“Excuse me, Kat.”
She turned from the doorway. “There’s no excuse for you, Alex.”
He suppressed a smirk. That’s more like her. He walked up to her and she planted her feet more firmly, as if stopping herself from running away. He noticed for the first time that she was wearing heels, not the flats she usually preferred. He knew Elle was good, but something wasn’t sitting right with him. “Can you tell me who you are and what you’ve done with the Kat I know?”
She lifted her gaze and he felt his heart kick in his chest. Her clear blue eyes had a new determination in them. “I thought you’d be happy that I’m finally following instructions.”
I should be.
“I don’t like people who are unpredictable.”
“Take it up with your therapist.” She turned.
“I need to know what you said to the senator about the IED bill.”
“You tell me. The senator mentioned he had a meeting with you right after,” she threw over her shoulder.
“We had a lot of other things to talk about—we didn’t get to it.”
“Then I must not have said anything important.”
“Kat!”
She faced him again. “I don’t understand what you want from me, Alex.” There! A genuine reaction. The ice in her eyes had been replaced with the passion he liked to see.
“The senator came back from dinner questioning his commitment to the IED bill. Please tell me what you said to him.”
A line deepened between her brows. “I told him that I thought he was playing fast and loose with the public trust, that those meetings you had with the donors were disgusting and that I was disappointed he wasn’t the man I pictured him to be.”
Alex stared at her. Had she really said those things? He wouldn’t put it past her. She was a loose cannon. Whatever his reservations about Mellie might be, at least she was predictable.
“The conversation between me and my father was a show for the cameras. Those vultures stood right outside the glass windows taking pictures. I was mad and in no mood to be kind.”
“I had nothing to do with the reporters.” A nerve twitched in his forehead. Alex knew the senator disagreed with him on using the dinner as a media opportunity. Had the senator arranged this? No way. It had to be a coincidence. The man didn’t call up reporters on his own; he would’ve needed people to do this and the campaign staff didn’t do anything without Alex finding out about it.
“Senator Roberts is well-known. Someone must have called the media from the restaurant,” he said dismissively, returning to his desk.
“And of the hundreds of restaurants you could’ve picked, why choose one where our table was right beside big glass windows?”
The restaurant had been the senator’s choice.
“Have you stopped to consider what it would mean to withdraw troops from Iraq?”
“It would mean bringing our men and women home. How do we really know we are making things better for the Iraqi people? Maybe we’d be better off focusing on things that matter to people here who want jobs, good schools for their children...”
“They also want to feel safe. They don’t want to go to work wondering whether their building will get blown up.”
“That’s fearmongering.”
“You have no idea what you’re talking about.”
She stepped up to his desk and planted her hands on it, leaning forward.
“Then educate me. We have American children dying in Guam because we apparently can’t afford to give them money to upgrade their medical facilities. Why is this technology so important that we’re going to give millions of dollars to an unstable regime to get an inferior version of it?”
“Do you know what it’s like to get blown up by an IED?”
“I...”
He leaned forward so they were nearly nose to nose. “You don’t, because you sit in your ivory tower analyzing numbers and facts. Take a second to feel what it might be like. I walked down a street we knew to be littered with IEDs. Imagine what it’s like taking each step as if it might be your last. To wonder whether your mother will know how to request your death benefits from the army.”
She stepped back, her face white.
“I was on patrol with my buddy. The EAGLE robot jammed and he wouldn’t let me go retrieve it. Said it was his turn. He pushed me out of the way and got blown up. I watched his body twist unnaturally. I had to scour the streets for his leg in case they could reattach it. Guess what? They couldn’t. So now he’s in a wheelchair for the rest of his life.”
Her hands flew to her face. “Alex, I had no idea. I’m so sorry. How is he?”
Alex turned away from her, unable to deal with her shining eyes. Nick’s story wasn’t a secret, but he didn’t need sympathy from her. There was only one way to repay Nick’s debt.
“He hasn’t been able to find a job, and he lives in a trailer but won’t let me help him because he’s too damn proud. The only thing he’s asked is that I do what I can to make sure this doesn’t happen to other soldiers.”
“The only way to keep them safe is to bring them back.”
He gritted his teeth. When would she get off her high horse and understand that it wasn’t as simple as that?
“Come with me to Iraq. See for yourself what we’re fighting for.”
She took a sharp breath. He balled his hands into fists. What was wrong with him? The words had come out of his mouth without any thought.
“I can’t. My mother...”
He let out his own breath. “I know. It’s not practical.”
She left, and with a sense of relief he turned to his computer, tapping the keys to wake it up. Staring at his screen, he couldn’t remember what he’d been working on before she walked in. He gave up and shut down. It was better to leave before he did something else stupid. Why was he letting Kat into his head? What did it matter if she understood why this bill was so important to him? She wasn’t any more powerful than the rest of the people who questioned him—the donors, party members and other stakeholders he dealt with every day. Then why is she getting under your skin? He packed up his files and made his way to Crista’s desk.
“Here’s the check from EAGLE,” he said.
“What did you have to run by the senator?”
He shrugged. “It wasn’t important.”
“You asked her to come to Iraq?”
“Crista...”
She stood and grabbed his arm, pulling him back into his office and closing the door. “I’ve seen what you’re like around her.”
“Crista!”
“I’m not the only one who sees it. Nathan said something to me this morning about how you were looking at the front door like you were waiting for someone.”
He rolled his eyes. “I don’t have time for this.”
“I saw the emails you sent her.”
“You’re reading my emails?”
“I have access to the campaign server, remember?”
They had separate servers for campaign and congressional staff. The congressional emails were on a server in DC. Alex even had an entirely separate account to communicate with donors that wasn’t hosted on either server. He knew how to hide emails he didn’t want seen. What was he thinking sending those flirtatious emails to Kat on the campaign server? The messages were meant to be perfunctory but he hadn’t been able to help himself. Just like he hadn’t been able to shut his mouth before asking her to come to Iraq.
“Crista, you’re reading too much into this. I need to get to the Eastern Shore.”
“She’s the right type for you.”
“Excuse me?”
“She looked good on the cameras yesterday. I think you can get her over the media aversion. She’s smart and she has a pedigree. If the se
nator runs for president, you’ll be all set with her by your side. She meets your requirements.”
His chest burned. “Let’s not have this conversation again. That’s not what our breakup was about.” Why was Crista opening old wounds? When he hired her, they’d both agreed not to rehash their relationship.
“Yes, it was, Alex, and don’t insult me by pretending it wasn’t. But there is one thing I haven’t figured out. Why were you with me to begin with?”
Because you’re intelligent and didn’t bore me to tears.
“Crista, we agreed to keep it professional. Let’s not get into this again.”
She pressed her lips together. “I’ll talk her into Iraq.” She turned and walked away.
Alex didn’t know whether to stop her or thank her. Crista was wrong about Kat meeting his requirements; she was too headstrong and volatile. Arguments would be typical in their daily lives, and he couldn’t afford to keep being impulsive. He needed someone with whom he was in complete control of himself. The last thing Kat needed was another violent man in her life.
CHAPTER EIGHT
WHY WAS SHE even considering it? Alex’s halfhearted offer hadn’t been real. She chewed her lip. She was tired of having things happen to her and merely reacting to them, changing her life to accommodate whatever disaster someone else caused. She’d realized that yesterday, when she’d stepped out of headquarters with her father into the sea of reporters. So she’d gone along with him, smiled and made conversation, all the while gathering information for her book, including a quote her father wouldn’t expect her to publish. Maybe she should take the same approach with this trip to Iraq.
Alex’s words came back to her. She’d never been to Iraq, and she didn’t know what it was like. So who was she to pontificate on what should happen there? Getting an opinion from soldiers on the ground and speaking to locals would add dimension to her analyses, let her see firsthand what Alex was talking about. And being with Alex had nothing to do with this.
She picked up the phone, and her aunt Luce readily agreed to come stay with her mom. Kat suspected Emilia had called her aunt two nights ago and put her on standby when Kat returned from Washington, DC, tired and barely able to walk through the front door.
Kat had never traveled internationally. She had lectured for hours on the war in Iraq without ever having stepped foot in the country. When would she get such an opportunity again? Aunt Luce could take care of her mom for a few days, couldn’t she?
If she was lucky, the trip might even shorten the time she needed to spend with the campaign. The faster she wrote the book, the sooner she would get her promotion. Then she could go back to her normal life, where her world made sense and she didn’t live in a fishbowl or have to deal with her father.
She tried not to think about how disappointing dinner with the senator had been. He had been charming and full of amusing tales, but beyond discussing the IED bill, there was nothing real in their conversation. They’d never gotten back to talking about her mother or shared any feelings about their newfound relationship. The only substantive moment they’d had was when he talked about his son and daughter, his voice filling with genuine pride.
“Hi!”
Kat jumped. She’d never get used to people sneaking up behind her. She made a mental note to check out the other cubicles to see if there was one that faced outward so she could see who was coming at her.
“Hi, Crista. How are you?”
Without waiting to be invited, Crista pulled a chair from another cubicle, blocking Kat’s entry as she parked herself. “So, I called the home-health company you use and they agreed to increase the coverage on your mom if you want to go to Iraq.”
Kat sat up straighter, irritation burning deep in her belly. “Crista, I wish you hadn’t done that. It’s my personal business and I don’t like—”
“You’re not authorized to offer the owner’s daughter an internship on the campaign in exchange for them not charging you any more than what you’re paying for the summer. I am.”
Kat took a breath. “I...”
Crista put her hand on Kat’s shoulder. “It’s okay to let people help you. Nathan gets me a cup of coffee every morning because he knows I hate the stuff we brew here. Alex paid the ER bill for the IT kid when he broke his arm. We work together for fourteen hours a day—we’re each other’s family.”
An elephant was sitting on her chest. Kat had never had a real friend, someone who would take care of her. She always had too much to ask and not enough to give. Colin had been her friend first. He hadn’t seemed to mind that she didn’t have a lot to offer in return for his kindness with her mother, but then he’d taken the only thing she did have that was all her own. Her professional integrity. What did Crista hope to get from her?
“Sometimes you need a friend to do something you wouldn’t do for yourself, Kat. Go to Iraq, take a break from your daily obligations. Enjoy the time with Alex.”
Her head snapped up. “There’s nothing going on between me and Alex.”
Crista smiled slyly. “I never said there was. I just said enjoy the time with him. It’s hard to get his attention for more than five minutes around here—you can learn a lot about the campaign from him.”
Her face heated. “Oh.”
“It’s okay, Kat. We’re not dumb. We spend most of the day analyzing what someone meant or trying to predict what the opponent might do. We’re pretty good at reading human behavior. It’s obvious you’re attracted to Alex and that he’s got a thing for you.”
“I’m not pursuing him.”
Crista laughed. “Not because of me, I hope. We dated two years ago—that’s like ten campaign years. If it makes you feel better, I’ve had two boyfriends since Alex. I’m most definitely over him, and honestly, I think he might be less cranky if he had someone. He handles everything alone.”
Kat searched Crista’s eyes, but she gave away nothing. “Since you’re so good at reading people, you do know that Nathan has a thing for you, right?”
Crista chuckled. “See? It’s not that hard to figure these things out.” She lowered her voice. “I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to get involved with him until I’m ready for a long-term relationship. He’s a forever kind of guy.”
Kat knitted her brows. Hadn’t Crista said she’d broken things off with Alex because he wasn’t going to marry her? “Are you really sure you’re over Alex?”
“I know what you’re thinking. It’s not that I wanted to marry Alex—I just needed to know there was a future if I was going to invest more time in him. I didn’t want to fall hard, spend years in a relationship and then realize we weren’t in the same place. I’m thirty-three years old—I can’t afford to waste several years on a guy and still have a family at the end.”
If that was the case, why wasn’t Crista open to the idea of dating Nathan? Kat wanted to say something, but she kept her mouth shut. Crista had extended her friendship and Kat didn’t want to push it. “Well, it’s hard not to be attracted to Alex, but we disagree on everything. It’s never going to work between us and I’m not interested in casual relationships.”
Crista smirked. “You just wait—Alex has a way of getting under your skin. So, will you go to Iraq?”
There was no reason not to. With her aunt’s help and extra nursing care, her mother would be well taken care of. “I’m the only person in the world who wants to go to Iraq to take a break.”
Crista clapped her hands. “Don’t worry. We usually arrange security with a private company in addition to what the army will provide. There are a number of green-zone camps and the general will decide which one to send you to on the day you arrive, to minimize the risk of an ambush.”
Crista continued for several more minutes. Kat should’ve been concerned about the fact that she’d need to wear a bulletproof vest from the second she s
tepped off the plane, but all she felt was an uplifting energy. The most adventurous thing she’d done in her life was to try skiing with Colin on a rare weekend when her aunt had come to visit.
Crista excused herself and returned a few minutes later with a credit card and piece of paper. “This is your travel credit card and a list of items you need to buy. Use the credit card—the campaign will cover any of the supplies on the list.”
Kat scanned the list. “Thermal underwear?”
“We have an Iraq travel guide on the network drive. Read it. The temperatures there can vary considerably. You need to be prepared. It’s not exactly a honeymoon location.”
Before Kat could protest, Crista held up her hands. “Sorry, I can’t help it. Just take my advice and don’t let Alex push you away. He’s a terror in the office but he’s a wonderful boyfriend.”
She left Kat wondering exactly what made Alex such a wonderful boyfriend and how she was going to get through seven days in close proximity to him.
* * *
KAT LOOKED UP at the departure monitor to make sure she was heading to the right gate. Dulles Airport was a blur of world-savvy travelers walking with purpose. Two days had gone by in a whirlwind. She was grateful that her aunt had come early so that Kat could finish shopping for the “trip to hell,” as most of the staffers called it.
She’d downloaded a pile of reading onto the campaign tablet, which she hoped would get her through the twenty-hour trip. There weren’t any direct flights to Baghdad from the US; it wasn’t a great tourist destination. They’d be flying a commercial airline into Doha, Qatar, then taking another flight to Baghdad.
Kat idly wondered who else was flying to Iraq, given the new security concerns. Alex wanted her to have a passport that identified her as a US government employee, but they hadn’t had time to get it for her, so she was traveling on her tourist one. For once, Kat was grateful to Colin for insisting that she get a passport so they could go overseas for their honeymoon. Now that she thought about it, she’d been more excited about the possible trip than the actual honeymoon with Colin.
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