Later I found out that ever since Kim had been moved from Lee County Jail to the Lowell prison in Ocala in February 2013, Veronica had started dating another girl behind my back: Jasmine. Actually she had already been cheating on Kim with Jasmine, but once Kim was out of the picture, Veronica was officially dating Jasmine, while telling me that she was my loving, faithful girlfriend and future wife, and while still writing Kim letters at Lowell, and pretending that she was still with her. She wanted to get her hands on Kim's baby.
Kim was going to give birth in prison soon. Her parents knew the father was Lay-Z, that lowlife dope boy she fucked in rehab, so they wanted nothing to do with the baby, and it was going to be taken by DCF.
Veronica continued to tell Kim that she wanted to raise Kim's baby together with her, once she got out of jail. But she had really already moved on from Kim to Jasmine, and now she planned to adopt Kim's baby, cut Kim off altogether, and raise the baby as her own with Jasmine.
Veronica had endometriosis. It made her periods very painful, and it caused scarring in her fallopian tubes. There was a 50/50 chance she would never be able to get pregnant. And the state was never going to allow her to adopt a baby legally, because she had 3 strikes against her. She had a history of drug addiction, she had hepatitis C, and she was a convicted felon. So she figured her best bet to have a baby was to take someone else's.
I was being nosy and looked at her Facebook page ever other day or so. I could tell by the things she was posting that she was back on drugs. She brazenly posted pictures of herself making out with several drug addicted guys and girls, even though she supposedly was in a relationship with Jasmine. She was totally reckless and selfish. Veronica didn't care if anyone told Jasmine that she was cheating on her. She figured she could talk her way out of it. And the whole thing with Jasmine was really just another one in the endless list of her shallow, fake, meaningless relationships anyway.
A few months earlier, while she was still in dorm 2 in jail, she had sent me some of her rehab worksheets. One of them was about all the things a drug addict has to avoid to prevent a relapse. But now her Facebook posts showed that she was breaking every single one of the rules she needed to follow in order not to relapse. She was hanging out with all her old drug addict friends, she hung out with her mother Rachel who was her biggest trigger, she drank alcohol, and so on and so forth.
Then Veronica posted a picture of a new tattoo she got on her wrist, with Jasmine's name. In jail she had told so many different people that she was going to get a tattoo with their name, and now that she was out, she really got one. But instead of my name, it was Jasmine's.
I thought I was over and done with her, but seeing that tattoo really hurt. I lost it. I hated her sooo fucking much. I wrote her a nasty message on Facebook and cursed her out. I couldn't help myself. I needed to vent my utter contempt for her.
Veronica wrote back, but she really didn't make much sense. I could tell she was high. Some of what she wrote was arrogant like she didn't give a shit about me, and in other parts she wrote that she really did love me and she was sorry she ran off like that.
I found out later that some drug dealing nigger, who called himself Urban, had written her a postcard two weeks before she was released from jail and told her he would "help her out" by giving her lots of drugs once she got out.
I realized that for most of her time in jail, she had been on the fence about whether she should really come home and live sober with me, like she told me, or move into the empty apartment her dad got her and live there unsupervised, so she could do whatever she wanted, without anyone giving her a hard time about doing drugs. Once she got the postcard from Urban, her mind was made up. That's when she first told me that I shouldn't pick her up from jail, because her dad was coming to town to pick her up.
As soon as she got out, and hung out with her mother, she relapsed. She was taking Xanax and drinking, just like Rachel. Then she started dating Urban and had sex with him to get crack and heroin, while still pretending to be dating Jasmine, because she didn't want any of her so-called friends to know that she wasn't really making money selling drugs, but sucking a dope boy's dick for drugs. She wanted to appear like a successful hustler, not like a loser crackwhore.
Officially Urban was just her "best friend." But they had sex every day, and she told him that she loved him and wanted to have a baby with him. She got his name tattooed on her ankle. She told me later that she was high as a kite when she got the tattoos with Jasmine's and Urban's names and she couldn't believe she'd do something so stupid, because she didn't really care about either one of them. I guess she just fell into the same old rut of dating a dope boy and a crackwhore at the same time, like she always had in the past.
But while she was supposedly dating them, she was having sex with a bunch of other people. She was tricking with at least half a dozen guys and had sex with a couple of girls in exchange for giving them drugs. It was sad and pathetic, but she thought she was pimpin'.
At some point I guess she really did start to miss me, and she kept trying to find excuses to write me text messages to ask me pointless questions. Then she told me that she really loved me and wanted to prove it to me by paying me back all the money I had put on her books while she was in jail.
She said she'd start paying me back at least $30 every week and that all I had to do was come to her apartment and pick it up in person. I knew it was really just her way of trying to have me back in her life. She wanted to see me so badly, she was willing to pay me to come see her, just like she was paying the girls she had sex with by feeding them drugs she had gotten from Urban for sucking his dick.
But she had hurt me so badly, I hated her guts. I never wanted to see her again. I told her I appreciated the gesture, but that there was no need for me to pick up the money in person. She could send it by Western Union, or mail me a check, or send it via Paypal, or load it on a Green Dot card for me. But she kept telling me that all that was too difficult, and I should just come to her place and get it in person. Finally I told her that I wasn't even in Florida. I had been in New York for the past few weeks, ever since Lucy went to jail. I didn't tell Veronica about Lucy yet though.
I started to feel bad for Veronica, because I knew that under her fake front, she was miserable with her life. I knew she regretted her decision to run off like that after she got out of jail. And she was ashamed that she had relapsed so quickly. I told her a few times that I could tell by the way she sounded on the phone, and by her Facebook messages, and the odd pauses between her text messages, that she was using drugs again. But she kept denying it and pretended that everything was great, and she was clean. We started talking to each other more and more again.
Then one day she posted on Facebook that she really really wanted to have a baby. It made me pretty emotional to read that, because we had talked about having a baby together for the past year and a half. That thought doesn't just go away from one minute to the next. So I asked her if she still wanted to have a baby together.
She was really happy and said yes. But she was also scared, because she was afraid it was some sort of trap, and I was going to get her hopes up, and then hurt her really badly somehow to get revenge for what she did to me. I promised her that I wasn't playing any games, and that I was just as serious about having a baby with her as she was. We made plans for me to return to Fort Myers as soon as possible, and stay with her at her apartment on Brantley Road. We would have sex every day, until she was pregnant.
I asked her what she was going to tell her so-called girlfriend Jasmine. She told me she'd figure something out. I could tell she really wasn't all that worried about Jasmine, because the whole relationship really was just fake bullshit, even though Veronica didn't want to admit it. But it was really just her excuse for why she didn't come home to live sober with me. As long as she supposedly was in a relationship with someone else, she had an excuse to keep living on Brantley Road, and do drugs.
Later I found out that Veron
ica had 2 roommates: Anita and Kathleen. Kathleen was very very pregnant, and Veronica had been hitting on her, had sex with her while she was pregnant, and told her she wanted to have a relationship with her and raise her baby with her.
And Veronica had sex with one of her old girlfriends, Shelly, who was also about to give birth in a few weeks. Veronica also told her that she loved her, wanted to have a future with her, and raise her baby with her. She was fishing again, hoping to get her hands on at least one of all these babies that were about to be born.
LOTS OF BABY MAKING
"I'm addicted and I don't know why
Guess I've always been this way
All these roads steer me wrong
But I still drive them all night long, all night long
All you young wild girls
You make a mess of me
Yeah, you young wild girls
You'll be the death of me, the death of me"
Bruno Mars
Kathleen had a warrant and was hiding from the police. The U.S. Marshals raided Veronica's apartment and arrested Kathleen. She was in jail before I got back to Fort Myers.
When I arrived at Veronica's apartment, she opened the door with a shy smile. She was white as a ghost, had dark rings under her eyes and scabs all over her face. She looked like shit.
I gave her a hug and said: "Let's just get this out of the way... I know you're using again, so don't even bother pretending you're clean."
First she tried to deny it. Then she admitted she had been smoking crack "here and there, but not all the time, and not in a couple of days." I knew she was lying, because her scabs were so fresh, some of them were still bleeding. She probably took a hit of crack right before she opened the door for me.
It had been two months since she got out of jail. Now that she stood in front of me, I realized how much I had missed her. I couldn't help it. When I get attached to someone, I get really really attached. It is almost impossible for me to let go. And even after everything that had happened, after everything she did, I still loved her.
I quickly realized that her apartment was now a trap house. People were coming and going 24/7 to buy or sell drugs. People were smoking crack around the clock. Hookers used the bedrooms to trick. Her roommate Anita was also a drug addicted hooker, and she had guys over and had sex with them right there in the apartment. Veronica told me that she wasn't doing anything like that. She claimed she was making money selling drugs. But later I found out that was all bullshit. She had sex with a bunch of guys, even while I was staying with her. She tried to hide it from me, but it was only a matter of time before I realized what was going on. It broke my heart all over again.
While she was hiding the fact that she was having sex with other guys behind my back, she was open about having sex with several girls. She was so badly on drugs, her brain was not working right. She couldn't even feel her own feelings, never mind empathize with someone else's. It simply didn't register in her brain, how badly she was hurting me whenever she told me that she wanted to have sex with this girl or that girl. She thought as long as we had sex every day, I would be ok with her sleeping around. She just wasn't used to someone really caring about her and about what she did.
It was exhausting for me to be around all these crackheads, because they never went to sleep. Before I got there, I thought Veronica and I would have some private time at night, to cuddle up and watch movies in bed, but she and the others smoked crack all night, until the sun came up. They stayed up for days at a time. Veronica and I usually had to sneak into the bedroom for a few minutes at some point during the day, to try to make a baby, while people were in the other rooms, smoking crack.
Every time Veronica promised that we'd have a night to ourselves, she'd just end up smoking crack with a bunch of people. I got pissed, and went home. I needed some sleep. But the next day I came back to her place. This went on for a couple of days.
One day, after Veronica and I finished having sex, she was lying in bed next to me as usual, with her knees pulled up to her chest, because resting in that position for a few minutes afterwards was supposed to make it easier for my sperm to travel through her cervix, and help her conceive. Then she asked me if I'd like to watch her fuck her roommate Anita. Anita was a pretty 27 year old blonde. Under any other circumstances I probably would have liked to see her naked. But the thought of watching Veronica cheat on me wasn't appealing at all.
"I don't know," I said. "I'd probably get really jealous if I watched you have sex with someone else. I'd feel really left out."
"After I fuck her, you can fuck me," Veronica said. "Or you can fuck her if you want to."
"You'd be ok with me having sex with Anita?" I asked.
"Yeah, as long as I get to fuck her too," she laughed. "I had sex with Anita two weeks ago, before you got back to Fort Myers. It was amazing. We fucked for like 2 hours. You're gonna like fucking her."
Two hours? She had probably been rolling on ecstasy or something, I figured.
Then Veronica pulled a bag out of her closet, and poured out the contents onto the bed next to me. It was at least half a dozen large dildos and vibrators.
"What the hell?! Where did you get all these?" I asked. I regretted that question as soon as it came out of my mouth. I really didn't want to hear that Urban or some other guy bought them, because he liked to fuck her with these sex toys. I couldn't handle that thought. And I didn't want to hear about her fucking some other girl with a dildo.
"They're my mom's," Veronica replied with a giggle.
"WHAT?!? Why do you have your mom's dildos?!?" I asked. After everything I had heard about Veronica's and Rachel's sick mother-daughter relationship, I honestly expected her to tell me that she and her mother had played with the dildos together while having sex with each other, or some guy. I wouldn't put it past them that maybe they had a threesome together with a dope boy or something.
"My mom stayed with me for a few days," she explained, while closely examining each one of the dildos, sliding her hand along the shaft, and checking the batteries. They were all dead. I guess having sex for two hours with Anita will do that.
Veronica explained that Rachel had been cheating on Veronica's stepdad with her new boyfriend, Ted, an engineer from Toronto, Canada. That's why Rachel needed the dildos, while she was staying at Veronica's apartment. And now she and her mom were sharing the dildos. Lovely. No wonder Veronica was so screwed up in the head.
"If you like watching me fuck Anita, the three of us could have sex together all the time," Veronica suggested. "Or maybe we could even be in a threeway relationship together. That way I get to fuck a girl whenever I feel like it, and you get to fuck both of us."
That was not my idea of a relationship. I didn't want to share Veronica with anyone. I didn't want it to be ok for us to sleep with other people. I knew it would just lead to problems and heartache. Sometimes I really wished I could not care. Life would be so much simpler.
But the more Veronica talked about us having a threesome with Anita, the more tempting the idea became. Finally she persuaded me. I was going to give it a try at least once. Hey, how bad could it be to have sex with two beautiful girls? And if it would make Veronica happy...
I started to get excited about the idea. I couldn't wait to try it. Now I was actually looking forward to having sex with Veronica and Anita. And then Veronica passed out. She hadn't slept in a few days, and NOW she was gonna go to sleep? What the fuck?!
I couldn't sleep. I went in the living room to watch some TV. Anita was sitting on the couch. We ended up talking for hours. She was really nice. Then she took a shower and walked around naked in front of me, like it was no big deal, while we continued talking.
I pretended not to notice how pretty she looked naked. Eventually I asked her if Veronica had mentioned anything about a threesome, or a threeway relationship. Anita said yes, they had talked about it last night. I asked her how she felt about it. She said: "I think you're really cool, and yeah, I'd like to da
te you. And if Veronica is ok with it, hey, let's all be one big happy family!"
We both smiled. I mentioned that Veronica told me that they had sex two weeks ago. Anita replied: "Two weeks ago? No, we had sex last night, when you went home to get some sleep."
What the FUCK?!? Veronica had lied to me and cheated on me again. This shit with her was just never gonna stop. I just couldn't trust anything she said. Anita could tell I was upset, and said she was sorry. "But once you and I had sex too, you'll feel better," she said. "You wanna try to wake up Veronica, so you can fuck both of us?"
Sex and Crime: Oliver's Strange Journey Page 42