by Serena Light
That week Serafina spent enveloped in her parent's love; allowing them to remain at her home - not that they had given her much of a choice - and helped her through the emotional turmoil which had been weighing down on her. Her brothers, Arsenio and Marco had even come to visit along with Angelica and Arsenio's 2 and 4-year-old daughters, Irene and Aurora.
She loved her little nieces and the way they were always so open and honest about everything. Serafina remembers laughing when the 4-year-old came to her lying figure, looked at her face and said: "You look ugly". Her father had begun to admonish her, but Serafina had just laughed, telling her niece she felt "pretty ugly" too.
She watched her parents call Salvatore once or twice, asking him to drop by, but he always made an excuse along the lines of business to take care of or travel. Serafina did not have the heart to tell her parents that their son was the man behind her state, and by the looks of it, neither was he.
Admittedly, she did miss her twin, because bickering with him was an entirely different experience, but even if she missed him, she would not forgive him.
For the one week, her parents were with her, and Serafina had to wonder, who told her father. Definitely not Salvatore; Arsenio and Marco had no idea, and all her guard were terrified of the Regnante...all but one Alessio Romano.
It suddenly occurred that she hadn't seen, nor heard from him in a while and she couldn't question for his whereabouts given that her parents would definitely deny it.
They liked that boy just as much as they had liked his father.
Alessio spent 10 days in France, visiting old relatives and even older friends. He felt good to get away from everything and sometimes wondered if his mother had been right to try and convince them out of the Mafia life. But it didn't matter now, given that he had been part of the Regnante household for almost 4 years, and knew too much to just be up and gone.
He had landed back in Italy last night and was currently getting ready for his day shift as Serafina Regnante's bodyguard. Getting dressed in a full black suit with an overcoat, he pulled on his favorite pair of gloves before stepping out into the snowing November of Tuscany. Alessio watched his breath fog up before he stepped into his car, stopping at a café to get his substitute and partner a cup of coffee, something to warm them all.
As he neared Serafina's house, Alessio's stomach churned and the hair at his nape stood to attention, already knowing it was a bad idea to return here. He knew he couldn't work for her anymore. Deep in his gut, he had known for 2 years that he shouldn't be working for her anymore, but his heart had refused to allow him to leave, and now, he didn't have much of a choice.
The only reason he had come in today was to inform her of his resignation. He had come to this conclusion after spending time with his mother and talking to her and then having gone to his father's grave the night he landed, just to tell him everything.
"Hey!" Theo grinned from across the road when his partner caught sight of Alessio with coffee cups in hand. "Glad to have you back,"
Alessio had just smiled at them when he handed the beverage to him and the guy who was his temporary substitute. The two drank it greedily; relieved to have something that would keep them warm in the 7 a.m. chill. The three interacted for a bit, bringing Alessio up to date with what happened as he nodded in relief to know that her parents had been here. Soon the substitute left as Theo instantly grinned at the older man.
"So..." He urged.
"So?" Alessio knitted his eyebrows in confusion.
"Who's the girl?"
"Girl?"
"The one you went to visit in France! Come on man!"
The older man looked at him in amusement, realizing that this poor boy had a horrible misunderstanding regarding his visit to France.
"Oh, her," He played along. "Well, she has a wonderful personality, petite and a tad bit older than me,"
"How old we talking?"
"Roughly..." Alessio trailed. "26 years."
"26 years?!" Theo spluttered incoherently, the older man smacking him on top of the head.
"I went home to my mother, idiot!"
"Ow," The younger guard rubbed at the abused area, pouting up at him. "You could have just said so,"
"What made you think I went to visit a girlfriend or something?"
"People were saying,"
"People were saying wrong," Alessio shook his head. "Don't always believe what you hear,"
Serafina awoke at 8 a.m. shivering in the cold of the interior, realizing her heating was turned off. Shuffling out of bed, she turned it on, humming in content when her house began to warm up. Making her way towards the kitchen, she poured herself a cup of coffee, sipping at the hot beverage and pouring a bowl of cereal, feeling a lot better after the one week of parental therapy.
Her family suggested she go to Paolo's grave, put a rest to him once and for all, but she had shaken her head, saying she didn't feel strong enough to go there. She hadn't even attended his funeral, much too distraught to be able to. Her mother suggested she should have been there; it would have made things easier.
Serafina did not know if the funeral would have made things easier or not, but she knew she wasn't emotionally ready to visit his grave - not alone at least.
Shaking the thought out of her head, she put away her dishes, washing them before making her way to the entrance foyer. Looking out, her gaze caught the snowy exterior, pulling the curtains aside; she was momentarily surprised to see the figure in black, instantly recognizing it to be Alessio. At the sight of him, the memory of his actions came rushing back to her and forced her to clench her teeth.
Pulling the front of her cardigan closer to her, she opened her door, her body prickling at the cold.
"Romano," She called down the porch, Alessio and Theo turning around to see her standing in the doorway. "Come here."
Giving a look to his partner, he made his way towards her, stepping inside when she gestured for him to move ahead. Halting in the center of the foyer, he followed after her when she walked towards the lounge. Before Alessio could register anything, she whirled around, her palm connecting with his cheek, the sound reverberating through the lounge as Alessio took a step back at the suddenness, shock evident on his face when he brought a woolen clad hand to touch the abused area.
"How dare you," She seethed, Alessio looking at her in silence, anger brewing inside him as he swallowed back the emotions, standing to attention before her. "How dare you go to my parents and tell them what I was doing,"
"Just following order, ma'am," He stated monotonously.
"Whose orders?"
"Boss's,"
"You work for me-"
"-No," He shook his head with a humorless chuckle. "I work for your brother who has assigned me to you. I don't work for you,"
"You still had no fucking right going telling to my parents of my actions!"
"Why? Were they disappointed in what their daughter ended up to be?" He taunted, Serafina slapped him once more as Alessio gritted his teeth to reign in the temper that just wanted to unleash itself.
"Shut up," She warned him. "One more word and I will fire you,"
"No need for that, I only came today to tell you I'm resigning,"
"Oh! Wonderful! Now my brother can go and kill you too!" Serafina threw her hands up with sarcasm, Alessio digging his fingernails into his palm.
It was common knowledge when a guard - who was personally assigned to one of the Regnante's - resigns, he gets killed due to the intimate knowledge they possess of the family.
"As if it matters to you," Alessio scoffed at her words, his heart aching to say the truth.
"You're right," Serafina took a step away from him. "It doesn't matter to me, as a matter of fact, you never mattered to me. I always found you so utterly naïve and stupid, I had to wonder how you were working for the likes of my brother."
Alessio stood to attention before her, a mask of indifference across his face as he knew it wasn't worth wasting his breath over.
"A
nd God, you were in love with me for 2 years!" She cackled. "How pathetic,"
"I should have had you replaced long ago; I should have killed you myself!" She yelled at him, Alessio's heart beginning to ache in his chest at her words, but he wouldn't let her see how much control she actually had over him. "You're right, I just used you. I used you to forget about the pain I suffered from losing the one man I loved and will always love. You never even stood a chance! You've known me for 3 years? Yeah, he knew me for 7. Try and beat that. You can't, can you?"
"It's all your and your brother's fault I lost my husband! I could have been living happily with him right now if it wasn't for your fucking brother-"
"-Can you really be happy with a man who just wanted you when he needed something from you?" Alessio asked in a chilling voice, Serafina's words died in her throat as she stared at him in shock. "You think I am stupid? Then look me in the eyes, and tell me he has never raised a hand on you. Look me in the eyes, and tell me he never deliberately hurt you and you still forgave him because you were so in love with the notion of loving him that it didn't matter if he cut you, or bruised you, or gave you emotional pain. It didn't matter that he just saw your name and not you for you. You were his ticket to rule the world-"
She seemed to have had enough at his words as she raised her hand again to slap him once more, but having anticipated such a move, he grabbed hold of her wrist, holding it tightly as she tried to struggle free.
"Who's the stupid one now?" His anger too much for him to control himself. "Don't try and fool me. I know you better than your own husband ever did. When I got reassigned to you, I saw the conflict and doubt in your eyes, you were constantly asking yourself 'do I really want this? Do I really want to spend the rest of my life with this man?'."
"Shut up!"
"You were going to say no at the altar."
"Shut up!"
"I know it."
"Alessio-"
"-Look me in the eyes and tell me I am wrong." Alessio raised his voice over her's, forcing her to grit her teeth; squirming to get out of his grasp. "Look me in the eyes and tell me I am wrong,"
"You're wrong," She choked out, a smile forming on Alessio's lips to see the conflict brewing in her blue eyes. Lowering his gaze to her feet, he saw them turned away from him and knew she was lying. She always turned her feet away from the person she was lying to.
"Liar," He exclaimed, his hand suddenly wrapped around her neck as she gasped at the action, her fingers coiling around his wrist as she glared at him. "Despite having known me for 3 years, you never understood how much I fucking hate liars." Alessio tightened his grasp around her neck a little, leaning down so that they were mere inches apart.
"What are you going to do, huh?" Serafina taunted, her teeth gritted as her blue eyes regarded him with anger.
"Oh, I could do so much to you," Alessio hissed, their voices lowering as his gaze fell on her lips, both his and Serafina's breathing becoming erratic. "I could snap your neck," He leaned closer to her lips.
"You wouldn't have it in you," She gasped as his hold tightened a little, heat enveloping her body as she didn't find it threatening, his hand clutching her neck made her rather aroused. "There isn't anything you can do me, Romano,"
"Wanna bet on that, Regnante?" Alessio smirked, suddenly pushing her back, forcing a gasp out of her as she stumbled, colliding with the kitchen counter. "It's like you want me to do something to you," He growled, momentarily releasing his hold on her neck to remove his coat.
"You have such interesting misconceptions," Serafina gritted out, her eyes hard as she could feel the anger and arousal radiating off him, her hands flying to his belt to remove it.
"Oh, no, no, no," He chuckled at her, grabbing her hands before turning her around, roughly slamming her into the counter. "You just shut up and take it,"
Serafina licked her lips at his rough tone, hearing the clinking of his belt before gasping as he slid her pajama down to her ankles, goosebumps forming across her bare skin at the cold, grunting when he spanked her.
"You've always had a talent for pissing me off,"
"You're the one with anger management issues," Serafina's words morphed into a squeak when he roughly slammed into her without warning.
He was relentless and brutal in his thrusts, half of Serafina's body pressed against the counter as Alessio held her down by the back of her neck. She clutched onto the edge, small whimpers of pain escaping her, morphing with the groans of pleasure as his roughness only had her stomach twist into knots, her body warm beneath his and her breath came out in short pants, Alessio himself was breathless with sweat beading his forehead.
"You're an absolute whore," He groaned between his thrusts forcing Serafina to bite her lip at the husky sound of his voice. "Sleeping with different guys, one after another, but you always return to me, what does that say?"
"Fuck you," Serafina gasped and arched into him when he hit the spot.
"Oh, baby," He laughed breathlessly. "I'm the one fucking you,"
"Ah!" Serafina moaned and Alessio covered her mouth to keep her quiet.
"Do you react like this with the other boys, huh?" He hissed into her ear, leaning down so that his body was pressed into hers. "Can they do all the things that I can do to you? Do they pleasure you as I do? I doubt it, they're little boys after all, right? What do they know about pleasuring a girl?" He grunted.
With a groan, Alessio increased his pace, feeling closer to his release, Serafina moaning into his hand with tears gathering at the edge of her eyes at the sensations he was causing, her body tingling to life, her heart beating erratically in her chest.
A guttural growl escaped him as he released, her eyes rolling back as he collapsed on top of her, his hand covering her own on the counter.
The only sound that infiltrated the house was that of their heavy breaths. Taking a moment to regain his composure, Alessio pulled out of her, pulling up his slacks and fixing his appearance as he watched Serafina do the same, the distance between them so tangible that it almost felt like they both were on opposite ends of the world.
The silence like a suffocating veil between them.
"Tell me, how did you do it?" Alessio swallowed thickly, his chest feeling heavy as if though someone put an elephant on him.
"Do what?" She demanded over her shoulder, anger still evident from her stance, but her eyes were soft and aching.
"How did you leave me like I was nothing? I was hopelessly in love with you. I smiled every time I got a text from you. It seems just like yesterday. Everything ended so fast, why?" Alessio asked her quietly, his anger gone and replaced by a broken smile. Her own anger slowly fading away as she looked away from him, guilt makings its way up her throat. Serafina swallowed the lump when his warm hands cupped her cheek, turning her to look back at him, his green eyes pleading her for answers. "The way you talked to me, and the way you looked at me...I thought what we had was special. I actually thought you cared. Maybe if you didn't, you knew very well that I did. I cared, and I do still. I could have helped you through it all, I could have been whatever you needed me to be, and I wouldn't have fought it as long as you were doing better. But you weren't, and I had no choice but to tell your father because you weren't mine anymore."
"I stayed with you for so long throughout the bullshit because I was torn between not giving up on the person I fell in love with, and coming to terms with the fact that the person I loved no longer existed inside of the body that I was staring at every day; and I don't give a fuck what anyone says...that's really difficult and painful thing to wrap your brain around. It takes a while to believe it."
"Get out," Serafina spoke in a low voice, pulling away from his hold and watching the quivering soft smile on his face despite the way his lungs were collapsing in on themselves.
"But the truth is, baby girl," Alessio spoke over his shoulder, making his way towards the door. "I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, most beautiful and purest
love in the world. Not only to be loved by others but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "yes, this is exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all you know. The whole world. And you should never forget that..."
"Because in the end, I could never wish ill upon my soul mate," He murmured in French, knowing she wouldn't understand it as he opened the door and stepped out. The momentary chill he had allowed inside ceasing with a click.
Serafina's fingers trembled as she swallowed the lump in her throat, knowing she had been nothing but mean to him. The man who would gladly risk his life for her's even now. After everything she had put him through, months of torture, and here he was wishing the best for her while she had wished nothing but death upon him and his brother.
All for what?
Following orders.
Releasing a shaky breath, Serafina braced herself against the kitchen counter, knowing that even if she wanted to fix this, it was much too late for it all. Because the truth was, even if she hated Alessio for his brother's actions, she couldn't deny all the feelings that had flowed through her when they were together.
A knock sounded on the double doors, Salvatore standing by the window and looking out at the snowing terrain with a cup of coffee in hand.
"Come in," He called, expecting it to be his second in command, momentarily taken aback to see a distraught Alessio Romano in his office. "Everything alright?"
"I'd like to resign from the post of Serafina Regnante's bodyguard," Alessio told him calmly, trying his hardest to keep his voice from shaking with the emotional storm brewing inside him.
"May I ask why?"
"I'd rather not say, sir," The older man cleared his throat, fidgeting in his spot. "However, if you were to order, I would not deny."
"Resigning..." His boss trailed, rubbing his forehead. "Or would you like to be reassigned?"
Alessio thought for a moment, weighing the pros and cons of both and then the probability of him being reassigned to an entirely new field, or to someone else.