I never wanted to see any of my sons being taken from me—and definitely not again.”
She hadn’t thought about how Rainier’s mother must be feeling. It would of course destroy her from the inside out, as well. The poor woman had thought she would finally have her family all back together, and yet her dream was never realized. And though Eloise didn’t know it yet, William had promised that their appeal for a payment plan would fail, which meant they’d be losing the ranch.
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