Amy talked for a few moments longer. “I love you... I do... I miss you... See you then... Bye, Honey.” She clicked off the radio; looked over at Katie and burst into tears. Katie got up and went to her. She held her, stroked her hair; told her she loved her and that it was all going to be alright. The same things, she told herself, that Aim always says to me.
“Usually I'm the baby,” she told Amy. “Usually I fall apart.”
Amy burrowed her face into Katie’s breast and cried. She was shocked at how much the news of Molly and Nellie's death had affected her, but she suspected it also had to do with hearing Aaron's voice. With knowing it could have been Aaron who had been shot. It could have been anyone, but it could have been Aaron. And that made her feel guilty that she didn't care enough about Molly and Nellie. That she only cared about her man. And that wasn't true, but it did her no good to tell herself it wasn't true. But what if it had been Aaron? And Molly had been carrying Aaron's baby. How did that make him feel? How did she feel about that? It was too much. She couldn't stop the tears.
Katie held her and stroked her hair as she cried it out of her.
~
Janna bought them coffee a short while later.
“Sandy says that you can both have a couple of aspirin if you need it,” she told them.
Amy sat up straighter, smoothed her clothes and her hair and dabbed at her puffy eyes. “Thank you, Janna,” Amy said as she took the coffee. “I'll skip the aspirin though.”
Katie took the offered coffee as well. “I'll skip the aspirin also,” she said quietly. She looked up at Janna. “Who else knows?”
“Just us. You two... James and I. Lilly and Arlene... Annie. I imagine that Cammy and Beth know too... They both talked to...” She looked up at the ceiling. “Adam... Adam is his name,” Janna told her. “I haven't told Sandy. Susan... Shar... Cindy...” She looked at Katie.
“What are we going to say about Molly,” Arlene asked. She had walked up and joined them.
“I don't think we should lie,” Amy said.
“No. Let's not do that,” Janna agreed.
“Then we'll get everyone together and tell them the truth,” Katie said softly.
James walked over along with Lilly.
“Who wants to be the one to talk to everyone?” James asked.
“Why not you?” Katie asked.
“I... I don't know. I’m not good with that sort of thing. Conner usually does it so well... Or you, Katie.” He looked down at her.
“Kate... It would probably be better coming from you,” Janna added.
“After dinner?” Katie asked.
“Probably now would be better. Dinner's not quite ready and everybody knows that something has happened,” Lilly said.
“Okay,” Katie said. She lifted one hand. “Help me up.”
James helped her to her feet and she walked slowly into the gathering area of the cave.
Conner
On The Road
“How was it?” Dustin asked. Adam and Aaron sat quietly nearby with Debbie and Chloe.
“Rough,” Conner said. He picked at the grass with one hand. His legs were folded Indian style under him. He was hunched forward; his shoulders slumped. He took a deep breath and sighed it out. “Katie took it hard,” he said.
“Amy seemed to take it well,” Aaron said. “She'll be there for Katie... Or vice-versa. They'll be okay.”
“Do they know about me?” Chloe asked.
To Conner it seemed as though all the progress, maturity, whatever it had been that he had seen, fell away with that one question, and a scared young woman, not much more than a child really, sat before him hanging on his answer.
Conner nodded. “Chloe? Don't go backwards. You've come so far. They will love and respect you the same way we've come to love and respect you in the last few weeks... Being forced to do something... Be someone that you are not, does not define you as a person... It's not who you are, and it can never make you that person,” he said.
She choked back a sob in her throat and folded one arm across her face. Debbie wrapped her arms around her. Chloe blinked away her tears. “Good words, Conner... Good words. Thank you,” she said. She slipped her own arms around Debbie and pulled herself closer, still emotional.
Conner fished a bottle of aspirin from his shirt pocket and took two with his coffee. His head seemed to have a pulse of its own. It had been a long couple of days, he told himself. Hell... Almost two weeks. The whole trip had been bad. No, he amended. The whole trip had not been bad, some of the trip had been bad, but they had actually ended up getting everything they needed and an awful lot of extra, useful stuff too. And Adam... His people. Jessie... Chloe... Steve... Debbie, and the names kept coming. And the people were more important to him than the things. Even so he missed Molly and Nellie. Molly more so. Molly had begun to be close to him immediately. One of the people he opened the door up all the way for. He would trade it all to have her back, but that alone did not make the trip bad.
“Hey,” Aaron said. Conner looked up from his thoughts. “Okay?”
Conner nodded. “Yeah...I'm good.”
Aaron nodded back. “Let me get a couple of those,” he said.
“Yeah, me too,” Chloe said. Her eye were red and puffy.
Conner handed the bottle around. “You know what?” he asked. They all looked up.
“There were no days like this in the valley. Not trying to be dramatic. It just wasn't anything like the outside world. I can't wait to get back,” he told them.
The Nation
Janna had taken the children down to help feed the horses with James. James didn't need the help, but they did not want the children affected by what Katie had to say.
To the children it was a treat. Rain and Janelle were amazed by the sheer size of the draft horses.
“Mister James?” Mark asked.
“Yes, Mark?”
“Well... Horses poop a lot,” he said very seriously. He was doing his best to step around the piles as they walked through the large open area. James was pushing a wheel barrow and scooping up the manure as they went.
James fought to keep a straight face. “Yes... They do, Mark, but it's a good thing for us that they do.”
“How come is that?” Rain asked.
“Well,” James said. “This all goes in the garden and in the corn fields. It's called fertilizer. It helps the garden to grow... And the corn too,” he told the children.
Mark stopped where he had been carefully stepping around a large manure pile. “But we eat veg-ables from the garden,” he said.
“Vegetables,” Janelle corrected.
“That's why I don't like 'em,” Rain said. Her nose wrinkled up and she shook her head.
“Silly,” Janelle said. “They don''t put the poop... the manure,” she looked at Janna who nodded. “They don't put the manure on the vegetables... Do you?” She turned to James.
“Uh,” James started.
“How come it stinks so much?” Mark asked.
“Because it's poop, right,” Rain answered. She looked at Janelle who nodded.
Mark was still looking at James. “Well,” James started again. He looked at Janna.
“Do you kids want to come and help me collect eggs?” Janna asked.
“Yeah,” Janelle said.
“Yes,” Rain agreed.
“Okay,” Mark agreed. He was still looking at James. James looked away and cleared his throat.
“Auntie?” Rain asked after a second.
“Yes, Dear?” Janna said.
“Well, how come eggs have poop on them when they come out of the chicken and are borned?”
~
Nearly everyone had gathered in the large open meeting area of the cave. It was absolutely silent as Katie spoke.
“So,” Katie said. “That's what is going on... Nobody had any idea that the guy was there. They're still not sure if it was the same guy from earlier in the day. I don't think anyone will ever know. The way it was
there's no way to know.”
“So he shot Nellie and Molly,” Jake said.
Katie sighed. “No, Jake. He shot Nellie. He didn't shoot Molly. Conner saw it... Aaron and Adam too I think... The guy didn't shoot Molly... Aaron tried to hold her, keep her away, but she got away from him... Jake, she killed herself. She just... I don't know. Nobody could know what she felt... What went through her head. Whatever it was overwhelmed her, if she had had time to think... To deal with the grief... But she didn't.” Katie paused for a second but the silence held. “I think. Conner, Aaron and the others think, it must have been an impulse thing. Conner said once she held Nellie... Once she knew she was gone, she didn't hesitate... Nobody could stop her. It happened too fast.”
No one spoke.
“They'll be here tomorrow, early to mid-morning Conner said. They're talking about this being the last trip out as well. The things we hear on the radios about the dead are true as well. It's bad and getting worse. It can't just be a trip out there for the hell of it. It's too dangerous out there... And it isn't just the dead, yes, that's bad, but the last group they ran into, left them and ran into another group that tried to kill them. So it's the living that are still out there too.”
“We'll have to be careful who we let in, then, right?” A young woman asked.
Alice something, maybe Allie. Katie couldn't remember the young woman’s name.
“That makes no sense at all, Allie” Amy said, solving the name dilemma for her. “If that were the case you wouldn't be here. A lot that are here wouldn't be here, me included. Maybe I've been here awhile, but I was not part of the original group at all. They let me in.”
The silence came back.
“Maybe we can all get together and talk it out. We'll have a Nation meeting if need be. But we'll do it when the others get back,” Katie said. She looked over to the other young woman she had spent time talking to before she had begun to speak. “I talked to Jamie this morning. I imagine she's been around and talked to almost everyone today. We're looking to see how many we are. I think Jamie is going to be keeping track of that number from now on.” She motioned for the young woman to stand up.
The young woman stood and looked around the large room. She pushed her red hair away from her forehead and smiled at the room. “Right now, before the others get back, two hundred and fifty-three.” She nodded yes at the few heads that shook. “I was careful to talk to everyone, it is two-fifty-three. From now on I'll keep track as people come in. I know there are at least four groups trying to make it here before snow flies, and we have our own coming back also, so we will end up well over three hundred or more in the next few weeks.” She smiled nervously once more and then sat back down.
“Wow,” Amy said. Several people chuckled.
“I'm pretty surprised too,” Katie agreed. She smiled. “Not long ago we were under twenty... Not long ago. I think I lost track at about twenty-nine. I can't count much higher than that, pisses the babies off and they start kicking if I use too much brain power.” Several people laughed. “It means a lot to do before winter gets here.”
Jake nodded. “Buildings... Grain... Probably more smoked meat as well.”
“It won't be a problem though with so many more of us to help with the work,” another young woman said.
“In fact it will be nice to have so many extra hands,” Katie echoed. “It will go faster... Has been already in fact.”
“Did they get everything on our lists? ... I mean, especially if this is it,” Sandy asked.
“They got everything and then some, was the way Conner put it. And, Sandy, two doctors coming in with this group,” Katie told her.
“No,” Sandy said, a huge smile spreading across her face.
“Yes,” Amy said. “One is a woman... Jessie... The other a young man, Stephen. The woman had been practicing awhile, the young man, Aaron said, was in residency... Did I say that right?”
“Yeah... You did,” Sandy agreed. “As long as we don't have to build a golf course,” she joked.
They talked for a while longer. Today, tomorrow, the future. How many they were. How bad things had gotten on the outside, but no one spoke about Nellie or Molly, although they were probably both on everyone's minds, at least those that had known them. It was too soon for those that did know them to absorb it. It hurt too much. And the ending had scared everyone. Was that possibility inside of them as well? Some knew the answer. Some were sure they didn't, and some didn't want to know. Didn't want to explore that particular darkness.
So they talked about other things. How surprised the returning group would be when they saw how much work had been done, when they told them how many were here. What the harvester would mean to them. The new people. The doctors. Whether there would be hot water by winter as Dustin had promised. Whether it would be smarter to try to build more housing before winter, or winter in the cave and build next spring. Would a sawmill help them to build housing faster? How long would it take to get the sawmill up and running? Could it be done before winter? And the discussion and questions went back and forth.
When James and Janna came back with the children it seemed like everyone found a reason to stop and talk with the children. Jake came over and talked with Katie and Amy.
“I'd like to make a marker... For Nellie and Molly.... Something nice... Maybe put it down by that little flat area at the base of the waterfall. We had talked about making a little park area there. It would go nicely, I think. I know they won't really be there, but I want to do it.” He had one arm protectively around Lilly, and Katie wondered if he were thinking of Lydia, his first woman who had been shot and killed in pretty much the same way. Maybe Jake had faced his own demons that day and come close to doing exactly what Molly did. Maybe he hadn't, but she suspected it had affected him deeply.
“I think that would be nice and I think Lilly should say something,” Katie said.
Lilly nodded. She slipped one arm around Jake's waist and squeezed him tight.
He seemed about to say something else, but instead turned and walked away with Lilly.
Katie turned to Amy. “I don't know about you, but I'm shot, and I'd like to look half way decent tomorrow when Conner gets back... I think a good nights sleep would clear my head,” she said.
“I have a headache, but I don't want to take anything... The baby,” Amy said.
“Me too. I have a bad one... I don't want to be alone tonight... And I don't want to sleep on the front porch swing like we did when we fell asleep... Too hard,” Katie said.
“Okay,” Amy said simply.
“Alright... Help a pregnant lady home then,” Katie said. She slipped one arm through Amy’s own and they walked off down the ledge and into the valley together.
~
The valley was bright gold in the evening light. The small stream a red-gold thread on the bottom of the valley. The mixed herd of Buffalo and Cows, along with the few Beefalo calves that had been born, were working their way to the barn, grazing on the sweet grass that grew next to the stream as they came.
Sandy stood with Susan and watched. Her eyes were red rimmed, and Susan held one hand tight. Neither woman spoke.
Jake's Journal
Lilly's sleeping. I can't. Ever since I heard about what happened to Nellie and what Molly did it's bothered me. I liked Molly a great deal. I didn't get to know Nellie as well, I wish I had, but that means nothing now.
I know how it was for Molly, because when they shot Lydia the same thought came to me. Just do it. A fast thought. No reasoning at all. My arm actually started to come up. It twitched and started to rise. I stopped it, but it was not easy. And I wasn't sure I could find an argument if my arm had not stopped. What do you tell yourself? When it's unreasonable? Isn't that how people snap? They just can't, won't, don't listen? I came so close. Molly came closer.
What does that make me? Was Molly stronger than me? Weaker? Different from me somehow? My hand came up, I stopped it. Hers came up, she didn't. I didn't do it,
but I wanted to. I know the feeling. I wanted to lay down in that grave when I dug it and stay right there with Lydia. I didn't care. I wanted to do it, but I didn't.
Even after, it was bad. And then there was Lilly. And I've had such guilt about that. I love Lilly. I really and truly do, but at first I just needed someone to need me. To love me. To recharge me. And Lilly did that, and once she did I found that I had something to give back. But I have not forgotten Lydia. I can't and I won't. And I'm sorry, Molly. I'm sorry it happened to you too.
FOURTEEN
Mike and Candace
Asheville North Carolina
September 27th
The day was clear and bright as they skirted what they were certain was Asheville North Carolina and headed toward the Georgia border. They would be in Georgia just a short time before they crossed over into Alabama. Billy and Beth had told them they had not been far into Alabama before the state had disappeared, the highway sinking into the sea.
They were three trucks riding the sides of the roads angling their way across wet areas via whatever high ground they could find. They were close to the Georgia border when the attack came.
The trucks had come around a curve ahead of them and swept past on the other side of a wide highway median. Mike had known by the way the men in the trucks had watched them that this was not going to be a friendly meeting. The trucks had slowed. The center median was flooded, there was no way they would make it across there, but it was less than a mile back to where there was a crossing. The same crossing they had used to get onto this side of the highway. Mike had picked up the CB handset in his truck and told the rest to follow him.
He had no place in mind. It made no sense to go back, forward made the most sense. He picked up as much speed as he could and the other two fell in behind him as he skirted the road, running into the fields where necessary. A half hour bought them in view of a small town off the highway they were traveling. Mike drove off the edge of the highway and crossed through the fields into the town
Earth's Survivors: box set Page 103