Sordid

by Nikki Sloane

  “To cut my dick with your teeth?” He wound the end of the belt around his fist, pulling it taut.

  I yelped and shook my head quickly. “No.” I was so fucking stupid, I deserved his wrath. “I meant the belt.”

  A shock visibly went up his spine and his expression emptied of anger. It went blank. He bent at the waist, grasped my cheeks between his fingers, squeezing my mouth together, and brought his nose right to mine. “You wanted to know what my belt felt like choking you out?”

  Coming up with an answer was the scariest thing I’d ever faced. He’d said no lies, but confirming was like telling Luka I was okay with . . . anything.

  “Yes,” I whispered.

  He blinked, possibly evaluating me for deception. “Why?”

  “I don’t know.” It was the most honest response I had.

  When he released his grip on my face, he straightened and looked down his straight nose at me. The corner of his mouth lifted in his evil half-smile, and he shook his head, pleased surprise lighting his eyes. “You’re so fucking perfect. It’s like you exist only for me.”

  I couldn’t wrap my head around the idea.

  He let go of the belt and the end dropped down between my breasts, and it hung loosely around my neck. It was so he could grab the bottom hem of his t-shirt and peel it up, revealing his chest. I watch with awe as he cast the shirt aside, and then pushed down the sides of his jeans and underwear.

  Now he was more naked than I was. My gaze slid over his hips, up the subtle notches of his abdominals, and to the smooth, perfectly-shaped pecs. Luka wasn’t overinflated muscle. He was long and lean. Toned arms gave way to broad shoulders. He was in great physical shape, and the basic woman in me couldn’t help but appreciate his look.

  There wasn’t time for appreciation. He snatched up the belt and yanked the loop closed, while his other hand fisted my hair and jerked my head back.

  “I control every part of you. Repeat it.”

  I was trembling in my core. Instinctively I wanted to fight against him, but I also wanted to please. I wanted to succeed. I stumbled over the words. “You control every part of me.”

  He released my hair, wrapped his hand at the base of his dick, and yanked me forward with the belt. I barely had time to open my lips before he shoved himself deep inside. I opened my jaw wide to accommodate him, and allowed him to saw his dick in and out of my mouth in long, unhurried strokes.

  Luka abruptly pulled out, holding himself less than an inch from my lips as if teasing me. Like he was keeping what I desperately wanted just out of my reach. “Again,” he barked, ordering me to repeat it.

  This time I had more confidence. “You control every part of me.”

  “Do you understand what you’re saying? Let’s make sure.”

  Again, the hard tip of his cock pushed past the seam of my lips and intruded. Only this time, he didn’t stop when I began to back away, signaling I couldn’t take him any deeper. The hand he used to hold himself steady moved. It went to the back of my head and pushed.

  I gagged loudly, and my palms flew to his knees, trying to push off, but the belt and his large hand wouldn’t allow it. My fingers spread out in discomfort as I fought the urge to gag again. The tip of his dick was down the back of my throat and I groaned against the unpleasant sensation. The belt was so tight, I could barely breathe, and my face felt hot and stiff.

  I choked on him, fighting for air and fighting against him.

  “I control everything,” he said darkly, hunching over as he forced himself further in. “Even when you get to breathe.”

  The belt went slack as he let go, and then he pinched my nose shut with his thumb against the side of his hand, cutting off my air supply completely.

  Chapter

  Eleven

  Luka left me with no choice but try to take him all the way in. Logic was shoved aside by panic, which was willing to try anything to find air. My terrified sound was muffled under his flesh, and I dug my nails into the meaty parts of his thighs, scrambling to earn his release. My eyes teared up in a physical reaction.

  There was certainly no doubt in my mind who was in control.

  It lasted only a few seconds and a lifetime before Luka stepped back. I fell forward onto my hands, gasping and choking in air as I stared at the carpet. I shook with both fear and adrenaline, and everything was buzzing as oxygen poured into my lungs. I’d never felt more alive.

  “Look at me,” he ordered.

  I snapped my head up and found him waiting for me with a strange emotion like concern edging his eyes. It was fleeting, and gone so fast I might have imagined it. We locked gazes in a wordless conversation, at least, it felt like it. He wanted to make sure I could handle what had just happened, which was so different than the aftermath of the bathtub. This was a check-in. A visual evaluation, and it looked like I’d passed.

  “Get over here and suck my cock.”

  He controlled every part of me, so I followed him without hesitation. It was stunning how quickly I’d surrendered, and how exciting this new feeling was. Giving my trust and control over to this beautiful monster was so very wrong, but . . . shit, I liked it. He quirked his mouth in a smile as I crawled to him and sat back on my heels, readying to complete my task.

  He undid the belt from my neck and dumped it to the floor, which announced there was some sort of trust between us. I told myself I was happy about it because it meant I was a step closer to escape, and for no other reason.

  Luka’s commands made it easy. I went faster when he ordered me to. I used my hands, and increased my grip as he instructed. I flicked my tongue on the sensitive underside where I knew there were the most nerve endings. When he groaned in satisfaction, pleasure washed over me as well.

  “I tried to find you once,” he whispered. “Right after finals, but I was looking in the wrong place.” I paused as I considered his words, but his voice went severe. “Did I tell you to slow down?”

  I resumed my steady pace. He’d looked for me? Why did that make me feel warm? He’d told me he wasn’t a nice guy, I reminded myself, and had proven it more than once. I should have been glad he hadn’t found me when I was younger. I’d grown up a lot in the last two years, and although I wasn’t tough, I was stronger now.

  “You were the smartest one in the class,” he said. “So I assumed you were a math major, but no one knew you.”

  Of course they didn’t. I didn’t make many new friends my sophomore year, and definitely not in my math classes. I wanted to ask why he hadn’t tried harder to find me. Luka’s personality was all type A. He wouldn’t give up easily if he wanted something. But he’d also changed since I’d seen him last, and I wondered if whatever had happened to him might have occurred at that time.

  “I would have asked you out, and when I found out you were a virgin, I’d have taken you back to your dorm and fucked your smart brains out.”

  My heart skipped at a hurried tempo. This was my fantasy, only in it he’d been patient and sweet. He’d been safe and comfortable and . . . maybe a little boring. I thought I wanted safe and comfortable, but what if I needed this aggressive, dominating version more?

  His rapid, uneven breaths told me he was close, and I was anxious to see his release, this time with me being a willing participant. I tightened my grip, twisting it down his length as I slid my mouth up and down on him.

  It rolled from his lips, loaded with sin. “You look so goddamn good like this. I’m gonna come in your innocent, little mouth. Would you like that? Huh?” He guided me to bob on him faster. “If I filled you up with my hot cum?”

  His obscene words riled, but thrilled. I had no self-restraint. Like a kid who suddenly discovered a room full of toys, I wanted to play with everything, all at once. Now that I had dipped my toe into the dirty pond, I jumped in and was eager to get filthy.

  Luka’s chest was heaving. He’d stared at me last night as he’d gone down on me, so I forced myself to do the same in return. His expression was intense and p
rimal. He looked like a man on the edge of madness.

  The muscles along his frame hardened. A growl ripped from his chest and he burst on my tongue. Hot, thick liquid pooled in my mouth in spurts, and from above, he rained down filthy words that were moaned as compliments.

  He was still pulsing as the movement of his hips slowed.

  “Swallow,” he said breathlessly, still recovering.

  I did, and as I sat back, I wiped a finger over my damp lips. Did he notice my hand was trembling? I was sure he did. It felt like he saw everything. Yet he said nothing as he bent and tugged his pants and boxers up. He did the zipper, but not the button, and didn’t reach for the belt or his shirt. Instead he reached for me.

  I stared at his offered hand, spinning. Given what I’d just done, this was nothing. So why did it feel like it was everything? As if I were crossing a threshold with him? Taking his hand was another huge step as we tried to forge trust. I slipped my hand into his, and although he didn’t smile, I knew he was pleased.

  He didn’t speak as he helped me to my feet. When I was beside him, his hand on mine shifted. His long fingers curled around my wrist so he could lead me along toward the bathroom. He could have easily held my hand with our fingers linked together, but no. This wasn’t a partnership, and we weren’t equal. This was just another way for Luka to exert his control.

  He scooped up the duffel bag, and once we were in the bathroom with the door shut, he set it on the counter and unloaded the contents. I shouldn’t have been surprised, but it was surreal to see my things in his hands. My makeup bag. My shower caddy. My birth control pills.

  I gripped the edges of my shirt and wrapped them around myself, crossing my arms over my chest. I was still shaky from the intense scene that had played out, and now I was cold and awkward. He turned the dial on my birth control pack and punched out the pill for today, then handed it to me. My fingers trembled as I took it from him, popped it in my mouth, and dry-swallowed.

  Satisfied, he put a hand on my arm and guided me deeper into the room, herding me to the glass door of the shower.

  He opened it, turned on the water, and then set his dark gaze on me. It was clear what he wanted. I let out a shuddering breath and peeled the shirt down my arms, dropping it to the tile. The silence from him was stifling, and I ached for him to say something.

  But he said nothing.

  Instead he turned me and pressed my back to the cold glass, which made me inhale sharply. He leaned over, setting his forearm on the glass over my head, and his other hand slipped down the front of my panties.

  My lips parted so I could pull in air. His touch had purpose. His fingers closed around the vibrator still lodged in me, and slowly pulled it out. It was tossed into the nearby sink.

  The glass at my back was beginning to warm with the heat of the shower, and I felt feverish as Luka set a hand delicately on my cheek. At first I thought he was going to kiss me, but his gaze wasn’t on mine, or on my mouth. His thumb brushed my cheekbone. It took me a second to place what he was doing. He was evaluating me for injury from the belt. Broken capillaries, or bloodshot eyes, or signs of ligature.

  My voice was quiet. “Did you leave any marks?”

  “No.” His gaze clicked with mine and my knees wanted to buckle under the weight of it. “Did you want me to?”

  I pressed my lips together and shook my head.

  Stubble darkened Luka’s jaw and I studied it up close. He looked sculpted. Flawless skin covering high cheekbones and a strong jawline. And, God, his mouth was sexy with its cruel, wicked lips. He must have noticed what I was looking at, because he gave me a hint of a closed mouth smile.

  His fingers dipped below the waistband of my panties again, and his kiss swallowed my gasp. My skin seared from his touch, and burned as his hard body pressed against mine. I didn’t know if I was allowed to touch him without permission. He’d always had me pinned down, or had ordered me to put my hands behind my back. So I risked it. I set my palm flat on his chest, over his heart, and noticed its steady beat. Even his heartbeat was controlled.

  But his skin was on fire like mine. Luka’s tongue filled my mouth as the pads of his fingers swept and stirred, and I moaned softly.

  Had I cracked an invisible whip? Luka sank to his knees and tugged my underwear down my legs, pulling one foot free and then the other.

  “Wider,” he ordered, pushing on my knee and getting me to stand with my feet wide on the bathmat.

  “Mmmm,” I whimpered, strangling back the full moan. He’d planted a kiss right on my most sensitive spot. His forceful hands trapped my hips and held me still, and then he got to work.

  Holy shit. I slid six inches down on the door, my skin squealing on the glass, as heat blasted up my legs. His soft, wet tongue made me squirm and left me dizzy with confusion. Once again, I wasn’t supposed to want pleasure from him. I should be clawing his eyes out, not holding back moans and running my fingers through his soft, thick hair.

  “I like that I’m not tasting anyone else’s cock right now. This pussy is all for me. Only for me.”

  My eyes slammed shut and I tipped my head back, panting though my open lips. Emotions and sensations battled for attention. Luka’s hands were braced on my waist, and they were the only thing keeping me upright. My trembling legs were made of jelly.

  He paused only for a moment. “Repeat it.”

  “This . . .” The word was dirty, and I faltered for a moment. “This pussy is only for you.”

  Saying it out loud catapulted me right to the edge. Everything was tingling and my heart raced. Need clawed inside, threatening to tear me to shreds.

  “Oh, God. Oh, God . . .” I pulled at his hair, overwhelmed as the orgasm bore down.

  Luka sucked at my clit, and his fingers dug in, denting the skin on my hips, which triggered my release. The climax was intense. I opened my mouth to cry out, but the pleasure stole the sound from my voice. I arched my back, my body possessed, and then I slammed back into the glass with a loud bang.

  I groaned as the last wave passed, and reality came back into focus.

  He wasn’t kneeling anymore. Luka stood over me, watching every breath I took intently. There was no outward reaction. His eyebrow didn’t hint at displeasure, and his mouth didn’t lift into a soft smile, but I sensed his satisfaction. He’d enjoyed making me come.

  It wasn’t a reward for what we’d done in the bedroom, I was fairly sure. This had been about power. He was ensuring I was still under his spell.

  “If I let go of you,” he said, “will you fall? Your legs are shaking pretty bad.” He didn’t use a patronizing tone, but the edge lingered and was further proof of how much he liked having the upper hand.

  “I’m fine,” I said, pushing off of the glass to stand. It took an enormous effort not to sway, but I did it.

  He released me, yanked open the shower door, and gestured. “Get in.”

  I hesitantly stepped in and was relieved when he shut the now-fogged door behind me. Both the shower and the bathroom were well lit, and I was horribly uncomfortable being naked in front of him. It was something I was going to need to get over. As a doctor, nudity would be necessary, but that was different. It wasn’t sexual nudity.

  I couldn’t put myself in that mindset here. Everything about Luka was sexual.

  The shower was tiled with pretty green and blue glass accents, and there was a low ledge on the wall opposite the shower head. It was just big enough to consider it a seat. The water was hot as I stepped under the steady stream and closed my eyes.

  How long would he give me to shower? Long enough to make sense of all the shit that just happened?

  No. Cold air wafted as the door swung out and my eyes fluttered open to see a fully naked Luka step into the shower. I scrambled backward and turned away to stare at the wall. “What are you doing?”

  “Saving time. We’re having dinner with my father in an hour.”

  My gaze burned a hole in the tile. “What?”

  Of co
urse he didn’t say anything. I pictured him with an annoyed look plastered on, not wanting to repeat himself when I’d obviously heard him. Which I had, but it didn’t mean I understood. He wanted to hold me prisoner here, and meet his parents?

  There was a quiet thud, and I glanced over my shoulder to see him set my shower caddy on the ledge.

  “You won’t talk during dinner,” Luka said. “Answer questions if he asks, but that’s it.”

  Since he couldn’t see me, I made a face.

  Stupid. I should have guessed he’d know. Maybe my body language had given me away. I found myself spun around and my back flattened against the wall. He loomed above and his face was deadly serious.

  “This is fucking important, you understand?” He looked . . . different. Holy hell, he looked concerned. It was such a strange fit on him. “My father’s an asshole. He’s mean, and cruel, and decisive, so you won’t say a goddamn word, or he’ll make you regret it.”

  I blinked against the water misting in my face. It was coming off of Luka as the shower beat against him, but he didn’t pay any attention. It ran in rivulets over his shoulders and down his chest, and I wanted to watch the path it carved, but didn’t dare take my gaze off of his onyx-colored eyes.

  “Not a word,” he repeated, every syllable weighted.

  “Okay,” I whispered. His intense stare made me uncomfortable, and my awkwardness couldn’t be contained. “How does you being in my way in the shower save time?”

  The muscle along his jaw flexed.

  Since it was his only response, I pushed further. “Or did you mean we didn’t have time to play ‘Let’s drown Addison in the bathtub’ again?”

  Uh oh. The eyebrow arrowed upward and a scowl threatened. “I wasn’t going to drown you. That was a lesson so you’d understand who’s in charge.”

  “Oh. Not me,” I said, my words bitter. “Got it.”