“Stop being a party pooper, Powell,” Alex teased, splashing water up on him. He climbed in directly across from me, and I could barely handle it.
What I didn’t understand was how some boy who acted like he hated me all the time could leave me feeling as if I was ready to pass out. Yet again.
“So, how was it?” Kenzie asked, now sitting on Luke’s lap.
“Wicked dude,” Alex replied, leaning his head back against the side of the pool. “So wicked.”
Yep, the hot tub was way too hot.
“Anyone want to go for an actual swim?” I said daringly, looking straight at Dean. I wasn’t sure what had possessed me, but I needed to get out of here.
“Me!” Amanda said immediately, before Kelly smacked her arm, and looked back and forth between me and Dean.
“I mean,” she cleared her throat. “Maybe in a little bit.”
Dean stayed where he was and didn’t say anything.
I rolled my eyes.
As I climbed out of the pool, I became hyper-aware of the fact that my bikini was, in fact, white, and there were four boys staring straight at me. I quickly jumped into the pool on the other side, feeling the cool shock of the pool after sitting in the hot tub.
I smoothed my hair back out of my eyes, and finally felt like I could breathe again.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Stacia standing on the pool deck. Dean’s eyes met mine again, and I could have sworn that just based on that look, he hated me. Then he shoved his way out of the hot tub and walked over to Stacia, not bothering to grab a towel as he dripped water everywhere.
That made me mad. Why did he want me to come in the first place? He was officially the strangest person I’d ever met in my entire life. If he weren’t so attractive, someone would have committed him by now.
Kenzie shot me an apologetic look.
I swam around for a few minutes relaxing in the cool water, and decided it would be best if I just went to sleep. The quicker this trip was over, the quicker I would get back to town and be on my way again. This would be nothing but a strange memory. I would miss Kenzie, but we’d just have to make more of an effort to see each other.
I made my way out of the pool and quickly wrapped one of the spa-like fluffy white towels around my body to stop from shaking from the cold. It must be freezing outside.
“I’ll see you guys tomorrow,” I managed through my chattering teeth.
They all protested and tried to make me stay, but I couldn’t. Everything reminded me of the life I used to live before everything. Before my dad died, and before the person I loved the most betrayed me. That year, a piece of my heart broke, and I hadn’t been the same since.
As I walked through the house, I remembered something Alex had said, and looked around for the steam room. That would be a good way to warm up before I went to bed.
I found a door that led to a room that looked like a locker room of sorts, and switched my soaking wet towel for a new, dry one. I wrung my hair out, and immediately felt better.
I tried a few doors and found only closets, or doors to other bedrooms. I had no idea this place even had that many rooms, because I’d only really seen mine and the kitchen.
The last door that I hadn’t tried yet was heavier than the rest, so I assumed it was the right one. I gave it a shove, and immediately felt moisture and heat hit my face. Voila.
Except that the second I saw the inside of the room, my stomach dropped to the floor, and my blood ran like ice through my veins. My breath stopped, and I hated everything I saw.
I was back to four years ago, when I found the boy who told me he couldn’t live without me with another girl.
I should have run, but I couldn’t. Even with the door open just a crack, and the steam pouring out of the vents, he saw me.
She was kissing his neck, her back turned to me, but his eyes bore into mine. My mouth dropped, and I knew I would never be able to forget the sight. I felt like it was far too intimate for me to be walking in on.
I just stood there, frozen to the spot, reeling that this had happened to me again. Again? Why would I think this was the same as Daniel? I was in an actual, committed relationship with Daniel. Dean was barely my stepsister’s friend’s brother.
She didn’t see me, she just continued her assault on his shiny, wet, golden skin.
Oh my god. I felt like I was going to be sick.
I shut the door, dropped my towel, and ran as fast as I could through the labyrinth back to the kitchen. I slipped and almost fell sideways when I hit the slate floors, but I didn’t care.
I couldn’t believe I was reacting this way. I had just walked in on a couple, no big deal. It was awkward, but I shouldn’t feel like this. Why did I feel like I had some kind of claim on him?
I sprinted up the stairs fueled by emotions I didn’t know I had, and slammed all of my clothes into my bag.
Before I could think about anything else, I knew I had to leave. I had to find a phone, and get out of here. I couldn’t stand to say there one second longer.
I didn’t even bother to take my suit off, but put sweatpants and a jacket on over top of it.
I flew down the stairs to the kitchen only to find the satellite phone was dead. Great. That left the phone in the staff quarters, but I wasn’t sure where that was.
“Alex,” I shouted, running out to the deck. “Where’s the other phone?”
Everyone stopped laughing and looked at me, their confusion clear.
“Uh, down the hill and to the left in the staff lodge.” he said, pointing. “Why?”
“Emergency. Gotta go. Thanks so much for having me!”
I ran out the door faster than I knew I could.
The air was freezing, and my wet hair and clothes didn’t help, but I would be dry soon. I could call Jed, and he could drive his beautiful car with heated seats up to get me, and I would be out of here in no time. I would be snuggled in a bed, away from all of this.
I was tromping down the snow, trying to keep my balance, when I heard someone calling my name.
Nope. I wasn’t going to look back. I knew who it was. I was too ashamed of how I had reacted.
“Lauren, stop!” he continued.
I blocked him out.
I saw a smaller lodge ahead and kept running.
It was then that I heard a strange noise in the silent night, like someone was shifting ice on top of a car. It was too loud to be anything I recognized.
I turned to see what it was, but part of me already knew.
Oh, great.
I froze in place for the second time that night.
I could see Dean’s silhouette up the mountain, but behind him, a mass of white was moving in the dark.
Wait.
Avalanche watch. Staff quarters. Peak three.
It couldn’t be.
“Dean, run!” I screamed at the top of my lungs, and started running toward what I thought was the staff lodge.
We were both looking over our shoulders, me at him, and him at the avalanche heading straight for us.
I made it to the deck of the lodge and peeled the door open. Thank goodness it was unlocked.
Nothing, not even the sight of him in the steam room with Stacia, chilled my heart more than watching him outrun certain death. After what seemed like hours, he made it to me, and shoved me inside.
He didn’t have time to shut the door all the way, and I tripped on the ice by the door and not-so-gracefully hit my head on one of the beams that supported the ceiling. Hard.
“Fuck, Lauren,” was all I heard as everything went blurry, and then black.
“NOPE,” I HEARD. “You’re not going to sleep.”
I could feel myself moving, but I was dizzy. My head felt as though someone had swung an axe through it.
When I opened my eyes, everything seemed too bright.
“What?” I managed. My voice crackled but it hurt too much to clear it.
My arm lulled to the side and my stomach lurched as I real
ized I wasn’t on solid ground. I tried to sit up, but his arms kept me in a cage.
“Shhh, hold on.” I felt his voice rumble through his jacket.
Then I remembered what had made me run to begin with.
“Put me down!” I screamed, a little louder than necessary, causing daggers to slice through my head with the sound vibrations.
He did, just not as quickly as I would have liked.
“Let me look at it,” he said, leaning in. His voice was too loud.
“No,” I said, recoiling as I remembered the steam room. “Don’t touch me.”
I looked at him like he was diseased, and who knew, he probably was.
No, that wasn’t necessary.
Or was it? I had no idea how many people he’d been with. His reputation proceeded him.
I couldn’t believe I had let myself feeling any sort of anything, or think that I was special since he wanted me on this trip. He had ignored me for the better part of two days, and then I found him making out with some girl in a steam room.
Clearly, it was a big overreaction on my part, but I was so angry at him, and at myself. Why did I feel like I had any sort of claim on him? I hadn’t had a claim on anyone in four years, and even that meant nothing in the end.
He looked at me with such intensity that I curled back into a smaller ball against the wall, my knees tucked up against my chest. My head was pounding, but I didn’t want him to come any closer. That would make my heart throb, which would be worse.
“I’m sorry,” he said finally, and part of me believed he meant it.
Why was he sorry? He did whatever he wanted. He didn’t need my approval.
I didn’t respond for a long time. I just sat and shivered against the wall wanting to cry, and shaking from anger and cold.
He pulled up a chair and sat against the other wall. The space wasn’t very big, so in reality he was probably only about ten feet away from me.
For the first time I realized it was mostly dark. There was a strange, soft glow coming from the outside, and I saw white spilling in through the broken windows, the glass mixed with powder on the floor below. I could see the room we were in, but not much further because there were less windows. At least we’d made it inside and hadn’t been crushed by the snow out there.
After what seemed like forever, he repeated his earlier sentiments.
“I’m sorry,” he said again, this time even more softly. He still wasn’t looking at me.
“Why?” my voice rasped, not sounding like me.
I heard him sigh.
“I don’t know. For hooking up with Stacia.”
“Why would you be sorry about that? From the looks of it, you’ve been hooking up with Stacia for a long time,” I said truthfully. I didn’t mean it maliciously, but I knew it probably sounded that way.
His eyes flickered to mine in the dark, and I felt like he was seeing more of me than I wanted.
“I shouldn’t have done that. I invited you here, and I was a complete dick the entire time.”
I laughed softly, and winced at the pain in my head.
“Oh really? You think that was a dick move?” My response was dripping with sarcasm.
“Why does it matter what I saw, Dean?” I asked honestly after he didn’t respond. Part of me wanted to know if there was any way this whole thing wasn’t one-sided. I didn’t see how it couldn’t be, but I didn’t have much to lose.
“It matters,” he said, his words dripping with a weight I didn’t understand.
“Why?” I whispered, wondering if he’d hear me at all.
He stood up and reached for something in his pocket, pulled it out, and sat down again.
“I don’t know, it just does. I shouldn’t have done that.” He sounded exasperated. “How’s your head?”
“It hurts.”
“You hit it really hard.”
Neither of us said anything for a long while.
“I’m sorry,” I said softly.
“For what?” He genuinely seemed not to know.
“If I hadn’t overreacted like that and run away, we would both be sleeping in our warm, cozy beds, not shivering here in the dark.”
“Well, I’m glad we’re not alone,” he said.
I nodded, immediately wishing I hadn’t because of how the pain in my head resurfaced.
“And I wasn’t really doing a whole lot of sleeping.”
I scoffed. “Of course you weren’t.”
“No, not like that. I just couldn’t sleep. I was thinking.”
“About what?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Why are you so mysterious?”
“Why do you have so many questions?”
I smiled at him through the dark.
“I do have a serious question though,” I said.
“Do tell,” he smiled, that wicked look coming back.
“How are we going to get out of here?”
He sighed and stood again.
“Well, I can’t see how far back that hallway goes, but supposedly there’s a phone in here somewhere. I’m concerned that they won’t know we’re here, because they don’t know if we got caught in the snow outside or inside. This is only the maintenance lodge though, I think the staff lodge is a few hundred yards west of here. So we’re running on limited supplies.”
“Yeah, it was kind of a miracle we even made it in here,” I agreed.
“We can drink the snow,” he said, pointing outside. “So I’m not worried about water. But I am worried that we will run out of air depending on how big this space is and how long we’re trapped here.”
I sucked in a breath involuntarily and shivered. It was endearing that he’d already thought so much about how to survive this scenario.
“Will you please let me look at your head?” he asked, looking sympathetic.
“Fine.” I exhaled.
He crossed the room and dropped to his knees beside me, gently putting his hands on my head to turn it from side to side. I closed my eyes and let him comb his fingers through my hair and looked for blood.
His breath was warm on my forehead in the cold air, and I didn’t dare open my eyes to see how close he was.
“You really need to stop falling,” he said softly. “Look at me.”
Reluctantly, I met his gaze. I was amazed at how tired I was, I could barely keep my eyes open. I just wanted to sleep and wake up and be back home. My brow furrowed. Where was home? I guess I classified it as school, but even that didn’t seem like home anymore. I didn’t have one, and hadn’t since I was Emma’s age. That was when Mom and Dad and Tucker and I all lived in the Springs together.
Dean sighed after studying my eyes.
“I can’t tell in this light,” he whispered of consideration for my noise sensitivity. “Did you pass out at all, or were you just blacked out from the pain when you hit your head?”
I tried to remember, but couldn’t.
“I don’t know,” I said truthfully.
He didn’t seem happy with that answer.
“Let’s just talk then,” he said, sitting down on the floor beside me. “You need to stay awake.”
I frowned.
“Well, what do you want to talk about?” I said, clearly exasperated.
He looked at the other side of the room instead of me.
“I’m not what you think,” he said finally, meeting my gaze again.
I wanted to laugh, but I felt like that was rude, so I just smiled slightly.
“And what does that mean?”
“I’m just not who people say I am,” he said shortly. “I’m sure Kenzie’s told you things.”
I bit my lip.
“Those things don’t seem so unfounded.”
He just sighed sadly, but kept looking at the other side of the room where the windows were covered by snow. He looked frightened.
I knew I should be scared, but somehow I wasn’t. We’d find the phone, and someone would find us. I kind of liked that he was
being honest with me and acknowledging my presence, unlike earlier. He felt like a real person, not just a guy who’d swept me off my feet and then knocked me to the ground.
After what felt like an eternity, I decided to throw him a bone. Part of me was aching to understand who he was underneath it all, because he reminded me so much of myself. Layers of walls built up over the years, so thick that I wasn’t even sure I was still alive in there anymore.
“Tell me one true thing about yourself, Dean Powell.” I tilted my chin up and looked at him with all the seriousness I could muster, and he matched it with an answer that carried with it the weight of the world.
With one sentence, I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, but I knew he was telling the truth. And part of that truth was why he was the person who he was, and he was willing to reveal it to me. It revealed why he and Jenny were on their own, and why he had such a heavy heart for a person so young.
As much as I thought I was chipping away at him, he took a pickaxe and drove it through the ice block the thing that was beating in my chest.
“My dad was a drug lord.”
AND JUST LIKE that, he shattered a little piece of my heart.
“Something about yourself,” I managed to say quietly after a few minutes in silence. I couldn’t tell whether he regretted saying what he did, or if he was wrestling with himself about it. But in that moment, I realized we were two of a kind. I grew up with a loving family up until my mom decided to run off and become a flight attendant, then I lost my dad, and I lost Daniel. I still had Tucker, but he was across the country playing soccer for an Ivy League school on a scholarship, which was something he couldn’t say no to after all we’d been through.
Dean didn’t have anyone either. That part of me, the part that understood the feeling of being alone and not having any sort of home ached for him. I’d spent so much of my life building up walls and keeping people out, but he came crashing through every brick I’d ever put up with the look in his eyes.
“It was about me,” he said intensely.
I gulped and nodded, feeling like I needed to listen more than anything else in the world. I wanted to know. I wanted to be for someone what I didn’t have.
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