“I don’t drink,” was my response. I had never taken one sip of alcohol, not since Graham got drunk and crashed his car.
Trenton’s brows drew together. Before he could say anything more, I separated myself from them. I heard Rowan call my name but I didn’t turn back.
The three level townhouse was packed with fellow college students. I didn’t recognize most of them. Probably because I’d never made the effort to get to know anyone besides Rowan.
I pushed through the crowd of bodies, heading to the second level. I hoped it would be less crowded. Wrong.
There were buckets of ice, overflowing with bottles of beer. That wasn’t what I wanted. I sauntered over to the refrigerator, pushing people out of my way when I needed to, and searched for a bottle of water.
Mountain Dew.
Coca Cola.
Dr. Pepper.
And beer. Lots of beer.
Was this all college guys drank? They were going to have liver failure before their thirtieth birthday.
I grabbed a bottle of Dr. Pepper, it might not have been water but at least it wasn’t alcohol.
Some heavy rock song played from an iPod dock sitting on the counter. I was tempted to replace it with mine—which was filled with country, but I wasn’t in the mood to get in a fight with Jude or anyone else for that matter. I didn’t even want to be here. I wanted to go home. Was it acceptable to stay five minutes and leave? I totally would if I had my car.
You know, it was just my luck that the one time I wanted to get out and agreed to go to a party it would have to be at Jude’s. I couldn’t escape him no matter how hard I tried.
I spotted a couple making out on the couch. A part of me was disgusted by their display, but a small piece was jealous. I’d never had a relationship like that. I wasn’t saying that I was the Virgin Mary, but I’d never been in love. There had never been a guy I pined for from afar. I hadn’t kissed someone in the rain. Or fought and made up. I hadn’t found someone worth sharing the darkest parts of myself with, or even the good parts.
I turned away from the couple before I got overly emotional for no reason.
I moved through the people gathered in the middle of the living room, looking for a place I could hide out until Rowan and Trent wanted to leave.
I spotted a door leading out onto the deck. No one was out there, since it was such a chilly night, so I decided to make my escape there.
I was almost to the door when I spotted a bowl of gummy bears on the coffee table. I couldn’t stop myself from smiling as I recalled Jude telling me he loved them.
Feeling devilish I reached out for a handful, then decided to take the whole bowl. They were my gummy bears now.
Nobody paid me any attention as I slid open the deck door. I’d long ago realized that even though Graham was the one that died, I sort of became a ghost too. I’d allowed that to happen by avoiding people, and refusing to get to know new ones, so it was my own fault.
The deck was small with two chairs. I picked one of the plastic Adirondack chairs and looked up at the shining full moon and twinkling stars. It was such a pretty night. I thought people didn’t appreciate the beauty of the night sky enough. There was something breathtaking about its simplicity.
I propped my legs up on the railing and popped a gummy bear in my mouth. It tasted so good that I ended up eating another, and another, until half the bowl was gone and my stomach was starting to feel upset.
I laid my head back, my eyes feeling heavy. I would be the person to fall asleep at a party.
To keep myself awake, I chewed on some more gummy bears—probably not my most brilliant idea since I was already feeling sick. At least it would give me an excuse to leave.
I shivered from the cold, but I wasn’t desperate enough to go back inside and deal with that mess. I pulled my phone out of the pocket of my jeans, checking for a text from Rowan. Nothing. Grrreat. We had to have been here for at least an hour already. Surely that was enough time and we could leave. My bed was calling my name.
I sent her a text, asking her when they’d be ready to leave.
When I didn’t receive a response in five minutes, I was tempted to chuck my phone off the deck out into the dark void.
I didn’t.
The deck door slid open and I jumped at the grating sound. Relief flooded my system. Rowan hadn’t text because she was coming to find me.
Only it wasn’t Rowan walking towards me. I didn’t have good enough luck for that to be the case. Instead, it was Jude.
He wore a pair of jeans and a plain white tee. His feet were bare and he was the picture of ease. He sat down in the chair beside me, smiling crookedly. “I was looking for you,” he said simply.
“Me?” I questioned with a raised brow. “Why?”
He shrugged. “When Rowan said you came, I was surprised. This doesn’t seem like your type of thing,” he nodded towards the door that kept us barred from the craziness inside.
“It’s not,” I agreed, looking away from Jude, “that’s why I’m out here. By myself,” I added, hoping he’d get the message and leave. He didn’t. Jude never did what you wanted him to. He always had to go against the grain. If there was ever anyone that I’d saddle with the label of REBEL it was Jude. Some of the things he’d done in high school were borderline illegal. He was always looking for something stupid to do and a girl’s pants to get into. He was charming and never had a problem with accomplishing either of those things. Except with me.
“You know you prefer my company to being alone,” he joked, his eyes twinkling with laughter.
“I’ve had my fill of you for the day,” I grumbled, propping my head up. I was really starting to get nauseous. I knew I shouldn’t have continued to eat those dang gummy bears. Jude’s presence was also adding to my upset stomach. I could only handle so much of the crazy things that came out of his mouth.
“I’d like to fill you up.”
My eyes bugged out. “You did not just say what I think you said.”
His smirk widened, and he scratched at his jaw—almost as if he hoped the gesture would help mask his smile. “I did, and I meant it.”
Leaning towards him with my eyes locked on his I spat, “Never gonna happen. Get that through your thick skull, Brooks.” That’s when I got a whiff of his cologne and my gag reflex kicked in. “Oh God,” I slapped a hand over my mouth. I stood quickly, forgetting about the gummy bears in my lap. The bowl fell to the ground and the gummy bears littered the surface.
Jude’s eyes flicked from the gummy bears to me and back again. “Shit. How many of those did you eat?”
“A lot,” I replied when I had control of myself.
“Shit,” he repeated, thrusting his fingers through his hair so that it stood up wildly. “Those were soaked in vodka.”
“What?!” I shrieked, my voice so high that Jude flinched from the sound. “Who the hell does that?” I cried.
His laugh echoed around us—the kind of laugh that shakes your whole body and leaves tracks of tears down your cheeks.
“It’s a party, what did you expect?” He asked when he had control of himself.
“Not this,” I pointed to the mess on the deck. “You forgot to mention the vodka part when you told me you liked gummy bears.”
Still laughing, he said, “I only soak them in vodka for parties.”
“I can’t believe this,” I muttered, burying my face in my hands.
He stepped towards me and his cologne hit my nostrils once more. I gagged and dove for the door.
I ran through the house, looking for a bathroom. A line had formed outside a door of what I assumed was my destination. I was so screwed. I did not want to get sick all over the floor of Jude’s townhouse. That would be enough ammunition for him to make fun of me for the rest of my life—or at least until college was over and I never had to see him again.
A hand reached out for mine, before I could wrench it away I saw that the hand belonged to Jude. “This way,” he said, guiding me
through the hallway and up a third set of steps.
His pace was quick, trying to get me to a bathroom before I got sick. I had news for him, he better have me there in seconds if he wanted to avoid that.
He stopped at a door, pulled a key out to unlock it and shoved me inside.
It was obviously a bedroom, but bless his heart there was a bathroom. I ran for it, collapsing to my knees. My stomach heaved, trying to rid itself of those dang bears.
I startled when Jude’s fingers gently coasted against my neck, but then he was pulling my hair back and I was sick again, so there was nothing I could do to stop him.
Jude was the last person I would ever want to see me like this, so of course I was stuck in a bathroom with him. That’s just how my life worked.
And the most ironic part of it all was the fact that I was drunk on gummy bears. I didn’t even drink! How did stuff like this happen to me?
Once I was done emptying my stomach, Jude let go of my hair. I hoped he was going to leave me alone, but my luck wasn’t that good.
He grabbed a washcloth from under the sink, dampened it, and knelt in front of me. I blinked heavy, shock-filled, eyes at him as he gently cleaned my face.
I knew he saw the surprise in my eyes. Jude Brooks was taking care of me. The only words to describe this situation were: what the fuck? Clearly, I was drunker than I thought and I’d stepped into some parallel universe. This was not good. I did not want to start liking him. He was the reason my brother was dead, and that was enough ammunition to hate him for the rest of my life.
“Gummy bears are the devil,” I muttered, causing him to belt out a deep, throaty laugh. Taking a deep breath, I told him, “I’m fine.” I stood shakily, using the bathroom wall for support.
“You’re not fine, Tatum,” he growled, using his body to close me in so I couldn’t edge towards the door. “You’re clearly not used to drinking and those gummy bears will really get to you.”
“I don’t need you to look out for me.” I groaned. “I’m fine on my own. I don’t need you or anybody else to try and save me.”
I put a quivering hand against my forehead, feeling dizzy from my outburst.
“Tate,” he grabbed my shoulders to keep me from wobbling.
I collapsed against him, unable to hold myself up anymore. His strong arms wrapped around me. I was never going near a gummy bear ever again. Those things were dangerous.
Jude swept my legs out from under me. Before I could protest he laid me down on the softest surface imaginable. Maybe I wouldn’t argue with him.
I curled my body around the pillow and smiled. “This feels nice.”
He chuckled in response. He laughed at me a lot. I didn’t know why. I wasn’t very funny.
“Is this your room?” I asked, crooking my elbow over my eyes to block out the glow of the light. It hurt my eyes. “Why’d you lock the door?”
“So no one can get in.” His tone of voice told me exactly what he thought of that question. “No one is allowed to have sex in my bed that isn’t me.”
“Does this mean you want to have sex with me?”
I don’t know what made me ask the question. I guessed I’d blame it on loose lips courtesy of gummy bears.
I felt the bed dip down beside me. For a moment, my heart stopped, as I feared he’d taken my words as invitation. I rolled my head to the side to look at him but found that he was staring at the ceiling. I looked up to, and noticed the ceiling was decorated with those peel and stick stars and moons lots of kids have on their bedroom ceiling. I wondered why he had them here. He wasn’t a kid anymore and I wouldn’t think Jude, being a twenty-two year old male would want something like that in his bedroom. I hated to admit it, but maybe I was wrong about him. I really didn’t know that much about him as a person. Everything I knew was based on assumptions from what I saw and heard. I did know one thing, and that was that he was responsible for my brother’s death. I wondered if that fact weighed heavily on his shoulders. Probably not. Based on what he’d said about not being able to figure out why I hated him so much, I’d bet he wasn’t even aware of the damage he’d caused.
I wished I could be more like him—not caring what other’s thought of me and doing whatever the hell I wanted.
I’d stopped being carefree a long time ago.
“I want to have sex with you.” I startled at his voice. He’d taken so long to answer that with my foggy brain I’d completely forgotten that I’d asked him anything. “But I know you don’t want that.” He turned his head slowly to look at me. His warm brown eyes caused something to stir in my stomach that I didn’t even recognize. Despite my hatred of Jude there had always been something between us, and I’d always tried my hardest to squash it. The last year, having to share my best friend with him, had somehow managed to soften my heart towards him—and I hadn’t even realized it was happening. It didn’t mean I actually liked him, though. That would never happen. “When I touch you like that,” he reached out with his index finger to graze my lips, “you’re going to beg for it. You’re going to want it, and you’re going to scream my name because it’s the only word you can remember.”
My breath faltered. “You’re crazy.”
“No, I’m not.”
He rolled onto his back once more, crossing his arms behind his head, looking up once more at the glow-in-the-dark stickers on the ceiling.
I was too tired to move and my heavy eyes soon closed. I was asleep within minutes.
I really hoped I still hated Jude when I woke up.
Sunlight warmed my skin. I blinked open my eyes wondering why I’d fallen asleep with the blinds open.
Only they weren’t open and the heat wasn’t from the sun.
A very heavy, manly arm was draped over my chest and I was pulled against a body where I was cradled like a teddy bear.
What the hell happened last night?
I tried to lift the arm off me, but it was futile.
I really hoped I hadn’t done something stupid, but since my clothes were still on chances were good that I was safe.
Since I couldn’t move, I looked around at the room.
That’s when the memories flooded me.
With a strength that I didn’t know I had, I scrambled from the bed and fell on the floor. The noise caused Jude to stir. I hopped up in time to see him stretching his arms above his head and yawning loudly. I kept backing up until I ran into the wall.
This had to be a really bad dream or a cruel joke.
There was no way I slept all night in a bed cuddled against Jude.
“Morning darlin’,” he chortled, running his fingers through his already mused dark hair.
“Why am I in your bed?!” My voice was shriller than I intended. I was in shock, to be honest. I grasped at my shirt, trying to pull it down from where it had ridden up to expose my stomach.
“You fell asleep,” he rolled over and stood, cracking his back. “You were too cute to wake. Don’t worry, I didn’t fondle you in your sleep,” he waggled his fingers innocently. “I’m not that desperate.”
“You’re not desperate at all,” I stated, knowing just how many girls he had probably ‘fondled’ in this room. “I can’t believe Rowan abandoned me,” I muttered, anger filling my body. Some friend she was.
“She didn’t,” he shrugged easily, opening a dresser drawer. He pulled out a fresh shirt and removed the one he wore. I forced my eyes to the ground so that I didn’t stare at his chest. I couldn’t help wondering how he was so muscular. Between school and his volunteer hours I doubted he had very much time to work out.
“What do you mean she didn’t?” I asked once he’d put on the clean shirt.
“I let her know what happened. She checked on you, and since she trusts me, she left you alone.” Shrugging, he added, “To be honest, I think she would’ve had Trent carry you out of here but she said something about not knowing how to get you into your house. Are your parents strict or something?” He asked.
“You still live with them, right?”
I wanted to laugh. My parent’s strict? They didn’t care what I did. Not anymore.
“It’s complicated,” I answered, tucking a piece of blonde hair behind my ear. I felt extremely uncomfortable and I wanted nothing more than to get out of here, but I didn’t have a car, which meant I was dependent on Jude. Something told me this situation had played out exactly as he wanted.
“Since you’re here,” he crossed his arms over his chest and his shirt rode up a bit, exposing his smooth stomach and the small patch of hair that disappeared beneath the waistband of his jeans, “maybe we should go somewhere.”
I cocked my hip to the side and stared him down. I was not going to play games with Jude. I wasn’t in the mood.
“If you’re taking me anywhere, it’s home.”
“Alright,” he grabbed his keys off the top of the dresser and spun the ring around on his finger, “let’s go then.”
I was surprised he agreed so easily. Maybe he knew the chances of me spending the day with him were slim to none.
As we walked through the townhouse I noticed more than one person passed out in the hallway. One guy raised his head and gave Jude a thumb’s up. My mouth fell open in shock as I realized what the guy believed had transpired between Jude and I. There was no need to correct him, he’d only think I was lying. I was stuck looking like I was doing the walk of shame. This sucked.
Once in Jude’s truck I gave him the directions to my parent’s house.
As soon as he parked in the driveway, I hopped out with no intentions to look back.
“See you later, Tater Tot.”
I whipped around, that nickname grating on my nerves. He started to back out of the driveway and when he looked back at me I waved my middle finger at him.
He simply laughed at the gesture, so something told me I hadn’t proven anything.
Chapter Four
I slid into the truck, glaring at the driver.
“I don’t understand why you need to drive me. I’m perfectly capable of driving my car and following you. There’s no need for this.” I waved my arms around wildly to encompass the truck.
Saving Tatum (Trace + Olivia #4) Page 3