"Do you know anything about your real parents?" Francesca asked, softer.
Timmy nodded. "My real parents, I live with every day." He grinned and gave her a knowing look. "Yes, my ma looked for my tummy mamma. She died a couple months after I was born. Because of my good looks, I am probably Mexican or Italian. There was nothing of a pa. I was blessed, and I got great parents who love me."
Francesca frowned. "You never doubted them. Never wondered if they loved you."
Timmy shook his head. "I have doubts. Many times I explode in anger and I have so many fears that the anger will set me back."
Francesca glared at him. "But you remember nothing."
Timmy nodded. "I don't remember anything but I feel different sometimes. I still scream in the night and I don’t know why. I yell, wondering why I am doing this." He shrugged. "My ma said I am like a cannon ready to light. I hide what I feel. My brothers are like a lit fuse all the time." His face lightened.
Francesca's lip came up in a smile. "Us girls would be a lit fuse."
Timmy shrugged. "It will pass in time and then you will feel like you have better control of your emotions."
"Did that come from your mama?" Francesca asked sarcastically.
Timmy shook his head. "Nope, I have felt it and seen it."
"Why did you stay here? And not go with your siblings?" Francesca's lips pouted a bit. Katrina could tell Francesca was acting, she wanted to be kissed. She was teasing him with her body.
"I wanted to be here for you. And I worry about mama getting enough rest when she is in a fight like this."
Francesca's eyebrow rose. "You worry about your mama?"
"Yeah, I do." Timmy chuckled at her shock. "Mothers are pretty sweet, you just have to get used to the rules with love. What is the best thing Katrina taught you?"
Francesca pouted her lips more, thinking about it. Katrina was afraid of what she would say. "She taught me how to cook. I like cooking. Andrew says if a woman can bake a peach pie, then she is ready for marriage." She chuckled. "I made my first pie a couple days ago and I think it turned out pretty well."
Timmy blushed to his roots.
Francesca laughed. "I can get Katrina to blush at the drop of a hat." She winked at him. "Though I can't get Andrew to blush one bit. But I keep trying."
Timmy shook his head, chuckling. "Your lot in life should not be how much can you get people to blush."
Francesca put her hand on the ground and leaned over to him, her lips close to his. "Maybe I just want you, Timmy," she whispered. If either moved, they would be kissing.
Katrina watched it play out before her. The struggle on Timmy's face was evident. Katrina prayed he would fight it.
Timmy put his hand up and Katrina thought it was to pull her close, but he put a hand on her shoulder and pushed her back, shaking his head. His face struggled. "You do not belong to me. To take even a kiss would be wrong."
"And who do I belong to?" Francesca asked angrily. She didn't enjoy being rejected, but if Katrina didn't see it, there was a light in her eyes that he wasn't just a man that took another kiss from her. It still confused her. According to Francesca, her body was the only reason a man wanted her.
"You belong to the King of kings, and you are Andrew's beloved daughter," Timmy told her.
Francesca rolled her eyes. "Sure," she muttered. "Sometimes I wonder why Katrina and Andrew do this. Their life could be so much easier." She looked confused. "They have lost Isaiah over us."
Timmy looked thoughtfully at her. "Nah, he just doesn't understand what Andrew is trying to do."
Francesca sighed. “Your ma still kept you when she had a baby.”
Timmy looked confused. “Yeah. What makes you say that, Francesca?"
Francesca leaned against the tree. "I had a friend, Anna. Her real mama had left her. When she was still young and pretty, she went home to this rich couple. Anna never forgot about me. She brought me food. I didn't go hungry anymore. I tried to be a good child, to stop cursing and stealing. It was not easy. We would play and I would dream that they needed two daughters. Maybe they would forget I was Mexican. Then something happened, and I knew it was too late for a family." She stopped talking.
Katrina let tears fall. She wiped her eyes and watched Timmy's hand cover Francesca's hand, just in comfort, not grabbing.
Francesca allowed it and continued. "In her barn, we would sit on her pony. It was always safe there with lots of food. Three winters went by. We stayed just as close, then her mama was with child." Francesca's voice hardened. "We loved the baby and talked of holdin’ the little sister and protectin’ it." Francesca's mouth curved. "The baby came and Anna forgot about me. I would sit in the barn and wait for her to bring food and she forgot." Francesca's face went hard. "I went hungry and started stealing again. Then one night, Anna got dropped off by her adoptive mama. Her mama said she was a child from bad blood." She shook her head and ran a hand through her hair. "The madam of the house cussed and slapped Anna. We called her mama the witch of the village, because of how dark she was inside and out. Anna said her mama didn't want a daughter with scars."
Katrina wanted so much to hug her, but she watched as Timmy stayed silent and just held her hand in both of his.
"Anna taught me to read and write. When she was adopted, she would write me notes and I could never read them. She taught me to read and write from those notes. We couldn’t afford books. Katrina also writes me notes." Her face crumbled.
"What happened to Anna?" Timmy was so gentle.
Francesca's face was full of guilt and grief. "I got sick and Anna took care of me. I got better and then she got it, but she wasn't getting better. I kept trying. I stayed up two nights caring for her. I fell asleep, and when I woke up, I was on a train. I tried to go back. But the train was too fast and it was heading west." Her hands curled into fists. Her face was furious. "I found out later she passed away. Our papers probably got burned. I have nothing of her."
"You have what she taught you," Timmy told her.
Francesca pulled away and stood. "Now I am losing my sisters and my parents."
Timmy stood, facing her. "You are not losing Katrina or Andrew. They will always love you. You are their daughter, Princess."
The wrath on Francesca's face was so full of hate and distrust. She yelled, "I will never be their baby. I will be no one's baby. I was born filthy and dirty. When I came out, my own mother hated me. I was nothing. If you knew what men had done to me, what I did with them, you would run and never say that. It's only a matter of time till Kat or Andrew sees what I am." Francesca let loose a string of swear words.
Katrina had never heard those filthy words come out of her mouth.
Timmy walked up close to her, his face full of compassion and care. He held out a hand and put it to her lips. "No, Francesca, you listen to me. You are the daughter of Katrina. You are a Princess." His voice was firm and angry. "Francesca, you are none of those things. Men made you think you were those things. You were made to be a perfect child. You were made to be loved. You, only you, are the one God chose. He chose you to be His and His alone. He chose you to be his daughter. When your father and my mother forsake you, then the LORD will take you up. The Lord has chosen you to be His treasured possession. That is what the Lord thinks of you, Francesca. He gave you to Andrew and Katrina as a gift. He chose you just for them. Who can say different? You lived in their house before they got there. You were meant to be Andrew and Katrina's daughter. You were meant to be Sara and Carlissa's big sister, even if for a short time. God decided it. You are God's beloved daughter." His face was close to hers while his eyes begged her to realize the truth.
"You didn't stutter," Francesca told him.
Timmy stared at her. "What? Have you heard anything I said?"
Francesca nodded. "Yes, but I just can't believe it. Trusting them would be like trusting a God who is taking my sisters from a safe home. No one can stop them from going, not even Andrew and Maverick. No one. Not even God
can stop them." She shrugged. Her eyes were full of pain. "So what is the point?"
Timmy shook his head. "Oh, my dear. You have ears to hear and eyes to see." He took her head in his hands. "But you still are so hard of believing." He let her head lean against his chest. He let his other hand drop and with the other hand, he ran it over her head from the top to her shoulders, like he would a child. Her head rested against him, but her body wasn't touching him. His touch was pure. "You are Andrew's baby forever and always. You are Katrina’s little girl," he whispered over and over.
Katrina backed away. What Timmy had just done was more than any man, except Andrew, had ever done. If this boy could make a difference in her little girl, then what could a nation do for children like hers? What if every town treated children like Jesus did? If only all of God's people would do what this one boy did. Her little girl was in God’s hand.
Chapter 38
"We need more days like this." Izzy smiled.
Jesse agreed as they walked from the diner to the general store. It had been such a light day. "Even if I had to make you take a day off."
Izzy almost sighed the second trial was in two days. She forced herself to wink at him. "I was going to go anyway."
"What am I going to do with you?" He poked her side and then settled down as they walked in. Many people said they were praying and supporting the Starrys. For most of them, this was the first time seeing and hearing firsthand the evils of the asylum. Izzy nodded and tried to keep it light. She knew this would end soon when the girls left, or the townspeople would be there for the Starrys for a while and then it would pass, leaving Andrew and Katrina's home very empty. She shook her head. She wouldn't let this get her down today. She was getting married soon and would be happy with her man.
When someone touched her shoulder, she turned to find Mabel standing there.
"Hi, dear," Mabel said. She gave Izzy a hug and then nodded to Jesse.
Izzy kept her face light. She just wanted to cry in the woman's arms. That wasn't like her. What was wrong with her lately? She didn't let her emotions control her. "We just came from the diner and thought we would get a few items for our home."
Mabel kept her mood and met it, keeping it light. "I have an idea for some supplies."
"That would be great." She walked over to the general store together, taking tips from the older woman. After a bit Mabel asked, "So when should your ma come?"
"A couple of days. I hope when she gets here maybe things could get better between us." Izzy shrugged, afraid she admitted too much. "Or maybe I am wishin’ for too much."
"Anything can happen." Mabel touched her arm gently. "If she sees the trial, maybe she will see how she can change. It has changed many."
Izzy made a long face. "My ma doesn't change." Finding the can of cherries a few minutes later, she turned to see Mabel talking to Annie and another woman Izzy couldn't see behind a shelf. She walked up beside Mabel and to her shock, her mother stood there. Jesse came up right next to her.
"So you just got in today, Rosa?" Mabel asked.
Annie answered, "No, she got here two days ago. We have had such fun."
Mabel's face showed shock.
Izzy's mouth dropped open. She felt Jesse's hand claim hers. "You have been here for two days and didn't think of coming to the ranch?"
Rosa looked surprised to see her, and guilty. "Well, we didn't want to bother your work."
"Sawyer didn't tell me." Izzy shook her head.
Annie looked at her twin like she was making far too big a deal of this.
Jesse spoke up, a bite to his words. "Sawyer has been at the ranch before she came because we were talking about our mother-in-law coming."
"You have been talking about us," Annie snapped.
Izzy cocked her head, raising an eyebrow. "Sawyer would never do that. He was just askin’ why were you so mad about him helping." Letting go of Jesse's hand, she walked out.
Mabel was right by her side and stopped her before the alley way. "Are you all right, dear?"
Izzy shook her head, sorrow on her face. "I wish I had a ma that loved me."
"You do, she is coming next week. You have a wonderful aunt," Mabel told her. "But it doesn't change the hurt."
Izzy couldn't agree more.
Rosa walked up to them, her hands on her hips. "What is wrong, Izzy? You always have to make a scene."
Izzy laughed hard. "You just don't get it."
Jesse took Izzy's hand, and added softly, "Miss Rosa, I can't imagine my ma ever comin’ without seeing all of her children. You haven't seen your children in months. Sawyer and I were just talkin’ about what great parents we had and how sad our girls didn’t get that chance. Even if Annie gets your love now, you didn't love her when she was a child. You lacked a mother's love. Why? There had to be a reason. What is the pain you have?"
Izzy was proud of Jesse. He was being compassionate and truthful. She knew he had issues with her mother, but Jesse was right. Annie would wake up to their pa beating Ma, Cole, or Izzy. Yeah, Annie had it bad, even if she never got hurt physically.
Rosa went pale while looking down. Maybe in shame?
Annie was red, her hands in fists. "You have no right to say that to my ma. I know Sawyer doesn't agree. I am glad I got the better man than you."
Izzy flinched at her words, crossing her arms. Annie might not say it, but she meant she was worthy enough for a good man. Would she ever be as good as Annie? Annie was pure as a bride. Izzy would never be pure. That would never change, even if Jesse could accept it. She still worried Jesse would see the truth in her or even grow tired of her. She bit her lip, trying to fight off those thoughts and feelings. Having her family here made her feel all the old feelings she had hoped were gone. If Cole were here, he would have helped. She always felt safe with him.
Jesse rubbed her arms like he was trying to warm her after her family's cold wrath. His voice had a bite to it. "You are right, Sawyer is a great man." He moved like he was ready to walk away. "I got the better half of the twins."
AFTER HIDING ALL THE knives, guns, rifles, and any other weapons in the house, Andrew worried about the girls. What if the girls did something to themselves? Or others? All he could do was keep them safe. Walking into his room, he looked over to see the girls playing outside. He looked to his nightstand to find his picture was gone. He spotted it on the bed. His heart broke, picking up the picture. He wanted to weep. Literally. He hadn't cried in all this mess. But this picture was his priceless childhood memory. One of the first ones he had of the family.
He looked at it now. A fire had burned the edges of the frame and now the glass had been broken. He wasn’t sure how but someone had taken out the picture and crumbled it. The sides were slightly ripped, but the faces of the children looked like they could save it.
Katrina walked in, looking at him like he did something wrong. "I called you, Drew." She saw the picture in his hands and rushed over. "Oh, no." She took it out of his hands. Her face crumbled, angry. "I am so sorry, Andrew."
"It doesn't matter." He walked into the kitchen. He knew if he asked the girls, they would just lie. He closed his eyes. This picture had gotten him through so much doubt, grief, and so much pain he didn't think he would have made it without it. The picture reminded him he belonged in the Starry family.
Katrina put a hand on his back. "It matters, Andrew."
Putting the picture on the table, his hands went into fists. "Julia saved this picture from the fire when our cabin burned. It's not fair. Why? It's one of the few pictures we have of when Ben was alive! Why?" He shouted through ground teeth.
"Because they are in pain. When a person is in pain, they create more pain," Mabel said as she walked into the kitchen.
Andrew turned to face her and saw Charles behind her. They had pretty much lived at the ranch. He could never repay all they had done. He had to let them into his personal life but now he didn't want to face them. He didn't want them to see him at his worst. It made him feel
like a heel coming in on him, yelling at his wife. He still held out his hand to her. They were connecting this time, not separating. "I don't see your point," he told them honestly.
Charles spoke up. "This picture looks like it has been through a lot and now it has been cracked through the anger of your children. It can be fixed with a little care." He picked up the picture frame, taking the back off. The glass was in sizable pieces and fell out. Taking the frame off, he left the picture. He picked up a large piece of glass and held it up. "God designed us to have protection around us. He made us have parents, grandparents, and providers in life. Sin took that away. Our children didn't get that. At first, it was like a glass got cracked, then broke. A little more each time. The community, the church, the state, and the government did nothing for their pain. The glass just kept chipping away because the protection wasn't there. Finally, their lives shattered, and they had to do everything on their own. They had to be ma and pa to themselves and siblings. They had to find shelter, food, and safety." He met Andrew's gaze. "They couldn't protect themselves from the evils of men. Our children know the evil no person should know." Charles was a man of few words unless they needed it.
Andrew's heart hurt over the image Charles made, but he still loved that picture. It held so much memories for him. Did he always forgive and let go?
Mabel spoke up. "When a person is hurting, they hurt. When a person is in pain, they cause pain." She shook her head, her face in pain. "They want to hurt their parents the most. They seem to know how it will hurt us most. It doesn't excuse what they do, but they are in so much pain they can't see straight. As much as they hurt us, someone has hurt them the same way or worse. Repeatedly. It's all they know, so they continue the pain. The pain and rejection have been great. They build walls around their heart to protect themselves. Getting through those walls they put up will be hard. It will be heartbreaking, but I believe through God you can do it. And it's up to the girls to decide how they will live. It's between God and each child. He will get her attention."
Liberty Ranch Page 29