by Liv Brywood
“—I just want to make sure she knows what she’s doing. I don’t know her at all and I’m trusting her to take my blood and possibly operate on me. I’ll be dammed if I don’t get to ask her a few questions.”
The doctor held up her hands. “Hang on. He has a perfectly reasonable question.”
Brady huffed. “So, do you normally try to scare the shit out of your patients, or is that honor reserved for me?”
“Brady!”
Dr. Landry smiled. “It’s okay. I’ve encountered all kinds of reactions from patients over the years. There isn’t much that you could do, say, or ask that I haven’t already heard. It’s perfectly understandable to be nervous.”
“I’m not nervous,” Brady snapped.
Rachel rolled her eyes but kept her comments to herself. She couldn’t risk having him back out now.
Dr. Landry said, “Let’s go to an exam room and we’ll draw some blood. I can tell you more about the procedure while we do that.”
Brady shoved out of his chair and stood impatiently by the door. Rachel glanced at Dr. Landry, who flashed her a subtle look that said, Don’t worry, I’ll take care of him.
Dr. Landry led them to the exam room. “Would you like her to wait outside?”
Rachel opened her mouth to protest but before she could say anything, Brady shook his head no.
“She can come in.”
After breathing a sigh of relief, she followed them into the room. Brady rolled up his sleeve while the doctor prepared a tray of wicked-looking needles and test tubes.
Dr. Landry said, “You’ll feel a pinch but that’s about it. While I’m drawing your blood, I need to tell you about the risks associated with the surgery.”
Brady said, “I already looked them up online. I could have bleeding complications or even die. I’m well aware of what can happen, but I’m willing to take the risk.”
Rachel looked up to find Brady staring directly at her. The expression on his face wasn’t friendly. He was still clearly pissed that she’d kept Jimmy a secret and that he had to go through a dangerous medical procedure to try to save him. Or maybe he was just pissed at her for being in his life. She dropped her gaze to the floor. How would she ever get him to forgive her?
Dr. Landry said, “Because you’re a shifter, I’m going to have to administer a drug to keep you from shifting during the operation. Provided you’re a match, of course.”
“Of course,” he parroted.
She continued as if he hadn’t spoken. “If you shift mid-procedure, you’ll put yourself and all of the staff at risk. You could die. We could die. So to prevent that from happening, I’d like your permission to give you the drug today. Wait until tomorrow morning, then try to shift. If you can shift, then we’ll have a problem.”
“Sounds reasonable,” Rachel said.
Brady grunted.
The doctor unlocked a refrigerated cabinet and retrieved a syringe filled with milky liquid. “This one might hurt a bit. Rachel, come over and hold his hand.”
Both Rachel and Brady whipped their gazes toward the doctor then at each other.
“NO!” they said simultaneously.
Dr. Landry chuckled. “Okay. I guess it’s enough that you’re both able to be civil to each other and that you’re working together to help Jimmy.”
Rachel groaned. Brady was going to kill her for revealing their estranged relationship to the doctor. Oh well, she’d deal with that during the two-hour drive home, a drive she already dreaded.
The second the needle penetrated Brady’s arm, and he growled. The hair on his body started to grow and a few telltale pops sounded along his back.
Rachel jumped up and took his hand. “Hang on, she’s almost done. You can’t shift now.”
His eyes morphed from chocolate brown to dark mahogany. “You owe me, big time.”
“I’ll make it up to you, I swear.”
He snarled and for a moment, Rachel wasn’t convinced he’d be able to stop the momentum of the shift. But when the doctor pulled the needle from his arm, he stilled. The fire in his eyes died and the gentle warmth returned.
Rachel dropped his hand and stepped back. “See, that wasn’t so bad.”
He rolled his sleeve down over the Band-Aid and jumped off the table. “Are we done?”
Dr. Landry said, “We are for now. I’ll test your blood and call you with the results. If it’s a match, we can start the pre-procedure medication immediately.”
“Let me know the minute you have the results,” Brady said.
“I will.”
“He’d better be a match,” Rachel said under her breath.
Apparently Brady had heard it because he responded. “For your sake, my DNA had better match Jimmy’s.”
***
Brady slowed the truck as he drove up a small grade on the way back to West Yellowstone. He hated doctors’ offices and couldn’t imagine what life had been like for Rachel during the past two years. He was still pissed that she hadn’t told him about Jimmy, but he couldn’t help but be a little sympathetic to the hell she must have gone through with him.
He grappled with how to tell her that he was sorry he hadn’t been there for her. Then he realized that she was the reason he hadn’t been there. Still, the part of him that had loved her all those years ago wanted to do something to comfort her.
“When we get back, do you think I could see my son?” he asked.
She rubbed her hands together in front of the heater vent. “He was afraid of you the other night.”
“Because I was yelling?”
“Yes. He’s just a kid and he’s fragile right now. I can’t have you upsetting him.”
“I’m sorry. I was shocked and mad. Really mad.”
“I know. I don’t know what I can do to make things better right now.”
As he navigated around a curve in the snow-covered mountain pass, he wrestled with the decision to forgive her. He wasn’t ready yet. If he did it now, it wouldn’t be the truth. But he also didn’t want his son to feel the tension between them, so he’d have to at least compromise for now.
“Let’s just get through the next few days and see where things are. I can’t think about anything but Jimmy’s health.”
“I get it,” she said.
“Have you told Jimmy about me?”
“I just told him that his daddy was away on a long trip.”
“How long were you going to continue telling him that lie?”
“Until he was old enough to understand that two people can love each other a lot and then one day all that love just…disappears.”
His heart skipped a beat. “It didn’t disappear.”
“It didn’t?”
The hopefulness in her tone struck him like an arrow. After all this time, did she still love him? Even with everything that had happened? And even more importantly, did he still love her?
“You can be really mad at someone and still care about them,” he admitted.
She turned to face him. “After Jimmy’s operation, I think we should talk.”
He sighed. “I don’t know if I can trust you again.”
“I know I’ll have to earn it back.”
He nodded but couldn’t get the lump out of his throat. Fortunately, the town came into view and saved him from having to further discuss the tenuous nature of their relationship. He drove through the quiet streets and pulled into the parking lot behind the bakery.
He spotted her car parked near the back of the lot. “Looks like you got your car fixed.”
“Mom has a friend at the garage.”
“That’s good. She has a lot of friends in town. Everyone loves her.”
After jumping out of the truck, he hurried around to the passenger door and opened it. Rachel’s shocked face helped lighten the mood.
He chuckled. “I can’t have you falling out of the truck flat on your face. What would our son think about me then?”
She smiled as he grabbed her waist and hoisted her to the ground. His h
ands lingered on her hips a few seconds longer than necessary. Warmth spread up his arms to fill his body with a hot awareness that he couldn’t deny. Liar or not, she was still the sexiest woman alive. Images of her prone, naked body flashed through his mind. When he’d laid her down on the bed two nights ago, he’d wanted to devour every inch of her perfection. Now, he wanted to carry her back to his bed and kiss every quivering curve of her pliant flesh.
He dropped his hands to his sides and shook his head to clear it. He couldn’t keep indulging in fantasies about getting her wet, naked, and willing. At least not right now. He couldn’t afford to get distracted when he had so much more at stake.
As she climbed the stairs to her mom’s apartment, his bear roared with approval. He licked his lips and jammed his hands into his pockets. Already semi-erect, he didn’t want to walk into June’s house with a huge hard-on and lust in his eyes.
Rachel held her hand up to knock but paused. “I don’t think we should tell Jimmy that you’re his dad yet. We don’t want to confuse him right now. He has enough to deal with already.”
He grudgingly agreed. “All right, but after he recovers, I want him to know.”
“He’ll know. I promise.”
He wasn’t sure how much her promises meant anymore, so he’d have to trust her for now. “Okay.”
She knocked on the door. June opened it. Her flour-streaked cheeks plumped up as she grinned and waved them in with oven-mitt-covered hands “You’re right on time. The last batch of cookies are coming out of the oven right now.”
Inside the home, a timer beeped furiously.
“I have to grab them before they burn,” she said as she hurried into the kitchen.
Jimmy sat at the small dining room table. Plates of Christmas cookies in all shapes and sizes decorated the table. Jimmy shoved half of an angel-shaped cookie into his mouth. When he looked up, his eyes widened with fear.
Brady silently cursed himself for acting like a jerk in front of his son. Now he’d have to win the child’s affection.
“What kind of angel are you eating?” Brady asked.
“Chocolate chip.” As he spoke, crumbs spewed from his mouth to bounce across the table. Bits of colored sugar and sprinkles covered his tiny hands.
“Are you having fun decorating?”
“Yeah,” he said slowly as if unsure of whether or not he could trust Brady.
“Do you think I could decorate one?” Brady asked.
“Okay.”
Jimmy pushed a Christmas tree-shaped sugar cookie toward him. “Do you want sprinkles or stars?”
Brady slid into the chair next to Jimmy. “Can I use both?”
Jimmy frowned as if considering his request. “Namma said I can only use one kind on each cookie.”
Brady flicked his gaze to June. “Your grandma’s right. You’ve made some really nice cookies. I like the angels and the Christmas trees. Which one is your favorite?”
“Gingerbread man!”
Brady picked up one of the gingerbread cookies and held it as if he was about to chomp on it. “He looks tasty.”
Jimmy giggled. “Don’t bite off his head.”
“Where should I bite first?”
“His arms, silly.”
Brady laughed as he bit the arm off the cookie. He chewed with exaggeration while pops of cinnamon, nutmeg, and clove danced across his tongue. After he’d swallowed the delicious cookie he said, “I think we need some milk.”
“Yeah!”
With the palm of his hand, Brady rubbed Jimmy’s head. “I’ll be right back, tiger.”
“I’m not a tiger.”
He grinned. “You’re right. You’re more like a bear.”
At that, Jimmy scrunched his hands into claws and growled. He broke off into fits of giggles. From the kitchen, June joined in the laughter.
As Brady turned the corner to walk into the kitchen, Rachel stood with her back to him. Her palms pressed against the countertop as if she needed it to hold herself up. Quiet sobs wracked her body.
“Hey,” he walked up behind her and gently laid his hand on her back. “What’s going on?”
June opened the fridge to get a gallon of milk. After pouring two glasses, she left the kitchen to join Jimmy in the dining room.
As soon as they were alone, Brady rubbed his hand across her back. “What’s going on? Talk to me.”
She sniffed and pushed off the counter. She wiped tears from her eyes. “It’s just…seeing you together. I can’t help but think about what it might have been like had we stayed together.”
He gathered her into his arms. “I’m here now.”
“Are you?” She looked up through tear-soaked eyes.
“I am.” He pulled her against his chest and stroked her hair slowly. He would have given anything to be able to take her pain away, but he had no idea how to help.
“He can’t die,” she whispered.
“He won’t. The second the doctor confirms I’m a good match, we’ll go back to the hospital and do the procedure.”
“It’s so risky.”
“Tomorrow morning, I’ll try to shift. If I can’t, then we should be okay. The doctor seems to know what she’s doing. If you trust her, I trust her.”
She pulled back slightly. “I don’t know how to thank you.”
With the pad of his thumb, he wiped a tear from her cheek. “I just want to see you smile again.”
June cleared her throat as she walked back into the room. “If you guys need some time alone, I can watch Jimmy again.”
“I don’t want to put you out,” Rachel said.
“Are you kidding? I hardly ever get to see my grandson. Maybe I’ll take him Christmas shopping tonight.”
Brady glanced out the window at the growing darkness. “It’s probably too cold to take him out and stores will be closing soon.”
June said, “You’re probably right. I guess I can watch that cartoon bear movie again.”
“He loves that movie.”
Brady puffed up his chest. “I’m glad you’re teaching him a bit about bears.”
Rachel said, “I didn’t want him to be shocked later in life, so I thought I’d at least get him to like bears while he’s young.”
“Good idea.” He turned to June. “If you really don’t mind taking him, I think it would be good for Rachel and me to spend some time together. We have a lot of catching up to do.”
June smiled knowingly. “Just be sure to have her back first thing in the morning. I can’t leave all the pie-making to my assistant. It’s too much work for one person.”
“I’ll make sure she’s home by sunrise.”
He looped his arm around Rachel’s waist. “Let’s get going before you turn into a pumpkin.”
She flashed a wicked smile. “Just don’t turn me into pumpkin pie.”
Chapter 7
Rachel stood at the window in her hotel room. When Brady came up behind her, she sighed and relaxed against his solid warmth. “Another storm’s rolling in.”
He set his chin on the top of her head. “Where did we go wrong?”
“I let my ego get in the way. I was so hurt when you told me you were leaving.”
“I was hurt that you didn’t support my decision. I had to go. But sometimes… I wish I hadn’t.”
She turned slowly to face him. “What happened while you were over there?”
“I don’t like talking about it.”
He released her and walked over to the bed to sit. She crossed the room to sit next to him. Outside, wind whipped through skeletal branches. Solid chunks of snow fell from the roof to land in the growing snowdrift on the side of the motel. Even with Brady in the room, a sense of loneliness overwhelmed her.
He spoke softly. “When I joined the Marines, I knew I’d see action in the Middle East. But it’s nothing like they’re reporting on TV. It’s dirty, hot, and sand gets into places you wouldn’t dream of. I think I’m still shaking sand out of every nook and cranny.”
She laced her fingers through his. “Was it worth going?”
“I’m glad I went to defend my country, but I wish I could forget the things I’ve seen.”
Rachel said, “I thought about you every day since you left. Every time I look at Jimmy, I see your face.”
“Why couldn’t we work things out that night?” he whispered.
“We just weren’t honest with each other. I should have told you about Jimmy.”
“When did you find out?”
She sighed. He wasn’t going to like this, but she couldn’t bring herself to tell him another lie. “I went to tell you the night you told me you were leaving.”
“You knew that night and you didn’t tell me?” His voice broke.
“I wanted to. I almost did. But then you told me that you wanted to leave and I was shocked. I didn’t want you to have to make the choice between your obsessive need to join the Marines and your child. I didn’t want you to end up resenting him and hating me. I couldn’t stand the thought of you leaving, but I also couldn’t stand the thought of you rejecting our baby. I wasn’t willing to take the chance.”
He squeezed her hand. “I hate to admit it because I’m still mad that you kept this from me, but I’m beginning to understand why. I was fixated on joining up, but I would have stayed with you had I known.”
“But can you honestly say that you wouldn’t have resented us?”
He shook his head. “I don’t know.”
As Rachel listened to the patter of snowflakes on the window, she wondered how they could move forward. They’d both been hurt by the choices they’d made. But could they find a way to rebuild their relationship? Did he even want to?
She turned to ask him. In the same moment he twisted to face her. His lips were only a few inches away and she needed something to take away the pain. A deep longing rose up from her soul as she searched his face for any sign that he also needed to be comforted. What she saw in his eyes stole her breath.
He leaned closer. “Can you forgive me for leaving?”
She studied the gentle look in his eyes before responding. “Can you forgive me?”
As he brushed a kiss across her lips, she sighed. It felt as if the whole world sighed with her. His hands glided across her thighs as he reached for her. She leaned into him and let him lower her to the bed.