by V. Theia
My brows folded in. I wasn’t always this difficult. This indecisive. This self-destructive. But even I knew it wasn’t that simple.
I’d hurt him. Probably ruined what we had.
“I mean it, sweetheart.” He assured. With the door locked, he reeled me in when I dropped my purse on the floor and just hauled me against his chest, arms surrounding me the same way he’d done in the hotel and as then I sank into his hard body, relishing that he was holding me at all.
I buried my face. “I’m sorry.”
My eyelids felt heavy with tears I blinked back.
And with my face buried into his chest I mumbled.
“I started thinking crazy. About how you are. And what I am. You’re just so imposing. Dynamic. Larger than life. Everything about your kindness and selfless nature intimidates me because I’m constantly wondering what you want and why me and am I enough and will I hurt you if I fuck up. I got scared seeing dad, it messed me up, Gray, I saw myself in his actions, how I wanted to run and then I started to think stupidly.
“I thought you’d be better without me before I did to you what dad did to us. But, Gray? I don’t want to leave. I need you. You give me this silly, buzzing, full-body blast all the time, and my brain just switches off.” I paused to take air and side-eyed his cocky, pleased smile. “Don’t let that go to your head.”
He pulled back and gave me a lopsided smile. “I’ll try.”
“I didn’t expect you, Gray.” Here it was. The truth of all truths. “I’m so grateful for you. That you came into my life and you stayed. You stay.”
“Not going anywhere, baby-girl. Not unless I take you with me. Are you getting that yet?”
I nodded. Watery eyes. “I think so. I panicked. I fucked up.”
“That’s good you realize it and I know you panicked. So, I hope then you understand what’s going to happen now.” His voice downshifted into something silky…dark…dangerous and I felt the jump of the change in my belly as I rounded too slow to see Gray approaching as he pushed and held me bodily up against the hallway wall. I’ve loved his deep voice every day but hearing it now, in that wolfish tone, gave me a lick of fear and I could have liquified into the floor as my heart shoved against my ribcage from the inside.
A hand around my throat.
Holding not hurting.
Gray lowered his face until I could taste the alcohol on his breath. Intoxicating fumes mingled with the taste of him and I was wet.
“When you walked away from me you might as well have fucking splintered my soul in two, India. No more miles between us. No more giving you time to get used to us. We are together. No more running. If you feel it, then you show it to me. I’m not going anywhere. I love you. I’m in love with you and have been since the second I laid eyes on you. I love you and I belong to you. I am India’s man. You and me, baby-girl, we’re in this together. We deserve this hard-earned happiness.” His words decimated me open.
I’d hurt him, and he was rebuilding me brick by broken brick.
“You’re brilliantly, stunningly, amazingly perfect just as you are. My emotionally scarred girl who I fucking adore. Tenacious as a mule, but damn, I wouldn’t change a thing about you. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere, even if you get scared. I want you until I’m blind with greed to consume you.”
“Jesus, Gray.” I swayed even though he had me pinned with the whole of his hard body pressed into mine. I clung to his forearms, searching his face. “Are you real? Please be real.”
“I’m real and I need you like air. Can you say the same?”
My answer flew out of my lips because I was so euphoric I could scream. “Yes! I need you the same.”
As the fire of his words grew with a roar in the back of my head I watched him watch me. His hips pinned me dead to the wall but there was no need to be free. I was exactly where I wanted to be.
With the man who owned every inch of me. Every fucking crack of me.
“I’m sorry. I was reckless and impulsive. I let my emotions dictate my actions. I never wanted to hurt you, Gray. That’s the last thing on my mind.”
He’s my heaven. He’s love and he’s safety. The one I can trust to hold my heart together.
I assumed we were going to kiss and make up but when Gray’s hands roamed under my dress and yanked down my panties, I knew then he had another idea altogether to realign us to our happy medium.
“Step out of them,” he growled forcibly.
I complied because I was so suddenly wet.
“Every inhale I take belongs to you, India,” he gave me an inch of space before flipping me around to face the wall, he nudged my legs wide and pulled my dress up high over my ass.
The sound of his zipper was a pleasure bomb in my breastbone. I moaned and rocked.
“When you hurt, I hurt. I fix things for my girl because I’m programmed to heal my heart, India. You are my heart. When you don’t tell me what hurts, how can I make it better?”
“I will,” I said breathlessly, his cock nestled between my legs so perfectly I wanted to cry as I rose on my toes for him. “I will, I swear it.”
Everything he did was so tortuously planned and thought out I had to wonder was he planning this hallway tryst on the way home or before that?
So attentive and respectful was my Gray, he loved with an iron fist that was as gentle as a lamb’s tail.
“You’re scared. I understand,” he said against my cheek, his mouth grazing me with his stubble. “But the next time you get inside your own fucking head without giving me ten seconds to calm you down I’m going to redden your fucking ass, India.”
Aroused air filled my lungs.
Everything clenched, and I felt how slick I was down below.
Screwing me in the hallway wasn’t aimed at humiliating me or belittling who I am to him. I could feel how much he cared in hot waves. All the way home his thumb stroked my hand.
I get why he’s angrily horny and ready to pound his point home. I do. But I wanted it. I wanted him so badly. I could withstand his anger at me if he gave me another chance to fix my wrong.
But he strengthened his dominance, calling me on my bullshit, letting me know that he’s the only one I turn to if I felt out of control.
Damn if that didn’t flame me in all the right places.
I swallowed noisy gasps of pleasure when his hands held me in place and pulled at my hip bones.
“You ran from me, baby-girl. You ran from the man who loves every inch of you and for thirty-seven minutes I was in the dark and lost without you.”
His pain reached into my chest and just about stopped my heart. I’d done that. I’d hurt the one person who loved me completely and I was powerless to do anything about it other than open my legs and plead his name.
“I’m so fucking sorr—ohhhhhhhh.”
His thrust came sudden and swift, his thick cock shoved so deep inside me until all his length was stretching me, and Gray’s hand slipped around my throat bringing with it a sense of calm and frantic hollowed out need all at once.
We groaned together. We breathed together.
He drove deeper, seating himself to the root, pain and pleasure became my religion as my walls relaxed.
Every punch of his cock restored and healed.
He was bandaging us together.
“That’s the last time, India.” He growled riding my ass in a frenetic rhythm. “If you ever run from me and go to someone else…”
“I didn’t. I swear.” I moaned, telling him instantly. Head resting to the wall, my body on cloud nine. “I didn’t do anything.” I cried in between hard, wet thrusts that felt amazing. I clawed the wall, I dug nails into his forearms, begging for more. “I only want you. Always you.”
He singed every first time into the back of my brain.
His churn increased to the point I almost looked to see if we were generating flames between us.
“I’ll come after you. I’ll drag you home and show you the only cock you belong on is mi
ne,” every word dripped with his threat and I’d never felt more loved.
God, this man.
He’s fire and ruthlessness and cry after cry I pleaded for him to go harder.
Licking my neck, he sank his teeth down, eliciting a scream out of me. “I will do things, jealous things, India, to sabotage any other man trying to take you from me. If you show a flicker of interest in some other man I will damage it all and I don’t care what I have to do.”
“I swear. Never again. I’m yours,” I cried as he pushed and pushed and made me fall over the edge into a climax so critical I thought his cock was going to be permanently attached to my G-spot.
Twisting my head, I found his mouth, and we carved out erotic kisses as Gray sped up his hips, nailing me into the wall.
To love and to punish.
I took it all and sucked on his mouth until he grunted and spilled into me.
He bucked and pumped wildly while I milked him with my tight pussy.
Turning me, he restrained me against the wall, our mouths locked. Slow, languid kisses now, tasting and loving. My fingers lifted to his face. Every inhale I took was Gray’s masculine cologne I’d watched him spray on himself tonight.
“I didn’t sleep with anyone. I hated every second of being there.”
“I believe you,” his forehead rested damply to mine. “You’re wrecking me, baby-girl. And I plan to be wrecked every day for the rest of our lives inside this sexy body.”
I preened and stayed in that state as he carried me through to the bedroom, laying me on the bed, he crawled over me, lowering himself between my already welcoming legs.
Even though we were spent, we didn’t stop touching each other. I toed his calf, he pressed kisses to my shoulder, he nipped at my sensitive, over-sucked nipples one at a time until they were rosy red, letting them go with a pop of lips.
No man should have perfect lips like Gray.
No man should have a sinful body like that. It’s criminal.
“Submit to me, baby-girl.” He rasped against my cheek. His kisses wet and demanding almost undid the power to breathe.
“Didn’t I already when you just fucked my imprint into the wall?” I laughed giving his hair a tug.
I touched him everywhere. Wandering my hands over valleys and slabs of tanned, lean muscle.
“I mean give me everything. I want it all. Your body, your heart. Give me your love. I’m going to take all your hurt away, India. Submit it to me and know I won’t ever abuse it.”
Ten minutes ago, I might have panicked. Even a minute ago.
But now? As he propped himself over me on his hands and gave me his most earnest gaze all I could do was smile back at the man who truly fucking loved me. There was no pretense on his face
“Fine,” I fake-huffed. “You, bossy man. I yield to you.”
Instantly a current of hunger that was freshly sated minutes ago stroked over his lips when he brushed them to mine.
“I love you,”
And like magic my flood gates didn’t just open. They flung wide with a crash.
“I love you.” I confessed between kisses. “I love you until I die from it, Grayson.” He kissed me harder, grunting and tasting with skilled lips.
He hummed his pleasure. “Let’s be each other’s family. I chose you.”
“I choose you, rock star.” He smiled at me, his not-so-sugar daddy smirk and I was home.
I loved Gray for many reasons, all of which my heart smiled about.
But the overall reason was he felt like home.
Loving him sneaked up on me one tentative step at a time and then a bouncing rush and I was the lucky one who got to love him.
I get to love this man every day of my life.
The moment I let it in the love consumed, filling every crevice and it’s meant to be that way. I’ve discovered with every opened lock within me that I wasn’t made for half measures, or maybe I’m just not made to be half of anything with Gray.
He made me want to jump in the puddle of love with both my feet.
Our love opened me to new feelings. Like we’ve built mansions on top of clouds with bells and whistles loud enough to drown out the world.
Because in the end isn’t that what transcendent love does? It blocked out the world and lets you experience your heartbeats for the first time.
“Ask me,” I breathed against his mouth. Gray smiled and cupped between my legs. I fell harder for him.
“Who does this pussy belong to, baby-girl?”
“My sugar daddy.”
“Damn fucking right. There’s nowhere I want to be except inside you. You’re my home, India. I’m your home.”
I didn’t know much about destiny, if it even existed. But I felt the truth of my beating heart that Gray and I were inevitable.
Now. Last week. Last year.
He was my end game and I was his.
Gray pulled me closer to his hungry mouth.
“I love you,” I spoke into his lips. And it didn’t hurt to say. I didn’t burst into flames for caring.
“I know you do. I love you too.”
Lost in Gray, it’s a wonderful feeling to have.
He’s the safety net of my heart, the one protecting my moats and breathing fire.
We’re impassioned and dazed and spellbound and he helped me find myself.
He helped me accept the person I am.
When I’m not so nice and when I’m my best version I can be.
Our connection blazed.
He pressed hard into my belly and I knew we’d fuck again soon.
I poked the beast tonight with my reckless behavior and Gray needed to assert his dominance over me and I’m …deliriously okay with that.
I was so crazy for this guy that all other negative emotions needed to take a back seat. Because the love for him was my frontrunner.
Bigger than the empire state building.
More consuming than an addicted 1D fan.
I wrapped my arms around his waist, laid my head on his chest and breathed his manly scent. “Let’s stay in bed all week, Sugar D. I need to love on my man for … the rest of ever if he’ll have me.”
Love freed and love extinguished, and love made me fly.
Before I knew it, I climbed the man of my dreams like he was a flag pole, limbs vined around him. “You’re taking too long to answer, Grayson.”
“My bad. I lost all my brain cells in that last orgasm, baby-girl.”
I kissed hell out of him and his cuteness. “Your sugar baby wants our bed and her man and to make him come until he can’t walk tomorrow.”
Gray let out a hiss and squeezed my ass hard enough to bruise.
“You’re a bad girl.” He was already pushing his fingers between my thighs to find how wet I was while I sucked on his neck. Let him go to work tomorrow wearing a giant hickey. My PDA shy man would have to explain his girlfriend was extra hungry last night.
“Gray-son…give me a promise.”
“I promise I’m yours. Forever.”
His sudden attack-kiss knocked the air out of me. I opened wide enough accepting his invading tongue, and I yielded, breathing his name, softening in his heady grip. His hand worked me up, caught me in a sob when he bumped up against my spot enough times my eyes rolled.
“Oh, Jesus. Please.”
“This is what you needed. My fingers owning this pussy, destroying it, my dirty girl.” On and on he did just that until I was a writhing mess sopping in his hand. “Who does this pussy belong to?”
“You.”
“Who does this heart belong to?” He covered my chest, his large palm feeling how the heart in question pounded out of control.
“My Grayson’s heart.”
I said the right thing and I knew this because he grunted and crawled on top of me, fixed himself in place and groaned my name like a prayer as he joined us again.
We didn’t need any more talking after that.
We loved, and we loved, and we loved all night l
ong.
I would not, for as long as I lived, forget how Gray made me feel.
How he brought me to life with no more than the power of his attentive smile.
I was a chaotic woman and Gray’s patience calmed me.
Holy Christ, I’m lucky to have that man in my life the way I do.
He’d insist he was the lucky one … hello, he was … but I knew it was me who benefitted more from his presence.
I always thought true love was an unrealistic dream.
An unreachable goal made by movies and books.
Turns out, I was just waiting for Gray Ellison to teach me his sweet way of loving.
FOUR WEEKS LATER
“It’s my great pleasure to pronounce you Mister and Mrs. Gray Ellison. You can now kiss the bride.” The female celebrant announced right before my husband dipped down with his smiling mouth and kissed me with all the love we had for each other.
Holy Christ, we were married.
See how fast a sugar daddy moved!
He caught me in a weakened state by proposing while we were in the cereal aisle of the grocery store. Of course, I screamed yes.
Now here we were in Cabo exchanging vows at sunset with the crisp, warm waves lapping at our feet.
Gray Ellison knew how to get shit done when he wanted something.
And he wanted me all to himself.
“I love you,” Gray whispered against my lips. I smiled and kissed him again because I couldn’t help myself. We’d been inseparable these last weeks and I didn’t see anything changing about that in the future. We loved being together in our own little addictive bubble.
Something stirred the air even as the sun dipped behind the horizon.
Anticipation.
Hunger.
Love.
I couldn’t wait to get him alone.
“I love you, sugar D.” My mouth nuzzled his.
We were a team of two. The Ellison’s.
Hell yeah, I’m taking his name.
Rivera was never good luck for me and I wanted nothing but fortune for the rest of our lives.
The applause from behind stopped me from deepening our kiss and asking him to fuck me right there on the sand.
Gray’s parents and siblings.
And more of a surprise than Gray proposing, my mom had taken the trip with us too. I was so proud of her. More so that she was checking into a facility at the end of the week in Texas to help with her mental health problems. She enfolded me in a hug. “Are you happy, sweetie?”