“Right. Rented a furnished place.” He glanced over his shoulder, dropping his voice. “When Veronica died, there were a lot of bills, and that was on top of what I still owed for my insurance copay on my hospital bills after the accident. Had to sell just about everything.”
Seth nodded, shame that he’d been ogling Logan twisting in his gut. The man’s wife died barely six months ago. Have some decency. “I understand. Well, I put the back seats down, so should be plenty of room for what’s left.”
“Thank you.” Logan winced at a thump from the direction of what had to be Connor’s room. “There’s still time to back out.”
A little voice did pipe up saying that Seth was biting off more than he could chew, but he couldn’t exactly leave Logan high and dry, now could he? He tried for an easy smile. “Nah, we made a deal. You’re helping me out just as much.”
Logan snorted. “Not sure if that’s true. But thanks.” He glanced down the hall. The cursing from Connor had faded. Logan still spoke softly. “I didn’t want to go through his stuff, so I picked him up after school to tell him in person. Give him a chance to pack up his things so he wasn’t completely blindsided.”
“Sounds like it’s been a barrel of laughs.” This earned him a sardonic smile from Logan, and Seth tried to ignore the sexy little dimples that appeared in Logan’s cheeks. Before Seth could say anything else, a gangly boy who needed a haircut appeared down the short hall. He wore uniform slacks and a white dress shirt, the sleeves rolled up to his bony elbows, his tie missing. He scowled at Seth.
“Oh, hello,” Seth said with a smile. “You must be Connor. I work with your Aunt Jenna. It’s nice to meet you.”
“She’s not really my aunt,” Connor muttered, crossing his arms.
“Connor,” Logan warned.
Seth smiled awkwardly. “Well… It’s still nice to meet you.”
“Whatever. I’m calling my dad, and he’s going to fly me to Florida for Christmas, so I’m not staying with you.”
Seth glanced at Logan, who only shrugged, his face impassive as he said, “Okay. Go ahead and call him.”
Connor glared. “I did. I left a message. He’ll call me back any minute. He’s probably still at work. He actually has a job since he’s not a loser like you.”
Waiting for Logan to scold Connor for the rude insult, Seth bit his tongue. But Logan didn’t rise to the bait, only saying, “In the meantime, keep packing.” He picked up a box in the hallway. “Seth, there isn’t too much to go into your SUV. It’ll mostly be Connor’s stuff.”
“Right. Uh, okay.” Seth fished out his keys and opened the front door for Logan, following him out into the snow. Flakes caught in Logan’s dark hair, his wide shoulders rigid as he walked out. At the SUV, Seth opened the back and said, “Don’t you want your coat?”
Logan’s muscles flexed as he pushed the box into the back. He straightened and blew out a long breath, his exhalation clouding in the cold air. “I’ll grab it in a sec. Just had to get out of there before we got in another fight.”
“Understood. I didn’t realize his father was still in the picture?”
Logan shook his head derisively. “He’s not—selfish piece of shit is what he is. He probably won’t even call back for days, and when he does, he’ll be full of excuses. But I try not to say a bad word about him to Connor.”
“Right,” Seth repeated. “That’s smart. Let him figure it out for himself.”
Logan shivered, rubbing his bare arms. Jenna’d mentioned that Logan had worked hard to get back in shape after recovering from the accident, and Seth couldn’t imagine how good he’d looked before it, although his brain stubbornly tried.
Logan said, “For a smart kid, it’s sure as hell taking him a while to get the message.”
Seth thought of his own parents—his mother’s round face and big eighties-style curls, his father’s balding head and wire-framed glasses—wondering what they would do if he actually called. “It can be hard to accept.” He knew without a doubt his parents would hang up on him, yet he still thought, Maybe…
“Although the kid’s right that his asswipe father does have a job, at least.”
“Hey, it’s not your fault you’re out of work.”
“That’s not what the railway says. Worked there more than a decade, and I’m out with nothing. I wasn’t speeding, and I know I braked in time. I know it.”
He was obviously referring to the accident. “I’m sure you did.”
“Doesn’t matter anyway. Except for the fact that I can’t seem to get another job without a reference since I worked there so long.” He headed back to the house. “Anyway.”
Seth followed him inside, standing in the doorway as Logan put on a black leather jacket and gloves. It was quiet from down the hall, and Seth hoped that meant Connor was packing. “In the new year, something will turn up.”
“Let’s hope so. For both our sakes.” Logan grimaced. “But don’t worry, I’ll figure something out. The deal is just until January and we’ll be out of your life. Thanks again.”
“Hey, you really are doing me just as big a favor.”
“What favor?” Connor asked. He must have been listening, and now he neared them in the foyer, his socked feet slapping on the parquet.
Seth’s heart sank at the thought of explaining it, embarrassment prickling his skin. He glanced at Logan, who sighed and mumbled to Seth, “Hadn’t got there yet.” Logan faced Connor. “It’s no big deal. Seth needs to pretend he’s getting married so he gets a promotion at work that he really deserves. So I’m going to be his fake fiancé.”
Connor’s face creased with confusion and possibly disgust. “What the fuck?”
It was entirely strange for Seth to hear a kid swear the way Connor did without being reprimanded. Seth would have been belted if so much as a “damn” or “hell” slipped out. Even “darn” or “jeez” or “heck” had been forbidden since they were clear derivatives of curses. Logan seemed to swear regularly, but he was an adult, at least.
Seth cleared his throat. “I’m sure it sounds a little confusing to you.” He tried to smile. “It’s a little confusing to us as well. It started as a white lie and snowballed into this…caper, I suppose you could call it.”
Connor stared at Seth, then Logan. To Logan, he hurled, “You’re gay now?” as if it was a barbed accusation.
“No. I’ll just be pretending for a little while. It’s not a big deal.”
Grunting, Connor shifted his focus to Seth, eyeing him up and down, his lip curling. “So you’re a fag no one wants to date?”
Seth flinched, not sure whether the slur or the accurate assessment of his love life hurt more. “Uh…”
Logan stared at Connor in apparent disbelief before drawing himself up even taller and barking, “What the hell kind of word is that? Jesus Christ, you know better.”
Connor opened his mouth as if to shout back, but then his pimply face flushed, his gaze dropping to his feet. He muttered, “Sorry.”
“What would your mother say, hearing you talk like that?”
In a flash, the defiant rage returned, Connor’s head snapping up and his eyes flashing. “She wouldn’t say anything. She’s dead. Because of you.”
Seth blinked in surprise. From what he recalled, it had been natural causes—an aneurysm, perhaps? Heart attack? But guilt definitely flinched across Logan’s face, his shoulders hunching as he muttered, “You know she’d hate to hear you talk like this anyway.”
To Seth, Logan added, “Sorry. Look, if you want to back out, I don’t blame you.” His gaze flicked up to Seth’s and then away miserably.
Resisting the urge to reach out and touch Logan’s arm, to give some kind of comfort, Seth shook his head. “No. We had a deal. Trust me, I’ve heard worse.”
Logan’s nostrils flared. “Well, you shouldn’t have to. And you won’t, at least not from Connor.” He raised an eyebrow at the boy. “Since when do you call gay people names? Isn’t your buddy Jayden gay?”
/>
Connor fidgeted, his expression miserable. “Yes.” Then panic seemed to seize him, and he sucked in a breath and pleaded with Logan, eyes wide. “Don’t tell him I said that word!”
“I won’t,” Logan assured him. “I think it would hurt his feelings a lot.”
Exhaling, Connor nodded. To Seth, he added, “I didn’t mean it. I’m really sorry. I don’t know why I said it.”
Because you’re angry and confused and lashing out. Seth gave the kid a little smile. “Apology accepted. I’d really like to be friends. What do you say?” He extended his hand. Connor peered at it suspiciously before shaking it briefly, his small hand damp.
Fortunately, Connor was quiet after that, finishing packing his room and helping to carry the boxes without any more complaints. They piled up the back of Seth’s SUV and drove back to Saratoga Springs, Logan and Connor following in Jenna’s vehicle.
Turning into his hundred-foot driveway, Seth glanced at the retro metal mailbox by the curb, his stomach tightening at the flyers sticking out. He hadn’t checked the mail for two weeks. He should just bite the bullet and face what was likely inside, but…
I’ll look tomorrow.
After parking at the top of the drive, he followed the unshoveled brick path and climbed the two steps to the front door. The outdoor light had switched on automatically, and it illuminated the fluffy snow that was still drifting down. Logan and Connor approached, both gazing around.
Logan whistled softly. “Real beautiful home you have. Lots of land.”
“Thanks.” He pointed left and right. “You can see the lights of the neighbors through the trees. They’re close, but not too close, which is perfect for me.” He ushered them inside, all of them stamping their feet on the mat and taking off their snowy boots in the little foyer.
Seth pointed up the stairs, which extended back on the right-hand side of the house. “Two bedrooms and bathrooms up there.” To the left, he led them through the little sitting room area, which currently only held an armchair. “Uh, you can tell I haven’t finished furnishing the place yet.” He laughed awkwardly and continued on into the kitchen on the left and empty dining space to the right.
Logan examined the kitchen. “Did you demo some walls and open this up when you moved in?”
“Yes.” He winced, looking at the wide island and counters that were still covered in plywood, and the complete lack of cabinets. At least the medium hardwood flooring that ran through the whole main floor was done, although the walls where the blue-tinted subway tile back-splash would go were still bare.
“As you can see, it still needs some work. The pantry’s finished in the corner, so I’ve been storing food and whatnot in there.” He glanced to the bare room on the right. “Still need the dining table and chairs. When we moved up from Georgia we were going to buy most things new.”
Connor, who had poked his nose into the long pantry, asked, “Who’s ‘we’?”
Logan looked like he was about to chastise him, but Seth spoke before he could, keeping his tone light. “Well, ‘we’ was me and Brandon. We met in Atlanta at my first job out of college. Both worked in HR back then. We were together a long time, and when I was transferred here about a year and a half ago, I bought this house and Brandon came with me.” His throat got tight, and he cleared it. “But it didn’t work out. We broke up last October.”
“That sucks,” Connor said, going back to the pantry. He seemed to be eyeing the little collection of Halloween treats Seth had bought at half price on November first and hadn’t finished yet. He’d hidden up in his room on Halloween instead of shelling out, although he wasn’t sure any kids would have come by anyway.
Seth asked, “Are you hungry? Help yourself to whatever you like.”
Logan swore under his breath. “Forgot about dinner.”
“I’ll order a pizza.” Seth pulled out his phone. “What do you guys like?”
“No, I’ll order it. You already went out of your way to help us move our crap.” Logan took out his own phone.
Seth shook his head. “I insist. You can get the next pizza.” Of course he had no plans to let Logan pay for anything. For goodness’ sake, the man was jobless and evicted. He joked, “Trust me, there will be plenty of opportunities. I don’t cook as much as I should.” When it was just him, it didn’t seem worth the bother.
“Pepperoni and extra cheese,” Connor said. “Um, please. Thanks.” He held up a snack pack of Doritos. “Cool if I have these?”
“Absolutely,” Seth said. “Logan, what’s your pizza order?”
He shrugged. “Anything.” He examined the kitchen. “You said you have the cabinets and the counters already?”
“Yep. It’s all in the garage.” Seth tapped in an order for one pepperoni pizza and one sausage and mushroom, both with extra cheese. “Think it’s doable?”
“Definitely.” Logan glanced at the dining space. “You’re definitely going to need a table and chairs if the boss lady’s coming for dinner. It’s all painted, at least.”
“Right. Yes.” The white trim was done along with the pale gray walls. Seth groaned. “I shouldn’t have put it off so long.”
“We’ll figure something out. Don’t worry.”
“Whoa!” Connor’s exclamation echoed from beyond the short little space, barely a hall, that led to the great room at the back of the house.
Seth smiled as he and Logan joined him, taking the two steps down into the room. This was the space Seth could actually be proud of—a vaulted white ceiling with wood beams, tall and wide windows, a sleek gas fireplace stove in one corner and a massive TV in the other. A curved black leather sectional with chaises on both ends dominated the right side, facing the fireplace and the TV. On the far side of the room there was a sliding glass door to the patio.
“This is dope,” Connor said, gazing around in apparent awe.
Seth felt ridiculously pleased to have impressed him. “Thanks.”
Logan seemed equally awed. “Wow.” He walked across the thick area rug, which was a navy and gray diamond pattern, and cupped his hands around his eyes to peek out the sliding door. “Is that a built-in barbecue?”
“Yep. We had a gas line put in, so figured why not?” He’d barely used it, and shifted guiltily. “There’s a fire pit back there too. The outdoor space was a big selling point. And this room, of course. Got them to vault the ceiling and put in new windows. It was small and dim before, and now it’s, well, this. An improvement, I think.”
Logan gave him a look. “You could say that. Anyway, we should bring in the boxes. Have to get Connor back to school by nine.”
Mouth full of Doritos, Connor said, “Yeah, you’ll be in shit if you don’t.”
It was still jarring to hear the way Connor and Logan cursed freely around each other, but it wasn’t Seth’s place to say anything. Logan didn’t seem to think anything of it, but of course he’d been in the military. Seth imagined he’d become inured to obscenity.
They put their boots back on and went out, unloading the boxes and bags into the foyer. Between the three of them, it didn’t take long. There were some boxes of kitchen and miscellaneous items that Seth left in the empty sitting room before they took Connor’s things up to the spare room. It was a nondescript guest room—a double bed, dresser, closet, and generic art of a sailboat and a country road up on the pale gray walls.
Seth cleared his throat as Logan and Connor came in. “So, there’s only the one extra room. I figured two bedrooms would be enough since I don’t have any family and Brandon’s are real homebodies who don’t travel much. There was another small room, but we sacrificed it for the great room ceiling.”
Connor frowned. “Why don’t you have any family?”
“Don’t be nosy,” Logan snapped, a little harshly in Seth’s opinion.
Before Connor could retaliate, Seth said calmly, “It’s all right. I don’t mind talking about it.” It wasn’t pleasant, but he tried to be matter of fact about it when it came up. “M
y family cut me out of their lives after I told them I was gay. It was twelve years ago now. They’re very religious, and their church is quite homophobic. They believe I’m choosing a life of sin and all that kind of stuff.” He shrugged tightly. “I knew this could happen when I came out, but I’d hoped for the best anyway.”
Connor and Logan seemed to be taking it in. Logan shook his head and said, “Sorry, man.”
“It’s okay.” Seth forced a laugh. “I mean, it’s not okay, but it is what it is. I couldn’t stay in the closet. I like to believe in a God who made people the way they’re supposed to be.”
Connor was watching him silently. Then he said, “Your family are dicks, huh?”
Seth had to laugh for real this time. “They are.” Of course guilt slammed him immediately, and his smile faded. “I shouldn’t say that. They’re good people—they just have their beliefs.”
“That gay people are going to hell?” Connor asked, eyebrows shooting up. “That’s bullshit. Good people shouldn’t think that. And good people shouldn’t choose to never see their own kid again because of the way they were born.”
Logan said, “Hard to argue with that.”
“My friend Jayden? His parents are awesome. They love him the way he is. That’s what parents are supposed to do.”
Guilt still lingered, leaving sticky trails like gum on the bottom of Seth’s shoe, stuck in the crevices. He simply said, “Anyhow, we should get the sleeping arrangements sorted out.”
“Right. I’ll sleep on the couch if that’s okay?” Logan asked. “Connor, this can be your room while we’re staying with Seth.”
“You could stay in here while Connor’s at school.” Seth knew the couch was comfy, but he felt like a bad host regardless.
Connor stared at the wood floor. Logan said, “No, I’ll be good on the couch. Connor, why don’t you unpack a bit? We’ll bring the rest up before the pizza gets here.”
“Yes, should be soon,” Seth said. “The place I order from takes a while, but it’s worth it.” He gave Connor a smile and went back downstairs with Logan.
In the foyer, Logan glanced up behind him and whispered, “Hope it’s okay if I stay on the couch? He already had to move after his mom, and now this. I think it’ll help if he has his own space without me in it at all.”
The Christmas Deal Page 5