On the last day—day 40—do the same with days 31 through 36.
Through this 40-day process, you’re guaranteed to learn something about yourself! But you’re not going to stop there. This process is ever evolving and ever changing. The cycle may stop, but you will begin anew.
Blue Lace Agate
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WISDOM KEEPER:
TRUTH SERUM
COLOR: Sky blue with a white lacelike pattern
ORIGIN: Namibia
HISTORY AND LORE: It’s said that if you’re nervous during a speech, you should picture the audience naked. Or you could carry a piece of Blue Lace Agate. This is a new stone, just recently discovered. Unlike other forms of Agate that have been used since the time of the ancient Greeks, Blue Lace Agate was only discovered within the last 60 years. For such a newcomer, it has already established an impressive reputation for its metaphysical properties.
HEALING PROPERTIES: Blue Lace Agate connects to the throat chakra, empowering you to relax into your words. Instead of getting tripped up by unnecessary thoughts, this crystal will clear the blocks between mind and mouth. It allows you to express yourself in a way that is both authentic and articulate. Blue Lace Agate is the go-to touchstone for relieving anxiety and stress.
”Remind yourself that you cannot fail at being yourself.”
— WAYNE DYER,
International best-selling author and inspirational speaker
CHAPTER 8
THE LOVE GURU
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RITUALS TO ATTRACT LOVE, REKINDLE PASSION, LOVE YOURSELF, AND MEND THE HEART
“I don’t stay single for long. I carry a lot of rose quartz, which attracts the male. Maybe I need to calm it down with the amethyst.”
— KATY PERRY,
singer and songwriter
“WHY DO YOU HAVE A HUGE PYRAMID IN YOUR LIVING ROOM?” MY NOW-HUSBAND, JASON, BLURTED OUT when he entered my apartment for the first time.
“I . . . um . . . sleep under it,” I mumbled, trying to read his reaction.
Jason and I had met on a blind date, and when I found out that he was from Springfield, Missouri, I thought I’d better wait awhile before inviting him to visit my apartment. Once he saw my space, he would be fully aware of what he was getting into with me.
After selling real estate, I had become a full-time Feng Shui consultant, and my specialty was love. My apartment was my own personal laboratory filled with hundreds of books, crystals, trickling water fountains, copper pyramids, aromatherapy oils, and endless other energetic gadgets. Little crystal grids, flower petal mandalas, and mini medicine wheels filled the floors.
Results seemed to come easier when I followed particular formulas, so my passion became figuring out what those formulas were. Each month, I would focus on a different interest, such as money, health, or mindfulness, and I’d move my crystals, grids, and sacred geometry accordingly.
One month, love was in the air, so I transformed my apartment into a modern-day love chamber that even the goddess Aphrodite would have been happy to call home. Everything was in its proper place. Pink and red peonies (the flower of love) sat in vases throughout the place, and a framed picture of a pair of cranes (symbols of longevity in relationships) hung on my wall. In the southwest part of my bedroom—the universal direction for love and relationship luck—I placed a pair of mandarin ducks, representing a happy relationship; two Rose Quartz hearts, holding the energy of love; and two red candles to bring in the energy of love.
Heather’s first-ever Feng Shui reading
At the time I was playing around with love energy, it was for my career and discovering how I could help other people with love. I wasn’t looking to attract a new relationship. It just wasn’t on my mind. Then, two weeks later, my life changed when I was set up with Jason.
After a few weeks of dating, I couldn’t avoid showing him my apartment any longer. I knew it would be the ultimate test to see if our relationship could move forward or if we should just end it.
When he entered, he didn’t say a word at first. I held my breath while his eyes darted back and forth. I waited for him to say something, anything.
After I told Jason about how I slept under the pyramid, he asked, “If you sleep under it, why isn’t it in your bedroom?”
“Well, see, the energy is better in the living room, and since copper is an amplifier, I want it to amplify good energy.”
That answer seemed to appease him for a moment. He stopped to think about what he’d just heard. Then he asked, “So, why exactly do you sleep under a copper pyramid?”
“It’s actually really fascinating,” I answered, trying to gauge his interest. “I heard it preserves whatever is under it. The Egyptians did their healing and rejuvenation rituals in the pyramids, and I was curious if I slept under it, if it would help me feel more rejuvenated and energized in the morning. I think it works.”
Luckily, Jason didn’t turn around and run out the door. I assumed he was having one of two thoughts: (1) This girl is completely crazy but one of the most unique women I’ve ever met, or (2) Wait until the guys in Missouri hear about this!
Instead he said, “That’s pretty cool! Can I sit under it?” I had to smile. And that was just the beginning.
Jason and I got married within one year of the day we met. Ironically, even though I wasn’t trying to attract love for myself, my love ritual worked for me anyway. That’s how powerful it is! Not only was I able to attract a lasting partner for myself, but I’ve seen this ritual work countless times to bring more love into others’ lives, too—whether that means self-love, attracting a new relationship, or finding a soul mate.
FENG SHUI LOVE KILLERS
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While this isn’t a Feng Shui book, we can’t resist offering you a few tips, along with information about using crystals to attract love. So, here are a few Feng Shui love killers to avoid. They can stop the flow of love from entering your life. Not every sign applies to everyone. But in general, it’s a good rule of thumb to pay attention to these basics if you’re looking for love, regardless of your gender.
Dead plants outside the front door are nonwelcoming. Remedy: Always throw out dead plants immediately.
A bedroom filled with artwork showing only one person usually results in a single person alone at night in bed. Remedy: Artwork should contain two people who symbolize a loving partnership.
Mirrors in the bedroom that make a second image of the bed create the potential for infidelity or a third party who interferes with the relationship. Sometimes the third party can be an intrusive in-law or family member. Remedy: Cover mirrors in bedrooms with a curtain or loose fabric.
A bed flush against a wall that can only be entered from one side symbolizes not making room for someone to enter your life. Remedy: Move the bed to the center of the room where it can be entered from both sides.
Sleeping under a beam that divides the bed vertically brings separation or a loss of connection in the relationship. Remedy: Cover the beam with a curtain.
Having black as your number-one clothing color choice in your closet closes down the energy of the heart chakra. Remedy: Don’t wear black over your chest for 40 days. You can still wear black pants and jackets, but no black over the chest! Wearing colors such as pink, green, coral, rose, white, and blue will shift your energy immediately.
ATTRACT LOVE RITUAL
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TIME FRAME:
40-day ritual + 3 days of prep
This is a 40-day ritual that should start on a New Moon. The preparation for this ritual will begin 3 days before it starts. Each day of prep consists of tasks that ready the mind, body, spirit, and space for the journey on which you are about to embark. It really works, so if you’re ready to have a love breakthrough, fully dedicate yourself to every moment of this ritual!
Our friend Sally Lyndley, a successful fashion stylist in Los Angeles, was looking for love. I quickly learned she had almost all the Feng Shui kil
lers working against her—she wore only black, her bed was against the wall, photographs of single women lined her space, and her office desk was in the corner of her bedroom so that the first thing she saw in the morning was work.
Sally was ready, so she fully committed to the Attract Love Ritual. She immediately used her stylist talents, shifting her wardrobe from all black to all pink, to tell the universe she was open to love.
The ritual tested her on the 15th day, when it brought an old boyfriend back into her life to see if she was still interested. She wasn’t. On the 24th day, her typical romantic type—the “bad boy”—showed up, tempting her into a relationship that would go nowhere. She passed the test and continued with her ritual.
Here’s what Sally has to say about her experience: “On the 36th day of my love ritual, I met my now-boyfriend, whom I now consider my life partner—not to mention, I gained so many great friends in the days before that, too! The issues that had caused problems in my past relationships are not occurring in this new partnership because of our open communication, love, and respect for each other.”
Sally also found that the ritual increased her self-love a great deal. “When it was finished, I had a far more compassionate and loving relationship with myself than I had ever been able to truly create before.”
Are you ready to try it for yourself?
PREPARATION
3 Days until the New Moon: Bedroom Prep
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Getting ready for this powerful ritual requires some work. The first place to start is in the bedroom. Modifying the space to include a greater sense of Feng Shui will open it up to receive the energy of love.
WHAT YOU’LL NEED:
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A plastic tub
5 lemons
1 cup distilled vinegar
1 sage stick
1 feather
1 abalone shell or fireproof container to catch ashes from the sage
Palo Santo incense
BEDROOM PREP STEPS:
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Remove any pictures or gifts that you received from past partners. These items can be given away or stored in a box for the duration of the ritual. Put the box in a garage, an attic, or a closet that isn’t in your bedroom.
Enhance love Feng Shui by removing all mirrors in the bedroom. If it isn’t possible to remove the mirrors, you can cover them with a sheet or curtain. Place a sheet over the TV in the bedroom while not in use, or better yet, move the TV to a different room. Remove all images or landscape art that only contain single people. While you’re at it, remove all pictures of family and friends from the bedroom.
Clean your bedroom. Declutter, throw away old magazines, dust, vacuum, change your sheets, and wash all the windows.
Energetically cleanse the room. Fill a plastic tub with water. Squeeze the juice of 5 lemons in the water, and add 1 cup of distilled vinegar. Using a clean cloth, wipe the doorknobs, as well as the front and back of all doors in your home.
To rid the space of negative energy, burn sage starting at the front door and walking counterclockwise around each room in your home. Ask the spirit of the sage to release any stuck, stagnant, or unwanted energy. Open windows to allow smoke to exit your space. (See for information about using sage.)
Light the Palo Santo incense. Start at the front door and walk clockwise around each room, filling the space with positive energy and asking the spirit of the Palo Santo to bless your space and bring miracles into your life. (See for information about using Palo Santo.)
PREPARATION
2 Days until the New Moon: Purifying Bath
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After your entire space has been cleansed, it’s time to purify yourself with this bath.
WHAT YOU’LL NEED:
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1 small box baking soda to strip your energy body of unwanted energies
1 cup sea salt to absorb any negative energy from your energy body
2 instant coffee bags (single serving) to cleanse your energy body
2 cups organic apple cider vinegar to purify your energy body
1 white candle—a symbolic way of letting spirit know you’re connecting
1 sage stick
1 feather
1 abalone shell or fireproof container to catch ashes from the sage
PURIFYING BATH STEPS:
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Sage your bathroom before bathing.
Fill the bathtub with warm water and the baking soda, sea salt, instant coffee bags, and organic apple cider vinegar.
Use your hands to mix the ingredients in the water as you say out loud, “I program this water to purify my mind, body, and soul.”
Light the white candle, and place it in a safe place in the bathroom.
Bathe for 11 to 21 minutes.
While in the bath, visualize any situations that have caused you sadness, hurt, or pain in past relationships. Dip your head and body under the bath water at least 9 times—the number 9 symbolizes the ending of a cycle. This acts as a personal baptism. Imagine that you are free from the past.
Let the water drain as you continue to sit in the tub. Visualize all your hurts and pains draining away, no longer holding any space in your life. (Throw away the coffee bags in a trash can.)
When you’ve completed your bath, sage your bathroom again to purify anything that has been energetically released.
PREPARATION
1 Day until the New Moon: The Love Altar
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On the day before the New Moon, create a love altar—a table that represents your focused intention on attracting love. This space will help to support your desires and allow you to cultivate a deeper love and understanding of yourself. The altar can be as simple or as elaborate as you want to make it—the choice is yours. Just make sure your altar is always clean and dust-free.
WHAT YOU’LL NEED:
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A small table (altar)
A white lace or white tablecloth
1 Rose Quartz mala necklace or a Malachite mala necklace—whichever you feel more attracted to
2 pink candles to represent the energy of 2 people in a relationship
1 feather (any kind of feather that you feel spiritually connected to)
1 small bowl of water
1 pink crystal (Rose Quartz, Rhodonite, or Rhodochrosite) to hold the intention of receiving love
1 green crystal (Aventurine, Malachite, or Jade) to hold the intention of giving love
Stationery or a journal
1 blue pen—blue is the color of truth. It’s believed that you’re more likely to retain information when you write it with blue ink.
An image or statue symbolic of love like Aphrodite or Eros, a piece of jewelry that symbolizes love, or a picture of lovebirds
Love Altar Steps:
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Add any other items that represent love to you, such as incense or flowers, and simply set up your altar in whatever way feels right to you.
Before you set up your altar, make sure you program your crystals. Hold them in your hands, close your eyes, and take 3 deep breaths. Aloud or in your head, say the following: “I ask that the highest vibration of love and light connect with my highest self to clear all unwanted energy and any previous programming. I command these crystals to hold the intention of love, self-love, and attraction. Thank you, thank you, thank you.”
The Morning of the New Moon Steps:
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Write down all the qualities of your ideal partner. It’s important to handwrite this on paper; don’t type it on a computer or iPad! Take your time, and be specific. Include 5 nonnegotiable items—things you aren’t willing to compromise on. Then list 10 or more things you desire in a new partner.
As you take the time to focus on what you really want and what is nonnegotiable, you become very clear on who you wish to attract. When you’re finished, date it, sign your name, and write, “Thank you, thank you, thank you!
”
Fold this paper in half and then in half again so that it makes a square, and place it under your mattress where you sleep.
40-DAY LOVE RITUAL
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The 40-day time period is designed to bring any issues about love to the surface and starts on the New Moon. An old love might come back into your life—someone you haven’t spoken to in years. Often, this happens due to unresolved issues that were never discussed, and this gives you an opportunity to have closure from a different perspective. Sometimes old childhood wounds, anger, or sadness come up. At the same time, a new sense of joy, hope, and happiness emerges.
So, how can 40 days change your love life? It’s a commitment to the process and a commitment to falling back in love with yourself that changes your love energy. By the end of the 40 days, you’ll have a love breakthrough. How this plays out is different for everyone, but the end result is always the same—you’ll love yourself more, and as your vibration rises, so will the energy of others who are attracted to you. The 40 days will take you through a soulful journey.
RITUAL STEPS FOR 40 DAYS:
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On the New Moon, day 1 of the ritual, sage your environment. Feel free to sage as needed during the other 39 days.
Sit in front of your love altar.
Light your candles and incense.
Pick up your mala beads, and chant aloud one of the following mantras (based on the gender you wish to attract) 108 times. (There are 108 beads on a mala necklace, and each bead is one verse of the chant. See the Glossary.) This must be done once a day with no more than 24 hours between chants. If you miss a day, you must start back on day 1. This part of the ritual is very important and must be done for 40 consecutive days. These mantras are chanted to invite the feminine or masculine into your life. For attracting a man, chant: Sat Patim Dehi Parameshwara (Pronunciation: Sat Pah-teem Day-hee Pah-rahm-esh-wah-rah)
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