by Sue Wallman
Help me, I plead silently.
There’s no one in reception. The hard tiles beneath my canvas shoes are cold.
Jenna must have known about the time differences. Everyone who worked on reception taking phone calls must have because they were dealing with the outside world. How much was their silence worth? Did they think they were doing the right thing – helping Hunter with his research? Who else knew? Who guessed something wasn’t quite right and turned a blind eye?
The guard pushes me into the elevator and the confined space freaks me out. A mini solitary room.
The doors open to more silence, and then I see Abigail leaning against a window. Her face is teary-red.
“Do you realize what you’ve done?” she spits at me. “Hunter’s been under a lot of stress recently and you’ve tipped him over the edge.”
We keep walking. The guard swipes me through the glass door. Admin is empty. Normally there should be a dozen people working at the desks. I spot Hunter crouched over a computer screen in the far corner, the area where the most senior admin staff sit.
The guard coughs loudly. “Dr Ballard,” he says. “I have Mae for you, sir.”
Hunter turns. His eyes are hard and wild. I take a step back and hear the click of the glass entry door, which tells me I’m on my own now with him.
“You little bitch,” he says, standing up and coming towards me. He points at the chair nearest me.
I sit. Upright and trembling.
“Mae, don’t insult me by denying things I know to be true. Noah confessed to bringing in the tablet under the noses of security.”
He didn’t betray Will.
Hunter continues, “You used Creek wifi, so I have a complete record of your searches.”
There’s a lightness in my body, as if I’ve become insubstantial. Less of who I was.
“I have a number of questions for you, but let’s start with this one,” he says. His voice is ice. “I see you searched HB. Who told you about it?”
My head is on fire. Should I pretend to know more about HB than I do, or should I say nothing at all until he guarantees not to punish Noah and Thet?
“I read my medical records on your laptop,” I say finally. There’s satisfaction in seeing the incredulity on his face. He can’t believe it was his own security breach that allowed me access. “So I also know you’re not my father.” The sensation of throwing words like sharpened arrows is exhilarating.
Hunter blinks. He recovers quickly. “I gave you a life that has been infinitely better than it would have been otherwise. I’ve given you so much and have had such little gratitude in return.”
My heart is bruised from thumping so hard. “You can keep me for your data purposes but let Noah and Thet go home. They’ve done nothing.”
“I have to disagree with you there,” says Hunter. He sighs. “I think they know more than they should.”
“All they know is that people are starting to ask questions about the vitamins.”
I’ve hit a nerve. I keep going.
“They want to know why Austin died. It was the HB, wasn’t it?”
Hunter frowns. “By helping with my research he finally did something useful with his life.” He steps towards me and I shrink from him. His voice is calm and controlled, but I can see the anger pulsing in a vein in his neck. “You’ve become a liability, Mae.”
“Ms Ray spoke to the police before we came here. They’re on their way.” I gabble, clutching at anything that might prevent what he’s about to do to me.
“Oh, Mae, you are so naïve. The police are used to us having a spot of trouble with our more difficult patients. We have an excellent relationship with them, and they’re always very understanding.” He laughs. A false, high, mocking laugh. “It was so foolish of Steffi Ray to call the police. She’ll never get a decent job again after an abduction charge.”
“No!” I stand up but he uses just one finger to push me back down on to the chair.
“Noah’s parents have been informed that his paranoia has worsened and he’s come up with all sorts of conspiracy theories about the Creek. Very disappointing. It’s best if he stays for a much longer period, and we can negotiate new payment terms if that’s a problem. We do have access to funds through Everleigh’s charity. They’re aware he’s in solitary confinement for his own good.”
“You—” I say. You can’t do that. But I realize he’s prepared to do whatever it takes.
“And Thet. Well, her loyalty to you is a problem. Her grandmother will understand if I tell her that Thet’s had a major relapse and won’t be able to start her new school. She can stay here until I find a suitable place for her too. That leaves me with you. Of course nobody is indispensable.”
I can’t swallow. Can’t talk. My head’s almost lopsided with heaviness. I’m no match for Hunter. There’s nothing I can do.
Hunter picks up a phone receiver and presses a button. “Earl? Come on up. I want her moved to the medical suite. Now.”
THIRTY-SIX
I half-stumble, and am half-dragged by Earl to the elevator. The ground floor is still empty.
No police. Nobody apart from a security guard who stands near the front desk of the medical suite speaking into his radio. As we pass I hear him snap, “The location where you found her watch is irrelevant. Check the grounds, inch by inch. She can’t have vanished into thin air.”
In that instant, I think I know where Thet is: on the roof of the security building, even though she’d been afraid of climbing the ladder. I picture her. Scrunched up. Maybe tapping her arm.
Stay there, Thet.
Raoul is at the desk. He nods at me, and says, “I’m disappointed in you, little lady. I’ll take your health stats before solitary but first I must talk to your father.”
I sit in the waiting area with the security guard watching over me while Raoul speaks in hushed tones with Hunter and Earl. I hear Noah’s name. Snatches of psychiatric terms.
Hunter is tapping a syringe against his hand as he speaks, like someone else might do with a pen. How easily he gets what he wants. His charm ensures most parents, patients and staff are taken in by him. His willingness to be ruthless, and his access to money to pay people off, have been invaluable.
Breathing hurts. There’s too much pressure in my chest. Noah is behind the padded door in solitary, only a few paces away. His life is in danger, and he was only ever helping me. To calm myself, I feel in my pocket for my pen. I rub my thumb against the raised golden dragon on the barrel.
I could make a run for it, but I’d be caught by the security guard in seconds. Sedated immediately. I don’t know what’s in that syringe Hunter has, but it’s bound to be heavy-duty. Or lethal.
“Right,” says Hunter. He’s winding up the conversation. “Mae is all yours, Raoul. Into solitary after health stats. Earl, let’s have a word with Karl. We’ll get our story straight with him in case the police decide to make an appearance.” He tells the security guard to patrol the corridors, then strides into Karl’s office and Earl follows.
I let Raoul take my blood in the treatment room, hardly flinching when he jabs me hard. I hold the pad of cotton wool against my arm afterwards and stare at the ridge of bruising he’s caused. I say nothing while he takes my watch and downloads the health statistics. When he hands it back, it’s him who breaks the silence and says, “I thought you were a person with peace and gratitude in your heart. Why did you cause so much trouble for your father?”
I look at the photo of the young boy by the silver laptop. Raoul’s little brother.
Act young. Act the little lady.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I asked Noah for the iPad because I wanted proper access to the internet. So I could keep in touch with him.”
Raoul rolls his eyes. He might be buying it.
“It’s kind of embarrassing,” I say. “My dad doesn’t think I’m old enough to have a boyfriend.” I bite my lip theatrically. “Noah’s given me his email and everything
.”
“Dr Ballard is correct. You are too young,” says Raoul. “Right. Let’s go.”
“Please, Raoul. I’d like to say goodbye to Noah – can I? Just for a minute?”
”You cannot wrap me round your finger, little lady.” His face is grim as he takes me by the arm.
I’m coming undone at the thought of solitary, but the pain of never seeing Noah again and him never knowing how sorry I am overrides everything. “Please, Raoul. One minute with Noah. That’s all. Do it for me.”
He grips my arm more tightly. “I have only contempt for you,” he hisses as he unbolts the door of the second solitary room.
With my free hand, I feel for my pen and unscrew the cap. I have nothing to lose. With all the force that I use to slam a tennis ball during a serve, I plunge the fine steel nib into Raoul’s thigh. As he bellows in pain and clutches his leg, I let go of the pen, push him into the solitary room and bolt the door. There is immediate silence; the room has exemplary sound-proofing. Shaking with the shock of my own violence, I run across to the other solitary room, and I bash my hand as the bolt flies open but it barely registers.
Noah is curled up with his head on his knees, his back to the door. “Piss off,” he says without turning round. “I’ve got nothing else to say.”
“Noah?” I say.
He turns and stands all at once. “Mae!”
We collide halfway across the room in a hug. His arms, my arms, holding on and breathing in, heads touching. Knowing, although I can’t see his face, that he’s choking back tears too.
“I’m sorry,” I say softly.
Noah pulls away to hold my face so that I’m looking into his eyes. Seeing the him that’s really him. “Don’t be sorry,” he says.
My lungs are saturated with sadness. We hold each other tight again and it feels as if I’m drowning, gasping for breath. Somewhere embedded into the ceiling or wall will be a camera and we’ll be on a monitor in the security building. “We have to go,” I manage to say.
We only make it a few paces into the waiting area before we hear the security guard yell for assistance, and see him run towards the gap between the front desk and the wall to block our escape.
The door to Karl’s office flies open.
“What’s going on?” Hunter’s voice is high-pitched in disbelief. In his hand is the long syringe. Karl and Earl are behind him. “Where’s Raoul?”
There’s the sound of an argument outside. Shouting.
I seize the moment to push Noah against the wall and stand, shield-like, in front of him.
“Let Noah go home,” I say in a tight voice. I’ll need to be unconscious before he’s dragged from me. I imagine that long needle piercing my skin with a concentrated, painful searing sting. The spinning of the walls, the fuzzing of my resolve and strength. I picture myself biting Hunter. Kicking him in the groin. Scratching his face until my fingers have no more power.
I hear Will screaming about justice. All at once, a crowd of patients surges through the automatic doors, some of them kids who hate crowds or loud noise. A few are crying, but most, like Piper, are chanting about wanting the truth.
“What happened to lockdown?” asks Hunter, turning to Earl. “Where’s Raoul?” he repeats.
Will comes to stand next to us. He holds a golf club in front of him, as a barrier. He must have broken into the sports equipment room. Other patients stream in. Mick and Abigail are at the back, telling everyone to go back to Larkspur immediately.
“We want answers!” shouts Will.
Earl moves towards him, but Hunter places a politely restraining arm against him. “Let me deal with this,” he murmurs. There’s a hush when Hunter puts his hands up in the air. The syringe is like an extra finger on one hand. “Listen up! Everyone needs to calm down. There have been ridiculous rumours going round, and there is only one thing you need to know. Mae, Noah and Thet have caused a massive breach of security which has compromised us all. You have to trust me and Dr Jesmond to sort it out.”
“He’s been testing a drug on us,” I shout into his self-satisfied pause.
Angry noise erupts, then dies down again when Will speaks. “Was that the drug you gave Austin?” he asks.
“We offer highly professional bespoke treatment here,” says Hunter smoothly. “I can’t discuss individual cases.” He thinks he’s got this.
“It’s called HB,” I shout. “We’re all on different doses.”
“She’s delusional, I’m afraid,” says Hunter. Although I can’t see it from here, I bet the vein on the side of his neck is pulsating like crazy. “We’ve been doing important research on sleep. Unfortunately, it’s not quite ready yet to be talked about openly. It’s certainly nothing to be worried about.”
“So we’re your lab rats, are we?” asks Piper angrily.
“Seems you’ve been working out all sorts of things,” says Noah in a loud, clear voice. “Like how much food someone needs to eat for your drug to work properly. Anorexics are ideal for that, aren’t they? You’ve been testing our limits. And Austin—”
“What did you do to Austin?” shouts Will.
“Let Mick and Abigail through please,” says Hunter. “They’ll help everyone get back to Larkspur.”
The crowd doesn’t move. Earl mutters into his radio, then says, “Why isn’t my radio working? Anyone know why my radio isn’t working?”
“They gave Austin too much HB,” I say.
Hunter’s face is taut with rage. “Austin was a very troubled young man and he didn’t cope well with the regime we gave him. Will, you’re being overemotional. You’re seeking some sort of misplaced revenge for a boy you think you loved. You’re acting out a grotesque leadership fantasy, believing you’re helping others when really you are setting back your own recovery.”
“Maybe you don’t understand,” says Will, “how tightly some of us bond here. The other patients here are my family.”
His words trigger something in me. I let go of Noah’s hand and I unstrap my watch. As if I’m demonstrating an arm movement in an exercise class, I raise my hand high. Unfurling my fingers, I drop it. It hits the hard floor and bounces off at a strange angle. Noah’s eyes flash conspiratorially and he unstraps his own watch. As he lifts his arm, as deliberately as I did, other patients copy. Watches clunk on to the floor like a shower of huge hailstones.
“That’s enough!” shouts Hunter. He moves fast, pushing aside terrified patients, but I’m fast too, and strong, thanks to HB. As he attempts to force the needle into my upper arm, I grab his wrist and turn his arm. He’s already pushing the plunger with his thumb. I jerk his hand forward, pressing down on top of his thumb. And with a bit of help from me, he injects the contents of the syringe into his own neck.
There’s a blood-freezing scream. Choking.
“That dose is too much for him,” Karl shouts.
Hunter is on the floor, his face red and his eyes bulging. He twitches for a couple of seconds before his body goes limp. I think I might vomit.
Some patients flee, others move forward to see what’s happened. Karl repeats over and over that he can’t find Hunter’s pulse. Earl screams down his radio. Abigail’s on her knees. Mick is shouting at the remaining patients to leave the area, and Will begins trashing whatever equipment he can with the golf club.
“Quick,” says Noah. We run fast, with the stamina that’s been built up from hours and hours of physical training, towards the woods near the boot-camp area. There are no fully formed thoughts in my head, only words. Hide. Secluded. Escape. Hunter. Killed. Perimeter fence. Security guards busy. Across fields. Run. Run. Run. Freedom.
We run without talking and then Noah stops. I see what he’s seen a split second before me: two police marksmen on the ground. Guns pointing at us.
Overload of adrenaline. Hands on our heads. Loosening of emotion. Sobs. Sinking to the grass. I throw up.
The police are on their radios, using a frequency which works. There are more of them, moving stealthily tow
ards the main building. One of them asks our names. Asks what we’ve witnessed. Our words trip over themselves.
We’re led along the perimeter fence past the cycle track, the basketball court, the grounds staff office, the schoolhouse and the back of Hibiscus. We see the blue flashing lights of police vehicles. More police. Security staff in handcuffs. A straggle of patients and staff talking and crying about what they’ve seen.
I need to find Thet. Thet and Mom. Thet and Mom and Ms Ray.
“We have a friend,” I tell a policewoman. “A patient. I think she’s hiding on the security building roof. Can I go up there? She trusts me.”
There’s a discussion on the radio. The policewoman asks Noah to give a statement to a colleague while she accompanies me to the roof.
I run to the ladder, and call, “It’s me, Thet. Did you hear the police? You don’t need to hide any more.”
There’s no reply. I scale the ladder, tapping with my nails as I go, and step on to the roof. She’s at the far end. Crouched against the wall, she’s made herself tiny, but the bright pink of her dress is impossible to miss.
“Thet – it’s over.”
She stands up unsteadily, and brushes away the dust from her legs in jerky movements.
The police officer says, “Are you OK?”
Thet nods and walks six steps, then into me, slamming against my heart. I close my arms round her small body. Will’s words come back to me. Maybe you don’t understand how tightly some of us bond here.
I have to wait before I can cross the grass again to Hibiscus to find Mom. I sit among a bewildered group of patients and support staff on the scrubby verge outside the gates, huddled between Noah and Thet. We see a body brought out on a stretcher by paramedics, covered in a red blanket. It’s loaded into an ambulance.
“Hunter,” murmurs Noah, and he squeezes me closer.
Abigail follows, accompanied by a flak-jacketed policeman. She’s distraught. I think of Hunter’s meetings and conferences outside the Creek, the time I hid in Abigail’s car and I overheard her say, Well, if it isn’t my favourite doctor, and how Hunter would always take her side. How he never took much notice of Mom.