by Robin Kaye
“Do it yourself. She’s your dog. I’m your sister, not your maid.”
The intercom beeped off and Gina groaned, pulling herself out of bed. She looked around for something to wear; everything was still in her suitcase. Great. She rummaged through it as Jasmine danced around her feet. She found a pair of jeans, tugged on them to get them out of the bag, and something hard fell on her foot. It was the copy of Pride and Prejudice from the cabin—Ben’s mother’s book. She wasn’t sure how it got there. She sure as heck didn’t pack it or steal it.
Jasmine whined again so Gina tossed the book on her bed and got dressed. Unfortunately for both her and Jasmine, the puppy couldn’t hold it any longer and had an accident in front of the door. She cowered there, shaking.
“It’s okay, sweetie. It’s not your fault. I’m just a crappy mom.” Gina retrieved a towel from the bathroom and tossed it on the carpet, stepping on it to sop up some of the mess. “I’ll clean it up later. Come on, Jazzie, let’s go out and then we’ll feed you.”
Gina grabbed her sunglasses and a clean-up bag from the table and headed across the street to the park with Jasmine. It was a gorgeous spring day. The sun shone, the birds chirped, but she couldn’t care less. All she wanted to do was go back to her room, pull the shades, and sleep.
After a very short walk, she and Jasmine returned to the house and went straight to the kitchen where Tina was banging around. The noise did nothing to help the headache Gina had from crying and sleeping and crying some more. She rubbed her forehead. She hadn’t cried that much since Rafael had been taken away. She’d learned her lesson then. She’d cried until her father had told her to stop or he’d give her something to cry about. After one beating with his belt, he left her and Tina alone with their mother in the apartment until he’d spent all the money on drugs and booze. She hadn’t cried again until she’d met Ben.
While Tina ignored her, Gina retrieved the dog food. She was almost out. The thought of going shopping was enough to make her consider calling that expensive grocery store Ben had used, because from the look on Tina’s face, Gina didn’t think her sister would be willing to make a dog food run, and the store delivered. Until now, she would have never considered spending the extra money, but then, she’d never felt this way before either. Maybe she was sick.
Tina slammed a pan on the stove, drawing Gina’s attention away from her own troubles. Tina looked pissed.
“Are you and Sam fighting?”
“No.”
“Then what is your problem? I’d prefer it if you didn’t break the stove. As soon as the divorce is final, I want to be able to sell this place.”
“My problem? If you want to know what my problem is, go look in the mirror.”
Gina stopped and stared. Tina had never spoken to her like that. Ignoring the comment because it would take too much energy to argue, Gina filled Jasmine’s food bowl and set it down beside the water bowl, she thought about giving Jasmine fresh water, but it seemed like an awful lot of trouble.
Tina took two slices out of the breadbox and slathered one with butter before pointing the knife at Gina. “You haven’t gotten out of bed for more than ten minutes in the last week. You’re like a zombie. You come down and eat our leftovers in the middle of the night, you sleep all day, and you’re not taking care of your dog. What is wrong with you?” She tossed the buttered bread in the frying pan and went to the refrigerator and took out the Swiss cheese, closed the door with her hip, and placed a few slices on the bread.
“I just want to be left alone.”
Tina buttered the other slice. “Well, tough shit. I’ve been biting my tongue all week and I’m done. I’m so angry with you, Gina, I can’t stand it.” She slapped the bread down on top of the sandwich and stared.
Gina leaned against the counter and crossed her arms. “What the heck did I do to you?”
Tina pulled a spatula out of the drawer and slammed it shut before pointing the spatula at her. “You have some nerve asking me that. You’ve kept me in the dark for the last twenty-two years and I’ve spent the last week processing it. You didn’t tell me about Rafael until you were forced to, and if it hadn’t been for Ben and Sam, I still wouldn’t know I have a brother walking this earth. You kept my brother from me.”
Gina stepped toward her sister. “I was trying to—”
Tina held the spatula up, cutting her off and stopping her dead in her tracks. “Protect me. I know, I heard you the first thousand times. You had no right!” She slammed the spatula on the counter.
Gina stepped away, shocked by Tina’s fury.
“Can you imagine how I felt? Oh, no. You’re so busy running everyone’s lives and making yourself out to be a martyr, you never think of anyone else. All this time, Sam and I could have helped look for Rafael. But no, you had to do it yourself. Well, sister, I don’t remember giving you permission to run my life.” She picked up the spatula and flipped the sandwich. “Maybe I let you take care of me too long. I admit to being guilty of that, but it ends now. Things are going to change, and if you don’t get with the program, Sam and I will move out. Maybe that’s what you need to get your head on straight.” She took a plate from the cabinet and slapped it down on the granite countertop.
It was a good thing it was Corelle because if it were the regular china, it would be in a thousand pieces.
Tina didn’t seem to notice. “I have a life. I’m happy. You’re the one who needs someone to take care of you. Look at yourself. You’re alone. Sure, you can date any guy you want, but no matter how great he is, you use him until he gets too close and then kick him to the curb.”
“I do not.”
“Oh yes you do.” Tina flipped the sandwich onto the plate and stabbed it with the spatula, cutting it in half. “You threw Ben out, and you’ve been moping around ever since. You’re in love with him, but you’re too proud or too stupid to do anything about it.”
“What?”
“He made one mistake and you cut him off. He’s a man. If I left Sam over every stupid thing he did or said, we wouldn’t have made it a week. If you’re looking for perfection, Gina, you’re going to spend the rest of your life alone.”
“I’m not looking for perfection.”
“Oh yeah? I have news for you, you aren’t perfect and no one else is either. I think you’re lucky to have someone as kind and caring as Ben willing to put up with your shit because I’m sick to death of it. I’m sick of you and I’m sick of this weeklong pity party. You’re miserable and I’m not going to sit around and watch you ruin your life.”
“I’m not ruining my life. I’m taking a damn vacation.”
“Right. You listen to me, you might be a lot older than me—”
Gina raised her hand. “Hold on, I’m only four years older than you. I’m not ancient.”
“If anyone makes you sound ancient it’s you. What I was going to say before I was rudely interrupted was that you might be older, but I’m the one who has had a successful four-year relationship, almost two of which were spent happily married. You’ve never had a relationship last longer than…” She stopped and tapped her chin with her pointer finger. “How long have you and Ben been married? Two months? Yeah, you’ve never had a relationship last longer than two months. Who do you think knows more about relationships—you or me?”
“It doesn’t matter. Ben and I don’t have a relationship. We have an agreement. He got what he wanted—”
“Gina, you may have begun this mess with an agreement, but it turned into what looked to me like a real marriage until you went off and wigged out on him.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Oh yeah, I’m completely clueless. You slept with him, you went to his ranch for a week and played house, and when he got too close for comfort, you found any excuse you could to terminate it. You’re so afraid of needing and loving someone that you broke your own heart and put the blame on him. If it were just you that you were hurting, I’d say you deserved it
. But you hurt Ben too. You used him. How could you do that to him after all he’s given you?”
“I’m going to return every red cent.”
Tina shook her head. “It’s not the money, Gina. Ben gave you his love, and you threw it back in his face. If you can do that to him, you’re not the person I thought you were.” Tina took her sandwich, grabbed a soda from the refrigerator, and left Gina standing in the kitchen alone. Well, alone except for Jasmine who had curled up next to her food bowl and was fast asleep.
Tina had it all wrong, or did she? Gina didn’t know, and the way she felt, she couldn’t summon the energy to examine it. She removed a bottle of spray cleaner for the carpet from beneath the sink, grabbed a roll of paper towels, and picked Jasmine up off the floor. “Come on, sweetie. Let’s go upstairs where we can be alone, just you and me. We’ll clean up and go back to bed until the next time you have to go out.”
Gina knelt on the carpet as Jasmine helped her clean and wash the spot, chasing the paper towel to and fro. Gina sat and tried to get the towel out of Jasmine’s mouth and remembered she’d forgotten to pack the toy she and Ben had made Jasmine. They’d taken a ball of rubber bands, stuffed it in one of Ben’s old socks, and tied a knot in the end.
She shook her head and caught herself smiling. They’d spent the day picnicking in the meadow, tossing Jasmine’s toy for her to fetch, playing tug-of-war—Jazzie and Gina against Ben; the three of them wrestling on a picnic blanket, and napping after lunch. Jasmine had been so worn out, Ben had carried her the whole way home. Not that he seemed to mind. He never minded anything, even when Gina picked fights, teased him, or when Jasmine cried to go out in the middle of the night. She couldn’t remember one time when Ben hadn’t been smiling. He made everything fun, even doing nothing wasn’t boring if Ben was there. God, she missed him.
Gina just needed to get Ben Walsh out of her head. She took a quick shower and dressed in loose shorts and a T-shirt before crawling into the unmade bed. She picked up the copy of Pride and Prejudice that had somehow ended up in her luggage. She’d have to return it to Ben. It was his mother’s book, and it didn’t look as if Joe saved many of her things for Ben. Maybe she’d stick it in the mail because, as far as she was concerned, she never wanted to see Ben again. It would hurt too much. She wondered how anything could hurt more than it did right now.
Opening the book, she saw Ben’s mother’s inscription and was shocked to see Gina Reyez-Walsh written below Elizabeth Walsh’s name. A note fell out and landed on her leg. She unfolded the paper and bit her lip.
Gina~
You’ve made the ranch a home again and filled my life with laughter. I’m so glad the ranch was where we started our family—you, Jasmine, and me.
It’s only right that this is passed down to you, and maybe someday, our daughter.
You have all my love~
Ben
She put the note back in the book, held it close to her chest, and cried into her pillow. How could he know just what to say to inflict the most pain?
***
Ben rolled out of bed when he heard his grandfather stomping around and growling. Damn it. He pulled on a pair of jeans and opened his door. “What’s wrong now?” He’d had just about enough of his grandfather. He thought that after a week, Gramps would be on his way home, but he showed no signs of leaving.
“It’s about time you got up. It’s after noon. You’re as bad as Kate; you won’t cook a damn thing. I would have stayed home if I knew all I’d have to eat were beans.”
“There are thousands of restaurants. Get takeout if you’re not happy with the food.”
“What food? All you have left in your refrigerator is ketchup. When was the last time you went grocery shopping?”
“Before I left for Idaho. Call the market if you want, they deliver. Just leave me alone.”
Gramps turned and walked toward him. Ben took a step back. He hadn’t seen Gramps that mad since he was a kid.
“You have done nothing for the last week. If you’re so broken up about losing your wife, why don’t you get off your ass and do something about it? You’re not going to get her back pacing your room and drinking yourself into oblivion.”
Ben had had enough. “If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be in this position.”
“If it weren’t for me, you never would have married Gina in the first place or spent enough time with her to fall in love. You should be thanking me instead of blaming me for your failure. I can’t believe you’re giving up on Gina and your marriage. I thought I raised you to be a better man.”
Ben shook his head. “You don’t understand.”
Gramps looked even madder now. “Boy, I’ve been walking this earth for eighty years. I understand more than you’ll ever know. I understand you’ll get nowhere in this world burying yourself in a bottle. I understand if you love Gina, really love her, you’d never give up on her or your relationship. I understand the only thing that counts in the end is the love you’ve shared through your life. I don’t want to die knowing you and Gina are both alone. I love that little lady. You need to go and get your wife. Do whatever it takes to make her see she can’t live without you.”
Ben sat down on his bed. “That’s the thing, Gramps, Gina has no problem living without me.”
Gramps sat beside Ben on his unmade bed. “Right, I’d bet everything I own that Gina is having as hard a time living without you as you are living without her. That girl is in love with you, Ben. You’re just too stupid to see beyond your own nose right now.”
“She looked me in the eye and told me to get the hell out of her life.”
“So? You pissed her off, you hurt her, and you left her. Leaving was your biggest mistake. Gina’s had a hard life. She’s never been able to count on anyone and by you leaving, you showed her she can’t rely on you. You did the one thing Gina will have the hardest time forgiving. Now all you have to do is figure out how to get back into her good graces. It ain’t gonna be easy, but nothing’s as important as true love is.”
Gramps patted his back and stood.
“Get up, take a shower, shave, and go buy us some food. Once we’ve eaten a decent meal, we’ll put our heads together and figure out a way to get your wife back.”
Ben wanted to tell him it was useless. He’d spent the last week thinking about nothing else, and still hadn’t come up with a plan. He always had a plan. But Gramps would never acknowledge defeat. Saying anything would be a waste of breath. “I’ll get up and go for a run. I haven’t done anything all week, so maybe a good run will help. After I get back, I’ll shower, change, and go shopping. Sound fair?”
Gramps nodded. “Sounds like a plan, unfortunately, not a plan that will get me something more than beans for lunch, but that’s fine. I can stand one more meal of beans if you promise me you’ll make something good for dinner.”
“I promise. Think about what you want while I’m gone.” Ben watched his grandfather leave, closing the door behind him. The last thing Ben wanted to do was run, which meant it was probably the best thing he could do to get himself out of this funk. He got dressed, hooked up his heart monitor, and headed out.
Joe watched Ben leave. He’d finally gotten through to the boy. He was too stubborn for his own good. Joe went back to the kitchen and tried to open a can of beans but for some reason, he was having a hard time. It took him three tries with the electric can opener, and the pain in his arm made it difficult to hold the can as he emptied it into the pan. Getting old was a bitch, getting ancient was even worse.
***
Gina’s phone rang and she considered ignoring it but answered it anyway. “Yeah?”
“Gina? It’s Annabelle Larsen, is Ben there?”
“No. Why would he be here?”
“Look, I need to find him. His grandfather is on his way to Columbia Presbyterian Hospital. I think he’s had a heart attack.”
Gina almost dropped her phone. “Oh my God.” She jumped out of bed. “Okay, I’m on my way. I do
n’t know where Ben is. Did you try his cell?” She couldn’t stop shaking.
“Yeah, I heard it ringing in the apartment. He must have forgotten it.”
Gina pulled off her shorts and stepped into a pair of jeans. “Keep trying him. I’ll call the rest of the family, and I’ll be there in a little while. Are you with Joe now?”
“No. I couldn’t leave the gallery. I called Mike, he’s going to meet him in the ER.”
Gina threw a top over her head, stepped into her shoes, grabbed her purse, and ran for the door. “I’m leaving now. Thanks for calling me, Annabelle.”
Gina ran down the stairs as Tina stepped out of the kitchen. “Where are you going?”
“Grandpa Joe is on his way to the hospital. They think it’s a heart attack.”
Tina put her hand on her hip. “And you’re going to the hospital?”
“Of course I am. I didn’t even know Gramps was in town. Ben is out and forgot his phone.”
Tina nodded. “I’ll get Sam up. He can drive you.”
Gina shook her head. “No time, I’ll grab a cab.” She gave Tina a hug. “Just take care of Jasmine for me.”
“Sure, call me.”
Gina ran down the stoop and up the block. When she spotted a cab, she stuck her fingers between her lips, and whistled. Thank God, the cab screeched to a halt. She jumped into the back seat. “Columbia Presbyterian Hospital on the double. I’ll give you an extra hundred if you break the land speed record.”
The cabby took off and Gina was flung against the seat back. “Hey, Gina, what’s the rush?”
She looked up at the cabby. “Oh Carlos, I’m so glad it’s you. My husband’s grandfather had a heart attack. I have to get there quick.”
Carlos slammed on the brakes and turned to look at her. Gina managed to catch the seat in front of her before she slammed into the Plexiglas partition.
“You got married? When the hell was that?”
“You remember the last time I saw you?”
“Yeah, when I asked you out?”