No matter. He would do them. But not tonight.
“We didn’t dance,” he said.
“I know. It was too busy. Would you dance with me now, please?”
“Nothing could stop me.” And he swirled her into his arms. They danced in the empty gardens. He held her as close as he could.
“Jeremy, what you were saying…when we’re done, when I’m gone…”
“Shh, not yet.”
But soon. Barry had hinted at a breakthrough and then Eden would go home. She had a life and plans that she was eager to get back to. And tomorrow he would do what was necessary to ensure that when she left, he would never trouble her thoughts.
Eden sat at her desk and tapped out a message to the donor registry, sending it on its way. She thought of the wonderful gift Jeremy had given her and realized that it was the only birthday celebration the two of them would ever share.
“Don’t think about it. Just do what you have to do,” she ordered herself, but she knew that was impossible. She was missing him already.
As if in response to her thoughts, a knock sounded at the door, and Jeremy poked his head inside. “Care to strap on your skates and go for a spin with me?”
Immediately Eden pushed back from the desk. She and Jeremy hadn’t gone out together since the time they had made love. This might be their last time.
“I wouldn’t miss it,” she said.
Ten minutes later she placed her hand in his much larger one and they started down the lane. She breathed in deeply and sighed.
“Something wrong?” he asked, concern in his voice.
“No. Something’s right. I’ve missed these excursions. I never used to like letting people see me in situations where I might stumble or look awkward. Now I don’t worry about all that. I just love the wind in my hair.” And touching you, she thought. “I think maybe you’ve created a monster.”
Suddenly he spun until he was skating backward, holding both her hands. Her heart beat faster.
“You’re the nicest monster I’ve ever met.”
She laughed. “Met a lot of monsters, have you?”
“More than you know. Are you really enjoying yourself?”
“I am. More than you know. Thank you for showing me that I can be and do more than I thought I could.”
He stopped suddenly, letting her slide forward against him. “Last night, when you were saying goodbye to your sister, she looked at me and…”
Eden’s throat hurt. “Yes, she noticed something. I won’t lie. But she thought you were just being coy and…oh, like a typical rich guy by not looking directly at people. We grew up with so many people avoiding eye contact with us that she didn’t think too much of it.”
“And you didn’t tell her the truth.”
Eden frowned. She stared up at him. “I wouldn’t do that.”
Jeremy raised a hand and traced a finger down her cheek. Heat seared her skin. The desire to lean closer was almost more than she could bear.
“I can’t let you cover for me anymore. You’ve done everything I’ve asked of you. You’ve kept my secret and allowed me to hide, and you’ve even forced yourself into uncomfortable situations again and again.” He gestured down toward her skates.
“I told you that I love skating and biking and—”
“You didn’t always,” he said. “But you did them anyway. And you stayed with me and did your part in the presence of people who made you uncomfortable.”
“Yes, but—”
“Shh,” he said, placing two fingers over her lips. “I know. You don’t feel uncomfortable around them anymore. The butterfly has broken out of her cocoon. Your willingness to force yourself outside your comfort zone has taught me a lesson, Eden. I can’t let you continue to hide my secret anymore and I can’t keep avoiding unpleasant truths just to protect my pride. It’s something I’ve been doing all my life, not just these past months, and it’s time to stop. I’m going to come clean. Publicly. I want you to be with me. And then…”
She waited, her heart pounding in deep, painful thuds. She licked her lips and swallowed. “And then?” she said as calmly as she could manage.
Carefully, Jeremy loosened his hold on her. “Then I’ll let you go back to your own life. We’ll end it.”
His words were like a wrecking ball. She’d known the day was coming. Just not yet, and…she still wasn’t prepared. Her heart still shattered.
Somehow she managed to nod and smile. “All right. What do you need me to do?”
It seemed as if a long time passed before he spoke. “I’ll call a public meeting, a press conference and invite a few other guests, people who should know. Colleagues and people from the business community. Just stay with me until then. Until I make the announcement. In case something unexpected happens, I’d like an intelligent, calm person to be on hand. Can you stay?”
I can stay forever, she wanted to say. But that wasn’t what he wanted.
“Yes,” she promised.
Just this last appearance together and then she would go home. Such a simple plan. But as Eden left Jeremy in the garden she knew that her life after him would not be simple or easy. She had to survive loving him and losing him. And she didn’t have a clue how to do that.
Jeremy waited until he was sure that Eden had gone. Fighting for the control of his emotions that had sustained him all his life, he lost the battle. He slammed his fist into the nearest tree, ignoring the pain. It had been all he could do not to grab Eden, hold her, kiss her and beg her to stay.
He loved her, he wanted her, and he was becoming what he had feared all along, a pathetic excuse of a man who would put his own desires above those of others.
She made love with me. Surely she cares. The words shot through his brain and he heard the voices of all the women who had said similar things about him. And he had never cared. At least not in the way they had wanted him to.
Now he had to face the truth. Eden had spent her whole life caring for other people who couldn’t care for themselves. She’d had to clean up other people’s messes and take care of other people’s problems. For once in her life, she was going to have life on her terms. And she would have the children she wanted, too, the ones he couldn’t give her. He would chain himself to the desk before he would do anything that would interfere with her dreams.
Whether this job was completed or not, it was time to let people in on the truth and move on. Alone.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
EDEN was sitting at her desk with tears threatening when the message appeared on her screen. “I’m Alisson August. My son is the result of donor 465. I understand the donor may be a problem.”
Instantly Eden was alert and tense. Her hands shook as she stared at the stark, black words on the white screen. Jeremy, a problem? Any child would be lucky to have him for a donor, she wanted to say, but of course, a parent might not see things that way.
She thought for a minute. Then she began to type. Alisson August responded.
The correspondence continued into the night. It was late by the time Eden left her computer. A sense of elation warred with the knowledge that this was the last step, almost the last thing she would do for Jeremy. Her heart clenched.
But her own impending loss couldn’t matter right now. She had information she had to share. Contacting Barry, she had the briefest of conversations to call him off. “We’ll talk more later,” she said. Then she went in search of Jeremy.
The door to his office was open. The room was empty. She tried the bedroom. Also empty, the bed where they had made love a silent reminder of what could never happen again.
Finally she found Donald, who directed her to the garden.
Jeremy was leaning against a metal trellis, one hand in his pocket, the other holding a phone. When he realized she was there, he ended the call. “Eden,” he said, a smile transforming his face. “You’re a nice break from business.”
He looked so…Jeremy. Eden’s heart flipped. It hurt to even see him, now that the end
was so near.
She still hadn’t spoken, and Jeremy’s smile disappeared. “Are you all right?” Concern rolled off of him. He left the trellis and came toward her.
No, she was completely crazy right now. Confused and in love and in pain. So very happy for him and yet howling inside at the inevitable final curtain.
“I’m just fine,” she lied. “And we have good news. I have the name of the mother and the child.”
He stopped in his tracks. “That’s great,” he said, but his expression was unreadable. “Tell me more. Come sit by me.”
No. She couldn’t. Her mind and heart and body couldn’t take being too near. Not in her present jittery state.
“I’ve been sitting awhile,” she said. “Let me stand while I tell you.”
He gave her a curt nod and advanced a step closer. Such a tiny step, but longing flooded her heart. She battled tears and found a smile. Not a convincing one, it seemed.
“You’re distressed,” he said, reaching out as if to touch her.
“No!” she said, rushing in to spare him from worrying. “I’m sorry. I’m just a bit tired.” Lying was becoming such a bad habit. “No, the news is mostly good. The mother has been lurking on the board, so you and your condition were no surprise. She had plenty of time to ask questions of friends and professionals. She took her son for genetic testing. She checked you out thoroughly.”
“The child?”
“No identifiable problems.”
Jeremy closed his eyes. When he opened them again, he came right up to Eden and kissed her on the forehead. He folded her against his heart. “Thank goodness. Thank you for finding the truth.”
Eden was struggling not to let Jeremy see how he affected her. She had to keep talking.
“The mother, Alisson August, knows who you are, but she doesn’t want to meet you now,” she said, pulling back in his arms to look at him. “She doesn’t want assistance yet, but she sees the wisdom of keeping the door open. If things should change or if any new medical evidence should become available, she’d want to do something then.”
Jeremy nodded. He released Eden and when they parted—“You crinkled,” he said.
She remembered the papers she had been bringing him. She handed over a magnifier. “Alisson e-mailed me this.”
Jeremy looked down at the woman and child on the page and froze. “He looks like me,” he said.
“A lot,” Eden agreed. “I think that’s part of the reason Alisson wants to keep you a secret from him for now. She’s afraid the resemblance will either scare him or make him want something he can’t have. She’s single.”
They turned their attention to the woman, who was blond and ordinary yet very appealingly pretty. A quiet person, Alisson had said. Suddenly the truth dawned on Eden.
Jeremy could have a family if he wanted one. There was no impediment because of his genetic material. This child was already here, already safe. This woman knew who he was and yet she wasn’t crowding to get near him. She wouldn’t be too demanding. She knew his situation and his condition and—
“She was glad you contacted her,” Eden said. “She wasn’t condescending or pitying or any of those things you don’t like in a woman.”
Jeremy frowned. “Eden?”
She bit her lip to keep it from trembling and struggled to find her voice. “You could have what you thought you never could have,” she finally managed to say. “Without guilt.” But her throat was closing up. Her eyes were burning. She couldn’t continue.
Jeremy dropped the paper and gathered her close. “Don’t,” he said, thickly. “Don’t cry.”
“I’m not.”
But of course she was. “I’m just so happy for you,” she said. Another lie. “I want you to be happy. So much.” Which was the complete truth and yet not the truth at all.
Because she wanted him to be happy with her. With Eden Byars. She wanted him to love her. She had, finally, done the most stupid thing she could ever do. She had given to Jeremy all she had to give. And now she had nothing to take away with her. And yet…
“Please be happy,” she begged.
He kissed her slowly, carefully, her tears wetting her face.
“I will. You won’t have to worry,” he promised. “I don’t want you to ever worry.”
She nodded against his face. “I won’t. I mean, I’ll have so much to do when I get home. Getting my classroom ready. Researching my plans for the school. Getting together with friends I’ve missed.” She stopped, unable to continue her lies or hold her smile. “I really have to go. The press conference is tomorrow. Mrs. Ruskin and I have some last-minute items to go over. She spoke to you earlier?”
“About the arrangement of the furniture to accommodate the crowd? Yes. I owe you two a debt of gratitude for thinking of that and letting me know the placement of everything. I need to come clean, but if it has to be done, I’d at least like to do it with some dignity. Admitting to the world that I have a disease is one thing. Letting them see me stumble is another. The last thing I want is for this to turn into a pity party. I don’t want to be seen as weak.”
“We’ll run through a rehearsal tonight.” But Jeremy wouldn’t stumble, Eden knew. He’d gotten very good at this kind of thing. She was the one who had made mistakes. And yes, she might be a changed woman, a woman of confidence who ran toward adventure now when she had run from it in the past, but where Jeremy was concerned she had stumbled badly.
Tomorrow would be both the proudest day she could remember and a nightmare as well.
Eden tried to pretend that today was like any other, but her heart wasn’t having any of it. Her bags were packed and there were only a few hours left before Cinderella’s carriage turned back into a pumpkin.
“Don’t get morose,” she ordered herself. There were still those few hours left. Jeremy still needed her.
This gathering had turned into something bigger than anticipated. Word had gotten out that Jeremy Fulton, who rarely spoke to the press, was having a big gathering and that the papers were invited. Suddenly people who hadn’t been invited were calling to see if they could attend. A blurb snuck into a local paper, an Internet blog speculated on what could be so momentous that the head of the Fulton empire would bother to invite the press to his home.
Lula and Mrs. Ruskin had been forced to hire temps to help out, but at last everything seemed to be ready. The ballroom had been opened and arranged. Jeremy knew where everything was located. All that remained was for him to greet his guests, entertain them in that wonderful way he had and make a tasteful announcement about his condition, qualifying that with the fact that Fulton Enterprises was doing better than ever and so was the head of the company.
With a little luck the public would take the news in stride, Jeremy would see his guests out and then she and Jeremy would say their final goodbyes.
By tomorrow she would be back in St. Louis. I’ll be happy. She forced the thought out. Jeremy needed a smiling, able assistant at his side tonight, not a woman in tears.
As if her thoughts had called him, the door to his room opened and he came down to the lobby where she was looking out the window.
“No curiosity seekers yet?” he asked with a grin.
She gave him a mock-stern look. “Don’t be flippant. I know you’d rather be having all your teeth pulled than doing this.”
Jeremy raised an eyebrow. “Well, that would get the press’s attention, if I showed up without any teeth.”
She bopped him on the arm. “Behave.”
“Yes, teacher,” he drawled. “And, Eden?” He leaned close, so close that his lips warmed her ear and sent a delicious shiver down her spine. “You and Mrs. Ruskin and Lula pulled off a coup. It was a good idea to make this more of a party than a mere press conference.”
“That’s because Mrs. Ruskin said that you look your best in a tux, a crisp white shirt and black bow tie. She was right.”
A low growl escaped him and he leaned closer just as the doorbell rang.
> “Receiving line, my lady,” he said, offering his arm as Donald came in dressed in full formal butler garb. The older man gave Eden a wink.
“Places, everyone,” Jeremy teased, but his arm was steely beneath Eden’s palm. This could be the nightmare he had dreaded for so long. She intended to make sure that it wasn’t.
An hour later, she decided that her fears had been misplaced. Jeremy had handled the entire affair with his usual charm and aplomb. He had made each woman who entered his house feel special and beautiful. He had made every man laugh.
“Fulton, you know how to throw a press conference. Great food, gorgeous women, good music. None of those dry-as-sawdust, stuffy affairs we’re all used to,” Jonathan DeFray said, pounding Jeremy on the back.
“We didn’t want to put anyone to sleep,” Jeremy said with an amused look.
“Fat chance of that. When a man goes to these lengths for what’s supposed to be a press conference, I’ll assume he’s got something pretty important to announce. Everyone’s holding their breath. What is it, Fulton? New project, something international? Have you come up with some new technology that will rock everyone’s world?”
Again, Eden felt Jeremy tense beside her though his face and his demeanor betrayed none of that tension. “Nothing so exciting,” he told Jonathan. Then he turned to Eden. “It’s time.”
She stood aside as he moved to the microphone. Her breath froze in her throat. If she could have taken his place, taken his condition in that moment, she would have.
“I’ve called you here tonight for a simple announcement,” Jeremy said calmly. “Because I work with so many of you, you deserve to know that there’s been a change in my life, but I want you to know that it’s not a change that will affect our relationships. At least, I hope it won’t.”
A murmur went through the crowd.
Jeremy held up his hand. “In recent months, I’ve been diagnosed with a condition that’s stealing my vision. In a few words, I’m slowly going blind.”
Her Millionaire, His Miracle Page 14