by Lauren Wood
“Yeah let’s get out of here. We have some work to do back at the house that needs to get done.”
Scott was happy to hear that and he insisted that he sit in the middle in the truck. I ignored his sister to make him think it was all a fluke and he finally started to relax. The last thing I wanted to do was to fight with Scott. We’d never fought in all of these years and it wasn’t going to start now. I knew better.
The ride back I was silent and listened to the two siblings talk. The first bit was about their dad and how he was doing. Scott worried that there was something wrong and their mom had called her back to be there, but she assured him that it wasn’t the case.
“No, I just had to get out of there for a little while. My grades are good enough that I didn’t have to stay the last two weeks, so I left. I just wanted to get back home and I don’t know, chill I guess. It doesn’t have anything to do with dad.”
Scott seemed relieved and I was relieved as well. The man was a good role model to me and I knew that I needed to visit more. I owed it to Ted, but when I saw him how he was now, I didn’t know what to say and I froze. I told myself that it was worst to do that.
“So what happened?”
She didn’t want to talk about it, but Scott kept pushing the subject and made her.
“I broke up with my boyfriend and it got messy. I don’t want to talk about it Scott.”
“Was that the professor you’ve been dating?”
I snuck a look over at her and our eyes met for a moment. She didn’t want me to know about that, but I had to wonder why I’d never heard it before. Most likely I had heard Scott railing on about her, but I hadn’t cared. I was feeling so damn foolish now for not caring. Look at her. What an idiot I was back then to have been so aloof with her. I’d made her cry and now I was the one regretting it more than ever.
“Yes, it was him.”
She bit out the words and I just focused on the road like I wasn’t even there to hear it all.
“Well I told you that you shouldn’t be with some old guy. He’s almost as old as me and Carl. You’re too young for guys our age.”
I didn’t have to look at Scott to know that he’d said it like that for a reason. He had seen me checking his sister out and he wanted to make sure that I knew it wasn’t okay to do so. He was putting his foot down, drawing the line in the sand and it was as transparent as if he had actually done either one literally.
“You’re right. I don’t know what I was thinking. I’ve learned my lesson on older guys Scott.”
Chapter 4
Melanie
I could have hit my brother. I really could have. I don’t know what he was thinking bringing all that up in front of Carl. He didn’t know what the big deal was, but I couldn’t believe that he had said those things about Dustin. I didn’t want Carl to know that I was dating a professor. He’d told me long ago that I should date people my own age. I never had.
My face was red and I just look out the window at the ever changing countryside and I was happy to be back where everything was familiar. This was the same scene that I’d run past many times before and it was unsettling now to see some of the changes taking place since my last visit.
“Did they sell the market?”
“Yeah, it’s going to be one of those chain supermarkets soon. They finally sold out.”
“I’m going to miss that place. I remember working there every summer when I was in boarding school. It was a really nice place to go, so different than everything else. Never did find another place when I was in San Diego that was anywhere near like it.”
It was usually all local vendors and lots of them that would gather together every weekend and sell locally made goods. It was a great time for me and I hated to see the sales sign on the front that told the world that it was sold. Every time I came home, something else had changed and I still didn’t like it.
“Do you know what Lily is going to do?”
“I don’t know. I think she is going to retire. She talked about getting the old Johnson Mill and trying to make something of it, but I don’t think she is going to, not if there is more competition coming in that she can’t compete with.”
It was sad to hear the old woman was calling it a day. I promised myself that I was going to go and see her while I was here. She was always so nice and I’d really enjoyed working for her. I’d learned a lot of new things from Lily.
The house came into view and a feeling of anxiety and happiness came over me. This place will always be my home, but everything was so unclear. Coming home was always a mix of emotions and seeing Carl right off the bat, if at all was not something I’d prepared myself for. I’d embarrassed myself with him, but I’d learned from my mistakes and I told myself that I was never going to do that again.
I grabbed my bag and was out of the truck before anyone could say anything else. Mom was on the porch waiting for me, always somehow knowing when I was home. She hugged me and I don’t know why, but it was times like this when a girl needed her mother. A bad break up was one of those occasions and this one had been a doozy.
I looked back to see Carl watching me with a new interest and curiosity in his eyes and my brother looking at his friend differently as well. I hadn’t expected my time at home to be so eventful.
Focusing my attention on mom, I went inside and smelled the familiar smells of the house I’d grew up in as a child. It always did take me back to a different time. Everything was so much easier back then and it was hard for me to believe it. I knew that I wanted to be back at home. This was where I was supposed to be.
***
“So tell me what happened, Melanie? I know that you were together for a while.”
I hadn’t wanted to tell her, but mom had a way about her and I wanted to tell someone. I was dying to really and it was impossible for me to think of anything else to say but the truth.
“He cheated on me and made a fool out of me basically.”
It was all I could get out before I started crying a little bit. It was the truth and now that it was said out loud, it made me feel even worse. All of the time that I’d tried to keep it in the last week was killing me. Everyone on campus knew about it because Dustin hadn’t seemed to care that he was humiliating me.
“Come now, Melanie. It can’t be as bad as you have made it out to be in your head.”
It was and when I started to tell her who he cheated on me with, she could see why I was so upset.
“Amber?”
I shook my head and I angrily pushed the tear from my eye. “Yea, Amber.”
“But you’ve been friends for…”
I agreed because I knew what she was going to say. We’d been friends, best friends since boarding school and my parents had met her several times. We were so close that she’d stayed the second and third year all summer with me because her own family was on shaky grounds. I’d tried everything to fully understand what happened, but I still couldn’t wrap my head around it. I would have never thought that Amber would do something like that to me, but she had. He had too.
It was the betrayal and public humiliation of it all that really bothered me. It still did and I guess that’s why I was back home, licking my wounds before I emerged once more to start again. Right now I didn’t want to even try getting over it. I wanted to feel bad that two people I loved had hurt me so much.
“I know. I don’t know what happened. Maybe they are in love and maybe the love that me and Dustin had was never real. I don’t know and it hurts to think about it sometimes.”
“You know that you’re perfect Melanie and it’s not you.”
I liked to think that it was true, but I really wasn’t sure. What I was sure of was the fact that I didn’t want to talk about it anymore. I was tired of feeling so bad about it all and I just wanted to forget it all. Dustin and Amber could have each other and I tried to reason that it was better that I found out this way, but that was a hard feeling to actually have.
“I think I’m
going to go over to Lily’s later, see how she is doing. I passed the market and I can’t believe she sold it.”
Mom was sidetracked with her own thoughts. “Yeah, things have been changing around here. Make sure you see your father before you go. I told him you were coming and he’s been up for a while waiting for you.”
“Okay, but don’t say anything about Dustin please. I don’t want him to think that anything is wrong. I hate when he worries. He needs to spend all of his energy on getting well.”
She smiled in a sad way and agreed. “I won’t say a word. I don’t think he liked Dustin when he met him on campus anyways.”
Chapter 5
Carl
We had work to get done, so instead of talking, Scott and I just got started without saying much of anything to each other. I was lost in my own head at the moment anyways. I was glad he wanted some quiet because that meant I didn’t have to field any questions and I had a feeling I knew what it was going to be about. The fact of the matter was that I was staring at his sister. He had to know she was hot or at least that other people thought that. I mean, look at her. I couldn’t get over how much she had changed and I used the quiet to think about it more than I should have.
“So when are you two going to take the next step?”
My mind went to Melanie and I was guilty because of what I was thinking about. Had he read my thoughts? Did he know that I was wondering what his sister would feel like in my arms, underneath me?
“What?”
“You and Bianca.”
Oh. That made more sense. I’m really glad I didn’t say anything like an idiot. He would really never forgive me. I knew how Scott was and he would never be okay with me and Melanie. Not the way that I was with women and not with Melanie.
“Oh, well, you know. I don’t think there is another step to take with her. We’re just having fun and I think that’s all that it is going to be.”
“I don’t think she thinks that way. I’ve heard her talking to Betty.”
Betty was Scott’s on again, off again girlfriend that I didn’t care for because she messed his mind up every chance she got. But she was good friends with Bianca, so I had to believe that there was some truth to it. I didn’t know how much, but I knew that Bianca had been not-too-subtly mentioning marriage and how all of her friends were getting married and she was ready to do the same. I pretended not to hear those conversations.
“I have no intentions of settling down and getting married. Not with Bianca or anyone else. You know that it’s not how I am.”
“I know. Just checking because Betty says that Bianca plans on doing that very thing. She wants to stick you with that ball and chain. They get you with the head.”
I didn’t answer him for a time, but Bianca had been a lot more sexual lately. Maybe there was truth to that.
Silence fell over us while we resealed the driveway and added a couple of post to the front of the driveway. I was tired and didn’t feel like working today, but I wanted to help out as much as possible.
“So why were you looking at my sister like that?”
It was the question that I had worried about getting and I was still just as clueless how to answer as I had been I was running the scenario in my head. There was no real right answer without lying my ass off.
“What are you talking about? Is that why you’ve been mean mugging me this whole time since we got back from the airport?”
“You know what I’m talking about Carl. Don’t play dumb. We’ve been friends for a long time, so let’s not play games. I’m only going to say it one time; my sister is off limits to you. Hell, if I had it my way she would be off limits to everyone. I know that she had a thing for you a long time ago and you shooed her off. You need to do the same thing again if she comes to you the same way.”
I was stunned for several reasons. I wasn’t sure what to say. He wasn’t supposed to know that I shooed his sister away. I don’t know how he knew that, but it made me feel funnier about it now. I felt bad because I’d done it and now she was hot. I didn’t want to fight with Scott, though what he said was true. I also wondered why he was so certain that I wanted her. Had I really been that transparent? Because in reality I was more shocked than anything else when I first saw her and the way she looked now. How was I to know that she was going to look like that? It had come out of nowhere.
“You got it all wrong.”
“Why didn’t you tell me about her coming on to you?”
“She was a kid and it was just some little crush. I didn’t even think it was a big deal and I hadn’t thought about that in years.”
“Well she’s not a kid anymore, but she’s still off limits.”
“I got it.”
“Good.”
He was still looking a little pissed off and I was just going to let him stew. If I was too adamant, then he would know something was up, but it was hard to keep my cool in such a situation.
We went back to laying and spreading the sealant down. Talking was not so good with the strong stench being tasted, but I knew that it was better this way as well. I would be able to keep my mouth shut, which is what I needed to do. I agreed because he was right. She was off limits and I knew better.
After the driveway was done, I was invited in for dinner, but I declined. I didn’t want a look to be thought of another way and if I was around the redheaded bombshell I would have looked. She was hard not to look at and I didn’t trust myself. I knew better.
I drove back to my place and ignored the phone when I saw that Bianca was calling. This morning I had been praising her technique and how much I liked being with her, but now I wasn’t in the mood. That was a miracle in and of itself and it made me wonder why that was. Why was everything in life a little less grey now? It didn’t make any sense.
Chapter 6
Melanie
Scott was acting weird at dinner and he had this strange look on his face when Carl declined the invitation to eat there with us. I don’t know why he kept looking at me like that, but I finally asked him what his deal was when we were outside on the porch after dessert. Mom had gone all out because I was home and she made pineapple upside down cake.
“What’s going on with you Scott? You’ve been acting strange all through dinner.”
“It’s just good to see you back.”
“You don’t act like you’re too glad about it.”
“I am. You know that, but it’s just kind of crazy around here right now. I know that dad’s happy to see you. He’s wanted you to come back for a while.”
He was bringing up dad and it side tracked me for a while because I wanted to know what mom wouldn’t tell me. She sugar coated everything and it was easier to get the whole truth from Scott. He was blunter and it was easier for me to process when I knew what was really going on.
“He doesn’t have much longer. This chemo round is going to be the end of him. He told me the other day that he isn’t going to be here much longer. That’s why I thought mom had called you home. I’m really glad you’re here. I thought something had happened that I didn’t know about. You know how they like to keep us in the dark to make it easier on us, but it’s not easier.”
I was stunned with his admission and emotions. I hugged him for a minute before I pulled away and wiped a tear from the corner of my eye. This is what I didn’t know. I knew that it was worse when I saw him earlier, but I hadn’t thought it was this bad. I still thought there was hope for dad.
“I think I’m going to go for a drive Scott. Go up to the farmhouse and think. You want to come?”
I wanted to be alone, but for a moment it looked like he needed some company.
“No, I got a date, but later. I want to get dressed, but we will catch up tomorrow. If I bail on Betty now, she will never forgive me.”
“Knowing Betty, she will forgive you over and over again. How many times have you broken up?”
“A lot, but she just gets mad. She always comes back to me; she just wants to make m
e miss her first.”
“Does it work?”
He grinned and told me that it did every time. I never had understood their relationship, but it was clear that Scott had some kind of feelings for her. She was good for him as far as I was concerned. He needed Betty in his life to level him out.
I watched him go in and I stared out into the night sky for a long time. The stars were brighter here because there was no competition from all of the other lights from the city. Out here, I could see every single one of them and it was nice to be able to look back and know that the stars and view were always the same every time I came home. At least some things didn’t change.
I got in my dad’s car and made my way off the hill and the gravel road that was impossible to drive fast down. I was in my dad’s old car and I was trying to get used to the wider frame of it. I was used to a much smaller car and it felt like a boat, floating over the road and it was more difficult to steer because of it. It’d been a while since I’d drove the town car.
I had said that I was going to go out to the farmhouse, a place that everyone in town used to go to party and get away from the adults. I didn’t want to go there though. I wanted a drink, even though I had a couple of months before I was supposed to be able to drink.
Pointing dad’s car towards the small little bar in town, I made sure that I was at least on the road with the huge thing and made my way over there. It’d been a while since I’d been in there, but the interior was the same as I remembered. It was a welcome sight in a night that I wasn’t sure how I felt about everything. A trip home always came with all of these extra emotions that had to be dealt with.