by Serena Light
She had always known he had loved her, yet never believed it until it was all gone away.
Serafina stared up at the dark ceiling, the memory so fresh as if though it happened yesterday, but it didn't. Alessio was gone and she didn't know where he was or if she'd ever see him again.
She just wanted to see him again.
She wanted to see his adoring eyes again.
Or his smile for her.
Or the way he called her 'baby girl'.
She wanted to lie in his arms, hold him close and ask for his forgiveness.
But most of all...
She wanted to feel loved by him again.
Chapter XXVI: Something different
'Serafina' The contact name read, the man sitting with his gaze looking down at her contact details, even clicking open their exchange of messages as an ache spread through him, contemplating typing something or calling her.
"Coffee?" A voice brought him out of his reverie, tearing his misty green eyes from the phone screen, he was greeted by the sight of her smiling at him in amusement.
"Yeah, sure," He nodded after a moment, placing the device into his blazer's inside pocket. "Uh...two sugars and milk, please,"
Nodding to his words, the girl poured the coffee into two mugs, preparing his the way he liked it before handing it over to him with a soft smile, cocking her head towards the lounge.
Getting up from the barstool, Alessio's figure dwarfed her petite frame as he allowed her to lead him into her lounge. It was beautiful and cozy, he had no doubt, with medium brown wooden flooring, a white rug covering one portion of the floor as she had a sofa placed against the wall with one to its left, the window niche being a little sitting place of its own, and a cane hanging chair between the niche and the fireplace. The fireplace had a white and black tapestry hung on the wall above, family pictures, candles, and small decorations on the counter with floor cushions placed by the hearth.
She led him towards the window niche, settling on it cross-legged, Alessio seeing the bookshelves installed into the wall on either side, overflowing with books and pages as he sat down next to her, his back to the shelf.
"You said you lived with your sister, where is she?" He asked, taking a sip of the coffee, surprised at how good it tasted.
"Since she has a winter break, she decided to go on a trip with her friends." She swallowed. "What about you? You live with Niccolo?"
"No, no. I have a bachelor pad about 30 minutes' drive from here," Alessio nodded, momentarily looking out at the January snow covering the houses.
"A bachelor pad," She inquired with a raised eyebrow. "Very...masculine,"
A chuckle escaped Alessio at her words as she offered him a dimpled smile, getting up before returning with a tray of cookies.
"Why do you make so many cookies, Tia?" He bit into the crunchy gooey chocolate chip cookie, never being able to resist the temptation.
"Well, since I'm an elementary school teacher, I tend to deal with kids who are rather...rambunctious and often don't want to do work. So I started making cookies and told them that whoever does their work, or submits their homework, or does extra well in class will get a cookie. You know, as a method of positive reinforcement." Tatiana shrugged with a shy smile.
"Did it work?"
"Oh, like a charm," She exclaimed with a scoff, having Alessio chuckle at the way she said it, biting into another cookie, knowing that he would do anything to get one of her cookies. "Although, sorry if I'm intruding, but what is it that you do?"
"Well..." Alessio trailed, thinking of a way to explain to her what it is that he does. "I'm Mr. and Mrs. Regnante's housekeeper,"
"I have never seen a housekeeper show up for work dressed in a Gucci suit,"
Alessio shrugged before and put his coffee mug on the table, reaching into his blazer's pocket and retrieving a cigarette case.
"Is it okay?" He questioned Tatiana, holding up the packet.
"Yeah, sure." She waved dismissively, watching him place the cigarette between his lips and light it, taking a drag before exhaling the smoke into the air over his head.
"Why a housekeeper?"
"Sorry?" Alessio turned to her in confusion.
"Why a housekeeper?" She repeated. "You told me you served 2 years in the army before you went off to university and studied accounting and business administrations, right? Then how come you're a housekeeper with such qualifications,"
"Well..." He trailed, taking an inhale from the cigarette. "I hit a rough patch and wasn't able to find a job for my field and somehow ended up working for the Regnante's,"
Tatiana looked at him with a soft smile, shaking her head before giggling at his words, her chin-length hair bobbing with the movement.
"What?" He looked at her in bewilderment, his confusion growing when her giggles morphed into laughter. "What?" Alessio chuckled at her amusement, watching her move ahead and wrap her arms around his neck, placing a kiss on his cheek.
"You're a horrible liar," She giggled, one of his arms wrapped around her waist with the other keeping the cigarette away from her. "And lying is bad," Tatiana chastised, shifting to sit across his lap as he looked down at her, her brown eyes melting into amber with the sunlight pouring in and her pink lips pulled into a dimpled smile, showing off her white teeth.
"I'm not that bad at lying,"
"You're horrible at it," She threw her head back with a laugh.
The air around them felt light and easy-going as Alessio found it surprisingly easy to talk to her. Her non-threatening look, her small height, and the innocence on her face, it was all rather appealing and endearing. Standing at 5'1 she was a good 11 inches shorter than him, and Alessio had to admit, he found it cute.
As a matter of fact, he found her cute.
With the chin-length hazel hair and dark eyes that melted in the sunlight and that carefree dimpled smile, she gave everyone, her voice so soft and gentle that Alessio couldn't imagine her ever raising her voice at anyone. She had an amazing personality, very open and patient; she didn't judge anything and always thought the best of everyone.
"Hey, Alessio," Tatiana spoke up just as he was about to head back to the Regnante's house. "Are you free on the weekend?"
"This weekend?" He confirmed as she nodded. "Yeah, I'm free, why?"
"Because there is this art exhibition, and I have two tickets." She explained with a shy smile, stuffing her hands into her back pocket, getting on her tiptoes. "And I was wondering if you'd be interested in going?"
Alessio's heart begged him to say 'no', not over the pain of Serafina. But his mind knew, it was time to move on. And whenever it was a matter between the heart and mind, Alessio learned to side with his mind.
"I'd love to," He gave her a soft smile, being unable to stop the grin from spreading when she gave him a dimpled smile.
"Great, Saturday at 7,"
"I'll pick you up,"
With that, he walked across the street before making his way back to the house he worked at.
On Saturday, he arrived at Tatiana's house dressed in a blue texture woven two-piece suit with a woolen and silk cherry red tie, a dark grey overcoat on top with his hand covered by the grey gloves he wore. It was snowing when he stood outside her house, gently shuffling on his feet to keep warm as he pressed the doorbell.
A minute after having rung the bell, the door opened as Alessio hurried in, freezing to the bone.
"God! It's frigid out there," He shivered, his teeth chattering as he shook off the snow from his clothes.
Tatiana's giggles had him turn around, his mouth falling open at the sight of her.
"Wow." Alessio gasped, looking at her dressed in a sweetheart neckline navy blue jumpsuit with a chunky gold necklace, her hair pulled into a bun at the top of her head with a few strands left out to frame her face. She wore a light shade of pink on her lips as her wide eyes looked up at him.
"Is this fine?" She spread her arms for a second before meekly dropping them to her sides. "The
re is a blue coat with this and I thought it might be too much blue bu-"
"-You look beautiful, Tia" He cut short her rambling, Tatiana giving him a shy smile as she looked down, fidgeting with her fingers. "Really,"
"Th-thank you," She blushed, unable to meet his gaze. "You look quite handsome yourself,"
Hearing the compliment, Alessio looked down at himself, momentarily having forgotten what he had worn before thanking her with a smile. He helped her pull on her electric blue coat before opening the door, leading her to his car as they both settled into his BMW, Tatiana gasping in surprise when he handed her a bouquet of white roses. A wide smile overcame her face as she sniffed at the bouquet, her cheeks painted a light pink as they drove to the exhibition gallery.
"Oh, look at this one," Tatiana held his hand, leading him towards a painting that was orange and had lines drawing what was supposed to be a face. "Look at the way the painter has portrayed the image of himself, showing the diversity of a person and breaking the rules of the norm," She marveled, one hand intertwined with his while the other holding a glass of champagne.
"What do you think?" She turned towards Alessio.
In all honesty, to him, it looked like a little child tried to draw his mother but fell asleep halfway and drew the rest with his eyes closed.
"It's terrifying," He finally spoke, Tatiana laughing at his words. "Seriously,"
"Oh, it's lovely to finally find someone who accepts they don't know anything about art and are honest it what they think about it," She interlinked her arm through his, standing at 5'4 with her heels.
"Do I get a cookie for my honesty?" Alessio asked with a smile, looking down at her.
"You can have a whole batch of cookies," She laughed, leading them towards a statue of two men standing back to back.
As Tia explained to him what the statues meant, Alessio listened intently, utterly fascinated by how much one could learn through art. While she told him about the artist, her gaze drifted around the interior, her words stopping as she caught sight of someone familiar.
"Is..." She trailed, getting a better look at the person. "Is that Serafina?"
Alessio nearly spit out his drink, coughing as he swallowed it and looking to where Tatiana was pointing. She was right. It was Serafina Regnante, in the flesh, dressed in black slacks and a matching high-necked shirt under a white leather jacket, her black hair flowing behind her back with her gaze on the bubbled in the glass despite all the conversing people surrounding her.
"Let's go say hi," Tia insisted, about to drag Alessio towards her when he pulled away.
"I-uh...Excuse me, I have to go to the restroom," He rushed out turning the other way as he felt sick.
"Are you okay?" She took a step towards him, Alessio breath catching in his throat when Serafina caught sight of him, her blue eyes wide with surprise to see him. "You look pale,"
"Excuse me," He pulled away, briskly walking away and into the nearest restroom, his heart hammering in his chest as his stomach churned in unease, wanting to throw up the drink.
Tatiana stood watching him leave, a bit concerned but assured herself that he'd be alright. Turning around, she jumped back in fright to find Serafina standing before her.
"Oh! You scared me!" She laughed breathlessly, a hand on her chest.
"Was that Alessio?" Serafina easily looked over her head, her eyes searching the crowd for him.
"Uh...yes," Tatiana spoke uncertainly. "Why do you ask?"
Instantly the taller girl's eyes fixated on her, the blue swirling like storm clouds harboring lightening.
"You two..." She trailed, waiting for her to fill in the gap.
"We're here together..." Tatiana spoke slowly, not sure what she wanted to hear.
"No, are you two..." Serafina tried to ask, but her throat refused to corporate, watching as Tia took out her phone, looking at the screen.
"Uh...Excuse me, I’ll be heading out now," She excused herself, leaving Serafina to stand uncertainly as she watched the shorter girl disappear into the crowd.
"Tatiana!" Serafina shook herself out of her stupor, running after her in search for the girl, realizing she would lead her to Alessio, but groaning in frustration when she couldn't find her anymore.
Tatiana stepped out into the snowing night, pulling her coat closer to herself as she made her way over to where Alessio had parked his car. Watching him standing with his head lowered, and his arm on the hood, smoking a cigarette with trembling fingers and his eyebrows knitted together.
Making her way over to him, she placed a hand on his back, gasping when he turned around with a sudden speed, his hand raised as if though she had frightened him.
"Fuck," He breathed out, exhaling the smoke as she could see he was constantly shuffling on his feet, his fingers trembling ever so slightly.
"Are you okay?" She asked him in concern, watching him take another drag from the cigarette before extinguishing it under his shoe.
"I'm fine," He exhaled the smoke, not being able to look at her. "It was getting crowded and stuffy in there,"
"I know what would help," Tatiana grinned, getting in the car and waiting for him to do the same.
She directed him to a place, a little café where they both sat down and she ordered their death by chocolate cake.
"Take a bite," She urged, holding her fork out to him as he took a bite, his eyes widening at the moist and scrumptious taste of the cake. Instantly he dug in, Tatiana chuckling as she ate herself, both of them sharing the slice and finishing it.
"Better?"
"Much,"
"That's good," Tatiana chuckled, interlacing her fingers under her chin as she gave him a soft smile. "I always come here when I'm having a rough day, or I'm not feeling like myself, or just went through a heartbreak,"
Instantly Alessio tensed at her words, a knowing smile overcoming her face as she chuckled lightly.
"You and Serafina, huh," She inferred, Alessio leaning back in his seat as he lowered his gaze, too embarrassed to look up at her.
"It was never anything serious,"
"Yet you paled when you saw her," Tatiana pointed out calling over the waiter. "We'll have two hot chocolates, thank you." She told him as he walked away, Alessio looking at her in confusion.
"I've never seen a guy pale at the sight of a girl unless she's someone he is avoiding."
"I-"
"-You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," She shrugged nonchalantly. "We can just sit here and enjoy the hot chocolate. Their drink and the cake are the best cure for a broken heart."
Alessio swallowed thickly when the drink arrived, watching Tatiana take a sip before smacking her lips at the wonderful taste of the beverage. He felt guilty, knowing that he was here with this wonderful girl, who had been excited about coming with him and both his mind and heart were occupied by another girl. It wasn't fair on Tatiana, and she knew that he had someone else on his mind, yet she didn't leave, she was here, she brought him to a café and wanted to help him with his broken heart. After all the days and hours they would spend together sitting in her window niche and talking about everything under the sun, they were finally out on a date, and he had to meet Serafina here.
"It was just sex," Alessio murmured quietly, pulling the drink to himself as Tatiana looked up from her beverage. "We weren't dating; we weren't boyfriend-girlfriend, hell her parents or brothers didn't even know. I was just her boy toy,"
"But you fell in love?" Tatiana asked watching him take a sip of the drink.
"I've been in love with her for 2 years," Alessio informed, watching Tatiana swallow a cough that threatened to spill. "It's just now that I got so close to her,"
"2 years," Tatiana spoke in a small voice, never having expected him to have been in love with her for so long.
"I'm sorry, I can't tell you much without putting you in danger," Alessio informed. "But all you need to know is that I've loved her for two years, then I became her boy toy of sorts, even though that goes against my
employment agreement, and it all ended almost 2 months ago. I haven't heard from her, nor talked to her, much less seen her. And seeing her at the gallery just had everything resurface,"
"This doesn't sound very nice," Tatiana shook her head leaning back as she watched him down the drink, Alessio feeling better with every sip of the beverage. "But despite everything, you still love her?"
"I don't want to," Alessio spoke in a small voice, shaking his head before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "I'm tired of loving someone who can never feel the same for me, someone who hates my brother, someone who just used me. Despite every horrible thing she's done to me, I still love her, but I don't want to anymore."
"I see,"
"I'm 31 years old," He chuckled humourlessly. "Now I just want to find a girl whom I can get married to and settle down with."
"Oh," Tatiana whispered, not having expected that. "Well, it all takes time." She offered him a comforting smile, patting his hand as he looked up at her with guilt.
"I'm sorry,"
"Hey, you have nothing to apologize for," She shook her head. "I'm sure Serafina had her reasons, and so do you, but you don't need to apologize for your heart aching."
Alessio gave her a weak smile, Tatiana returning it with her signature dimpled grin.
"Come on, I'll feed you cookies at my place with a glass of milk and some movie." She stood from her seat, urging him along by holding her hand out to him. Getting up, he took hold of her hand as she led the way out.
Arriving at her house, true to her word, Tatiana warmed two glasses of milk, put on a comedy movie and they both sat down on her couch with the cookie jar between them as they dipped the biscuit in the milk and ate it, watching the screen and laughing, the air light between them despite all that Alessio told her.
Chapter XXVII: Guilt
After that glimpse of Alessio, Serafina could not bring herself to get out of bed, her mind plagued by guilt; her stomach squirmed in fear and the tears kept streaming no matter what she did. Her parents had called a couple of times, checking in on her, and every time they called, she made her voice as even as it could be and told them she was fine.