I looked at Dean. This was so much more complicated than I thought it would be.
I THINK WE went on every single ride in Disneyland. We waited in countless lines, went to the bathrooms in every land as per Emma’s request, and Chase even got a picture with Prince Phillip because he said he wanted to be him when he grew up. At one point we lost Callie again, but found her hitting on Aladdin.
“If I were a prince, who would I be?” Dean asked Emma, who was on his shoulders.
“Um,” she looked up, deep in thought. “Prince Eric.”
She drew it out so the r’s sounded like w’s.
He laughed.
“Why do you say that?”
She pulled on his hair.
“Because Lauren is Ariel and you love Lauren just like Eric loves Ariel.”
Jenny burst out laughing, but Callie didn’t look up from her phone.
Neither Dean nor I had a witty reply to that, but I think we all knew love was a strong word. Like was enough for now.
When we got to the restaurant, Dean went to talk to the hostess, leaving me with the brooding hoard of children.
Emma was cranky because she was so hungry, and Callie was just cranky. What was new?
Dean returned a few seconds later.
“This way,” the hostess said. I looked around at all of the people who had been waiting when we got there, but assumed this was more Dean-induced magic. It was like he was a celebrity.
The restaurant was actually inside the Pirates of the Caribbean ride, complete with mist, fake twinkling stars, and croaking frogs in the bayou. We were seated near the edge so we could even see the boats go by.
“We went on that!” Emma said loudly, pointing to the boats.
“We did! And you touched everything,” I trailed off, and I unfolded my menu. I had made her wash her hands multiple times after that so we didn’t all get sick.
Dean laughed at me from behind his own menu.
Everyone ordered off of the kids menu because that looked far more delicious. Dean got a bowl of clam chowder and insisted that I try it.
“When in the bayou, get clam chowder,” he reasoned.
We were in California, not exactly the bayou, but I humored him anyway.
It was clear that the waiter thought that Emma was our child, but that didn’t stop him from paying special attention to me. I wasn’t into it, but at last the tables were turned and I got to watch Dean squirm uncomfortably in his seat.
“Why does this keep happening?” I asked rhetorically as soon as he brought us our check.
“Because,” Callie said, completely deadpan. “You guys are weird together.”
“Oh shut up,” Jenny cut in. “I think it’s cute. Emma isn’t crying all the time, and Dean isn’t being a man-whore. It’s nice.”
Dean narrowed his eyes at her, but I could tell he knew it was partly true.
I wasn’t sure what to feel. It was true that he hadn’t flirted with anyone other than me whenever I’d seen him, but I wasn’t with him all the time. I knew he had a past, but I didn’t like to think about it.
We all sat there in awkward silence. Dean put cash on the table and pulled my chair out.
“Come on,” he said looking straight at me with sad eyes. “Let’s go see the fireworks.”
They were absolutely breathtaking. Disney sure knows how to pull at all of your heartstrings. Even Callie seemed moved by the music and the lights together.
Emma was back on Dean’s shoulders so she could see over the crowd, and I was standing in front of Dean. I shivered and brushed my hands over my arms to try to warm myself up, thinking I should have brought a jacket for when it got cold at night.
Dean noticed and stepped forward from behind me. I was warmer instantly. Somehow, it didn’t feel awkward. I reached back with both of my hands and took his. They twined into mine, and I leaned back into him as I looked back up at the fireworks.
I had never felt so at home in my entire life.
I couldn’t help but cry. This couldn’t be real. Somehow, all of the Disney lights and music were getting to me.
He felt me shaking and released my hands to turn me around.
He leaned down and lightly wiped the tears from my eyes.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I said softly, and I knew he probably couldn’t hear me over the music and fireworks.
He leaned down and kissed my forehead, lightly dislodging Emma in the process. Thankfully, she didn’t notice since she was too enthralled with the lights. My forehead burned from where his lips touched my skin, and I gripped his hands even tighter.
I sniffled and turned back around, leaning on him once again. This time he reached forward and took my hands, and I’ve never loved fireworks so much.
I was in a daze as we walked back to the hotel. Dean carried Emma, and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a little bit upset when he let go of my hands to lift her down from his shoulders.
Callie and Jenny chatted behind us, and Chase was following the map GPS on his iPad.
I glanced over at Dean and he smiled back.
I remembered being at Disneyland once before with my dad when I was little. My mom was there too, but I don’t remember that. I just remember him. I kept telling him that I felt like none of it was real, and I felt exactly the same way now. As if I was walking around in a dreamland that wasn’t really my life. Would this all last when we went home? Would it even last until morning?
I opened the door to the girls room and Jenny and Callie filed in. I took a sleeping Emma from Dean.
“Don’t make out for too long,” Callie whispered under her breath as she passed us.
I sighed. I hadn’t even kissed him yet.
I reeled at the thought. Oh god. I thought there would be a yet.
“Night, Lindsay,” he said casually, using my last name like a guy would.
“Night Dean,” I said shakily. I couldn’t decide if I was glad Emma was between us or not.
As I walked through the doorway and let the door shut behind me, I took a deep breath and decided not.
AT SOME POINT in the middle of the night, I woke up to my stomach gurgling. I sat up and immediately regretted it. My entire body felt wrong, and my head was spinning.
Oh no.
I ran for the bathroom and immediately threw up everything I’d eaten for dinner. No, no, no. This was horrible.
When it seemed like it had passed, I sat up and put my shaking hand on my clammy forehead. Throwing up was probably my least favorite activity in the entire world.
“Gross!” Callie shrieked from the bathroom doorway, squinting at the light.
I rolled my eyes. I couldn’t deal with her right now.
I shut the toilet lid and rested my head on it.
Someone was knocking at the door and I hoped Callie would get it. I couldn’t move.
I peeked out from under my arm when I heard a familiar voice.
Chase was standing in the doorway looking sleepy.
“Dean needs Lauren,” he said. “Can I sleep in here?”
Callie nodded and they walked out of my view.
I fell asleep for a second, and woke when Jenny shook my arm.
“Here,” she said. “I brought you water.”
I shook my head.
“I can’t,” I rasped.
“Okay,” she said, putting the cup down. “I’m going to help you go over to his room, okay?”
Oh my god. No. No, no, no.
He could not see me like this. This was not the time for things to get interesting. I tried to protest, but no one was having any of it. They supported me the three feet that it took to get to his door, which was left open slightly.
I was expecting to see him somewhere in the room, but instead heard him to my left.
“Not you too,” he said softly.
He was sitting on the floor of the bathroom. This could not be happening.
Jenny helped me sit down in the doorway of the bathroom, and I rested again
st the doorframe.
“Call us if you need anything,” she said sympathetically. Callie was already out the door.
Traitors. I couldn’t believe they would just leave two people with food poisoning here to die like this.
“What happened?” I asked when I felt like the world stopped spinning.
“Clam chowder.”
I would never eat clam chowder again for as long as I lived.
“This is so awful,” I said, starting to cry.
He moved on his knees toward me.
“Shhh,” he said, putting his hands on my face. “We’re going to be okay.”
Tears were falling down my face and he was wiping them away for the second time tonight.
Somehow, I was being lifted up. My head was spinning again and he set me on one of the beds.
How did he manage that? I felt like I was going to die at any second.
He tried to pull the sheets around me, but I refused. I didn’t want to be constricted in case I had to get up quickly again. I prayed I wouldn’t have to throw up again because I didn’t know if I could deal with that kind of mortification in front of him.
Dean fell onto the other bed and groaned.
“I’m so sorry I made you try it,” he said. “This is hell.”
“It’s okay,” I whispered. Then I did my best to fall asleep.
I wasn’t sure how much later it was when I realized I was shivering. It was still dark outside. My entire body was shaking and I couldn’t get warm.
“Dean,” I whispered, unable to move.
Nothing.
“Dean,” I said, a little louder. Did I even make a sound?
I heard movement, and then I felt him next to me.
“I’m so cold,” I said, my eyes still shut.
“Me too,” he whispered.
His arms came around me and I was warmer instantly. I put one of my legs in between his and shivered for a couple more minutes until I was warm.
“Is this okay?” he asked, sounding as though he was already falling back asleep. I nodded into his chest.
The light streaming through the curtains was not my friend.
I had to make one more trip to the bathroom that morning, and I still felt as if I’d been hit by a truck. No rides for me today.
We made Jenny and Callie swear to call us every half hour and Jenny promised profusely that Emma and Chase would not leave her sight. They’d better not.
“Why did this happen to us?” I asked, groaning. I flopped onto the bed next to him.
“I don’t know,” he said, turning to face me. “But it’s the only time I’ve ever been excited about food poisoning.”
He leaned closer and I pushed him away.
“I literally just threw up,” I informed him gracefully.
“I literally don’t care,” he said, pulling me against his chest.
The world was still spinning, but less so.
My phone rang and I reached over him to grab it.
“Hello?” I knew I didn’t sound like myself.
“Lauren?” It was Kenzie.
“Mhmmm,” I shut my eyes.
“Where are you?”
“I’m in California,” I said softly.
Dean groaned as he turned over to pick up his own phone, which was Jenny checking in, no doubt.
Kenzie heard his voice through the phone and squealed.
“Oh my god. You’re with him, aren’t you? You sound groggy. Are you guys…”
I cut her off.
“Happy New Year’s Kenz, love you.”
I hung up before she could say anything else.
“Are they good?” I asked, setting my phone down to face him.
He nodded, his eyes still shut.
“I’m so sorry,” he said again. He’d been apologizing all night.
I shook my head slightly.
“How were you supposed to know?”
“Still,” he said softly.
“It’s okay,” I told him.
And somehow, it was.
We slept for most of the day until Chase and Emma were tired. Callie and Jenny were allowed to go watch the fireworks since it was New Year’s Eve, but only if they were back by five minutes past midnight.
With Emma and Chase asleep in the bed next to ours, we counted down the seconds until midnight. At one point he turned on the TV, but I couldn’t deal with Ryan Seacrest’s voice without wanting to throw up again.
When we heard the fireworks start, he leaned over and kissed my forehead. I kissed his cheek.
“Happy New Year,” I whispered. “I’m sorry it’s kind of shitty.”
He brushed my hair out of my face.
“This is the best New Year’s I’ve ever had,” he said, sounding like he was genuinely telling the truth.
He must have had some pretty bad ones, then.
Ten minutes later, Callie and Jenny came bursting into the room. I opened my eyes, squinting at the light.
“Um,” I heard Callie say. “Does this make anyone else uncomfortable?”
I knew she was referring to the way we were sleeping, but I could care less.
“We’re cold,” I said, burrowing closer to him.
Then Dean added, “Go away.”
Jenny laughed and pulled the blanket further up over us. I heard Callie scoff, and then the door slammed, which made both of us jump.
“Happy New Year’s,” Jenny whispered as she slipped out the door.
“THIS IS SO awkward.”
“Shut up, they’ll wake up soon. I hope. At least before Chase gets out of the shower. I don’t want to have to explain more than I already did. Chase makes a big deal out of anything remotely sexual because he’s a boy.”
“And you don’t think that’s going to be weird when they wake up? Because it totally will be.”
“Yeah, I guess it is. Before I never had to see any his man-whoring, I just heard about it.”
My eyes were still shut but I heard voices. I knew it wasn’t dark out anymore, but I couldn’t bring myself to open my eyes and experience the full assault of light that was now streaming in through the windows.
I heard another voice. “I’m hungry.”
My eyes shot open.
I didn’t dare move, because I subconsciously knew what was going on, and I didn’t want to move him. I realized how insanely hot I was. My fever had obviously broken, and I guessed Dean’s had too by the sheen of sweat that was all over both of us.
This definitely looked worse than it was. Somehow he had shucked his shirt overnight. I peeked down to make sure I was clothed.
Okay, that was a good sign.
The problem was that we were so tangled up that I literally had no idea where my body ended and his started. I was never going to get up without waking him.
I sighed softly, unsure of what to do next. No one had realized I was awake yet.
“Emma, no!” I heard Jenny’s voice, and then I felt Emma hit the bed.
Her movement startled me, and Dean reacted involuntarily by tightening his grasp. Seconds later, he woke up and had the same moment of confusion I did.
“Dean’s naked!” Emma squealed.
“Okay, thanks Emma,” Jenny said, lifting her off of us.
“He definitely has pants on,” I muttered, separating myself from him with less grace than I had hoped for.
“Thanks for the report,” Callie said sarcastically.
I couldn’t deal with her right now.
His hair was sticking up in all different places and I couldn’t help but laugh. Even like that, he was still breathtaking. I wished I was as immune to his charms as I let on when I first met him.
He was looking at me strangely, and if I didn’t know better, I would think he was checking me out. He nodded slightly, and I looked down. I wasn’t wearing my shirt. I was wearing the one he’d had on. I had no idea where my shirt was.
I didn’t say anything, and neither did he, mostly because we both knew that would make it worse for J
enny and Callie. I also wasn’t exactly sure how it had happened, and I wasn’t ready to face that yet.
We both showered in our respective bathrooms. I for one was just grateful to be a normal temperature and be able to stand without falling over or throwing up. Health was never appreciated until sickness struck, my dad always said. That statement had never been more true.
All of us repacked our bags and headed to the airport. No one said much of anything. I think Chase was still semi-scarred by the fact that he saw us sleeping in the same bed, and he was in that weird, adolescent-boy stage.
Dean didn’t try to hold my hand or anything at the airport as I expected he would, and avoided saying anything to me if it wasn’t absolutely necessary. I was starting to feel much more awkward about the past two days than I had before solely because clearly he felt strangely about it.
We all piled back into the Range Rover and he drove us home.
“Can we all pretend like this didn’t happen?” Jenny said, interrupting the silence.
“Which part?” I asked, when no one else said anything.
“Not the trip,” she said quickly for Dean’s benefit. “Just this whole awkward thing? I’m cool if you guys are together. I would actually like to thank you, Lauren, for turning Dean into a respectable human being.”
Callie gave her a look to that said she’d gone too far. I wasn’t entirely sure what to say.
“Thanks, Jenny.” Dean said, giving her a “we’ll talk when we get home” kind of look in the mirror.
I hated this. Whatever happened to him more than liking me? He was acting like that conversation never happened. Or, you know, the whole sleeping-in-the-same-bed-wrapped-up-in-each-other-for-two-days, thing.
When we arrived at the house, he got out and helped us take our bags inside. Then he said a curt goodbye, and he and Jenny drove off like we’d never been on a trip to start with.
The four of us stood in the kitchen, looking around.
“That was weird,” Chase said, stating the obvious.
“I knew this would happen,” Callie said.
“You knew what would happen?” I challenged her.
“That you would fall in love with Dean and he would break your heart. I know you’re new around here and all, but newsflash: that’s what he does. No one gets to be with him and then keep him afterwards. He has the emotional range of a teaspoon.”
I scoffed and leaned forward to grab her wrist as I led her out of the room.
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