by Candy Crum
Bri gently put her arm around his back, not knowing how he would react to the contact. “Matt, I’m so sorry. I had no idea. That’s horrible.”
He nodded. “Yeah. It devastated me. Like I said, I’m sorry I lied by not telling you and I’m sorry I let you think she had a miscarriage. That’s what she told everyone. I never corrected it.”
“I really can’t imagine how awful that must have been for you. I wish I could have been there for you.”
“I know. I kept it from you because I didn’t want you freaking out about it and killing yourself to take care of me.”
“Oh, you mean like you did for me after It attacked me?” She smiled and he returned it.
“Yes. Like that. Though, I enjoyed it. You’re a whiner. You’d never have lasted.”
She shoved him a bit and he pushed her back. “You’re an ass,” she said.
“Yes, but I’m a glorious ass. Supermodel quality.”
Bri rolled her eyes and he got up and headed to the computer. Her good mood immediately fell when she remembered what she’d left on there. “What are you doing?” she defensively asked as she bolted over to the computer.
He looked at her with an amused expression as he sat down. “I’m getting on the computer. I have some stuff I have to look up for school. Is that a problem?”
He turned forward and unlocked the computer. Bri started to say something, but words escaped her as she saw him make eye contact with the already open window minimized at the bottom.
“Village Apartments?” he asked, opening the window. “You’re getting an apartment?” His voice sounded accusing and hurt as he looked at the screen.
“Matt, I’m sorry. But I can’t live here anymore. I can’t keep leeching off of you guys. And after our… Well, after whatever that was downstairs, I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to keep living together. I sleep in your bed, use your things, and wear your pajamas because I’m too big for my own and yours stretch. It’s time, Matt. I’m getting too big to keep hiding it from your mother anyway.”
“Did you not hear the part of that little story where I talked to mom? About the chick I got pregnant? Bri, she isn’t going to care. She will love and support you anyway.”
“Not if she thinks I’m trying to drag her son down. I can’t do this. I can’t let her know. I can’t do anything that would make me hate her. Just let me do this. I applied for a job at Sammy Subs, too.”
He sighed. “I don’t like it. At. All.”
“I know. But I have to do this. I have to become independent. All I’m doing is becoming dependent and expecting everyone to take care of me. I can’t do that. I’m going to have a baby. I need to be able to care for her and get things for her.”
“And take yourself to the doctor.”
Bri stopped. Other than being in the hospital, she still hadn’t been. “Yes. I need to be able to pay for visits. I don’t know if I’m still on my parents’ insurance or not.”
“This is what you really want?” he asked. Bri nodded. “I’m good with the job. You’re right. I’m okay with taking care of you, but if you want to learn how to become independent this is something you need to do. However, if you want me to agree to you moving out – and yes, I’d force you to stay if you disagreed – then you need to let me take you to WIC and to the doctor.”
“WIC?”
“Women, infants, and children. They help get you ready to be a mother and give you vouchers to help you get food you need to stay healthy like milk, cereal, cheese, and other stuff. They have classes and stuff, too. Mom had to do it when she was out of work because of pregnancy complications. That was back before Dad had so much work and his salary more than took care of us.”
“I don’t like the idea of living off the state, though. I want to try to do it by myself.”
“Bri, that’s fine and dandy. But the fact is that you don’t have a job at all. If you do get one, it will be minimum wage. You’re not going to be able to rent a place, pay utilities, and properly feed yourself while trying to furnish an apartment with baby stuff.”
She sighed. “Fine. I’ll do it. Obviously, I agree to the doctor. I very much need to go. I want to try to have an ultrasound. I want to know how the baby’s doing. I also want to know if it’s a girl.” She smiled.
“You still think it is?” he asked.
She nodded. “I do. I don’t know why. But when I imagine holding the baby, I see a little girl.”
“You’re probably right then. I’ll find the number to mom’s doctor and I’ll call her and tell her the situation. I’m sure we could get you in in the next few days.”
“Thank you. It really means a lot.”
“You’re welcome,” he said. “Now go take a nap. You’re very emotional today.” Her jaw dropped and she smiled before lightly punching him in the arm. “And violent! You really, really need a nap.”
Bri rolled her eyes at him once again before going and lying down in his bed. She hadn’t been up long, but it had been an emotional day. Really, a nap sounded amazing to her, like it would fix her in some way. She tugged the blankets up and pushed away all negativity. Even though she’d been through a lot with Matt that day, it was clear that he was still her best friend and still cared for her. If she couldn’t have him by her side as her own, at the very least he was behind her, pushing her along when she needed it.
Chapter 12
It took almost a week to get in to the doctor, but Bri didn’t mind. It gave her time to get her life somewhat in order. Sammy Subs called and interviewed her and just a few days later hired her. The apartment manager told her that she’d have to be legally emancipated before he could help her, but once she did that he would work with her on the deposit. He said that she could just pay a little extra every month until it was paid off instead of coming up with it all up front since she was in such a bad situation.
Things were hard, but it seemed like everything was going to work out okay. Bri showered, shaved, and fixed her hair in preparation for her first doctor’s appointment. She was nervous, but excited. She hadn’t been to the doctor yet, and she knew that could be bad. Especially since she hadn’t gone after the attack. Thinking more about it, she began to feel scared that something might be wrong. Her mind raced and she wanted to tear up worrying for her baby.
Gentle hands caressed her back, causing her to jump. She turned and saw Matt standing there. “You okay?” he asked. “You look like you’re about to freak out.”
“I think I might,” she said.
“Why? I thought you were ready and excited?”
She shrugged and looked down, clasping her hands together and playing with her fingers. “Yeah, I am. I really am. It’s just… What if something’s wrong? What if I go in there and find out that there was damage to the baby from the attack? What if there was something different that I could have been doing and didn’t do because I didn’t go to the doctor sooner? What if…”
“Stop!” Matt said, smiling as he grabbed hold of her shoulders. “You are already a better mother than the majority of mothers I’ve seen. You worry more for that baby than a lot of mothers I’ve seen and it isn’t even here yet. You are worrying. That’s natural, but you can’t let it control you. Welcome to motherhood. My mother still checks on me every night to make sure I’m breathing. You will likely be the same. You picked up more from my mom than yours.”
“Thank God.” She couldn’t even imagine what she would be like if she’d taken more after her mother. She didn’t want to.
“Exactly. So try not to worry so much. You are going to go, and you’re going to find out just how healthy that little boy or girl is. You might also find out the gender, which would be nice. So I can go buy my goddaughter or son some stuff.” Matt loved the idea of spoiling the baby rotten. Especially if it annoyed his or her mama.
“Goddaughter or son? So you’ve volunteered for that, have you? Decided this all on your own?” She smiled.
“Eh. I’m clearly the best option. I mea
n, what kid wouldn’t want this hilarious, intelligent, incredibly fun, and oh-so-handsome man as their godparent?”
She laughed. “I have no idea. After hearing it out loud, I think I want you as my godparent.”
“See? So of course I’m taking that responsibility. If you tried to give it to someone else I’d…” He paused for a minute, thinking of an appropriate threat. Their normal playful, “I’m going to smack you,” or “I’m going to beat you,” didn’t seem appropriate anymore.
“You’re gonna what?” she asked playfully.
He gave a devious grin. “I’ll have to get back to you on that.”
She gave her usual eye-roll. “You’re a wimp. But I’m ready. I’m starting to get jittery. I think I just want to get this over with.”
“Okay. Let’s go. Got everything you need?”
She nodded. “Yep, let’s go.”
Matt followed her out, shutting the lights out as they went. Shaelyn was at the grocery store and Jacqueline had gone to her boyfriend’s house, so they’d once again had the house to themselves. Only this time, they decided not to talk about anything personal. Things had certainly changed since that dinner-gone-wrong. Matt was hanging out with Bri more, for which she was grateful, but he was also just as emotionally distant as before. Though she didn’t understand why, he knew he had no choice if he was to protect them both from getting hurt.
The drive to the office was silent. Bri was still nervous and Matt didn’t want to add to it if he accidentally said the wrong thing. He reached over at one point and squeezed her hand, but that was the only thing shared between them.
When they arrived, there were only two women ahead of Bri. She signed in and filled out the paperwork while Matt watched a random talk show that was on, laughing and making fun of the people on the TV. When Bri finished, she went to the window and gave the receptionist the forms. After a few moments, the woman looked up.
“You don’t have insurance?” she asked.
Bri stalled. “Well, I was on my parents’, but I don’t know if that’s been canceled yet or not.”
“Do you have the card? I can always run it and see.” The woman smiled. She was friendly, but Bri could tell that she saw this kind of thing a lot.
Bri looked through her wallet and grabbed the insurance card, handing it to the woman. She began typing it in and Matt put his hand on Bri’s shoulder. “You should have a seat,” he said.
She looked at him. “I’m fine, but thank you. I need to be up here in case she needs something else.”
He shook his head. “You have been really tired lately. I know that you think you’ll be fine, but even just standing here for a while could tire you. Go sit down and I’ll come get you if she needs anything else. Okay?”
Bri paused. She looked at his face and realized that he wasn’t going to let it go, so she did as he asked. As she sat down, she looked over and saw that he was leaned a little into the window. The receptionist was nodding. Her brows lifted and she smiled. It was a deep, genuine smile, not one of the casual business types.
What are they talking about? Bri wondered. She was simply curious what could make her so happy.
The receptionist handed the card back to him and he came back over. “Good news! They apparently forgot to take you off. So your visit is paid for.”
Bri immediately became excited. “Really! That’s great! Now I won’t have to worry about this. I know doctors want the money up front, and I wouldn’t have had it. Thank you for bringing me and helping me with all this.” She leaned over and hugged him a little. He tensed for a second before relaxing again, wrapping his arm around her and tugging her close.
“Think nothing of it. That’s what a good godfather does.” He winked at her when she looked at him sarcastically.
A few minutes later, Bri was called back. She looked to Matt, her expression terrified. “Will you go with me?” she asked.
He smiled. “You realize what they are going to have to do to you back there, right?”
She nodded. “I Googled it. If you’re not too squeamish, would you go with me?”
He laughed, entertained by how cute she was when scared over something so routine, but he felt bad for her just as much. He stood and kissed the top of her head. “I’m a man – when it matters. Not a child. I’m not too squeamish. I’ll go with you. I just need to do something really fast. Go on back and I’ll be there before you know it.”
She went on and followed the nurse back. Matt walked up to the receptionist and smiled. “So, about what we were talking about.”
She smiled at him again, shaking her head. “You’re an incredible guy, you know that?”
He shrugged. “She’s my best friend,” he said before handing over his debit card. “I’m all she has.”
The receptionist ran his card for the full cost of the doctor’s visit before handing it back. He signed the receipt.
“Are you going to follow her around paying her doctor’s costs the entire pregnancy?” she asked.
“If she needs it, then yes. But she won’t ask or let me, so I have to do it this way. Her parents threw her out on the street when they found out. No real money. No food. They killed her phone and her health insurance. They are damning her with every fiber of their being. She deserves an honest start with that baby, and if I can give that to her by spending a little money, that’s what I’ll do.”
The receptionist sighed. “Do you have an older brother? Or maybe about three billion? Because every woman needs a man like you.”
He smiled. “No, ma’am, but thank you. Just look for a man that cares to open doors for you and likes to cook. Those things take patience and thoughtfulness.”
“Will do,” she said. She was enamored with him, never having met a guy like him. “If you go through that door right there, she’s in the third door on the left.”
“Thank you,” he said, heading through the lobby door to a hallway that held eight rooms. He picked the third one on the left and knocked.
“Matt?” He heard Bri’s tiny voice from inside the room.
“Are you decent?”
“Yes. Get in here.”
Matt walked in and saw Bri sitting on the table swinging her legs. Again, he found her nervousness cute, though he felt bad for her. “Ya gonna be okay?” he asked.
She nodded. “Yes… Maybe… I have no idea. I’m freaking out. I’ve never had one of these exams done. Will it hurt?”
“Well, you’ve… You know. Was that painful?”
She shrugged. “Stung, I guess. It was only once. But he was pretty small.” They each laughed, Bri laughing more loudly as her nervousness pushed her. “But this is different. That speculum thing looked pretty scary.”
There was a knock on the door. Matt stepped out of the way as it opened. Doctor Maree Metcalf, the OB/GYN that had taken care of Matt’s mother and also Bri when she was in the hospital walked through the door.
“Hello, Bri,” she said with a bright smile. “You look much better than the last time that I saw you.”
Bri smiled. “Thank you, I’m feeling much better. So is this gonna hurt?”
The doctor laughed. She, too, found Bri’s innocence rather cute. “Bri, I remember your story. I remember you saying that you’d only had sex once, and if that hasn’t changed I understand your concern. But I assure you, I’ve given these exams to girls with even less experience than you and have had no complaints of pain. I realize it’s a very strange thing to say, given what I do, but I’m very good at it. I’ll be very gentle.”
Bri felt better having talked to the doctor, but she was still very nervous. “If you say so,” she said.
The doctor walked over to the cabinet and retrieved a cloth hospital gown and a blanket. She handed them to Bri. “I’d like for you to change into the gown. It’s going to be strange, but put it on backwards so the front is open and use the blanket to cover yourself. Since this isn’t just a pregnancy exam, it’s your first ever, I’d like to do a breast exam and I’m g
oing to have to check your belly too. It will just make things easier on me.”
“Thank you,” Bri said. “Um, I know this is probably weird, but can Matt stay?”
The doctor smiled. “Yes. If you’d like for him to stay, I am just fine with it. Is he just here for support? Or am I giving him an advanced anatomy lesson?”
Matt laughed loudly and Bri found herself giggling too. “See why I brought you here? She’s damn good and damn funny.” Matt said.
“She’s a smartass like the rest of us. Fits right in,” Bri said.
“Indeed I am,” Doctor Metcalf said. “And I love that I get paid for it. I’ll be back in a few minutes, Bri. Just go ahead and get changed and we will get this over with as soon as possible.”
Doctor Metcalf left the room and Matt grabbed a magazine and sat in the guest chair. He immediately began flipping through to occupy himself while she got changed. As Bri changed, she looked at him several times to make sure he wasn’t peeping. She was shocked to find that he hadn’t moved. She’d never met anyone like him. Most guys would have snuck a peek, but Matt was different. He had more respect for her than that.
Bri tied the gown around her, closing it in the front, and climbed on the uncomfortable exam table and covered up to the neck. “It’s safe,” she said.
“Thank God. I was reading about sports.”
She laughed. “Wow, you really were trying hard, weren’t you.”
“You have no idea,” he said, voice just a whisper.
Bri caught the double meaning in his words, though he hadn’t meant for her to even hear the words. She found herself amused about it. Just being near him calmed her. She knew she couldn’t have done this alone. Matt leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes. She watched him as he rested. He was beautiful to her. She turned away then, watching her feet dangle from the table. She inhaled deeply, letting it go at a slower pace, feeling her body relax.