She blinked up at him, a question clear in the way she drew her brows together.
“You did great. Perfect. I have to try some other things with you, but later. Later. You’re done for now. Come on, lean into me.”
He stood with her in his arms and carried her to the bed, laid her down and draped a blanket over her. He watched her for several moments, his gaze roving the hills and valleys of her body beneath the cashmere blanket, then up to her now-calm gaze, her flushed cheeks.
Need to get my head clear. Need just a minute…
“I’ll bring you something to drink,” he told her before walking from the room.
What the hell was wrong with him? Adam paced his narrow kitchen, a glass of water in his hand. He should bring it to her. But he needed time to calm down.
Christ, the way she’d squirmed and moaned in his lap…
He’d spanked dozens of other beautiful women. None had ever affected him the way Skye did. He hadn’t fucking allowed it. What was it about her? Maybe the way she’d fought so hard when they were talking about her submitting, then slipped into it as easily as any experienced bottom the moment he’d laid his hands on her?
Whatever it was, he had the hard-on of his life and he’d been seconds from tearing his clothes off and fucking her senseless.
Unforgivable, that loss of control for a Dom.
Even now he couldn’t get the image out of his mind of her skin pinking so beautifully under his hands. That glorious mass of chestnut hair falling over her naked back. Fucking poetry, everything about this woman.
Was that why he needed to kiss her as badly as he needed to fuck her?
He shook his head at his translucent reflection in the kitchen window, frowning.
He had to get back in there. Inexcusable to leave her alone for more than a few moments after her first play session.
He scrubbed at his goatee, dragged in a long breath, blew it out and headed back to the bedroom. She was draped across his bed, her pose languorous, utterly relaxed. The blanket he’d wrapped her in had slipped down, exposing her flawless breasts. Unbelievable, that gorgeous skin, the areola a dusky pink, her darker pink nipples swollen and so damn succulent all he wanted was to take them in his mouth and suck.
Instead he bent over her, helped her to sit up and take a few sips of water.
“How do you feel?” he asked.
“Fine. Great, if you really want to know.” She smiled, dazzling him. Too beautiful.
“I’ll keep you here a while, let you come down before I take you home.”
“Home? Do I have to go?”
Her voice was a soft, husky sound, her brown eyes enormous. Hell, he’d keep her there forever, if he could.
But of course, he wouldn’t do that.
He never let any woman stay at his home.
Want her here…
He cleared his throat. “Don’t worry,” he told her. “You’ll be here with me for a while.”
“Okay.” The answer seemed to satisfy her. She closed her eyes, her dark lashes laying like a sooty fringe against her flushed cheeks.
She curled onto her side and he sat on the bed, keeping some distance from her soft body. His cock was still hard as stone. Distracting. But he forced himself to sit still next to her, to stroke her back while she dozed, making sure she had enough human contact to help her come down from the lofty heights where her mind, her body, had been flying.
He was still rock hard two hours later when he helped her get dressed, put her in his car and drove her home.
She was silent in the car as they sped through the dark city, past the dim streetlights, the slowly moving streetcars. He was grateful for her quiet sleepiness. Grateful he didn’t have to make conversation. His head was too twisted up. There was barely enough room in there for his own thoughts. Thoughts he couldn’t untangle enough to make sense of.
And what was this deep churning in his gut? Telling him—demanding of him—that he see her again as soon as possible?
This was not the kind of thing he was used to feeling. Not the kind of thing he did other than for training purposes. Certainly not with this strange yearning.
He glanced over at her, needing to reassure himself that she was okay. Her eyes were half closed, her head resting on the back of the seat. He turned back to the road and downshifted as they climbed the steep Church Street hill.
He was doing his job—that was all. That was all he ever did. He did it damn well. He didn’t need to make excuses to himself tonight about why he wasn’t doing more. Letting her stay with him. Holding her all night.
Fuck.
When they arrived at her building he helped her from the car and up the stairs, her warm little body pressed against him all the way up. The scent of her, the feel of her, was making his stomach tighten up again. He tried to mentally shake it off, whatever the hell it was.
He got her inside the apartment, quickly took in the comfortable furnishings, the beautifully worn antiques. He took her coat from her shoulders, sat her down on the overstuffed velvet sofa. Her long hair was mussed, her eyes still glazed, her lips a perfect candy pink, wanting to be kissed. But all he dared was a quick brush of his mouth across her forehead.
“You’ll be fine,” he told her. He didn’t want to stay longer than he had to—just long enough to make sure she was okay. He was too undone. He didn’t trust himself.
“Yes, I’m fine. Wonderful. A little tired.” She smiled sleepily.
“I’m going to let you get some rest, then. I’ll see you next week. Make yourself ready for me. I’ll email you instructions tomorrow.”
Her smile widened. “Yes, Sir.”
He laughed. “No need for that. That’s not what you and I are about, not what you need right now. I’m Adam to you, beautiful girl.”
“Yes, Adam.” She blinked, barely able to keep her eyes open. “Tomorrow.”
He stared at her, searched her face for any sign of panic or disorientation. “You’re to call me if you experience any sub-drop. Damn it, we didn’t go over this, and frankly that’s inexcusable on my part. If you feel panicky or depressed, or strange in any way, you’re to call me. Understood?”
“Yes. Understood, Adam.” She smiled at him.
“Okay. Good.”
He leaned in and brushed his lips across her forehead once more, then before he could stop himself, over her smooth, warm cheek. She made a small sound of pleasure, just an easy escape of breath from between her lips.
He let his hand sweep over her hair for a moment before he made his escape—for that’s exactly what it was—as quickly as he could down the old staircase and onto the street. He got in his car, started the engine and drove home a little too fast.
Back at his place he paced his living room, trying to figure out what was going on in his damn head. Why he could barely stand to leave her at her apartment despite the driving need to flee.
He never became attached to a woman. Never had, never would. He understood why he was like this, the lone wolf. He had damn good reason to be. He’d had one huge loss early in life—hell, two—and he wasn’t about to set himself up to go through that again. Ever. He’d successfully avoided attachment since that God-awful night, so long ago. Why the hell was it so damn hard to let Skye go, even for what little was left of the night?
He strode to the sideboard in his dining room, poured himself a scotch and threw it back. It burned going down, a good cleansing burn. He poured himself another, then shook his head and set it down on the sideboard so hard the golden liquid splashed.
“Fuck it.”
He stalked into the bathroom, where he turned the hot water on to blasting in the shower. He peeled his shirt off, yanked down the zipper on his slacks. But he couldn’t fucking wait to get into the shower. Instead, he pulled his cock out and began to stroke. He caught sight of his face in the mirror over the sink before he closed his eyes and saw her face. Her lush body. Imagined the dark pink of her hard nipples, the plump curve and the heat of her b
reasts in his hands.
Oh, yes.
He thought of leaning down to suck on her nipples, tugging them with his teeth until they were long and swollen on his tongue…his fingers pushing into her soaking wet pussy, then his cock.
He arched his hips into his tightly fisted hand, over and over, imagining what it would feel like to fuck her.
“Skye…have to fuck you, beautiful girl,” he muttered between clenched teeth.
He fucked his own hand instead, pleasure spiraling, a coiled spring in his gut, in his balls, his swollen cock.
In his head he turned her over, his cock driving deep into her while he smacked her perfect ass, harder and harder until she was squirming, panting, her gorgeous skin beginning to welt.
Fucking her…spanking her…using his hard, pinching fingers on her clit to make her come. To make her scream.
“Ah, Skye!”
He came into his fist in long, shattering jolts of pleasure, his hips pumping.
“Fuck.”
He braced himself on the edge of the granite counter, his breath coming in rasping pants. When he’d finally caught his breath he glanced up, saw his own pleasure-torn face in the mirror. Saw the doubt in his eyes.
Skye.
Why couldn’t he get this girl out of his mind?
He was supposed to see her in a week. He’d better have his shit together by then. He would. Control was key, the antithesis of weakness. He’d had years of practice. He knew how to do it, how to keep his emotions at bay.
He damn well refused to be weak.
The problem was, he’d never been challenged in this way before. While he told himself he could handle the situation, he wasn’t completely certain he believed it.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Morning dawned with the usual San Francisco fog floating outside her bedroom windows. Skye glanced at the clock on her nightstand. Almost ten. Late for her. But she didn’t want to get out of her warm bed yet. She stretched, noticing how her arms and legs felt used, a little sore. Her nipples felt the same way. She ran a hand over her bottom and smiled at the tenderness of the skin there.
Why should this make her happy?
She didn’t know. She only knew that it did.
She smoothed her hands over her body: her stomach, her ribs, her breasts. Beneath her fingertips her nipples came up hard. Her skin was hyper-sensitive everywhere, as though her night with Adam had awakened something in her.
The trilling of her cell phone made her jump, and she grabbed it off her nightstand, a part of her wishing it would be him. She glanced at the caller ID.
“Hey, Esme.”
“Good morning, cous. Get any sleep last night?”
“Not much. And you’re too damned chipper.”
“You know me—I’ve always been a morning person. You, on the other hand, can be a right witch in the morning. And it’s nearly ten, hardly even morning anymore. So, tell me. What happened? How are you?”
“I’m fine. I feel good in sort of…strange ways.”
“Bruised?”
“Maybe a little. More sore than bruised.”
“Get some of that arnica gel I told you about—it’ll help with the bruising and the soreness.”
“I will.”
“So? How was your evening?”
“Pretty damn thrilling if you want to know the truth. What I’m not so thrilled about is…that he was right about me.”
“I would have suspected that. You’re too attached to your own sense of control to be happy about it,” Esme suggested, only half teasing.
“I know. But I can’t deny the way my body responded to the things he did to me. Hell, I can’t deny what he did to my head.”
And maybe to her heart.
But no, that was ridiculous. She hardly knew the man.
I know everything I need to know.
Why was the voice in her head so damn smug? Maybe because it was right?
“Esme, what do I really even know about him?” she asked, exasperated with her own sense of doubt, hoping for an answer.
“Well, it seems to me you know quite a bit, from what you’ve told me—that he’s gorgeous, intelligent, articulate. And kinky.” She paused, her tone growing more serious. “And it seems you know you can trust him.”
“Yes. No, that isn’t quite right. It’s too easy. And him being kinky is too crude an explanation. I mean, he is but...Adam is a true sensualist. I can see it in everything he does. The way he moves, the way he…the way he touched me. The way he shifts his damn car. In the simple luxury of his home—you should see the art covering his walls. He knows art. Unless he used a decorator, but I don’t think he did.”
“He sounds like the perfect man for you.”
“Maybe. Except that this BDSM thing is a huge part of his life and for me it’s a temporary experience. All we have is this carved out bit of time together—a few days, a few weeks, maybe. By then I’ll have this urge worked out of my system and whatever is going on between us will be over, exactly as it’s supposed to be. I don’t even know why I’m spending so much time trying to figure it all out.”
“Sometimes the best laid plans, and all that, Skye.”
“Sometimes. Not for me.”
“Don’t let my rotten uncle and your even more rotten father ruin this for you, Skye. Don’t let your poor choice of men in the past convince you to turn away from something that could be really great,” Esme insisted.
“I know you mean well, but this thing with Adam is great. Confusing as hell, but great. For now. So I’m not throwing anything away. It’s just…what it was meant to be. A slice of life experience. Which is perfectly okay.”
“Is it, ducks?” Esme asked gently.
“Yes. It’s fine. I’m fine. It’s just…good to check in with you this morning.”
“I’m glad you did. If you need anything—”
“…I know where to find you.” She needed to get off the phone. As much as she loved talking with her cousin, she needed time to simply wrap her head around this. “Don’t worry about me. Really. This was meant to be a short-lived thing. Adam and I are on the same page about it.”
“If you say so, cous. I’ll talk to you later, then?”
They hung up and she plumped her pillow and turned onto her side where she could gaze out the window at the gray sky.
Were they on the same page? Was she even certain what page she was on, despite what she’d told her cousin?
Adam certainly hadn’t given her any hint that this would continue longer than was necessary for her to understand what her desires were all about. Hell, they hadn’t even slept together. What reason would he have to become attached to her?
And why did she want him to be?
Tears stung her eyes when she remembered how he’d stayed next to her on the bed after he’d spanked her last night. Just sat with her, stroking her back, her hair. What kind of man did that? Then he’d dressed her himself, like she was some porcelain doll, had handed her into his car so carefully before he’d driven her home. Every moment, every gesture, had been gentle, caring.
He was just being a responsible Dom.
Yes, of course. It was the irrational, girlish part of her that thought she’d read something more there. A part of her she’d closed off a long time ago.
It seemed Adam Dunne was loosening the tight hold she’d always kept over her emotions. Opening her up. Breaking her open. He frankly scared the hell out of her. But she would go back to him as soon as he wanted her.
She wouldn’t miss it for all the world.
She had to stop thinking about him.
She threw back the covers and got up, took a quick shower before going into the kitchen to make a strong cup of coffee, which she drank at her kitchen table, staring out the small window, thinking about her night with Adam. Or, trying to. Her brain was still fuzzy. She felt more than she thought. Her body remembered sensations, sounds, scents. And most of all the heat of his hands on her body.
Oh, yes…
<
br /> She sipped her coffee, her head lost in a sort of kinky dreamland. When she lifted the cup to her lips and found it empty she was surprised. Even more surprised to glance at the clock on her microwave and seeing she’d been sitting there for nearly an hour.
When she returned to her bedroom she found she’d missed a call from Adam. Her heart began a steady, harsh beat as she dialed his number.
“Hello, Skye.”
“Adam…hi.”
“What have you been doing?”
“I was just drinking some coffee. I checked in with my cousin. And I took a shower. I was sore and I—”
“Skye. That was not meant to be an interrogation. I just wanted to know how your day was going.”
“Oh.”
“So? How is your day going?”
She bit her lip. “It’s…been fine. I’m a little tired. Spacey.”
“And sore?”
“Yes.”
“Good.”
She laughed. “You really are a sadist.”
A small chuckle from him. “I’ve never claimed otherwise.”
She could hear the humor in his voice. She liked it. Liked that he could be so serious with her when they were sceneing, and that he was beginning to relax with her now, too.
“A long, hot shower is good for the soreness,” he told her. “You can use an ice pack if you need it.”
“Do you expect I’ll ever need an ice pack?” she asked, flirting as much as she dared with him.
His tone lowered. “I have specific plans that I hope will require an ice pack.”
He was still joking—to some extent. But the words made her go soft and warm and needy all over.
“I hope so, too.”
Another chuckle from him. Then he asked, “Tell me, Skye, have you had any symptoms of sub drop? Any unreasonable fears? Fleeting depression, melancholy? Anything out of the ordinary that we should talk about?”
“No, just that spaciness. No mood instability. I really do feel good.”
“Excellent. If you do, you’re to call me right away. And this is not an arguable point. Now, tell me what your week will be like.”
“I have two classes to teach, on Tuesday and Thursday.”
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