by Disney Books
I checked Instagram. There were lots of posts from the dance—including Gina’s picture of us. I wondered what Nini would think when she saw that post. Where were Nini and Kourtney? I sighed. At least I knew she wasn’t out with Ricky.
As I scrolled through more photos on my phone, I hovered over the picture of Nini and me right before the auditions. I stared at the photo. We were both grinning and hugging each other by her locker. I was in my Wildcats basketball jersey and she was in her lucky East High sweatshirt. I always dreamed of my senior year at East High, being onstage in the lead role of the school musical and being a popular varsity athlete. When that photo was taken, I was sure we’d be East High’s Troy and Gabriella.
Over the summer, I had really gotten to know Nini. When we first got together at drama camp, I realized she was different. I knew she was an underclassman at East High and had been in the Gypsy cast as the backside of a cow. What a waste of her talents! I noticed her during that production but only got to know her during camp. Nini needed drama camp to come into her own. Her voice was amazing, and once she gained confidence, she shined when she was center stage.
We had a great time together over the summer, and I thought we had what it took to last. She was the perfect complement to my senior year dream. There were lots of other couples at camp, and those show-mances were one thing, but Nini and I were different. We had spent a ton of time together over the summer and I really fell for her. And best of all, we went to the same high school, so our show-mance didn’t have to end when camp did. When I thought about it, I realized that she was the first girl I had ever really loved. The way she had looked at me made me want to be a better person. She had believed in me.
I missed the way she looked at me.
As “Born to Be Brave” ended, I saw Seb walking into the gym. He hovered by the doors until he spotted Carlos out on the dance floor. When he did, a giant smile crossed his face. Seb slowly walked across the gym. I watched Carlos as he saw him. If Carlos had been mad that Seb was late, it didn’t seem to matter anymore. They locked eyes, and Seb went over to talk to him on the dance floor. When a slow song started to play, they danced together.
The dance floor was filled with couples slow-dancing. I sighed and crumpled up a napkin and threw it across the table.
Well, at least someone was having a good night at East High’s homecoming dance.
As I left the girls’ bathroom, I thought there must be a YouTube video of homecoming dance disasters. If there was, this night would definitely make the cut. I watched a lot of YouTube, and it was a great source for lots of entertainment and information. When I first started checking it out, YouTube showed me how to make dinners for my mom and me. My mom worked long hours and was never home to cook dinner. My favorite chef on YouTube was Chef Sam. On her show, she demonstrated how to prepare easy meals with her simple recipes. She even posted shopping lists at the ends of the videos.
The first dinner I made was chicken cacciatore. I got the ingredients and followed all Chef Sam’s directions. I had to watch the video a couple of times, but I got it and had the sauce simmering in about an hour. The whole house smelled amazing.
My next YouTube obsession was knitting for beginners. One of my mom’s coworkers got her a basket of yarn and needles as a going-away present. When I searched for knitting instructions on YouTube, a long list popped up. There was something about Granny Jeanie that made me click on her video. She was an older woman who used hot-pink needles and electric-blue yarn in her knitting tutorial. Maybe it was her Southern accent or just her mellow attitude, but I found her very comforting. In about fifteen minutes, I was on my way to knitting my first hat.
I know this sounds weird, but Chef Sam and Granny Jeanie were always there for me when I got home from school. No matter what town we moved to, I could count on them. Instead of being in a quiet house by myself, I had Chef Sam and Granny Jeanie.
Sometimes Chef Sam had her boyfriend hang out with her for the cooking demo, or a couple of friends would drop by. There always seemed to be a party in her kitchen. I imagined one day I would have a boyfriend who would come over and cook with me. Maybe we could even star together in a YouTube video—or a school play.
After joining several school musical productions, I’d learned that having a place to go after school and being part of a cast helped me feel less like a loner at a new school. When the end-of-day bell rang, I felt good about going to the auditorium. At rehearsal, I fit in and I had a place to be.
A month before we moved to Salt Lake City, I made my mom sizzling fajitas for dinner. Chef Sam walked me through the whole prep and cooking.
“What is for dinner tomorrow?” my mom asked as she finished her last bite. “This was fantastic!”
“I was going to try a Cantonese tofu dish,” I told her. “I found this YouTube video on Chinese cooking. I’m making my way through all the cuisines.”
“Sounds good to me,” my mom said.
“And there is this ice cream dessert with a chocolate shell,” I said. I showed her the photo on my phone. “I am going to make this, too.”
“Just don’t let cooking get in the way of your studies or rehearsals, okay?” she said. Her phone rang and I could tell from her expression the call was from her office. She got up, kissed the top of my head, and took the call in the living room.
I looked around our house. I wondered what Chef Sam and her boyfriend and their friends were up to. I sighed and carried the dirty dishes into the kitchen.
When my mom came back into the room, I knew from the look on her face that we were going to move again. I would be going to yet another new school in the fall. I was starting to keep the boxes under my bed and not bother unpacking everything.
“My next assignment is in Salt Lake City,” my mom said. “But we’ll move over the summer so you can start school in the fall.”
“Great,” I said, my voice laced with sarcasm.
“I’m sorry,” my mom said. She walked over to me and gave me a hug. “I know this is hard for you.”
I nodded. I knew my mom loved her job and that it required her to move often. The work she was doing was important. I was proud of what she did to help people in need. I just wished she understood it was also important to me that I wasn’t a weird transfer student every year of high school.
After we cleaned up the kitchen, I went into my room. I took The Big Book of Broadway off my shelf. My mom had gotten me the book for my birthday the previous year, and it was my favorite gift of all time. There were written instructions for iconic dance numbers, tons of photographs from Broadway productions, and advice for aspiring performers. Like on page 374, the book suggested that you should learn the most difficult dance from a production first. That summer, I watched my favorite musicals and studied all the steps to the hardest dance numbers. I vowed that I would work on those dances until I had them mastered.
Concentrating on the dance steps didn’t take my mind off the upcoming move to Salt Lake City. I kept wondering if I would fit in at the new school. Would I make some new friends to count on? I planned to find out about the school’s theater department and to audition for the fall musical. That would be a great way to meet people. Maybe I’d even get to go to a school dance with a real date.
Little did I know then that I would be cast in the fall production, but as the understudy, and I’d get to go to my first dance, but then I’d throw punch on my date in the middle of homecoming. If that wasn’t enough to make it into a YouTube compilation of school dance fails, I wasn’t sure what was. This night was definitely worthy of a dating disaster episode.
I wondered if anyone had recorded that punch dunk on E.J.’s head. I shook my head. I didn’t want to know if that moment had been captured on film. I looked over my shoulder at the gym doors and bolted down the dark hallway.
Ashlyn left the dance floor after “Born to Be Brave” ended and sat down next to me at table ten. “You should have danced with us,” she said.
I shrugged.
“Not really in the mood,” I told her.
“Dancing helps,” she said.
For some reason, Ashlyn was always so positive. I wasn’t sure how she did that, but at that moment I was really glad she was sitting with me.
I was also thankful that Ashlyn wasn’t recounting all the ways that I had messed up the night.
“Not exactly the homecoming dance I was hoping for,” I said.
“I can see that,” she said. She looked around and nodded to the empty chair next to me. “I guess Gina left?”
“Yep,” I said. “She blew out of the gym after she dumped the punch on me.”
Ashlyn smiled. “That was unexpected. What did you say to her?”
“Nothing,” I said. I could feel Ashlyn eyeing me. “Honestly, she just flipped out.”
“She just flipped out?” she asked.
“Yeah,” I said. “I don’t think she had a real plan.”
“A plan?” Ashlyn asked. “Really, E.J.? Was coming to the dance with Gina some sort of plan to get Nini back?”
When Ashlyn said it that way, I had to laugh to cover up my reaction. “Um, no,” I said. “The plan was more elaborate…I think.”
“You have to stop with these schemes,” she said. “Taking Nini’s phone, bringing Gina to the dance…” She stopped. “This is not the way to win back Nini, E.J.”
I knew she was right. This wasn’t the right way to win back someone like Nini. She was too good for that. The thing was I knew Nini and Gina weren’t exactly friends. When Nini first saw Gina at rehearsal, her high kicks and strong voice made Nini freak out a little bit. Even though Gina was cast as her understudy, Nini still seemed a little threatened by her. And maybe, I thought, she would be so unhappy that Gina and I went to the dance together that she might reconsider her feelings for me.
That day when Nini had shown up in the library and told me she had taken Gina’s shoes, I was surprised. That didn’t sound like Nini. She told me she was trying to play to win, like me. She was trying to make me proud.
“Stealing just seems a little low,” I told her, feeling really bad that I had somehow encouraged this behavior. “You’re better than that. You’re Nini.”
“Maybe you’re right,” she said. “I do like that you see me that way.”
“I always have,” I told her.
“You’re a good person,” she said. “I don’t know if it’s because you’re a senior or because somebody raised you right, but I wish I had whatever you’ve got inside of you. It’s like confidence mixed with morals, and about a dozen abs. Thanks for being you.”
I wanted to be who Nini thought I was back then.
“Any more luck with an apology song?” Ashlyn asked.
I shook my head. When I’d tried to write a song for Nini to say I was sorry for stealing her phone, and giving Emily a spoiled deviled egg so Nini could go on as the lead in our summer camp production of The Music Man, and so many other things, I just couldn’t come up with what to say. Ashlyn always found just the right words for her songs, and I hoped that she would help me write a song that would win Nini back. She did help me with the melody, but she wanted me to come up with the heartfelt lyrics. I soon found out that writing a song was harder than I expected. I tried a whole dance routine to go along with my song, but Ashlyn was quick to point out that I couldn’t charm my way out of the situation. She told me to dig deeper.
“I don’t think songwriting is my thing,” I said, shaking my head.
I was hurting and I wanted my girlfriend back. But I guess that wasn’t enough to help me come up with a showstopper love song that worked. I was starting to feel insecure, and I didn’t like that feeling. I liked being the confident, popular senior, not some pathetic lovesick loser.
I looked up and saw Carlos and Seb dancing at the center of the dance floor. “Glad Seb showed up for Carlos,” I said.
“Yes,” Ashlyn said. “That was a good thing tonight.” She smiled. “You want to hang out after the dance? There is some cake left over from my mom’s birthday yesterday.”
“Nah,” I said. “I’m gonna have to answer a million questions about the dance at my own house. I don’t need my aunt and uncle asking me, too.”
Ashlyn laughed. “You’re right,” she said. She put her hand on my arm. “Don’t worry, E.J., things will work out.”
“Yeah,” I said. “I guess.”
“I know,” Ashlyn said, smiling. “You worry so much.”
“Yeah,” I said.
A few bars of a song started and Ashlyn stood up. “Come on!” she said. “I love this song!”
I waved her off. I was not in a dancing mood.
“Go,” I told her. “Go have fun.”
She shrugged and headed out to the dance floor with the other theater kids. Even though Ashlyn didn’t agree with the way I did things, I knew she had my back and would always be there for me.
I watched her and the others dance. They were all laughing and singing together. I didn’t join them on the dance floor. I just continued to sit at the table. Going to homecoming with Gina had been a huge mistake.
I was in the same situation as before the dance—without Nini.
I fumbled through my bag for my coat check ticket in front of the table outside the gym. The music was loud and the hallway was dark. When I finally found my ticket, I realized I didn’t have money for a tip. Just perfect. Maybe I could Venmo them?
And then Ricky came rushing up to me. I wasn’t sure what else he had left to say to me. He had already knocked me down enough that night.
He started apologizing—or at least his version of apologizing. He even said if I forgave him, he’d give me a ride home. The faster I got away from East High, the better, so I decided to let him off the hook. Maybe he was the cool guy I thought he was at the skate park?
As we were talking in the car on the drive home, I realized how much Ricky and I had in common. He had his own troubles. He confided in me about his parents splitting up. As I listened to him, I totally got how hurt and confused he was about the changing dynamic of his family. Having moved so many times, I understood how unsettling change could be.
We sat in my driveway talking until my mom flashed the front porch light on and off. I guess that was her way of telling me it was time to come inside. As I got out of the car, I gave Ricky a kiss on the cheek. “I meant what I said about you having your own style,” I told him. I had said that to him at the skate park. I believed that about him, and I hoped he had heard me.
When I reached my front door, I turned and waved to Ricky in his car. He had watched me walk to the front door to make sure I got in safely. I paused and then slipped into the house.
I had believed that coming to Salt Lake City was going to be different for me. I had thought East High was a place I would fit in and make friends.
I thought about when I first logged on to the East High website. “You know that is the high school where High School Musical was filmed,” I’d told my mom.
She had jumped off the couch and started to sing…and dance. “We’re all in this together,” she sang. “And it shows, when we stand, hand in hand…”
“Oh, please don’t sing,” I said. I eyed her dance moves. “Or dance!”
She didn’t listen.
“Make our dreams come true!” my mom continued, very off-key. She raised her hands above her head in an awkward interpretation of the iconic dance.
I had to laugh. As upset as I was, it was hard to stay mad at her. “You actually remember those dance moves?” I asked.
“We only watched that movie a thousand times,” she said with a laugh. She clapped and moved around the living room. Then she stood in front of me and held out her hand. She pulled me up off the couch. “I am sorry, Gina,” she said. She hugged me tight. “I am sorry we have to move again, but I have a good feeling about Salt Lake City—and this school.”
“Well, that is one of us,” I said.
“Come on, let’s watch High School Musical,” she b
egged. “You always loved watching that movie.”
“When I was little,” I said, rolling my eyes. “And not when I thought that I would be moving to Salt Lake City and going to East High.”
“Come on,” she begged.
“Fine,” I replied. “But only the first one!”
I didn’t want to admit that I loved watching the movie with my mom. We took out three pints of ice cream and a bag of chocolate chips on the side. We snuggled under a blanket I’d made using Granny Jeanie’s instructions and supersoft blue yarn. Passing the ice cream back and forth, we couldn’t help singing along. The familiar songs and Gabriella and Troy’s romance were enough to distract me.
“Thanks, Mom,” I said when the movie was over.
“Gabriella was a new girl, too,” my mom said, pulling me closer. “Look how nicely going to East High worked out for her.”
I laughed. “Yeah, I guess,” I said. I reached for the mocha chip. “Just when I get used to one change, something changes again.”
My mom kissed my forehead. “You are a star, Gina. You are going to shine.”
I really wanted to believe her.
I got into bed that night with my laptop. I went to the East High website again. I scrolled through the smiling students and found a list of after-school clubs. They did have a theater department and, from what I could tell, a pretty decent stage. They had put on Gypsy, which wasn’t my favorite show, but a classic. And also Brigadoon. I was starting to have a good feeling about this school. Starting as a sophomore transfer student wasn’t ideal, but at least there was a fall musical scheduled. I was hoping for a show with a good romance. I would love to sing a ballad with some gorgeous leading guy. If I could be part of a show, I would have a place to go after school and meet new people. If I had learned anything from all my moves, it was that having somewhere to belong was the way to survive and maybe even fit in.