‘I’m not. It’s just me on my own having the baby.’ I said glumly.
‘You poor thing.’
‘So about the flat?’ I asked trying to divert the conversation back to the pressing matter in hand, and acutely aware of the fact that the father of my unborn baby was only about twenty feet beneath me at this very moment hammering or painting something, and if Gill thought about it for too long she might figure that out.
But then I could almost see the cogs in what passed for her brain cranking into ‘Lady Bountiful’ mode, as she said she’d have to talk it over with her other half first, but she couldn’t see any reason why not. How I hate it when people refer to their wives, boyfriends, partners as their other half, it really sets my teeth on edge, but I smiled sweetly and tried to ignore the other half crap, hoping I was convincing and trying to look a bit pathetic knowing that if anything was going to swing it for me, that was.
‘I’ll let you know for definite tomorrow, okay? So how far gone are you? Does anyone else know?’
‘So far no one knows, only you. Could you keep it to yourself for a bit? At least until I’ve told Grahame.’
‘Sure no problem.’ She said but I knew she’d waste no time telling the world at large at the first opportunity, and by lunch time I was proved right, everyone knew.
When about an hour later I told Grahame, he was fine about it. Really nice in fact, but then he is a bit of a softie. Then I had to go through it all over again to Ted in personnel. He was more matter of fact and explained to me about maternity leave and that I’d still have a job if I decided to come back to work after the baby was born, and that I could even go part time afterwards, at least for a while, if that’s what I wanted. Course I wouldn’t be paid for all this time off but still it was something to know that I’d still have a job if I wanted it.
My next port of call was Doreen, Vee and Jack, who luckily were all standing together. But it turned out luck had nothing to do with it, Gill had done her work and they were all discussing my immanent motherhood status.
‘How long have you got?’ Doreen asked.
‘Well it’s due at the end of February, so fingers crossed I’ll last till January at least.
‘What did Grahame say? Jack wanted to know.
But before I could answer, horror of horrors, the twonk had come upstairs and was looking for Bill, the building guy in charge.
‘Sorry to interrupt your high powered summit,’ he said sarcastically, ‘but have any of you lot seen Bill?’
I immediately froze to the spot and just stared at him stupidly. Mouth open and everything. This was the first time I’d actually come face to face with him and the first time he’d actually looked at me properly.
I knew something registered with him, like he’d just realised he knew me from somewhere. Thankfully the others didn’t seem to notice my gob-smacked state, and Jack said he thought he’d seen Bill in what was eventually going to be Grahame’s office when it was finished.
‘Thanks mate.’ Matt the twonk said slightly distracted and still looking at me as he wandered off.
‘I think he likes you.’ Vee said obviously oblivious of the real situation. ‘He couldn’t stop staring at you. Do you know him?’
‘What! No I don’t know him. Give me some credit. A bloke like that are you joking?’ I said a little too loudly.
‘Okay, just wondered.’ Vee said a bit taken aback by the vehemence of my reply.
‘Sorry,’ I said contritely. ‘I’m just a bit touchy today what with telling everyone I’m pregnant and everything.’
‘Yeah I know.’ She said touching my hand to let me know she understood.
We all wandered off to our various desks and I pretended to work while keeping an eye on the twonk who was still talking to his boss. Eventually he finished and with another look in my direction as he passed, went back downstairs.
Oh crap. What now? Was he going to figure it out or was I just going to be one of those faces that rings a bell but you can’t quite place?
He stayed out of my way and didn’t come back upstairs for the rest of the day, and I avoided going downstairs until lunch time when I nipped to the loo hoping he would be at lunch or at least not looking in my direction. By going home time I was beginning to think I’d got away with it, and that he’d forgotten all about me, and I began to breathe normally again.
Periodically throughout the day people had come over to my desk to congratulate me. Everyone it seemed had some horror story about giving birth that they felt the need to tell me and that I could have done without, I mean my own imagination had already gone into overdrive as it was thinking about who knew what horrors were waiting for me, without hearing about all the real stuff that could and sometimes did go wrong, and above all how bloody painful it was all going to be. Why do people do that, I’d even said to some of them ‘no don’t tell me’ but they did anyway.
I was mentally and physically exhausted and was packed up and ready to leave at five on the dot.
I edged my way through reception like a thief about to be caught but the builders had already packed up for the day, and the twonk had gone. Phew thank God for small mercies, I thought.
But God was not on my side, he was playing one of his little life jokes on me, because as I walked over to my car there was the twonk, large as life and twice as obnoxious, leaning languorously on his own car with arms crossed as if he had all the time in the world, and to make matters worse his car was parked only a few feet from mine and I would have to walk past him to get to mine. I paused for a moment trying to think if there was any way I could avoid him. I couldn’t think of anything. I steeled myself determining that if he said anything I’d just have to brazen it out, either deny all knowledge, or laugh it off as some chance encounter I’d long since forgotten about.
As I neared him he stood up straight. Here it comes I thought. Oh shit.
‘Hey it’s Judy isn’t it?’ He said all chatty and animated.
‘Yes.’ I said guardedly. Rat’s he’d remembered my name.
‘Thought so, I know you don’t I?’
‘Do you?’
‘Yeah I’m sure I’ve met you somewhere, just can’t quite . . .’
‘It’s possible I suppose.’ I said nonchalantly.
‘Didn’t we . . no I’d have remembered. So you been working at this place long?’
I couldn’t believe it. He was chatting me up . . again. Not only didn’t he remember spending the night with me, that was kind of insulting enough, but I was pregnant for God’s sake, fat. Okay not huge but fat, and wearing fat clothes. This guy was unbelievable, did he just chat up anything with a pulse?
‘Sorry I’m in a bit of a hurry.’ I said still walking.
‘Hey don’t rush off. My names Matt, I’ve been working on the new offices downstairs, but I’d have asked to be moved upstairs if I’d known there was anyone like you up there.’
Oh please, I thought. As chat up lines go that’s downright cheesy, surely no-one in their right mind would fall for that. Then I remembered I already had once.
‘Don’t suppose you know anything about cars do you, can’t seem to get mine started.’ He said.
As if. I mean do I look like I know anything about cars? ‘No sorry,’ I said.
‘I’m just waiting for my brother to give me a lift home, unless you could . . save him the bother. Which way you going?’
‘Sorry I’m really in a rush.’ Why the hell was I being so sorry about everything, or even talking to him at all. Without the booze haze he wasn’t even that good looking, and he certainly wasn’t going to win any personality contest anytime soon, not with that permanent leer etched on his face.
A car pulled up and for a second I did a double take as a second Matt the twonk got out. I looked from one to the other not quite able to take in what I was seeing. Both Matt’s started laughing making the bizarre situation even weirder.
‘Hi I’m James.’ The new second Matt said. ‘It’s okay you’re not
seeing double or going mad, we’re twins.’
‘Twins. Oh twins right.’ I said suddenly understanding the blatantly obvious.
‘Has Matt been annoying you? He does that a lot. To everyone.’ James said grinning at his brother.
‘Cheers.’ Matt said.
‘Well you do, mostly females of course. You shouldn’t listen to a word he says it’s all lies anyway.’
‘Cheers again.’ Matt said.
‘Anytime.’ James said still laughing.
‘Okay I really have to go.’ I said and walked smartly to my car. Well the brother seemed alright I thought, as I unlocked the door and slid in behind the wheel. Then mentally castigated myself for even thinking along those lines.
I started the engine and watched Matt get into James’s car and drive off. Then before I’d even taken my hand brake off it hit me. Twins. As in two of them . . . and I was having the twonk’s baby.
Oh my God. I could be having twins. This was turning into a nightmare of epic proportions.
13
9th September – Week 14 + 5 Days
It was Friday. It had been a long hard week, all week. Fishers monthly board meeting was usually on or around the fifteenth and Norman Steadman was, as always, on our case to make sure the month end figures were finished a few days earlier so he had a chance to go over them beforehand. Every time he phoned up to see how it was going what I wanted to say was ‘Yes Norman I get it, you need the figures for the fifteenth, just leave me alone to get on with it for God’s sake’, but what I actually said was ‘Yes Mr Steadman everything should be finalised by Friday’. It had been a bit of a slog what with all the office reorganising, and the smell of new paint really wasn’t helping. I don’t know if they were using some particularly obnoxious smelling paint or if it was just the baby thing, but even with all the windows open I felt like I was positively drowning in the foul fumes.
Of course the main distraction for me since Monday had been the terrifying thought that I might be having two babies, as if one wasn’t bad enough now there was a chance it could be two. I hadn’t slept at all Monday night worrying about it, but my next check up was the following day so I hung on, failing miserably but trying not to think about it too much. I asked the doc while he was taking my blood pressure, which under the circs I would have thought would have been off the scale but actually was just normal, what were the chances of it being twins. He said the chances were high as the father was a twin himself, and that they’d have a better idea on my next scan. Then I’m guessing after seeing the look of extreme panic written large all over my face, prodded me about a bit more and amended his prognosis to ‘but it doesn’t feel like twins, and most mothers having twins would be bigger by this stage, so you’ve probably got nothing to worry about’. I hung on to what I hoped was his expert diagnosis like a life raft in a vast ocean of doom, hoping I could contain my internal melt down until my twenty week scan which was another five weeks away.
At work the builders had finished upstairs at least, and this afternoon everyone was in the throes of moving the contents of their desks and all the rest of their accumulated paraphernalia, with the help of a couple of the guys from the print room, to their new allotted places. It was pandemonium gone mad, but on the upside my delicate condition meant that nobody expected me to lift anything, or do anything much at all. I did manage to wheel my chair from one end of the office to the new smaller office at the other end that was to be mine and Martins, but that’s it, everything else was done for me.
Doreen was not so lucky, she’d had to do a lot of the shifting, lifting and organising on her section herself, not to mention placating everyone. George the set in his ways duffer had been no help at all, in fact was still positively resisting all changes, and had voiced his opinion quite vociferously all afternoon on the whole subject of office reorganisations. I think at one point he even moaned because his phone was on the wrong side of the desk. Understandably she was about ready to kill him and only the thought of his imminent retirement at Christmas kept her from throttling him right where he belligerently sat on his lazy oversized arse.
When I got home what I felt like doing was vegging out in front of the telly, but Shelley had organised a girls night out, my coming out party she said, at Benito’s restaurant. I was tired, but nowadays when wasn’t I? And a night out was a night out, and I was looking forward to seeing everybody.
I didn’t need to bother having dinner as obviously I would be eating at the restaurant, so I had a shower and changed into my new comfier jeans, then deliberated between a large size tee shirt or a large size over-shirt. I favoured one of the new tee shirts especially as I hadn’t had a chance to wear any of them yet, but the over-shirts were undoubtedly a bit smarter for going out. But when Shelley arrived at seven she had a present for me that rendered any decision making on the ‘what shall I wear’ front redundant. It was a real deal maternity tee shirt, the genuine article, black with a few sparkly sequins sprinkled round the neck and over one shoulder, and an almost subtle neon pink slogan across the chest saying ‘I’m not fat I’m pregnant’. The subtle bit was that the writing wasn’t too massive and as long as you were more than ten feet away it would be hard to read.
I thanked her, gave her a hug and straight away disappeared to the bedroom to put it on. Although I wasn’t too enamoured with the slogan announcing the fact I was pregnant, still I loved it and had to admit it did fit better than the tee shirts I’d bought last Saturday, and hey this was supposed to be my coming out party wasn’t it? So the slogan was sort of par for the course really.
We went in my car, as I wasn’t going to be drinking anyway, and there was a distinct possibility that some of the girls, Shelley included, would be going on somewhere else after the restaurant. I hadn’t made my mind up if I was going to be one of them or not yet, the plan was to see how it went and if I felt up to it nearer the time.
We were the first to arrive, Shelley had phoned ahead and warned them at the restaurant that there might be about eight of us, just to be on the safe side and guarantee the only large enough table they had that could accommodate us all. We ordered a glass of white wine each, mine low alcohol, and settled ourselves at the large round table up on the mezzanine level to wait for everyone else.
‘A night off from Nick then, are you getting withdrawal symptoms yet?’ I asked.
‘You’re so funny, and no I’m not. He’s having a bit of a boys night out with his mates tonight anyway as it happens, and I don’t see him every night you know.’
I didn’t answer I just gave her a questioning stare that implied ‘Oh really’.
‘I don’t. I see him maybe four or five times a week tops.’
I still didn’t answer, or change the look on my face.
‘Okay maybe six or seven, but I don’t want to be anywhere else, or with anyone else, and neither does he,’ she confessed. ‘Well except tonight to be with you of course,’ she hastily added in case I was offended.
But I wasn’t offended I just thought it was funny, a bit treacly twee, but mostly funny.
‘So how’s it been at work, did they give you a rough time when you told them?’ Shelley said changing the subject.
‘It wasn’t as bad as I thought, most people were really nice about it. Only one hiccup, I had to talk to the twonk.’
‘No! What happened did he remember you?’
‘Well sort of, he remembered my name but not that we’d . . . but that’s not the worst bit.’
‘There’s worse?’
‘Oh yes, much worse. He’s got a brother.’
‘So he’s got a brother?’
‘A twin brother.’
‘And?’
‘And that means he’s a twin.’
‘Okay what am I missing here, so he’s got a twin brother so what . . . oh my god you think you could be having twins. Bloody hell.’
‘Er yeah. Bloody hell just about covers it.’
We didn’t get a chance to unravel all the myster
ies of my really crap luck, or how the hell I was ever going to be able to cope with twins if that’s what it turned out to be, because Tricia arrived closely followed by short Fran and Helen. Then while they were still in the throes of ‘Oh my Goding’ and squealing about how I’d kept it all a secret and how round I was, Dianne and Mel arrived.
The decibel level rose significantly making the other diners in the restaurant turn to see what all the commotion was about, then seeing it was a bunch of unruly women obviously on a girls night out give us a few dirty looks, that prompted me to tell everyone to please keep it down a bit as everyone was looking at us.
Suitably chastised and uncharacteristically, although it was still early and as yet un-alcohol fuelled as these things go, everyone quietened down a bit and sat down to begin my in depth grilling as to the who, when, and how’s of my predicament.
Some of us had a starter, although I gave it a miss, while the rest of us waited patiently, or not so patiently in the case of short Fran, for them to finish and get on to the main course. I too was getting impatient to get to the main course hoping that once everyone was eating, the endless questioning would abate somewhat. I couldn’t blame them all really, I mean if it had been one of them pregnant and I’d only just found out about it I’d have been just as curious, or should I say as nosy, as they were all being now. Maybe nosy is not quite the right narrative after all they were my friends, okay make that interested.
Tall Fran arrived at the same time as the main course, apologising for being late, and the whole series of questions started again for her benefit. Although this time round, now that everyone else knew pretty much the whole scenario, some of the others chipped in saving me the bother of saying it all a second time.
‘I knew it.’ Tall Fran said when she’d caught up.
‘What!’ I said slightly shaken.
‘You didn’t.’ Tricia said. ‘None of us knew, how could you know?’
‘Well not knew exactly, guessed. As soon as Judy said she was off the drink and not wearing her usual pulling outfit last time we went out I wondered.’ Tall Fran admitted smugly.
39 Weeks Page 9