by Speer, Flora
“But you must. I need it. You promised.”
“I promised nothing, my lady,” Gwenefer said, “but to keep the secret that you are taking it. I have done so.”
“Oh, Gwenefer, please, as you are my friend, I beg you, get me more of that liquid.”
“Well,” Gwenefer looked over Selene’s shoulder, smiling into the dim, mysterious greenness of the Welsh forest, “I might think of something to help you. It will take a while.”
“I need more medicine before we leave Tynant. I’ve just enough for tonight and tomorrow.”
“And after that, it’s a big belly for you, isn’t it?”
“Gwenefer, don’t laugh at me. I’m desperate.”
“Yes,” Gwenefer said, “I believe you are.”
“Please, Gwenefer.”
“I never thought,” Gwenefer said, tossing the blue flower away with careless grace, “that I’d hear a Norman lady begging me for anything.”
Selene stopped walking and stood staring at Gwenefer’s triumphant face, while understanding dawned on her.
“What do you want of me?” she asked.
“I believe I can provide you with one more vial,” Gwenefer said. “I’ll give it to you tomorrow. Just one vial. For friendship’s sake.”
“And after that is finished? How will I get more when I am at Afoncaer?”
“Why, then someone will have to take it to you. A cousin of mine. And you will have to pay for it.”
“Pay what?”
“Information. There is a lot my cousin would like to know about Afoncaer.”
“I won’t do it.”
“Of course you will,” Gwenefer said pleasantly. “If you don’t, I’ll tell Sir Thomas what you have been doing with my help.”
“If you do, then Geoffrey will know you have been doing the same thing.”
“Do you really think Geoffrey will care that I’ve taken steps to avoid giving him bastard children?”
“How could you?” Selene cried. “I thought we were friends.”
“There can be no friendship between Welsh and Norman.”
“You tricked me!”
“You are easy to trick. You think only of yourself. Now, I think we should walk back to the house, don’t you? Your eager husband will be waiting for you. Tomorrow we will talk again, and I’ll tell you where and how you are to meet my cousin Cynan. There must be a suitable place near Afoncaer. You do ride out frequently to hunt, or for pleasure, don’t you? It shouldn’t be too hard.”
It was not until much later that night, when she lay wide awake beside Thomas, that Selene realized Gwenefer had put into her hands the opportunity Lady Isabel had said would come to her. The Welsh wanted to use her, but perhaps she could use them to accomplish the vengeance Isabel wanted. If she were very clever about it, Thomas need never know. She met Gwenefer confidently the next morning.
“I make a condition to my help, and it is that whatever you are planning, I will not be harmed, nor my daughter, nor Sir Thomas.”
“What reason could we have to harm you or your child?” Gwenefer said easily. “As for your husband, well, he is a fighting man, and if he takes up weapons against us, who’s to say what will happen? He’d expect a fair fight, you know.”
“I suppose you’re right. But Deirdre and I, do you promise that we will be safe?”
“Of course.”
“Then I’ll do what you want.”
“I knew you would,” Gwenefer said. But after they had arranged the exchange of information for the secret medicine Selene wanted so badly and Selene had left her, Gwenefer smiled to herself. “Promises made to Normans mean nothing,” she said.
Chapter 11
Life at Afoncaer was considerably more pleasant once the unpredictable Selene had gone to Tynant with Thomas. Even Arianna, though still loyal to her friend and distant kinswoman, rejoiced at the absence of quarrels over the smallest concerns, tears, reproaches, and thrown dishes, and Selene’s periodic refusals to let anyone else touch Deirdre.
Arianna had been put in charge of the nursery. As she had helped to care for the younger sons of Lady Aloise and Sir Valaire when they were babies, she had plenty of experience. Meredith also assigned a former kitchen girl, Linnet, to help with Deirdre, and this gave Arianna enough free time to continue her reading and writing lessons with Reynaud, or to work with Meredith in the stillroom.
Arianna was also able to ride with Cristin frequently. She noticed that Benet the stableboy always appeared at the right time and place so that he was the one who accompanied them. She regarded the dark, intelligent lad with a combination of amusement for his eagerness and pity for the look in his eyes whenever Cristin was near. Arianna could sympathize with what Benet must be feeling, caring for one who was unattainable to him. She knew that pain herself.
And yet, she was fully aware that she was happier than Selene would ever be. Selene had complained bitterly about the roughness of life and the remoteness of Afoncaer, situated as it was on the Welsh side of the border, and she had managed to quarrel with nearly everyone in the castle at some time or other. In contrast, Arianna had felt completely at home from the very first day. She knew in some deep, inner part of herself that Meredith had been right to insist she come here. She belonged in, and to, Afoncaer.
So peaceful were the days that early spring, so gentle the sun or the soft, misty-grey days of rain, that in mid-April Arianna was almost sorry to hear that Thomas and Selene would return in a few days.
“I hope Selene will let me continue to care for Deirdre,” Arianna said to Reynaud.
Over the last few months he had been teaching her to play chess. They sat at a small table before one of the fireplaces in the great hall, the board between them. It had been a rainy day, and Arianna knew Reynaud’s joints ached. She had suggested the game, hoping it would distract him. He certainly seemed to be concentrating. He made no comment on her remark, and did not look up when Guy came to stand between them, looking down at the carved ivory pieces. Arianna saw Guy’s fingers twitching and laughed.
“I think you see the move I should make,” she said.
“For a beginner,” Guy responded, “and a woman besides, you are a fair player, Arianna. You have patience and the ability to look beyond the present moment. I’ve known men who had neither.”
“Perhaps I’ll challenge you to a game when I’m more skilled,” she teased, and Guy laughed back at her. Then he sobered, frowning.
“I heard what you said about Selene,” he told her. “You will remain in charge of the nursery. That is Meredith’s wish, and I stand behind her. Selene will not be allowed to disrupt Meredith’s domestic arrangements. There will be no repetition of this past winter’s rages, or the Lady Selene will find herself confined to her bedchamber. I will have peace in my household.” He moved on to speak to Sir Kenelm.
“Peace.” Reynaud’s pale blue eyes met Arianna’s troubled gaze. “We shall see.”
“She doesn’t mean to be so difficult,” Arianna said.
“Then why is she? Well, perhaps she has changed. Yesterday I read a letter to Guy that Thomas had written. He says Selene is quite happy, and that all is well between them.”
Selene, when Arianna saw her again, did not look happy. She was pale and quiet and withdrawn into herself. She went to the nursery as soon as she had greeted Guy and Meredith. Arianna had been waiting for her there, not trusting herself to meet Thomas after so long without revealing to him or to others how much she had missed him. When Selene appeared in the nursery, Arianna gave Deirdre to her mother. The baby, not recognizing the mother she had not seen for more than three months, began to cry.
“Here.” Selene handed Deirdre back with a sigh. “You take her. She will have to learn to know me all over again, I suppose.”
“Are you well, Selene?” Arianna watched her friend with sharp eyes, trying to think what could be the cause of the change in her.
“Yes.” Selene headed for the door.
“Have you nothing
to tell me?”
“What should I tell you?” Selene looked almost frightened.
“I thought,” Arianna said while patting and soothing Deirdre out of her tears, “I thought you might tell me we need to begin sewing for a new baby. I thought you might be with child again.”
There was a flare of something in Selene’s eyes, a glimmer of the uncontrollable anger that had surfaced after Deirdre’s birth. Arianna wondered for a moment if Selene would throw something, but whatever it was, it died away, and Selene stood serenely by the door, shaking her head, a half-smile curving her lips.
“No,” she said firmly. “I am not with child.”
Selene slipped back into the daily routine of the castle, making no real change in the order of each day, and not disputing Arianna’s control of the nursery. She did ride more frequently than she had done before, either with hunting parties or with Arianna, Cristin, and Benet. When she did, she almost always wandered off by herself for a time, saying afterward that she had gotten lost, or hadn’t been paying attention, or just that she had wanted to be alone for a time.
“Be more careful, my love,” Thomas scolded her gently. “Don’t go too far afield without an escort. There are always a few untamed Welshmen who are not our villeins lurking about the fringes of Uncle Guy’s lands. You must have better protection when you ride out. I don’t want any harm to come to you.”
“I’ll watch where I go and not get lost again,” Selene said meekly.
She began to attend the weekly market that was held in an open field on the far side of the outer wall and wet moat. Each week she brought home some little trinket for Deirdre or Cristin.
“You always buy from the same man,” Arianna observed, as they walked across the bailey after one such excursion. “That little dark fellow. He talked to you for quite a long time, while I was at the next booth.”
“He’s amusing,” Selene responded, giving her friend a bright red ribbon. “This is for your hair. Next week I’ll try to find a green one for Cristin.”
“Are you ill, Selene? You are so pale, and you are always so quiet these days.”
“Am I? I suppose I’m just growing older, and perhaps more settled into this borderland life.” Selene turned to leave Arianna, and bumped into the man who had limped up behind her. “What are you doing, Reynaud? Are you spying on me?”
“I only thought to join you and Arianna, my lady. You are going to the hall, aren’t you?”
“Stop watching me! Stop staring at me!” With a visible effort, Selene regained control of herself. “You frightened me, Reynaud. I did not hear you behind me. I’m sorry I shouted at you. Excuse me, please. I should go to Deirdre.” She hurried on before them, running up the steep steps to the fore-building and disappearing into the keep.
“Now, what do you suppose ails her?” Reynaud wondered. “She has never apologized to me before.”
Spring slipped into summer, with the border so peaceful that Guy decided it was time to visit his English properties.
“We are going to Adderbury and then on to Kelsey,” Thomas told Selene. “Uncle Guy and Meredith, you and I. There is a great deal to be done at both places, we haven’t been to either for so long. We will be gone at least two months.”
“Two months?” Selene exclaimed. “We only just returned from Tynant.”
“Nearly three months ago,” Thomas laughed. “I had no idea you were so fond of Afoncaer.”
“I don’t want to leave Deirdre. She has just learned to know me again after our last separation.”
“Then we’ll take her with us, and Arianna, too. We’ll all go.”
“Not in the summer heat, Thomas. The poor child will be sick from all that traveling. No, you and Guy and Meredith go, and I will stay here. I’ll manage very nicely with Arianna and Joan to help me, and Captain John to guard us.”
“Geoffrey will come to Afoncaer when we leave. He always does.”
“Geoffrey?”
“I suppose he will want to bring Gwenefer with him. Joan won’t like that much.”
“Gwenefer, too? Well,” Selene said brightly, “you must see that I cannot possibly leave. I’ll have to mediate between Joan and Gwenefer. That old woman is certain to be scandalized when Geoffrey brings his mistress here and expects a private room for them both.”
Thomas burst into laughter.
“Selene, I have never heard so many silly excuses, not even from you. I know you have no interest in any other man, so you can’t want to stay behind to meet a lover. Tell me the truth. Why don’t you want to go with me?”
Selene thought rapidly, seeking one more excuse, a story that would satisfy him. She found it in the possibility that frightened her so badly every time it came into her mind.
“I didn’t want to tell you until I was certain,” she said, “but you force me to it. I may be with child again, Thomas, and I’m afraid to travel for fear I’ll miscarry.”
“Do you think so?” Thomas’s face came alive with such joy that Selene felt drowned in shame for the lie. She was not with child, but she feared she soon would be if she left Afoncaer without a supply of her medicine, and Cynan never brought her much. She had to meet him far too often to get more vials of the stuff, and he frightened her. And now she had had to lie to Thomas again. She felt like a fly caught in a spider’s web, unable to get free.
“Please don’t tell anyone,” she urged. “Wait until you return. I’ll know for certain by then.” When he did return, she would tell him she had been mistaken, and then she would blot out his disappointment with her body, in the way that pleased him best.
“You look frightened,” Thomas said.
“I was remembering how difficult it was the last time, all that pain, and the blood. Will you come to bed with me now, Thomas? I forget everything when I’m in your arms. I don’t want to be afraid any more.”
Geoffrey and a few men from Tynant arrived on the first day of August, and the following morning Thomas, Guy, and Meredith rode off to attend to their English properties. Sir Kenelm went with them. He had spent his childhood at Adderbury, until coming to Afoncaer ten years before, and he was betrothed to the daughter of Guy’s seneschal there. They would be married at Adderbury, and Kenelm would bring his new wife back with him in October.
“They have taken more men than we can rightly spare,” Geoffrey said to Reynaud. “I will sorely miss Kenelm. But it has been quiet all summer in this part of the border. Perhaps it won’t matter that we are short-handed.”
Gwenefer did not come to Afoncaer with Geoffrey. She waited until the day after Guy and his party had left before she appeared. She rode in at the gate in a brilliant red dress, trailing behind her two serving girls and a packhorse loaded down with boxes and baskets of clothing.
“I don’t like that woman,” Cristin observed jealously. She was in the kitchen with Arianna and Joan, helping to arrange the midday meal. “Why did she have to come here and spoil everything? I was so looking forward to riding with Geoffrey every day, and now he won’t pay any attention to me at all.”
“What Sir Geoffrey needs,” Joan said to Arianna, not troubling to hide her disgust, “is a good wife, not a strumpet like that. And she’s one of those awful Welsh, too, and not even from Geoffrey’s own lands. He ought to be ashamed of himself. He would never have dared bring her here if Meredith were at home.”
“What’s a strumpet?” Cristin asked.
“Avoid her as much as you can,” Arianna advised, trying to ignore Cristin’s question and wishing Joan would be silent in front of the child. “For Geoffrey’s sake treat her politely when you must deal with her.”
“I’ll set her place at the foot of the lowest table in the hall,” Joan grumbled. “She doesn’t belong here. She ought to be in the town, in that disreputable house by the gate.”
“What house?” Cristin followed Arianna out of the kitchen, along the passageway, and into the great hall. “What were you and Joan talking about? Geoffrey isn’t going to marry Gwenefer, is h
e?”
“I doubt it,” Arianna said truthfully.
“He better not,” Cristin said. “I won’t allow it. What do you think of this Gwenefer, Master Reynaud?”
The architect stood leaning on his crutches, waiting for the trestle tables to be set up before he made his way to his customary chair.
“I think, my dear, that you ought to remember your manners. Do not forget you are the daughter of this castle, and your parents’ representative in their absence.”
They were all shocked when not Geoffrey, but Selene, insisted Gwenefer must sit on the dais, next to her.
“We became friends at Tynant,” Selene said to Arianna, while Geoffrey looked embarrassed. “Gwenefer is most entertaining.” But Selene looked white and tense, and Arianna noticed she did not speak to Gwenefer at all during the meal. Nor did Selene appear to be listening when Gwenefer sang for them afterward.
“I wish Selene had not done that,” Geoffrey remarked later to Arianna and Reynaud. “Gwenefer had agreed to eat with the common folk while we are here, but I could not oppose Selene’s wishes. She is the ranking lady at Afoncaer while Meredith is gone, and I am bound to obey her in domestic matters.”
“It is very unlike Selene,” Arianna said. “She is usually so proud of her rank. Too proud, in fact. She keeps her distance from the common folk.”
“Yes,” Reynaud agreed, his pale eyes on Selene. “It is odd. Most curious.”
“I should never have allowed Gwenefer to come here.” Geoffrey looked uncomfortable, and Arianna realized he was trying to apologize. “She said she could not bear to be parted from me for so long, and I wanted her near me. I fear I’ve let affection cloud my judgment, and I regret it already. I suppose I ought to send her back to Tynant.”
Captain John, the grizzled old leader of Guy’s men-at-arms, called to him, and Geoffrey left them to attend to some problem in the barracks.
“Now, Arianna, you see the value of a celibate life,” Reynaud remarked dryly, making Arianna smile in spite of her distaste for the situation Geoffrey had inflicted upon them. “He won’t send her away either, I’ll wager, though it would be the wisest thing to do.”