by Robin Kaye
Sam picked up his phone and texted someone. After a moment, he got one back. “Gina’s fine. She told me to throw you out of her house.”
Not surprising. Ben would deal with her anger later, now he just wanted to find her. “Did she say where she was?”
“No, but I wouldn’t tell you if she had. Any information you receive from now on is going to come from Gina. Finish your beer and then take off. I’m really not in the mood to throw you out.”
Ben took another swig of his beer. “You don’t know how much I appreciate that.”
When he finished his beer, Ben asked to use his own damn bathroom. Gina wouldn’t let him wait in their house, but there was no law saying he couldn’t wait in the park.
He found a park bench with a good view of the brownstone and sat in the late May sun wishing he’d thought to bring sunscreen. He took his blazer off, rolled up his sleeves, and made himself at home. He waited until they closed the park. When she didn’t come home, he sat in his car, drinking coffee, watching, and waiting. He was afraid every time he had to run down the street to use the restroom or get something to eat, praying he wouldn’t miss her.
At eight o’clock the next morning, someone tapped on his window. Ben rolled it down and was glad to see the cop was only Sam.
Sam handed him a hot cup of coffee. “Gina’s going to be a few days. I can’t tell you when she’ll be back, but I think we’re looking at least another four days.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, she didn’t give me an exact time or anything, but it’s a hell of a drive across country the way she’s going. You should know you are persona non grata. She wouldn’t spit on you if you were on fire, and those were her exact words. I just can’t stand to see your sorry ass hanging out here day and night. Go home, get some sleep. I’ll let you know when she gets home safely. But if you tell her I did, you’ll never know what hit you.”
“Thanks, man.” Ben pulled a card out of his wallet. “Here’s my cell number. Call me any time. And if you talk to her, tell her—”
Sam shook his head. “You’re gonna have to do that yourself. If she knew I was talking to you, she’d have my head.”
Ben nodded. “Thanks, Sam. I owe you.”
“Yeah, just don’t ever tell Gina and we’ll call it even.” Ben watched as Sam went into the house. Shit, what he wouldn’t do to be able to go inside his own home.
***
Gina looked up at Mount Rushmore from a distance. It wasn’t much different than the pictures she’d seen in the books at school, just bigger. It certainly didn’t blow her skirt up. She listened to the park ranger rattle off information with half an ear as the cell phone vibrated at her hip. She checked to see who it was and wished she could remember how to block calls. Still, if she did that, she’d have nothing to listen to that wasn’t country music.
“Is that Ben again?”
Buck stared down at her with his gap-toothed grin when she nodded. “He sure is persistent. Maybe if you talk to him, he’ll stop calling you.”
“He’ll stop calling eventually. When I get home, I’ll change my number.”
“Talking to him might make you feel better. Venting is healthy. If he was so wrong, telling him off could only help. And just between you and me, you could use some help because, sweetheart, you’re not lookin’ too good.”
Gina tugged on Jasmine’s leash to keep her from eating a cigarette butt someone tossed on the only place dogs were allowed. “You sure know how to sweet-talk the ladies. No wonder Kate was so happy see you leave. And I thought she was just helping me out.”
Buck laughed and threw his arm around her. “Aw, honey, Kate adores me, she just don’t know it yet. Kinda like you and Ben.”
Gina rolled her eyes. She was too tired to tell him he was wrong. The man was maddening.
“I might just have to get you drunk tonight so you’ll sleep. That little body of yours needs a good rest, even if it is artificially induced.”
“I’m fine. Now that we’ve seen the mountain and hit every gift shop known to man, can we leave?”
“Not before we stop for lunch. Kate’s gonna want a report. I hope you’re hungry. I, for one, am tired of listening to her yell at me for your lack of appetite—as if I have anything to do with it. Besides, I’m gonna gain weight if I have to finish another one of your meals. I don’t want to lose my boyish figure.”
Gina knew to laugh on cue; she’d been doing it since she met Buck. “You’re really sweet to try to cheer me up, but I have no problem with feeling like crap.” She turned and walked Jasmine around the grass as Buck trailed along beside her. “I’ve definitely learned my lesson about relationships. It’ll take a long time for me to forget how awful they make you feel. I can’t imagine how bad it would be if I actually did love Ben. The way I look at it, I’m lucky I’m incapable of loving anyone but Tina, Sam, and my friend, Rosalie. From now on, I swear I’m not going to start relationships with anyone who doesn’t have fur.”
“Ha, it’s a good thing I’m a furry guy then, huh, Gina?”
“It’s a good thing.” She tugged on his beard. “You could use some manscaping though. When we get to New York, I’ll have Tina give you a haircut and trim that beard and mustache. Kate won’t be able to resist you once Tina’s worked her magic.”
Buck smiled, that gap in his teeth winking out under his bushy mustache, and stroked his beard. “Maybe I’ll give your sister a try. It’s been a while since I hit the barbershop.”
Gina tossed Jasmine into the cab of the truck and got in by herself. She was getting good at it. “How long is the drive to New York from here?”
“About thirty hours, give or take. We have another three days if we don’t stop somewhere else.”
“I’m in no rush to get home. Ben’s been hanging out in the park across from my house waiting for me. Maybe by then he’ll have given up.”
“I doubt it. I’ve seen that boy fish for twelve hours straight without a break until he caught something, though that’s when he was just a little tyke. His dad and me were buddies. If Ben is half the man I think he is, he’ll be there waiting for you.”
“He’s not.” If Ben was half the man Buck thought he was, he wouldn’t have accused her of stealing. If Ben was half the man Buck thought he was, he wouldn’t have accused her of using him and his grandfather. If Ben was half the man Buck thought he was, he wouldn’t have hurt her.
Chapter 16
Gina and Buck were in New Jersey when her phone rang; she almost didn’t look to see who it was. Ben had called her so many times, he had gone way past annoying. She checked her phone and saw it was Dick, the private detective. “Dick, what did you find?”
“The man I’ve been investigating, Michael R. Hutchins, turned out to be a blond-haired, blue-eyed, California boy who’d already found his birth parents. He’s not your brother.”
Gina couldn’t speak. She nodded and took a deep breath that came out sounding like a sob. She hadn’t realized how much she’d been counting on finding Rafael. The search for him had been the only thing keeping her sane.
“I’m sorry. I’ll keep looking. I’ll go back to the secretary and sift through her files again. It’s not over.”
“Yeah.” She sniffled and wiped her eyes. “I should have known it was too good to be true.”
“We’ll find him. I’m sorry I got your hopes up. I’m flying back on the red-eye, and I’ll be in the office tomorrow if you want to meet.”
Buck pulled into a rest stop and let the engine idle as she finished her call.
“I’ll call you tomorrow and we can go over our game plan. Don’t give up hope, Gina. This is just the beginning.”
She cleared her throat and forced the words out. “I know. Thanks for trying. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
“Are you okay?”
She nodded again. “I’m fine. I have to go.” She didn’t wait for his reply before ending the call. Buck put his arm around her. Gina turned her face to his ch
est and cried.
“It’s okay, just let it all out.”
As if she had any choice in the matter. “I’m sorry.”
“Nothin’ to be sorry about.” He handed her a napkin to use as a tissue. “You want to tell me about it?”
She shook her head. “I’ll be fine.”
“I know you will, darlin’, but you look as if you’ve been carrying the weight of the world on your little shoulders. Whatever it is that’s bothering you, I know it’s more than just this situation with Ben.”
She nodded. “This has nothing to do with Ben. This is my problem.”
“I’m a good listener and it looks to me as if you could use a sounding board. If not me, you might want to give Ben a shot. He’s been waiting for you. Kate told me he’s been outside your house since your brother-in-law has orders not to let him in.”
“Oh, so you’ve been getting information from Kate and not just giving it to her?”
Buck grinned. “I won’t mention a word you say to Kate or anyone else for that matter. I’ll swear on the Bible if it’ll make you feel better.” He opened a bag that sat beside his seat the entire trip and pulled out a well-worn Bible.
Gina shook her head. “I believe you. I’m sorry, Buck. It’s not that I don’t trust you. This is my problem. It’s is something I need to work out on my own.”
Buck rubbed her back. “I appreciate your independence, but even Jesus had the Apostles helping him, remember?”
“Yeah, and one of them turned on him. Not really a good example.”
“Darlin,’ Ben knows he screwed up. He’s been kicking himself over it since you left. Everyone deserves a second chance, don’t they?”
“I don’t think I can give him that, Buck. I don’t think I can take the disappointment again. It hurts too much.”
“Just promise me that you’ll listen to him, and more importantly, talk to him. Ben’s never been in love before. He’s new at this. And it didn’t help that the two of you started your relationship in an odd place.”
Gina raised her eyebrows. She’d never told Buck anything about that. Kate must have.
“Not many people marry first and fall in love later. Don’t throw a real chance at love away. Believe me, it doesn’t come around every day.”
“I didn’t fall in love, and neither did he. He just thinks he did.”
“Would you do something for me? Would you promise to hear him out and talk to him?”
Gina wiped her eyes with the napkin. “Is there any way you’ll take me home if I don’t?”
Buck ginned. “You’ll get there a lot sooner if you promise.”
“Fine. I promise.”
The closer they got to New York, the more fragile Gina felt. All she could do was pray they got there soon. She planned to shut herself in her room, close the blinds, and will everybody and everything away. She didn’t think she was strong enough to handle one more thing. She was going to shatter and she needed to be alone when it happened.
***
Ben watched Tina leave for work earlier and knew Sam would sleep until about one, so Ben sat on the stoop of the brownstone waiting in the shade.
An eighteen-wheeler stopped in front of the house. The hiss of the air breaks and smell of diesel exhaust pulled Ben from his daze. The truck was one of Gramps’ and he recognized the driver’s red hair and beard. Ben walked across the street reaching the truck as Buck climbed from the cab.
“Hey, Ben, fancy meetin’ you here.”
Ben shook Buck’s hand and gave him a guy hug. “Uncle Buck, what are you doing here?”
Buck pushed the bill of his Mariners cap up and rocked back on the heels of his worn cowboy boots. “Kate asked me to drop off a package while I was in the area.”
Ben heard the other door slam shut and saw Gina come around the front of the cab. She looked through him, as if he didn’t exist, and the emptiness in her eyes mirrored the emptiness he’d felt since she left. He was shocked to see her like this. Her eyes were swollen and her face was red and blotchy. She’d been crying. A part of him hoped it was because she missed him as much as he’d missed her. He rubbed his chest, feeling as though someone had surgically extracted something necessary for him to live. She had bags under her eyes and looked as if she’d lost weight. But the thing that shocked him the most was that Gina looked lifeless. She’d lost that spark he’d fallen in love with. She tugged on a leash and a larger, plumper Jasmine ran around the front of the truck and right to him. He bent and picked her up, holding her to his chest, and received puppy kisses.
Gina shook her head, dropped the end of the leash, and walked woodenly to the house. Ben followed Gina as Buck returned to the cab and pulled out her bags.
Ben had spent the last five days planning every word he’d say to her, but every single one disappeared into the ether as soon as he set eyes on her. He drank in the sight of her, thanking God she was home and still in one piece.
Buck followed them in with Gina’s bags, nudged Ben out of the way, and pulled her into a big hug. “Remember your promise. I’m going to drop off the load and I’ll be around for a day or two. I’ll call you.”
“I have plenty of space here. You’re more than welcome to stay.”
Buck smiled. “No, you have your hands full as it is, darlin’, but thanks for the offer.”
Gina nodded and held him tight, as if she were absorbing his strength. She got up on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek. “Remember, you have an appointment with Tina tomorrow.”
“How could I forget?” He turned away and Ben walked him to the door. Buck hugged Ben and patted Jasmine’s head. “You be gentle with her or you’ll answer to me.”
“Thanks for taking care of her, Uncle Buck.”
“Don’t thank me, it was my pleasure. I wish you luck, she’s a hell of a woman.”
“I know.”
Ben put Jasmine down. Gina called her as she walked through the swinging door into the kitchen and Ben followed, catching the door just before it rearranged his face. He knew it was going to be an uphill battle. He was ready for it, he hoped.
Ben pushed the door open slowly in case Jasmine was in front of it. She danced around Gina who had pulled a bag of kibble and two bowls out of one of Ben’s duffle bags. “Here you go, Jazzie. You’re hungry again, aren’t you?”
As Jasmine wolfed down her food, Gina rolled the top of the bag and put it in the pantry. With that done, she took out coffee and started a pot. “Are you just going to stand there staring at me or are you going to say something?”
Ben stepped behind her and folded her in his arms. He took a deep breath and for the first time since she left, he felt whole. He didn’t care that she stood as still and stiff as a statue. She smelled like Gina, and even though she didn’t melt into him, she felt good. “God, I missed you. Promise you’ll never leave me again.”
“I promise. Since there’s no way in hell I’d ever take you back, leaving you again would be impossible. The only reason you’re still here is because I promised Buck I’d hear you out.”
Thank God for Uncle Buck. “Gina, all I can say is I’m sorry. When I got that message and then found you and Gramps with your heads together, I jumped to the wrong conclusion. Believe me, if I had to do it all over again, I’d change everything I did and said.”
He couldn’t see Gina’s face, but she nodded.
“I love you.”
“You don’t know the meaning of the word.” Gina slipped out of his arms and reached for a coffee cup. It didn’t look as if he would be invited to join her.
“I do too. But I also know you’re keeping something from me. I just don’t know what or why. Are you in some kind of trouble? Why did you hire a private investigator to research land titles?”
“It’s my business and it has nothing to do with you.”
“Anything that affects you, affects me. Talk to me. Please. I need to know what’s going on. Maybe I can help.”
She turned and finally looked at him. “Don’t
you get it? I don’t want your help. I just want you gone.”
“You’re not getting rid of me that easily, Gina. I’m not going anywhere. I don’t care if Sam throws me out. I’ll keep coming back.”
Gina took the deed out of her bag, opened it to the last page, and signed it. “Here, take your deed and leave.”
Ben shook his head. “It has to be witnessed and notarized.”
“Make an appointment, text me the time and address, and I’ll be there. You’ll get your ranch and I’ll get my divorce.”
“I don’t want the ranch and I sure as hell don’t want a divorce. The only thing I want is you. Please, Gina, just give me a chance. I won’t disappoint you.”
“You already have. I warned you. Against my better judgment, I gave you three chances and you blew it in too many ways to count. I don’t love you, Ben. I never will. Let’s just cut our losses and do our best to forget each other.”
Ben leaned back against the counter and smiled in relief. “You’re lying.” Thank God. “You love me. I know you do. Whenever you lie you can’t look me in the eye and you shove your hands in your pockets.”
She looked down, pulled her hands from her front pockets, and hugged herself. “Please just leave.” Her voice rose. “Please?” she shouted and all he could think was that finally, the Gina he loved was back.
“These last six days have nearly killed me. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life without you. Gina, I love you. I can’t leave you.”
Gina squeezed her eyes shut and shook. “No. You won’t leave. There’s a difference. You are certainly capable. You had no problem leaving me in Idaho.” She continued to scream at him. “What did you expect me to do, Ben? Just stay there to see if you’d come back?” She shook her head as her tears escaped. “You left me first. I just didn’t stick around. You left me. You’re just like everyone else. Now get out!”