I waved my arm at her again.
“Lauren,” Kenzie said, shaking my arm. “Did you hear her? Try to wake up, okay?”
I groaned again, wanting them to leave me alone.
“Hey,” I felt Dean’s voice close to my ear again, and his hand squeezed mine. “If you stay awake, I’ll tell you a secret.”
I opened my eyes, suddenly interested. I was like a kid in a candy store. I reached out with my IV arm and touched his nose. He blinked slightly, but didn’t move.
“You’re pretty,” I said, feeling like I was twelve.
Kenzie started laughing again, and Jed excused himself to go find Dr. Evers.
“You’re not so bad yourself,” he chuckled, his breath falling on my face.
“Guys I’m just going to close my eyes, okay?” I assured them, feeling myself falling asleep, but I didn’t want them to get worried and wake me up.
“Just for a second, right?” Dean asked, and he sounded like he was talking to Emma.
I nodded.
As my eyelids fell, I could have sworn I heard someone whisper in my ear and brush my forehead.
Good thing it was all a dream.
EXCEPT THAT IT wasn’t.
I started to fully come out of the anesthesia while they were trying to load me into the car. After Kenzie and Jed made sure that there was nothing wrong with me, Dr. Evers told me I was free to go, so long as I didn’t do any strenuous physical activity for the next week or so. That was fine with me, because I didn’t want to do anything but sleep.
Sleep was good. Apparently the reason they kept me under for so long was because my body was in shock and needed to heal. That didn’t make sense to me, but then again, I had been feeling exhausted before the avalanche adventure.
I refused to let the nurse wheel me around and threw a fit when Dean tried to do it because it was so embarrassing. Then I apparently passed out while they were arguing with me so Dean decided to capitalize on the opportunity and carry me to the car.
I woke up feeling like I was floating, and saw Jed’s face sideways from where I was laying. He didn’t look happy.
“Guys, can I please just lie down? I don’t want to sit up,” I begged them when they tried to make me sit up with my seatbelt on. I felt nauseous and my head would pound every time I was fully upright. I was also kind of afraid I would become narcoleptic and hit my head on something if I fell asleep.
Jed didn’t say anything, but narrowed his eyes and nodded at Dean. Kenzie carried the bag with all of my belongings and hopped in the front seat with Jed.
I was in and out of consciousness, but I remember Dean putting the seatbelt around me even though I was lying with my head on his leg. One of his hands was tangled in my hair, and the other was trailing a soothing path down my arm. I remember wondering why he would do that, but my brain didn’t let me think for too long before it decided to shut off again.
It was as if nothing had ever been that peaceful, and even though the motion of the car was making me feel nauseous, I just wanted to stay right there.
The embarrassing part happened when Dean carried me inside to the guest room that had become my temporary abode, and Kenzie put my clothes away in the drawers. They hadn’t even been in there before. I wanted to stop her and tell her I wasn’t staying long, but I didn’t know how to confront them like that. Or how to talk at all, really.
Because of the low, sloping angle of the ceiling, Dean had to duck when we reached the bed. Why was the ceiling like that anyway? I put my hand out to steady myself and it brushed his cheek. It felt like sandpaper.
“I’m going to stay for a while, okay?” Kenzie said soothingly, interrupting my momentary Dean observation.
“Love you Kenz,” I said with my eyes closed. I was so grateful to have her back.
She squeezed my hand.
“Love you too, L.” She walked out of the room, leaving me with my uncle and the man to whom I was feeling strangely attached to.
I heard Jed clear his throat.
“I guess I should go,” Dean whispered.
I thought I had imagined it.
I opened my eyes and saw Dean standing a few feet away, with Jed leaning against the doorframe. He must have been really mad, because he hadn’t said a word that I could remember since I’d awoken.
Great.
Jed nodded at Dean, his mouth still set in a grim line.
Dean put his hands in his pockets and smiled at me as he started for the door. Even in my stupor I could tell it was a sad smile, and I started to panic. He couldn’t leave. He was the one who had kept me alive when I was stupid and got us stuck in an avalanche. It made me realize I was having strange separation anxiety. I also couldn’t remember most of what happened in that frigid, dark room, but I did remember what happened before it. Suddenly, it didn’t matter. I didn’t feel right not having him there.
I shot up in bed and my head felt like it was going to fall off.
“No!” I screamed a little too loudly.
Dean turned around and took a few quick steps toward me as if he’d forgotten Jed’s judging glare. Then he slowed himself down and glanced back, putting his hands back in his pockets.
He leaned down and looked straight into my eyes. I swear I’ve never seen so deeply into a person’s soul as I did in that moment. Or maybe it was just the drugs. Either way, it calmed me down.
“I’ll be back soon, I promise,” he said earnestly, as if he knew I needed to hear it.
“Okay,” I said much more placidly. I tried to keep myself from showing visible signs of how upset I was, because propriety kicked in and I realized that I must look like a total idiot because I was suddenly obsessed with a guy that I barely knew.
He smiled again, more warmly this time. Then he nodded at Jed and exited the room.
“Get some sleep,” Jed said sternly as he turned off the light, leaving me alone in the darkness.
I shut my eyes and wished for any oblivion that didn’t include those geometric clouds. I didn’t want to be awake. I was mad at Jed for making Dean leave. Shouldn’t Jed be happy that he basically saved my life? My anger didn’t last long, because head began to throb, and I fell asleep once more.
“Hey,” I felt a cool cloth on my forehead.
I opened my eyes and squinted to see Kenzie placing a cup of tea on the dresser beside me.
“Feeling any better?” she sat next to me on the edge of the bed.
She looked like an angel with her blonde hair so perfectly curled. How was she so pretty all the time?
I nodded and sat up.
“What time is it?”
She looked at her watch.
“A little after eight. You’ve been asleep since we brought you home yesterday afternoon, I was beginning to think they gave you a whole lot more anesthetic than they said they did.”
I groaned, remembering how I had acted at the hospital, and then my panic attack when Dean was leaving.
“Oh god, I can’t believe I did that,” I said, pulling the covers up over my head in defeat.
She laughed.
“It was pretty funny,” she said lightly. “At least we knew you were okay. You should have seen yourself when they brought you in.” Her mouth was set in a grim line now. “It looked really bad.”
I bit my lip. “It felt pretty bad, from what I remember.”
Kenzie turned her own mug over in her hands, as if she had suddenly gotten nervous.
“Lauren, you should have seen him when you guys came in. I haven’t seen him like this in a really long time. The way he looks at you…”
I pulled the blankets up further and groaned.
Oh my god, this was so embarrassing.
“Sorry,” she said. “I shouldn’t have said anything. Do you want anything to eat? I made pasta for the kids earlier, I can bring you a bowl.”
Those kids needed to stop eating so many carbs.
I sighed and sat up again, more slowly this time.
“I think I’ll come ea
t in the kitchen, I’m tired of being in beds.” She helped me get my balance and opened the door. The light from the other rooms streamed in, and I couldn’t help but wonder exactly how long I’d been out after the accident.
I sat on one of the bar stools while Kenzie heated up the pasta she had made earlier. The TV was on and Chase was playing some kind of video game, but he didn’t acknowledge us.
“Kenz,” I said after a while. “What were you going to say?”
Curiosity was going to kill me. I had to know.
“When?” she asked, looking genuinely confused. I bit my lip, and her eyes lit up with sudden realization. A slow smile crept across her face, and she looked down as if she were remembering something.
“Don’t be mad,” she said tentatively. “But the way he looks at you reminds me of the way Luke looks at me.”
I nearly choked on my penne. I was obviously still delusional.
“Dean Powell. Right. Isn’t he some kind of legendary man-whore though?”
She laughed lightly.
“Well, he kind of was. But I don’t think that’s still the case. People can change, right?”
I was about to protest when I suddenly saw Emma bouncing down the hallway running straight for me.
“Elle!” she shouted happily, and I guessed that was the nickname she had come up with. I was amazed that she even remembered my name. She came right up next to me and hugged my side.
“I missed you! Dean was here and he said you were really, really sleepy but he said you would come out when you were feeling better but I thought you would never come out!” She looked exasperated and out of breath by the time she finished her sentence.
“I’m feeling better now, don’t worry,” I told her as I stroked her hair.
“Good, because I was really sad.” She genuinely looked it, and my heart broke a little bit more. First these kids lost their mom, and then they had to deal with all of my stupid drama, all because I got a little bit possessive when I found Dean in the steam room with Stacia.
Oh god. Seriously? I sounded ridiculous. I literally found him with someone else when I didn’t even know him, and we both almost died because I overreacted. I was an idiot. Now Kenzie was saying he looked at me in a certain way. Clearly I’d hit my head a little bit harder than I thought.
Emma climbed up and sat next to me and stayed there watching me eat. Kenzie stood leaning against the cabinets, typing something into her phone. I hadn’t even checked mine. To think of it, I didn’t even know where it was.
“Kenzie,” I asked her. “Did my brother call at all? Did someone tell him what happened?”
I expected Tucker to be concerned. My mom? She’d just say I’d get over it. She was my mom, but she wasn’t very emotionally available as a parent.
She nodded. “When Jed called him, he tried to fly out here. Except then Jed convinced him not to because he’s in the middle of soccer tournament finals or something, I think.”
I sighed in relief. I missed him, but I was glad he hadn’t disrupted his life like that. I made a mental note to call him when I found my phone. Why did I have such a problem with phones?
The doorbell rang, startling me. Did it ever stop?
Emma laughed. “Wait, I want to get it!” she clapped her hands happily and climbed down from the chair and took off running towards the door.
“Wait for me!” Kenzie yelled, abruptly following her. “Remember, you have to have an adult with you to answer the door!”
I smiled. Kenzie was a natural with kids, and I felt as though I was the exact opposite. Maybe it was because I’d been raised by a mom who didn’t really care what her kids did. She was the exact opposite of nurturing.
I heard the door open, and Emma started squealing. Then I heard a familiar, deep voice. It wasn’t Jed.
I suddenly felt extremely self-conscious. My hair was a mess, I didn’t have any makeup on, and I was still in whatever clothes Kenzie had helped me into at the hospital.
My throat dried up as I heard footsteps, and I heard Kenzie say she would be right back, but that I was in the kitchen.
“Come on, Emma girl.” His voice carried down the hallway.
I was frozen to my seat. What was I supposed to do? All of my inhibitions had come back when the medicine wore off, and I felt like a complete idiot for how I had acted.
The second our eyes met, I knew something had changed. Kenzie was right. He looked at me like he could see into my very soul, and I felt as if I couldn’t breathe. It reminded me too much of something I couldn’t put my finger on.
He set Emma down and came closer.
“Hey,” I said awkwardly, knowing I looked like a total mess in front of the most beautiful person I’d ever seen.
“Hey yourself,” he said back, smiling. He was nervous too.
That’s when I knew I was in trouble.
HE WAS WEARING glasses. Who was he, Clark Kent? No one looked this good all the time. It just wasn’t possible.
Emma was climbing up the stool next to me again. Dean and I were still staring awkwardly at each other as Emma played with my hair.
Kenzie appeared in the hallway and leaned against the wall casually.
“Hey Emma, can you say goodnight to Dean and Lauren, please?”
Emma looked at me, completely horrified.
“But I want to stay up! Elle hasn’t been awake for a long time!” she protested, stomping her foot on the ground. She said my nickname like the first letter of my name, and I found it completely adorable.
“Yes, but you have a long day tomorrow, sweetie,” Kenzie came over to pick her up. “Now say goodnight, okay?”
Emma crossed her arms and pouted but didn’t struggle any more than she already had. Kenzie brought her over to me first, and I gave her a little half hug and stroked her hair. She smiled even bigger when Kenzie walked over to Dean, who tapped her on the nose in their usual greeting. Kenzie gave me a look as she walked out of the room, and I could have sworn she mouthed “be nice” and jerked her head toward Dean. When was I ever not nice?
Neither of us said anything for a moment, and I realized I was being completely rude by eating in front of him.
“Are you hungry?” I asked, pushing my bar stool back so quickly that it almost fell over. “I guess Kenzie made it. I haven’t eaten in who knows how long.”
He nodded.
“Sure.”
He walked over to the cabinet and pulled a bowl down. Right. He knew where everything was in this house and I still didn’t. I felt like an idiot.
He stood across from me as we ate, and neither of us said anything once again. It was a comfortable silence, but I felt the tension in the air even more than I ever had.
“So,” I asked tentatively, swirling the rest of my pasta around in my bowl. I wasn’t really that hungry even though I felt like I should eat something. “What happened?”
He sighed.
“Long story short, you passed out. Eventually, Jed figured out where we were and had this huge team dig us out. You weren’t doing well, and they thought you had bleeding in your brain when they took us in. Luckily, you were fine, but they still wanted to keep you for observation since we were trapped for three days.”
“Three days?” I gasped. “We were down there for three days?”
He nodded and took a bite of pasta.
I put my head in my hands.
“I am so, so sorry,” I said, feeling guilty that I put him through all of that just because I freaked out when I saw him with Stacia. “I had no right to react like that.”
He smiled weakly. “Hey, we made it. No harm done.”
How was he being so calm about it?
“I just feel awful,” I said, groaning. “I owe you. Big time.”
His smile got bigger, as did my guilt complex.
“No you don’t. But if you really feel compelled to make good on that debt, I’m sure I can come up with something.”
I gave him a look and he laughed. “Not like that. Keep
your mind out of the gutter, there are children here.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. I knew he went to the gutter before I did.
Kenzie walked back in the room, holding two phones. She placed one on the counter by me, and held up the other one.
“Luke’s here to pick me up, do you think You’ll be okay tonight?” She looked concerned.
I swallowed my bite and got up to hug her.
“Of course,” I told her. “Thank you so much for staying as long as you did. I doubt Emma will listen once you leave, though.”
She bit her lip and looked at Dean.
“I’m pretty sure all you have to do is mention him and she’ll do whatever you tell her.”
We all laughed. It was true. Emma was Dean’s number one fan, and she had a lot of older competitors.
“Bye Dean,” Kenzie said, giving him a light hug. He thanked her for staying with me, and I walked her to the door.
“Please promise me You’ll stop overthinking everything,” she whispered.
I sighed. She was right. But I wasn’t staying permanently, so it wouldn’t be an issue. He had just saved my life, even though I was sure it was out of necessity.
“Love you. Thanks again,” I said, hugging her tightly.
“Love you too. You know my number if you need anything.”
She grabbed her coat and bounced out the door into the cold, and then waved as she got into Luke’s car. I watched them drive away, then shut the door and stood there for a minute before I went back into the kitchen. I didn’t know how to deal with Dean alone.
He stood casually as he washed the dishes, as if he belonged there. He smiled at me when I walked in, and I swore he was a different person when he was with me than he was anywhere else. The guy from the ski trip wasn’t the same one who didn’t talk to me during said trip. I didn’t know if it was because of what happened in the staff maintenance lodge to change that, or if it was something else.
He dried his hands on the dish towel and came to stand in front of me.
“Are you still tired?”
I shrugged. “Not really. I feel like I’ve slept enough for this week.”
He smiled.
“Wanna watch a movie?”
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