Suddenly Mr. Heyman spotted them and started walking toward them.
Katrina wanted to run, but to do that wouldn't help. They should know why he was in town.
Mr. Heyman stopped in front of them. "Ladies." He tipped his hat. His eyes landed on Izzy. "Isabella Donovan, the talk of your beauty does not do you justice." He looked at her openly, up and down, seeing she was dressed in a fashionable but simple and modest dress.
Katrina tried to get past Izzy, but Mabel held her back. If only one of the Starry men were here. They would never let a man do that.
Izzy acted like she wasn't noticing his rudeness. "Mr. Heyman, if you don't have a reason for speaking to us, I would ask you to move."
Mr. Heyman chuckled and met her gaze. "Well, my dear, always to the point. I have business with you. Or I should say, with your brother. He has two of my asylum children. Two girls, a little redhead terror and a tall pretty blond. I want them back."
Katrina gasped. No, this can't be happening. Again she tried to pass Izzy. Mabel held her tighter.
Izzy was calm and said smoothly, "The children have not been in your care in over a year. They have been at Liberty House for that time and so you can't take them back. That is a part of the agreement we came to when we took some asylum children off your hands. Dorothea Dix even signed the agreement, if you remember correctly, so I don't see any other business we have to discuss." Izzy tried to pass him.
Mr. Heyman didn't touch her, but he blocked her way. "I have read the contract, that's why I know they are my girls. They belong in the asylum for being touched in the head." He cleared his throat. "That contract works if they have lived at Liberty House for longer than a year or find parents to sign papers from me." He made a hissing sound like Izzy had been a bad girl. "I came to find out the older one only lived at Liberty House for a few weeks at a time. The terror never did. So I will be in the motel and you can bring the girls later today, Miss Donovan."
Izzy stepped closer, her eyes blazing. Her voice was firm and sure. "You are not getting those children. Part of the contract says we wait for a judge to decide on what to do. So that is what we will do. I will see you in court, Mr. Heyman."
Mr. Heyman glared down at her. "Well, do it the hard way. In the end, I will still win." Before walking away, he winked at her. "See you in court, my dear."
Katrina almost fell back. This couldn't be happening. Izzy didn't turn, just looked off after the man as he walked away. "Izzy, what are our chances?"
Silent, Izzy stayed still. Glancing at Annie then looked off.
Mabel stayed behind her, holding her shoulders, not speaking.
Annie spoke up for the first time, her voice soft and comforting. "Izzy and Cole will get this worked out. They have been to court many times. Oh, everything will be fine, Katrina."
Izzy turned and stared at her twin, but said nothing.
Annie kept at it. "Everything will work out fine, my dear. They have done this in the past. They have got it under control."
Izzy took her anger out on her sister. "Shut up, Annie," she snapped. "We have never been to court. Ever." She groaned. "He is expectin’ a fight. That is what he will get." Her eyes showed determination, but they also showed hopelessness.
Katrina cried out, "No!" She felt hopeless for her girls. Is that what court would be? She promised her girls she would always be there. Would always feed them. Who will feed her babies? Who would care for them like her? She stepped back again. Oh, Lord God, please. My babies, don't let them take my babies. A pain like she couldn't describe hit her. It made her knees feel weak, her head spin. She wondered if her heart stopped beating because she could hardly feel it. For the first time in her life, she felt this kind of despair. Worse than when she found out Ellen was dying. Everything was ending. She was losing everything. Falling to the ground was the last thing she remembered.
Chapter 33
As they were sitting around Andrew’s kitchen table, Annie poured coffee for them all, then she went out to watch the girls.
No one wanted food. All the faces were solemn.
Katrina hadn't slept the night before, just staring off into space, wondering when her girls were being taken. They hadn't told the girls yet they were in danger of being taken away by the courts.
Maverick looked at them. "Hey, we have been through worse before. This is just another trial we will have to get through." He tried to encourage them all. "Since Cole will not be here by the time the judge gets here," he looked at Charles, "Can we depend on you to help with answers? And maybe even a doctor's report?"
"Of course, that is why I am here." He took Mabel's hand.
Andrew spoke up. "Now Charles, we don't want to put your own children at risk."
"It's no problem. They are with my older daughters in Colorado Springs, so are my grandchildren. We didn't want them around when this hit the news," Charles told him.
Andrew nodded.
Maverick spoke again. "We are putting up watches all around the ranch. Night and day. We can take rounds."
Charles spoke up. "My sons and some friends from town can help if need be, and I plan to be here to help with the court."
"Good, I appreciate it," Maverick said.
"I will warn you, the news will be all over this soon." Juan Jose looked sober but hopeful. "We will have newspapers from Denver and Colorado Springs here by the time the judge gets here. Nothing will be a secret anymore. Even what y'all did in the south will come out. They will find out things like medical reports, the issues at home, and pretty much anything to get the girls taken away."
Andrew nodded. "We have handled that before."
Sawyer agreed. "I will cover the story in the office."
"They will go after your hearing loss, Katrina," Mabel told her.
Katrina flinched, and then shrugged. "I have dealt with that before.” She paused. “If we had legally adopted them would this have been an issue?” She kept her eyes on the table.
Izzy spoke. “No, they wouldn’t have cared one bit. We have an agreement with the asylum that works. Most of the time they don’t mess with it but we know there is always a chance the children will go back. adoption papers wouldn’t matter because it has to do with the state.”
Katrina bit her lip and nodded solemnly. “What I am worried about is how we can hide this from the girls. They will notice the men around. They probably know something is up already."
"Can you keep them inside for the next three days till the judge gets here?" Izzy asked.
Izzy looked like she had aged ten years overnight. Katrina thought the only one who looked worse was Jesse. He sat there with a stiff look on his face, like he was about to leave the moment he was free. "I can try. I can keep them occupied with cookin’," Katrina mumbled. She had almost started baking in the middle of night but she didn't want to wake the girls.
Gloria winked at her. "And more bakin’." Her voice was light. "I could move in if that would be easier."
Izzy shook her head.
Katrina agreed, shaking her head. "They would know something was up. I want life to stay the same as can be, but thank you."
"So Charles would like to meet with us at Sawyer's house in town in two days?" Maverick asked.
Charles nodded. "I will be there."
Andrew fidgeted next to Katrina. She wished he would take her hand like he always used to in the past when they had meetings like this, but his hands were around the coffee mug. He held it like it was somebody's throat. Probably Mr. Heyman’s throat. "Then we got a plan." Andrew tried to be encouraging, but it didn't reach his eyes. "We will keep in touch in the next few days."
So this is what it was like to walk through the valley of despair, Katrina thought.
"Would you mind if we prayed?" Charles asked.
Maverick nodded since he seemed in charge.
"We would appreciate it, Charles," Juan Jose told him. He was such a humble man, caring and honest to a fault.
Katrina couldn't look at Mabel. The older
woman was such a help, but her children were safe. She didn't worry about her children being taken. They were all at a place where they would stay safe till this blew over. They weren't in any danger. Mabel had adopted for years, and had helped others. Their children were safe. Why not hers? Izzy said it was because they were Starrys. It was time for the asylum to get them back. Izzy had said, going after Alexanders wouldn't hit the same as going after someone related to the Donovan's. For the Donovans has been a thorn in their side for too long. It was time for revenge. She felt like screaming. The look on Mabel's face made her worried. Her children were still safe. She felt selfish but didn't know how else to feel. She wanted them all safe, and that would not happen.
As they bowed their heads, Katrina was glad Charles prayed. He was not only a father, but a grandfather many times over. And he was one Godly man that understood what they faced. She put a hand on Andrew's hard one. He took her hand in his, but she felt nothing of what they used to have. She signed in his hand, "I love you." He didn't respond. She let tears form in her eyes. She was also losing her husband along with her children. Maybe this is what a fever was like, a slow wait to lose all you have in a matter of days. She had lost it all.
ANDREW STORMED OUT of the house after Charles finished praying. He couldn't breathe. He was so angry he couldn't think straight.
Charles' prayer ran through his head. "Father God, we come here as humble servants. You know our needs and what we are facing. Be with us, give us guidance and give us wisdom. Protect your children, especially your two little girls, Sara and Carlissa. Take care of their parents you have blessed these children with. Give Andrew and Katrina peace that passes all understanding. Give wisdom to the judge that hears this trial. Teach us what you want us to learn. Father, protect your children. May your will be done. In Jesus’ name, amen."
Every word reminded him of the past. Of a man he hated. He walked to the woods. He should have grabbed his jacket, it had been cold lately. He wasn’t about to go back to the house for anything. He was losing everything. His precious girls. He would give anything to protect them. He kept walking and then cried out as he smashed his fist into a tree. He pulled his hand back, and it was raw, blood started to seep through the broken skin. It didn't take the pain from his heart. Oh, how was he going to face such a quiet house? How was he going to fix the pain in Katrina's eyes?
He heard Maverick behind him. He didn't want to talk to his brother. He had already heard from Maverick how he wasn't meeting Katrina's needs. He didn't want to hear it again. It hurt too much. He felt a rough hand on his shoulder. "Go away, Mav. I can handle this," he raged.
"I don't believe you, son," Charles told him.
Andrew turned to find Charles standing there, looking at him with such compassionate eyes. He was about a head shorter than Andrew, but looked like he could hold his own in a fight. "I'm sorry for yellin’." He stepped back and grunted. "But like I said, I am fine."
Charles looked down at Andrew’s bloody hand. "Why don't I believe you?"
Andrew looked at the ground. He wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone, especially Charles. Thunder rumbled in the distance.
"What is your problem with me?" Charles asked. He was not angry, but wanting to know.
Andrew looked at him, muttering, "Nottin.'"
"Well, I don't believe that either. You will talk to the young men in the church and when I come up you close up." He demanded, "What is your problem with me? What?"
Andrew's eyes went wide. "Nothin'. I don't know what you’re talkin' about." His eyes turned dark, wanting this conversation to end.
"What are you so angry about? What pain do you have in you, Andrew?" Charles walked closer to him.
"I am losing my children," Andrew cried.
"It is more than that. You have a bitterness that is eating you up. You can't seem to think past it. It's all you think about. It's hurting you, and your relationships." Charles put a hand on his shoulder. "Am I right, son?"
Andrew had a lot of self-control or he would have decked Charles at that moment. But he just pulled back as his face crumbled. "Never call me that. I ain't anyone's son! Not anymore," he yelled. The pain was so deep, so raw. He couldn't handle it.
Charles stood there and the light came into his eyes. "Now I see. Sawyer told me what happened to your pa. What he did. He was a terrible man for doing that to all of you children. But Andrew, you have to let go of what he did to you all."
Andrew shook his head. "You don't understand." Giving up. What did it matter? He was losing his children.
"What? What is wrong?" Charles got in his face.
Andrew couldn't do this. He closed his eyes, and that night flashed before his eyes. He glared at Charles with all the hate and rage he could, and Charles never even flinched. He just stood there waiting for Andrew to come to him with the truth. What would it hurt to tell the man? He was losing his kids so Katrina and him wouldn't have to come to him or Mabel anymore. He turned as he spoke in such anger, such pain, "I killed him. It was my hand that pulled the trigger. It was me." He caught his breath, glad Charles stayed silent. "I watched him closely, he had a gun pointed at Matt. I aimed my rifle. I had done it many times in the past. This time I felt nothin’ like all the other times. It is just a job. Then I saw him fall, and I knew it had been my gun." He hung his head beside a tree, breathing like he had run a mile.
Charles stepped beside him but didn't touch him. "I am so sorry, Andrew. You didn't have a choice in the matter. He would have shot your brother. You can forgive yourself, with God's help."
Andrew shook his head. "I don't know if God can. I have never been so alone that night. I haven't felt right with God since. I didn't see God that night. And even if I saw God, I hate Owen. I hate him with all my whole being."
Charles blinked. "You haven't seen God at work in your girls? In your wife? Or even in your family in the last few months? God didn't just drop off the face of the earth when Owen died. He was there that night. You need to ask God where He was that night. Where He was in your darkest part of your life. He will answer."
"You have all the answers, Doc," he said sarcastically as the rain started to fall.
Charles looked at him with sad eyes. "If you don't let go of bitterness, Andrew, it will kill you."
Andrew looked away as the rain came down harder, like God was crying for His children. "It already has, Doc."
Chapter 34
Waking in a cold sweat, Andrew sat up in bed breathing hard. He hadn't had a dream like that in a long time. He looked over at Katrina, who lay sleeping finally after crying for hours last night. She looked peaceful, her hair over her soft face. The only note was the red rims around her eyes. He took one of her curls in his hand, loving the soft feel against his rough fingers. Maverick was right. He should make more time for her. He would after this ended. He let the curl fall and got up.
Walking past the girls’ bedrooms, he was quiet as he went down the stairs. The night air was chilly as he stood on the porch, the cool wood against his feet.
He sat on the steps and looked up at all the stars. 'When I consider thy heavens, the work of thy fingers, the moon and the stars, which thou hast ordained.'
God took such care for the stars and the world. Why wouldn't He care for His children? Was He always there? Ask God where He was that night. He will answer. Was Charles right? He ran a hand through his hair thinking of the bible verse, But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear ye not, therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows.
The sparrows reminded him of his girls. He placed such value on his children. Incredible to know God had that much care for him. He closed his eyes. God, it's been too long since I have come to you like this. I need to ask, where were you that night? Did you care? Show me how you were there. He put his head in his hands and went back in his mind to the night that he had tried so hard to forget.
He saw it all like he was watching it play out in his mind. He could see where all his brothers were, and he
could see himself holding that rifle. Then he spotted Owen aiming a gun at Matt, who didn't even see him. He saw it then. There was a light around Andrew as he pulled the trigger. He saw there was the same light around all his brothers. God or angels? Did it matter that God protected them? He saw himself drop the rifle and fall to his knees. He saw a bright light, like a man holding him right there in the woods. Then he saw tears in the man's eyes. They had shed the same tears that night after taking his father's life. Jesus wept. He had wept with Andrew that night.
Oh, God, could I be so blind? Andrew wept now. He let the tears fall, and as they did, he felt himself forgive Owen. It was like he didn't have a choice. God came to him like he could do anything. Bring his marriage back to what it was. And maybe, maybe even save his girls. With God, all things were possible. He wiped his eyes, looking up. He hadn't felt this light in such a long time. Though he had a mountain of problems yet to face, his heart was free and so he could face those problems head-on.
ANDREW'S HEART FELT light despite his inner pain of what might happen. He enjoyed watching Katrina with his little blond angel, though most would not call her that. He saw the inside; she was one and that could come out in time. But they didn't have time.
"Look, Sally is taking the last kitten!" Sara pointed at the barn cat carrying the last of her four kittens to inside the stall where she had found a new hom,. farther away from the curious little puppy.
Katrina smiled.
Sara looked thoughtful. "I have learned something while living here on a real ranch." She stayed silent for so long Andrew didn't think she would tell them. But then she softly said, "Mothers are supposed to love their babies. Ember, the mama pig, hates us if we get close to her piglets. The cows and horses will take out a person to protect their young. The mother hens will pick at us for even taking eggs." She added, "They don't abandon or sell their babies."
Katrina leaned closer. “No mother should do that. I love you, baby. Like the mother hen, and I will protect you like the pig.” She smiled lightly. “And you know how crazy Ember can get.”
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